Anyone Care For Some Star Wars FanFic?

Just for kicks, I recently decided to write my first fan fiction. Star Wars seems like the best property to take a crack at, as I feel like it’s the most in-flux, so I could pretend that I was crafting the next story that would occur after the infamous Rise Of Skywalker.

Star Wars: Converging Paths is my version of of what I’d like to see the Star Wars continuity look like in a post Sequel Trilogy timeline. There is, admittedly, some existing continuity cherry-picking that I used along the way. But I believe it will broadly fit in-line with what we’ve seen to this point.

I posted it on Archive Of Our Own, so give it a shot if you’re so inclined. I think you’ll enjoy it, if you do.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66952024/chapters/172827007

2025 – A Good Year For Capes & Screams

Two types of movies that I have always loved are horror films and superhero films, and 2025 has been a really good year for both so far.

My favorite horror movies this year are sort of more hybrids than straight-up horror.
Sinners is a really well-mixes action-horror with inspirational ties to a couple of my favorite horror flicks from the ’90’s: From Dusk Til Dawn and Tales From The Crypt Presents Demon Knight. Another old movie that seemed to be reflected here was the mid-80’s Italian horror cult classic: Demons.
Ryan Coogler is one of the most accomplished directors working today, so him delivering the good here was less of a surprise than the several full-blown and catchy musical numbers in the film.

Danny Boyle and Alex Garland coming back for – what I suppose would be considered a legacy sequel (legasequel) at this point – 28 Year Later was probably less of a sure thing than Sinners, but they made a movie worthy of following up one of the tightest and most influential horror movies of all-time: 28 Days Later.
In some ways it’s very different than the original but, considering it’s set nearly thirty years into England being quarantined from the rest of the world, it had to be in order to make any sense.
The fact that all the folk horror and zombie action are window dressing for a young man’s coming-of-age story is an intriguing Trojan Horse job that is much better than it really had to be in order to be considered a success.

Weapons goes even younger with its mysteriously missing kids plot, though only one of the children actually plays a part in the story – at least until its very cathartic ending. It also takes a stronger mystery and humor angle than Sinners or 28 Years Later.
The filmmaker – Zach Cregger – doesn’t have nearly the same resume as Coogler, Boyle, or Garland, but between Weapons and Barbarian he’s well on his way to finding a similar niche as someone like Jordan Peele as someone who can consistently be counted on to putting out horror flicks with widespread appeal

Thunderbolts* (aka New Avengers) and Fantastic Four were the two most enjoyable MCU films since Spider-Man: No Way Home. That Spidey flick was more of a stunt to pull in an avalanche of nostaglia cred – and worked wonderfully as such. But Thunderbolts* is probably a better as a start-to-finish movie, and was a solid effort to make a smaller (by MCU standards) film. It also handles very real mental health struggles with a far more deft hand than one might expect from the MCU. I was very happy when they handed its director – Jake Schreier – the keys to X-Men.

Fantastic Four works for similar reasons – making us actually care about the characters – but also because it is able to truly stand alone as a movie, without needing to have any prior knowledge of the 15+ years of MCU history. In fact, that’s why I was able to bring my kids (9 years-old and 6 years-old) to the movie, and they were able to completely enjoy it on its own merits.

We also took the kids to see Superman – which they loved nearly as much as I did – and they were able to get in on the ground floor for the new DC Universe, which will be shepherded in by James Gunn.
I’ve always liked Gunn’s films, and his TV shows, dating all the way back to movies like Slither and Super.
As someone who grew up on the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, I am not afraid to say that I felt like the new Superman was the best Superman movie. It had all the heart of those first two Reeves films, but it was able to deliver action sequences that simply were not possible 40+ years ago.
Superman, the character, has always been he platonic ideal of non-toxic masculinity.
This is a man with incredible powers who cares deeply for people, respects people, fights for all the people who face enemies and dangers that they could not hope to stand against alone.
But he’s also flawed, and he makes mistakes – but he recognizes and accepts those flaws and mistakes, and does what he can to become the best version of himself.
That’s something that the world really needs to see now more than it has in a long time, and I was so happy to take my boys to experience that on the big screen.

Damn, Three Years?

My last post was in 2022?
Boy, has a lot happened since then. I’m going to get back on here and post some longer form stuff about things I enjoy and want to blab about to no one in-particular.

Rather than even try to catch up, I’m just going to go for more “from this point on” thing. Though I will do a quick 2025 catchup post soon, just to sort of get back into the swing of things.


Even so, I imagine I’ll be a lot more active on my other social media poisons of choice. Speaking of which:

Threads: @joemikolay

BlueSky: @joemikolay.bsky.social

Making Space for Space With ‘For All Mankind’ And ‘Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’

Sometimes you just want to watch something with spaceships. That’s how I felt a few weeks ago when I decided to start watching the Apple TV+ series ‘For All Mankind’. I’d seen the trailers for the third season, where there is a new Space Race to Mars, and figured it was worth a shot. Alternate History stories can be hit or miss with me, but a show about Russia winning the original Space Race to the Moon kicking off a much more progressive and daring age of space travel sounded like a winner to me.

The first season starts in the late 1960’s and, honestly, for about five or six episodes it feels sort of like ‘Mad Men At NASA’. I don’t mean that to sound derogatory, but it wasn’t quite what I was looking for. Luckily, about halfway through the first season, we get full-blown lunar colonies, and I get right on-board. Season One ends in the early-1970’s, and season two picks up about a decade later in the mid-1980’s. At that point, there are rather larger lunar colonies for both Russia and the United States. Considering this was at the heart of the Cold War, you can imagine that tensions rise, guns arrive riding the wave of that tension, and a nuclear meltdown of a lunar base looms over the last few episodes of the season.

Season Three then jumps ahead another decade, to the mid-1990’s. Now we have a space hotel orbiting the Earth, and the race to Mars picks up steam in a much quicker fashion that anything in the first two seasons. Covering about thirty years in the span of three year means we do get some questionable old age make-up, but nothing too distracting. It helps that the actors in the make-up all do a bang up job with their performances. It also helps that ‘For All Mankind’ is laid out as a generational show right from the start. Sure, we have the adult characters at the beginning. But other characters who start out as children are allowed to grow up (thankfully being re-cast to avoid some super awkward make-up effects) and grow into interesting, well-rounded characters of their own.

As I mentioned, the performances are very good, the production design is fantastic, and the storytelling is not afraid to go to some dark places. It’s a minor spoiler to say each of the three seasons features a handful major character deaths. Each one of those deaths hangs over everything that follows in their own way, and some more than others. But even with that, and the perpetually looming Armageddon, the underlying theme of the show is one of hope. This is a version of history where America and Russia both dedicate themselves to exploring the cosmos in a way that much more inspiring than anything we’ve seen in the real world. And many of the show’s best moments come when people put their differences aside (patriotically and personally) and work together for the good of all mankind.

That last bit has been a basis of Star Trek shows and movies for over sixty years now. These unlikely alliances seem akin to the United Federation Of Planets at the center of Star Trek canon. In many ways, ‘For All Mankind’ plays like a prequel the Star Trek, which is why I started watching ‘Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ (Referred to as ‘SNW’ going forward for brevity’s sake) shortly after ‘For All Mankind; hooked me in. I’ve never been a Trekkie, though I’ve see a handful of the movies and episodes of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ but luckily none of that really matters when it comes to the new Paramount+ show.

I understand it’s sort of a spin-off of ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ but I didn’t feel like I was missing anything when I spun up the first episode of ‘SNW’ and that was a relief. I get the general idea of Star Trek has always been about finding peaceful resolutions or compromises – which is why it’s called ‘Star Trek’ and not ‘Star Wars’ – and that is certainly a recurring motif in many of the episodes. But ‘SNW’ is also unafraid to go to some truly dark places such as a planet whose inhabitants accidentally turn themselves into electric ghosts, or a planet where children are sacrificed regularly, or a future where intergalactic war cost billions of lives. Still, the U.S.S Enterprise feels like a giant flying luxury hotel, and its crew generally have the best interest of the galaxy in-mind when making their choices. Both of which offer a bit of comfort food when dealing with the unrelenting assault on morality and ethics in the daily newsfeed.

I’ll admit that ‘SW’ has more spectacle than ‘For All Mankind’ although the latter has a bit more in the character development department. But they really do make for nice companion pieces to one another. Of course there are thirty episodes of ‘For All Mankind’ up now, and only ten of ‘SNW’ so you can’t go full double-feature all the way. But I absolutely do recommend both shows to anyone who, like me, feels a bit like spending time off planet Earth for a while.

Peacock Is Recreating NBC’s Thursday Night Must See TV Sitcom Line-Up

For a few seasons NBC’s Thursday night Must See TV sitcom line-up consisted of my favorite sitcoms of all time. This was during the time when 30 Rock, Community, The Office, and Parks And Recreations ran in a single two-hour block. It was fantastic and, even when some the shows were re-shuffled or ended, there were usually still two or three of them airing together. Outside of the rare gem like The Good Place, I’ve not found any network sitcoms that I find truly worth watching. Luckily, Peacock made it their business to populate their catalogue with some fine descendants of those shows. There are currently three sitcoms available on Peacock that brought over the 30 Rock/Office/Parks And Rec pedigree with them – mainly by employing a number of creative team members from those shows.

Rutherford Falls came along first, and plays on the optimistic premise that “people are basically good, even if they don’t seem that way at first” that was one of the primary themes of The Office and Parks And Rec. It also has the same sort of small-town setting as those shows, but it does a great job diversifying its cast wider than those earlier shows had. About half of the primary cast are of Native American descent, as are a number of the behind-the-scenes crew, which makes for more genuine representation of the characters. That being said, most of Rutherford Falls’ beats and character archetypes will be familiar to fans of the previous generation of shows. The entire second season just dropped a few days ago, and I’ll be binging my way through it shortly.

Girls 5Eva comes from some of the minds behind 30 Rock and Netflix’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the mile-a-minute rapid fire jokes make that genealogy very clear. It follows the members of a one-hit-wonder girl group from the early 2000’s as they find themselves thrust back into the spotlight when their song is sampled in a chart-topping new hit. Most of the comedy is mined from the women’s continual adjustment to what it means be relevant, and stay relevant, as celebrities in the 2020’s. But all that showbiz comedy is balanced out by the family lives of several bandmembers, and their ever-evolving relationship to one another outside of the spotlight. Also, every episode has at least one really clever original song featured, and that alone worth tuning in for. The second season of Girls 5Eva dropped on a weekly basis, and the finale just aired about a week ago. It was every bit as delightful as the first season, and I hope it’s renewed for a third season soon.

Killing It was the most recent of these shows to debut, as its first season made its way onto Peacock just this past March. This one also comes from some Office and Parks And Rec alums, but actually has a sharper edge than either of those shows, or the other new shows that I’ve discussed. Big picture has some down-on-their-luck Floridians looking to win a $20,000 prize for a snake hunt in the infamous year 2016. But Killing It manages to Trojan Horse a barbed, poignant commentary on social inequity right through its core. Some of the ways this is accomplished by delivering both gut-laughs and gut-punches at the same time. But there is a lot of heart, even if some of it flies under-the-radar until toward the end of the season, that encourages those lower on the societal food chain to hold onto their dreams and look out for each other, since no one else will. It was just recently renewed for a second season, as well.

Up until now, none of these shows premiered at the same time, so I haven’t really been able to assemble a full nightly slate on-par with The Office – 30 Rock – Community – Parks And Recreations, though each of the shows are very enjoyable on their own. But, if you have not yet checked out Rutherford Falls, Girls 5Eva, or Killing It, then I highly recommend building that line-up for yourself, and basking back in a new era of Must See TV.

The Evolution Will Be Televised: How Barry and Stranger Things Embraced Change

Two of my favorite shows on TV recently wrapped their latest seasons. Well, technically Stranger Things has not yet wrapped season four, but the seven episodes that Netflix dropped in-advance of two more in July is close enough to constitute a season to help me make my point. Barry, meanwhile, actually did air its season three finale this past Sunday. While you may not think those two shows have very much in-common, there is one thing that links them: Their willingness to evolve when the situation demands it.

Spoiler Warning for Stranger Things Season 4 Part 1 and Barry Season 3

I’ll start with Stranger Things. The first three season of the show was, at its core, a show about kids. Unless you want to get super dark, shows (and stories in-general) about kids has a limit to how much true danger the kids find themselves in. Sure, some adults and ancillary teenagers have gotten killed on Stranger Things, but that’s different than having your primary characters – who happen to be children – suffering such a fate.

Now, the season three finale featured the death of a more central character than any of the previous episodes. Billy Hargrove, wicked stepbrother to Max Mayfield, had been possessed by the Mind Flayer and essentially fed it a bunch of people to turn it into a giant fleshy semi-kaiju. But, in the end, he managed to break his mind free, and died saving the life of Eleven. In some way, this signaled a turning point with the showrunners saying “No one is truly safe anymore.”

With a nearly two-year break between seasons three and four, the kids have grown into full-blown teens. Suffice to say, Teen Horror plays by different rules than Kids Horror. The Duffer Brother realized this, and drove season four straight into The Horror Zone. The new villain, Vecna, has a horrifying origin, and even more horrifying manner of claiming his victims – something between Freddy Krueger and Sadako/Samar from Ringu/The Ring. Max, who I mentioned earlier, landed right in Vecna’s crosshairs and needed the power of Kate Bush to escape. But my point is that, due to the need to escalate threats and endanger its now-teenage primary characters, the show evolved into something that can better utilize all the tools at its disposal.

For its first two seasons, Barry was a dark comedy about a hitman trying to leave the killing business behind while building a life for himself as a Hollywood actor. Or, at the very least, a guy taking an acting class and not killing people. It managed to sustain this even after the titular character murdered his old army buddy, and Detective Janice Moss who also happened to be the love of his acting teacher/idol’s Gene Cousineau’s life in order to keep the sins of his past a secret. But, again, the prior season hit a turning point that there was no turning back from.

By the end of season two, Barry Berkman had become obsessed with finding and murdering his former handler (and twisted father figure) Monroe Fuchs. This led Barry to a monastery where three separate gangs have met and called a truce, including the Chechens – who Barry helped train at the behest of his friend(?) NoHo Hank. But, with his bloodlust at a boil, Barry charged into the monastery and single-handedly wiped out almost every single person inside. Fuchs (who’s probably really more of a twisted uncle figure than twisted father figure now that I think about it) managed to escape, but the damage from unleashing his inner killing machine had nonetheless doomed Barry.

To their credit, Bill Hader and the creative team realized that it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense for Barry to go back to his acting class. Especially since Fuchs had told Cousineau that Barry was the one who murdered Janice. So, the show had to evolve, and it did so by having Barry re-commit to his unfortunate true calling as a killer-for-hire. This broke Barry in ways that he wasn’t already broken in (and he was already very broken) and the tone of the show shifted to reflect that. Season Three was probably the least funny (thought there were certainly still some laugh out loud scenes), and yet it may have been the best top-to-bottom season yet. In fact, I have a hard time remembering any single season of a show besides Breaking Bad that maintained such an intensity and persistent sense of dread throughout. On top of that, the events of the season three finale set the stage to evolve once again in season four, and I, personally, cannot wait to see what it becomes next.

Many shows that start out strong allow themselves to stagnate in the mire of status quo. Considering how much content is demanding our attention from networks and streamers in this modern Darwinist landscape of television, Stranger Things and Barry have wisely evolved to survive.

Ranking Raimi (Yes, Including Multiverse Of Madness)

Sam Raimi was my first favorite filmmaker. Army Of Darkness came out in 1992 when I was thirteen-years-old. I saw it in the theater, and thought it was just the absolute coolest thing ever. Funny, and scary, and action packed, it had everything I could possibly want in a movie. This was also the time in my life where I started paying attention to such things as “Who directed this movie?” and “Who wrote this movie?” So, as much as I had enjoyed movies like Batman or Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, I hadn’t immediately sought out every other movie that Tim Burton or Steven Spielberg had previously made.

But I did seek out everything Raimi had made prior to Army Of Darkness, and was not disappointed….at least not for the most part (coming to that in my rankings). I got my hands on Evil Dead and Evil Dead II first and, while they weren’t necessarily essential to my enjoyment of Army Of Darkness, they certainly added another layer to it. I then checked out Darkman and, considering my taste in comic books at the time, was shocked that I hadn’t discovered it sooner. I also got my butt in a theater opening weekend a few years later to see The Quick And The Dead, and that both reaffirmed my connection to Raimi’s films, and also led to my discovery of the grand cinematic history of the Western.

By 1998, my taste in movies had expanded, and so did Raimi’s genre-reach. A Simple Plan was very different from anything Raimi had done before, it had that neo-noir vibe that had been cropping up around that time, and executed it about as well as any other movie. I saw For Love Of The Game, and The Gift when they came out the next two years and, honestly, neither really did much for me. I had stopped reading comics, at least the monthly issues, by 2002 but that didn’t mean my excitement level was anything but nuclear when Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man exploded into theaters. 2004’s Spider-Man 2 improved on the already-great formula provided by the first film in almost every way. Spider-Man 3 came out in the dead zone of comic book movies between 2005’s Batman Begins and 2008’s The Dark Knight & Iron Man, and that’s about where the movie belongs.

But Raimi, probably jaded by Studio Suits insisting on Spider-Man 3’s cram job, got back to his horror roots in a big way in 2009’s Drag Me To Hell. The follow-up to that came four years later with Oz, The Great And Powerful, a movie that turned out so bad – likely due in large part to that same sort of studio interference – that Raimi left the director’s chair for almost a decade. He finally returned to theaters this past weekend with Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness. I’m not sure he would have ever wanted to jump back into the studio machine, even an absurdly successful machine such as The Marvel Cinematic Universe. But Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige learned a great deal about filmmaking from Sam Raimi while working under him for Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, and that probably gave Raimi a comfort level and confidence in the project that he wouldn’t otherwise have had. And I’m very glad he did, and Multiverse Of Madness was a lot of fun, and (perhaps surprisingly) a lot of Raimi.

With that, I’m ranking my favorite Same Raimi movies. I’m only picking from his feature films, so shorts and TV episodes will be left out. And, again, I’m ranking my favorite Raimi movies. So, while my higher choices may (or may not) be the most polished works, they are the ones I enjoyed the most.

15 – Crimewave (1985) – A swing and a miss. This was Raimi’s first studio film, as Evil Dead was a fully independent production. Maybe he had a hard time adjusting to a system where he didn’t have total creative control? Maybe he had too many ideas, and wasn’t quite sure how to make them work together, or which ones to cut? Either way, he swiftly put this one behind him and moved onto better things.

14 – Oz, The Great And Powerful (2013) – Not even remembered fondly or poorly enough to be a cautionary tale, which could be a cautionary tale unto itself. End of the day, though, it was a prime example of what happens when the worst impulses of a studio and (presumably) a filmmaker collide while churning some well-trod IP through the CGI paint-spill machine.

13 – For Love Of The Game (1999) – Raimi’s flare for inventive camerawork comes through during the scenes that take place during the baseball game itself. But, if this movie was really going to work, it needed the scenes interspersed throughout between romantic leads Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston to hit home, and those scenes simply did not.

12 – Spider-Man 3 (2007) – Raimi wanted the Lizard as the villain in this movie, but Sony/Columbia insisted that Venom get wedged in there. Would the movie have been better if they’d let Raimi make it his way? Probably. How much better? I’m not sure. The only thing leftover from Spider-Man 2 was finishing up Harry Osborn’s arc as he transformed into the new Green Goblin, and even that thread got lost in this tossed salad of a movie.

11 – The Gift (2000) – Cate Blanchett was just starting her run here that’s been going strong for 20+ years now. And the movie is an okay, southern gothic, murder mystery. But it’s not much more than just okay.

10 – The Evil Dead (1981) – This, along with 1978’s Halloween, proved that small-scale indie horror could sometimes be the best horror. Perhaps remembered as funnier than it actually was, likely because it gets a bit tangled up with Evil Dead II which was essentially just a bigger budget remake with more humor. The Evil Dead is the true definition of a cult film, and set the standard for a sub-genre defined by splattery, cabin-in-the-woods frightshows.

9 – A Simple Plan (1998) – Along with The Gift, this is much more of an “actors’ picture” than any of Raimi’s other films. I mentioned earlier that a slew of neo-noir movies rolled out in the late-90’s til the early-2000’s. Even in that mix, A Simple Plan sticks out as a shockingly subdued (for Raimi) morality play.

8 – Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (2022) – I’m as surprised as you are that this movie is ranked this high. I wouldn’t have thought it would be until the second half of the movie kicked in, and Raimi got to really dig into his bag of tricks. Multiverse Of Madness isn’t really top level MCU stuff, though maybe if Raimi had been at the helm from the start rather than brought in after the original director stepped away it could have gotten there. Either way, it’s a lot of crazy, and a lot of fun, and I was very happy to see Raimi making a big studio film that genuinely felt like one of his films after the Spider-Man 3 and Oz debacles.

7 – Spider-Man (2002) – The earliest two Producer credits on Kevin Feige’s IMBD page are X-Men (2000) and Spider-Man. He has a producer credit on virtually every Marvel film adaptation of the 21st century (for better and worse), and is the true Godfather of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. At any rate, X-Men went all nighttime battle scenes, and black leather costumes. While Spider-Man embraced red-and-blue spandex swinging in the sunshine. It’s pretty clear which of these films Feige referenced back to when shepherding the MCU into existence. What Sam Raimi did with Spider-Man laid the blueprint for the modern superhero movie.

6 – Drag Me To Hell (2009) – Mean, gross, scary, and funny. It’s so much like Evil Dead II that I’m frankly a bit surprised that it doesn’t get more shout-outs since its release. In fairness, Alison Lohman’s “Christine Brown” is not allowed to be as likeable as Bruce Campbell’s “Ash Williams” which may be why it’s not as beloved. But that’s also kind of the point of the movie. Raimi’s palate-cleanser from Spider-Man 3 is gag-inducing at times, but it’s all in good fun.

5 – Darkman (1990) – One of the many movies seemingly inspired by 1989’s Batman (Dick Tracy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are among the other immediate examples). But, while those three movies are actual comic book adaptations, Darkman is an original property. It very much feels like the love child of a superhero movie and a classic Universal Studios horror movie, and that makes sense when you consider the breadth of Raimi’s work.

4 – Army Of Darkness (1992) – I went into my love or this movie at the top of this article, so I won’t spend too much time on it here. Still a damn entertaining flick, even if the silliness doesn’t hit my funny bone quite as hard now as it did when I was thirteen. But I think it’s fair to call this “The Most Sam Raimi Movie Ever even if it may not be “The Best Sam Raimi Movie Ever”

3 – The Quick And The Dead (1995) – coming off the heels of the 1992 deconstructed Western: Unforgiven and 1993’s modernized Western: Tombstone, The Quick And The Dead is a Western crafted purely for popcorn piles and soda-chuggings. It’s so much fun, and plays like another of my favorite types of movie “the tournament movie” (see half of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s filmography). Raimi brings along his frenetic camerawork, and his bag of horror movie tricks to create something wholly unique. Doesn’t hurt that he cast Gene Hackman as his Unforgiven archetype, only with an itchier trigger finger, Sharon Stone in the brief period of time after Basis Instinct when she was the biggest actress in the world, Russell Crowe before his L.A. Confidential breakout, and Leonardo DiCaprio before Romeo + Juliet earned his poster a spot in every teenage girl’s locker. This, honestly, might be Raimi’s most purely re-watchable movie.

2 – Evil Dead II (1987) – While The Evil Dead is a cult classic, Evil Dead II is a true Horror classic. Funnier than Evil Dead, and scarier than Army Of Darkness, it hit the balance perfectly. The first movie created a template, and Evil Dead II perfected that template. Filmmakers have been chasing the dragon to recapture this lighting in the thirty-five years since its release, but they rarely manager to approach this level.

1 – Spider-Man 2 (2004) – A nearly-perfect superhero movie. We’ve had many since this, and some have reached greater heights. But, with several good-to-great comic book movies dropping every single year, Spider-Man 2 still holds a spot near the top of just about any list. So, as a guy who never misses a comic adaptation, I guess it comes as no surprise that it tops my list of favorite Sam Raimi movies.

Defending Wanda Maximoff (And Her Characterization In Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness)

I’ll put the spoiler warning for Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness right up here (as if the title of this article wasn’t enough of a giveaway).

First, my succinct review of the film: It was exactly what I expected an MCU movie directed by Sam Raimi would be, and I very much enjoyed it. I hope it inspires Kevin Feige, and the powers-that-be, to let other filmmakers imprint their style on future MCU films. The movies that James Gunn and Taika Waititi directed showed a little of this, and Chloe Zhao got some of her stuff in. But, if the MCU is to truly evolve and last into the future, letting the directors make their individual movies stand out is the way to go.

Now, onto the hot topic that has grown from many people who have seen the film over the course of its opening weekend. A number of takes state that Wanda Maximoff AKA The Scarlet Witch fell into one of two problematic story tropes: The “hysterical woman” or “women can’t be trusted with power” tropes. I do not believe that Wanda falls into either of these tropes, rather, she’s more in-line with two different, much less reductive tropes: “The desperate parent” and “The overpowered character.”

Some Context: When last we saw Wanda in the finale of WandaVision, she had taken down her “Hex” that had unintentionally (more or less) imprisoned the citizens of Westview, New Jersey. The spell she had cast was really just her way of resolving the existing trauma stemming from the deaths of her parents, her brother, and Vision. However, taking down her Hex created an even more devastating new trauma. She had created children while in the Hex – twin boys Billy and Tommy. Tragically, this meant that they could only exist within the Hex and were erased (for lack of a better term) when Wanda undid the spell.

In almost every way, Billy and Tommy were living beings. They had their own thoughts, their own personalities, and perhaps even their own souls. But being created by Wanda’s magic, and her love, tied them to the Hex. In the actual last scene we saw Wanda in prior to the new film, she had fully embraced her title of Scarlet Witch in an isolated cabin, where she was studying an ancient book of dark magic called the Darkhold. The last thing we heard in that scene were Billy’s and Tommy’s voicing calling out for help. Anyone who thought Wanda was studying the Darkhold for reasons other than to get her children back was sorely mistaken.

In Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness, Wanda is hunting America Chavez, a teenage girl with the power to travel through the multiverse (the multiverse itself, having been created during the events of the Loki season finale). But, since Chavez cannot willingly control this power, Wanda’s plan involved stripping it from her – likely killing her in the process. Wanda does kill a lot of people in the film, but it’s not exactly like she’s punching below her weight class (besides the fact that everyone is below her weight class, which we’ll get to in a bit).

She attacks Kamar Taj, resulting in the deaths of numerous sorcerers. Later, she dreamwalks (controls the mind of a different universe’s Wanda) to kill the Illuminati. That universe’s Illuminati is not the primary MCU’s (finally officially labeled 616) and consists of Mr. Fantastic, Captain Marvel, Black Bolt, Captain Peggy (super soldier) Carter, and Professor X – some true heavyweights of superherodom. Wanda makes fairly quick (and grisly) work of them while barefoot, and wearing pajamas in someone else’s body. It’s honestly about the most bad ass thing anyone has ever done in the MCU to date.

Since we’re already here, I’ll get into the first of the tropes I mentioned earlier “the overpowered character.” This one simply states that the most powerful character at the beginning of the story cannot be the true hero of the story. The reason is simply that there is very little drama to be had if it’s already established that the hero can defeat the villain. Wanda unlocked the powers of The Scarlet Witch at the end of WandaVision, so if she was on fighting alongside the heroes this likely would have been a much shorter movie. As such, she either had to be sidelined somehow early on, or she had to be the villain of the story. Since the filmmakers wanted her to play a major role in the film (and justifiably so, because Elizabeth Olsen is great, and some of Wanda’s flexes are truly awesome) they chose the latter.

Now, onto Wanda’s motivations. I have two kids of my own (aged 6 and 3) and there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do to protect them, or to save them if (god forbid) the need ever arose. So, I totally get where Wanda is coming from. The trope of a mother or father doing whatever is possible to save their children – the “desperate parent – is as old as any. If Vision and Wanda had swapped places, the story would be the same. The right choice was made here, as Wanda has always been a more interesting character that Vision. But, my point is that it’s not exclusive to moms (Happy Mothers’ Day to all the mom’s out there, btw, if you’re reading this on it publishing date).

It’s established in the movie that the Darkhold exacts a heavy toll on its user. It’s also said in clear terms that the (again, ancient book of dark magic) is exerting an influence on Wanda. So, that needs to be coupled with her personal motives to understand the whole picture. But I also want to bring the end of Wanda’s arc into the light here. She is ultimately stopped when America Chavez, finally able to control her power, opens a portal to the universe that Wanda had invaded earlier. There, 616 Wanda interacts directly with that universe’s Billy and Tommy. The boys are terrified of her, as they watch her attack their mother. This is what finally begins 616 Wanda’s breakthrough.

The resolution comes when the other Wanda makes use of her (and everyone’s) true superpower: Forgiveness. Despite being possessed, and made to murder people, this Wanda empathizes with 616 Wanda. She understands her pain, and assures her that Billy and Tommy will be loved. It’s only then that 616 Wanda finally accepts that what she was trying to do is wrong. She finally accepts that it’s time to let go. She destroys the Darkhold, and seemingly herself (but, c’mon, we all know better) knowing that she must be stopped. Knowing that she’s the only one who can stop herself.

Dr. Strange almost gets her to this place very early in the movie, asking her to consider how the boys would react to being stolen from their real mother. But, as she’s momentarily distracted, he attacks her with magic hand snakes, and everything goes south for a while. Dr. Stephen Strange’s poor bedside manner strikes again! Anyway, if he had had been able to talk her down, we never would have gotten all the insane multiversal madness that we came for.

Wanda Maximoff had the best part, and was the driving force, in the film. This combination is somewhat rarer than you might think. And Elizabeth Olsen knocks it out of the park. She is the heart of the story, as dark and twisted as that heart might have become before seeing the light. I do hope that performance ends up outlasting the characterization criticisms as the legacy of Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness.

Everybody Loves Uhtred – An Uht-Head’s Elevator Pitch For Watching The Last Kingdom

I can’t say for sure that I created the term “Uht-Head” but I haven’t heard it before, so I’ll stake a claim to it until proven otherwise. It’s what I call fans of Netflix’s The Last Kingdom, which just wrapped up its five season run a few weeks ago.

Spoiler Warning For The Last Kingdom

Trying to summarize the events that occur through five seasons, and nearly fifty episodes, of The Last Kingdom would be a fool’s errand. The show ran at an accelerated pace that would put the final two seasons of Game Of Thrones to shame for its entire run. There were advantages to this – as every scene mattered just as much as every other scene. But there were also disadvantages to this – it repeated some plots points more than it needed to as it plowed through storylines, and thorough character development was awful hard to come by.

To be honest, Game Of Thrones is not the best comparison for The Last Kingdom. Despite its ancient realm setting, political gamesmanship, and large scale battles, the truth is that The Last Kingdom has more in common with Netflix’s other series Narcos. Both are based on true stories, though are not dogmatic to the actual events as they essentially take the Wikipedia version of history and use it as their setting. Another good comp would be something like Justified or Reacher, where one single character is the center of all things. This character is smarter than all the others, a better fighter than all the others, and well-liked by everyone other than the villains.

One might find that to be eye-rolling, but The Last Kingdom takes place in a time and place where horrific events regularly occur and – when they do – you’ll be happy to have Uhtred Son Of Uhtred as your guide through these troubling times. What you need to know about Uhtred is that he was born a nobleman in what will someday be known as Northern England. His ancestral home, and fortress, of Bebbanburg is raided by Danes (proto-vikings) when he is a child. Uhtred is taken by the Danes, who take a liking to him, and decide to raise him as one of their own.

When he reaches adulthood, he goes on a raid, but ends up getting sidetracked for about thirty years or so due to some promises he makes to King Alfred who offers him an eventual shot at re-taking Bebbanburg in-return. Despite a bit of an love / hate thing with Alfred, Uhtred becomes an essential member of the king’s conquest to unite all the kingdoms of the land under the banner of Wessex. Knowing how Danes think, and fight, allow Uhtred to provide advantages on the battle field. It also provides the gateway to Uhtred simply being more badass than everyone else residing on the planet at the time.

Of course, Uhtred is also a super-likable dude and all-around great hang. Which is how he ends up working to unite the kingdoms with Alfred, Alfred’s eventual son and heir Edward, and Edward’s eventual bastard son (therefore not his heir) Aethelstan. In fact, King Edward so trusts Uhtred that when he has a second son born from a more desirable marriage (at least according to Edward’s mother) putting Aethelstan’s life in-danger, he sends the boy to be raised by Uhtred away from Wessex.

By the end of the final season, we see Aethelstan as a teenager who is nearly as good in a fight, smart in a strategy session, and beloved by his peers as his adopted father figure himself. In the series finale, Uhtred and his squad retake Bebbanburg, and Aethelstan chooses to stick with him rather than returning to Wessex with his biological father. Chalk up two another win for Uhtred.

To touch on the aforementioned Uhtred’s Squad briefly – They are men and women that Uhtred encounters in a variety of ways. Some had engaged him in a battle of wits. Some had fought against him on the battlefield. His best friend, Finan, met him when they were both sold into slavery for an episode or two. In the end, they all realized how awesome Uhtred was, and decided to dedicate their lives to living – and fighting – alongside him. It’s a fun group, too. If you’re a fan of found family narratives, this whole aspect should hit your sweet spot.

It’s not all fun and games, mind you. As I mentioned earlier, there are some truly horrific acts of violence against men, women, and children. Uhtred, himself, loses more than one wife and more than one child through the run of the series. If he, as a character and actor (shout out to Alexander Dreymon), were not as capable and charismatic as he is, The Last Kingdom would be a truly bleak viewing experience.

One thing that began as pet peeve for me, before I said “hell with it” and just committed to the ride, is the passage of time. By extension, the aging (or lack thereof) of the characters would be a bit disconcerting. This is mainly because, while the story takes place over the course of three-ish decades, characters do not visibly age once they reach adulthood. Uhtred and his squad are good examples of this, as is Alfred’s wife Aelswith. But, once you accept that characters like Edward and his sister Aethelflaed starting as children and aging into adulthood over the course of the series, while Uhtred and Aelswith appear to remain the same age, you’ll be able to settle in for an entertaining experience.

I have left so much out of this post because, frankly, there’s just no way I could even remember all the events and fit them into anything smaller than an encyclopedia. Bottom Line is that there is a lot more to The Last Kingdom, and a great many more characters who are important to the storylines. But all of that will come in good time as long as you sit back and accept that the most important thing of all is that everybody loves Uhtred, and damned if he’s not out there earning that love.

Despite season five being the last season of the show, there is a movie coming to Netflix in the near-future called Seven Kings Must Die that is intended to truly wrap everything up. You’d better believe I’ll be there streaming that sucker the day it drops. After all, an Uht-Head’s gonna Uht-Head.

The Batman May Not Reinvent The Wheel, But It Is The Roundest Bat-Wheel Yet

I’m of the opinion that The Batman is the best live action Batman movie ever made.

To be clear, anytime anyone says something is “the best” it is a purely subjective statement. I’m going to make my case but, if you happen to read this post and disagree, I’ll thank you to not lambaste me about how very wrong I am, and I shall extend you the same courtesy.

One more point to clear is that my take is stating that The Batman is the best, top-to-bottom, live action Batman movie. That does not mean that every part of it is better than every part of previous Batman movies. For example, I still believe that Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker in The Dark Knight is the best performance in a Batman film, and that Danny Elfman’s score used in Batman – Batman Returns – Batman Forever – Batman & Robin is still the best score.

I’m also, at this point, going to stop referring to them as “live action” Batman movies. While I enjoyed many of the animated films, I like to consider animated films in-general on a different scale than live action films. Neither is better or worse, they’re just different. In this case, I just want to focus on live action. And THAT was the last time I’ll use the adjective in this post.

My relationship to Batman as an intellectual property starts where a lot of people’s does: I was ten-years-old when Batman ’89 came out. My mom waited in line with me on opening night for several hours, so long in fact, that we ended up getting tickets to an 11pm showing. God bless mom for letting me stay up that late in a theater at that age. I memorized every word, and every beat of action. Needless to say, it was my favorite movie for the ensuing five-to-ten-years. That emotional connection that I had during my formative years has made it very difficult for me to view Batman ’89 through anything other than rose-colored nostalgia glasses.

I started reading Batman comics at that point, which led to me reading a great many more comics (DC and Marvel and Image and Valiant). So, I have Batman to thank for preparing me for the Geek Renaissance of the 21st century. But that’s a whole other topic. I also sought out Batman: The Movie from 1966, and the whole run of that TV show. Even as a kid, it seemed “too kiddie” for me and had nothing to do with the Batman I had seen in the theater and was reading about in my monthly comic pulls.

I loved Batman Returns when it came out, it’s still one of my favorite Christmas movies. I didn’t hate Batman Forever at first, but I was sixteen at the time, so it certainly made me wary. Batman & Robin was an absolute disaster, and nineteen-year-old me knew it almost immediately. Then there was a break in Batman movies. A seven-year break. In that time there were a handful of good comic book movies, and a bunch of bad ones. Then, Warner Brothers decided it was time to get back in the Big Screen Bat Business.

Batman Begins presented a much better origin story than Batman ’89 and, while it was much better than the Joel Schumacher films, 26-year-old me still had it neck-and-neck with the Tim Burton films. The Dark Knight came out three years later and – nostalgia glasses or not – I immediately knew this was the best Batman movie. The Dark Knight Rises came out the same year as Marvel’s The Avengers, and couldn’t measure up to the first two movies in Christopher Nolan’s trilogy or what Marvel Studios had been cooking up in their lead up to – and everything since – 2012.

In 2016 we got Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Even at 37 years-old I was super-psyched to finally see those two characters, not to mentioned Wonder Woman, share the big screen. When I heard it would feature Ben Affleck playing an older Batman, I got my hopes up that we would be playing the same Bruce Wayne/Batman from the Nolan trilogy. I was more-than-ready for a true unified DC Movie Universe. This ended up being the most disappointed I had ever been in a superhero movie due, in large part, to my sky high expectations. In hindsight, BvS was better than the Schumacher films, but not nearly as good as any of the Burton or Nolan films. And I say that as someone who also found The Dark Knight Rises to be something of a disappointment.

Justice League came the year after, in 2017, and was bad. The Justice League Snyder Cut premiered on HBO Max in 2021 was was slightly less bad than the theatrically released Whedon Cut. But this was around the time when we started getting real details on the new film: The Batman.

I’m 43 years-old this year, and I still get pumped when a new MCU Movie comes out as Marvel Studios has proven that they know how to deliver the goods (almost) every time. But, with The Batman, my first instinct was a bit more skeptical. After the Snyder films, I lost faith in DC/WB’s ability to make a good Batman movie. If I’m being honest, some of that doubt started creeping in back in 2012.

I also started feeling those Amazing Spider-Man vibes (2012 was sure a mixed bag when it came to comic book movies), as it seemed a little too soon to reboot the entire franchise. In 2007, Spider-Man 3 ended the Sam Raimi series on a very ambiguous note. But I was ready to see Peter Parker/Spider-Man finally be an adult superhero. At the time, I thought Andrew Garfield would be playing the same version of Spidey as Tobey Maguire had played. Much like with Batman V Superman, I was mistaken. Ever since Spider-Man No Way Home came out in December Andrew Garfield has finally gotten proper credit for playing a good Peter Parker/Spider-Man in a pair of otherwise not good movies. However, this precedent was not an encouraging one when applied to The Batman.

That being said, the details of the movie started to give me some hope. I don’t really have a history with Robert Pattinson. I watched Twilight once on TV about fifteen years ago and only saw him in a few other films (none Twilight-related) since then. So, he was an unknown to me. The rest of the cast looked solid with Zoe Kravitz, Jefferey Wright, Paul Dano, Colin Farrell, John Turturro, and Andy Serkis rounding it out.

The last actor on that list led me to the biggest nugget of hope. Serkis had previously worked with Matt Reeves on two of the new Planet of the Apes movies. Those movies are awesome, and Serkis is awesome in them (even behind all that mo-cap). In addition to Dawn of the the Planet of the Apes and War for the Planet of the Apes Reeves had directed two other movies that I really liked: Cloverfield and Let Me In. When it was revealed that The Batman would take place in year two of the titular character’s caped crusade, I was relieves that at least we wouldn’t get a warmed over Batman Begins re-hash.

Still, I went into the theater with very level expectations. Not necessarily low, but also certainly not high. I found myself shocked by just how much I enjoyed The Batman. As with many others, I came out of the theater considering just how it stacked up against the previous iterations. Imagine my surprise when I found myself thinking that it was, pound-for-pound, the best Batman movie I had ever seen.

Spoiler Warning For The Batman

Here’s how I measured The Batman up against the previous movies.

Batman/Bruce Wayne – There’s not much of a difference between the two in The Batman, but that seems like it was purposefully done to show that he was still learning how to be “Bruce Wayne” in public. But Pattison’s Batman makes a strong case for my personal favorite.

I was a long time Michael Keaton guy, for reasons noted above. And I found Christian Bale’s portrayal riveting in its own way. But Pattinson’s Batman gets to be a character, even when wearing the mask. He actually talks to people, rather than just grunts and growls about how he is vengeance (though he does say that) or he is the night. Unlike in any previous films, this Batman is actually a detective. That being the case, he’s required to actually have conversations with James Gordon, Selina Kyle, and Alfred Pennyworth. This is really much more true to the comic book than any previous movie characterizations.

He also seems like the most human Batman. As much as he’s figuring out how to be “Bruce Wayne”, he’s also not yet perfected being “Batman” and we get to take that journey with him. He has some great moments with James Gordon, Selina Kyle, and Alfred. But he also comes across as an empathetic person, most notably with the wordless exchanges he has with the young son of The Riddler’s first murder victim. This brings us to the next two categories.

Allies – I’m talking about Gordon, Selina, and Alfred primarily here. Gary Oldman was a great James Gordon, but I felt that Jeffrey Wright tackled the role in a way that worked better for me. The spin he put on Gordon as a homicide detective so fed up with corruption and ineptitude that he embraces a masked vigilante whose name he doesn’t even know like his best friend and only reliable partner. Wright and Pattinson have a great interpersonal dynamic that has a sort of old fashioned buddy cop vibe.

I was introduced to Michelle Pfeiffer’s seductive, dangerous, and vaccuum-sealed-in-black-vinyl Catwoman when I was 13-years-old. Needless to say, she left an impression. The Jekyll-And-Hyde act was fun in Batman Returns, but Zoe Kravitz got to play a more fully-formed character. She steals to help her friend, but also to get back at her absentee mafiosa father (who killed her mother). Her chemistry with Pattinson, playing two wounded souls not really looking for a connection but finding one out of necessity, was a home run as well.

Andy Serkis’ Alfred had more in-common with Michael Caine’s exasperated version than Michael Gough’s grandfatherly figure. We never got to spend enough time with Jeremy Iron’s more sardonic interpretation for him to make much of a dent on the public consciousness. But Serkis got to have a better arc than any of those other Alfreds. This was helped by him being the caretaker of a big secret that Thomas and Martha Wayne had, and he felt obligated to protect Bruce from. But Serkis and Pattison have a scene where the revelation of this truth allows them to finally open up to one another, and admit the strong familial bond that was always there under the surface.

Enemies – Here we can talk about The Riddler, Carmine Falcone, The Penguin, and the slew of nameless thugs that get thrown at Batman.

The Riddler takes Bane’s crown (The Dark Knight Rises Bane, not the bloated oaf from Batman & Robin) as the scariest Batman movie villain. Heath Ledger’s Joker could have been in the running, but he had a sort of charismatic magnetism that made it hard to look away. Paul Dano’s Riddler is harder to watch, as he spastically attacks his victims while making Leatherface-style grunt and squeals. He’s not a guy you’d ever want to spend even two minutes with. Ledger’s Joker could probably talk you into hanging out just long enough for him to kill you, while you’d do everything in your power to avoid eye contact with this Riddler – in or out of his mask. He also has a connection to extremist QA’non types on his Dark Web channel, which means his henchmen the scariest to date as well. Riddler is presented in most scenes like a true horror movie villain, which is also a first for Batman movies.

John Turturro plays Falcone like the creepily charming friend-of-your-parents who only lets on what he wants you to know about him while hiding almost everything else behind a dark pair of sunglasses. He’s the lynchpin of the organized crime angle in The Batman, which is similar to The Dark Knight’s take. But it feels little more legitimate here, both in the way the characters are presented and the places they hang out – most notably The Iceberg Lounge feels like a place you’d stumble across in a back alley and be promptly beaten and chased off the premises by the doormen.

Penguin has only a few scenes, but Colin Farrell makes the most of them. He doesn’t steal the show, but he does justify his place in it. He’s got more flair than Falcone, and less psychosis than Riddler. In the end, he’s set-up as the natural next evolution of a Gotham City gangster.

The best place to discuss the slew of nameless thugs is actually in the next section.

Action Sequences – It took less than ten minutes for The Batman to prove that it would have better hand-to-hand combat fight scenes than any of its predecessors. By the end of the movie, it wasn’t even close. Not many fight scenes spring to mind when thinking about Batman movies. Maybe the Batman vs Catwoman flirt fight from Batman Returns? Or the first Batman vs Bane fight from The Dark Knight Rises? One of the only good scenes from Batman V Superman was the brief battle when Batman took out a warehouse full of bad guys to save Martha Kent, but even that was just one scene.

There are several scenes in The Batman where the caped crusader throws down with henchmen and thugs. Every one of them is better choreographed, and better shot than anything from the earlier films. It helps that this Bat-Costume is actually functional, so Batman can actually move the way someone would in a real fight.

Now, granted, there’s not really any spectacular action set piece. But, let’s be honest, a lot of the time those sorts of scenes end up hurting superhero movies more than helping them. The car chase is pretty bad ass, as is the Batmobile. At one point, Batman escapes from police custody by (reluctantly) leaping off the top of the tallest police station you’ll ever see after converting his suit into a glider. The great thing about this scene is that Batman can barely control his flight, and ends up wiping out in a very painful manner when he tried to stick the landing. His embarrassed, post-crash hobble off into a dark alley was the most relatable Batman has ever been.

Even the big finish works, because it feels like the sort of terrorist attack that could happen tomorrow. It involves using explosives to flood the street of Gotham City, forcing people to take shelter in Gotham Square Garden where Riddler’s cult has gathered in the rafters with high-powered assault rifles. Living in a country were mass shooting happen all too frequently made this hit a little too close to home. But I’d be lying if I said watching Batman beat the sh*t out of those guys didn’t feel damn good.

Bat-Tech – The Batman’s world is a grounded one, even by the standard set by Nolan’s trilogy. So, the tech that Batman uses is pretty basic (by Batman’s standards). His suit does seem like the most functional one, and he seems to have a full range of motion. Hell, he can even turn his head. Which explains the high collar, as it hides the flexible neck piece. The suit is armored, but more aesthetically pleasing than Christian Bale’s mishmash of plates.

The bat symbol itself isn’t quite as prevalent as Michael Keaton’s iconic yellow-and-black, but its more pronounced than most other versions. Also, despite rumors that Pattinson’s symbol was made by deconstructing the gun used to kill his parents, it’s actually a double-edged utility knife than comes in very handy a few times in the movie’s third act.

Pattinson’s suit does come with some other very cool amenities. There is a taser build into one of the gloves, and a Bat-Grapnel that pops out from his gauntlets whenever needed. There’s also the aforementioned ability of his cape to transform into a glider.

The Batmobile is a nasty, bat-out-of-hell muscle car. It’s got flashing lights, and growls like a monster in a dark cave before the attack. Not as sleek as Keaton’s, nor as tank-like as Bale’s or Affleck’s, but still a really sweet ride that is put to good use when chasing down The Penguin.

The last, and most high-tech, gadget is a pair of contact lenses that record everything Batman sees while wearing them. It’s a very clever device that explains how Batman can work on a case without having access to police files. I’m kind of surprised that no one thought to use something like them before, but they are the tool of a detective, and make all the sense in the world for the first real Batman-As-Detective movie.

Gotham City – More of a non-descript cityscape in the Nolan mold than Burton’s operatic, Expressionist wonderland, The Batman’s Gotham City was not especially memorable. The advantage it had over most previous versions, though, is that it feels more genuinely lived-in. We see the interiors of different buildings, and each is distinct in its own way. Being able to see the characters move and interact inside these locations does make one feel more immersed in the world.

This is more of a compliment for the cinematography than the setting itself, but the beginning of the movie sets a real shadow world vibe. In Batman’s voiceover, another new touch that made the movie feel more true to the comics, he admits that the city is too big for him to be everywhere. But a short montage of criminals staring with fear at dark corners, dark alleys, and dark stairwells emphasizes Batman’s other point that his the fear he instills comes from the fact that – even though he can’t be everywhere – no one knows where exactly he is either. In some ways, that’s almost as good as being everywhere at once.

End Spoilers For The Batman

I‘m going to wrap things up with my new personal ranking of Batman films. Take it or leave it, as I said in the beginning, these things are always subjective.
But here we go:

The Batman
The Dark Knight
Batman Returns
Batman Begins
Batman ’89
The Dark Knight Rises
Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice
Justice League: The Snyder Cut
Batman Forever
Batman: The Movie (1966)
Justice League: The Whedon Cut
Batman & Robin

Orphans – Read The First Four Chapters Of My New Novel For Free

Sheriff Clarence Barnes is the law in the small Wyoming town of Hillbrook.
Anthony Cantare is a hired killer who finds his way to Hillbrook after a job-gone-wrong.
Uriel is a man with no memories, and no place in the world, whose unending search for a lost past takes him to Hillbrook. These three strangers find their fates intertwined, even as a murderous militia group threatens to lay siege to the town.
But this looming incursion may not be as great a threat to them, as they are to each other.

PROLOGUE

Sister Eloise would never forget that stormy September night with thunder rattling the windows and lightning carving a gash through the darkened skies.

She had been with St. Michael’s in the Brighton Beach area of Brooklyn since it was a church, and stayed with it when it was converted into an orphanage nearly twenty years prior.

Early in her tenure she was placed in-charge of the day-to-day operations of St. Michael’s Orphanage, and it wasn’t long before she was looked upon by the other Sisters as their de facto leader. Sister Eloise had seen many things in her time at the orphanage, and many children pass through her doors. But she had never expected to come upon a baby in a basket, despite the outside world’s general notion that it happened all the time.

Most of the time there would be an expectant couple, or a teenage girl with her parents, who were not prepared to take care of a child. They would come to St. Michael’s, where Sister Eloise would hear them out, and then arrangements would be made for the child to be taken in. Some would want to name the baby before releasing them to the Sisters. Others preferred not to, often due to a fear that any added emotional attachment would make the process impossible to complete.

For the unnamed children, the Sisters would take turns picking names. Often, they would be named

after a currently popular actor or singer. And there were quite a few names that were picked out of a book that the naming Sister loved.

But on that September night, with the tempest raging outside, there were no frightened parents-to-be, and no disapproving grandparents-to-be with their frightened child. There was only the sound of a doorbell ringing, and then a basket sitting at the doorstep when Sister Eloise finally opened the door.

It was a large wicker basket stuffed with blankets, and only the cherubic face of an infant uncovered. Sister Eloise took a mental inventory to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming this evening. Finally, she picked up the basket and brought it inside, safe from the elements. The baby was not crying, or otherwise reacting in any way other than curiously glancing at the room and the face of the woman standing before him. 

The baby’s apparent serenity added even more strangeness to an already surreal situation. As Sister Eloise was considering what the proper protocol for this scenario was, she spotted a note attached to the child’s blanket. ‘MY NAME IS WILLIAM’ the note read.

She took the child out of the basket and wrapped him in fresh towels from the linen closet. It was very late, and so all the other Sisters and children were asleep. Sister Eloise paced back and forth across her personal quarters with William until the boy had fallen asleep in her arms.

She was very tired herself, but did not want to put herself to bed until the child had a proper surname. Many names passed through her mind, but

none seemed quite right. At the point of exhaustion, Sister Eloise decided that the most fitting surname was her own. And so, the baby became William Conlan.

When Sister Eloise told the others about the basket baby, and the granting him of her own name, there was some concern. The first of which was the repulsion at the thought of the sort of people who would leave a baby on a doorstep without knowing if the door would even be answered. The other concern was regarding the emotional attachment that would come with Sister Eloise giving the boy her family name. But Sister Eloise’s judgment had always been above reproach, and soon that concern faded away.

Years came and went, and still St. Michael’s Orphanage was the only home that William Conlan had ever known. A small group of nuns had been his only family, and an ever-changing collection of children had been his friends. Every memory from the first ten years of his life was connected to this place.

And while William had been living there for at least three years longer than any other child, he was not angry or bitter at being passed over by so many prospective parents. He felt content, and happy to be of use to his home in any way that he could.

 As a young boy, he would stay close to Sister Eloise at all times. The bond formed on that stormy night growing stronger with time. By the time he was seven-years-old, William was already helping to monitor the other children. He knew the ins and outs of St. Michael’s and the surrounding neighborhood,

and was always happy to help others become acclimated.

Soon, he was helping tidy up both the boys’ and girls’ wings, and making friends in both. As a general rule, the boys and the girls were kept separate whenever possible. But it was a rule that was happily bent for the smallest member of the staff.

At ten-years-old, and ten years at St. Michael’s, Sister Eloise and the others found themselves frustrated that William was not adopted. As kind and lovely a child as any of the Sisters had encountered, with chestnut-colored hair and eyes to match. The fact that he remained at the orphanage confounded the nuns.

It was Sister Eloise who seemed to crack this mystery after a time, when she realized that William was truly happy at St. Michael’s. She imagined that the adopting couples came in and saw a boy who did not want to be removed from the world he had created for himself. As glad as Sister Eloise was to keep William at her side, she still regretted that a normal life with a traditional family evaded him.

But William paid no mind to the occasional sad glances of the nuns. He would simply go about his business every day. He may have only been ten-years-old, but his tenure at St. Michael’s was longer than many of the Sisters’. The boy found boundless joy in his regular routines.

He would wake up before the other children in the morning, and help the Sisters prepare breakfast for everyone. Then, as the Sisters finished up with the food, William would get started setting the tables in the large Mess Hall. He would lay out the plates,

glasses and silverware on the long tables in the only room that the boys and girls would typically share.

 When the first announcement over the loudspeakers called for everyone to come and get their food, William would walk through the dormitories and make sure that no one missed the first meal of the day. After breakfast, he would help clear the tables and wait until the others finished before taking his own turn in the showers. He was equally as involved in lunch and dinner.

There was a courtyard behind St. Michael’s with a playground in the center. William could sometimes be found climbing on the monkey bars, and playing under the basketball hoops. But more often, he would watch the other children play and make sure that none of them got hurt. Or, if they did, he was always the first person to check on them.

But what impressed Sister Eloise and the others the most was William’s behavior when prospective parents would visit. He knew all the children at least as well as the Sisters did, and so he would help greet the couples when they arrived. After meeting the couples, he offered some names to the nuns that he felt would be what they were looking for. The one name that he never offered was his own.

While William was a long way from eighteen, the Sisters worried what would happen if that time came. They were legally obligated to remove an orphan from St. Michael’s when they came of age. However, the opportunity to put that plan into effect never arose.

Sister Eloise was not about to turn William out onto the street, and she decided that if he was still

with them when he turned eighteen, then she would offer him the chance to stay with them as a member of the staff for as long as he wished. Though, she still prayed every night that the time for this would not come.

St. Michael’s may have been the only shelter that William ever wanted, but even it was not sheltered from the outside world. One day, not unlike any other, the wolves made their way to the door.

It was a glorious summer morning, and all of the children were taking in the sunlight on the playground. It was warm but not humid, and the breeze would blow the heat right past the children whenever it got too hot. William was playing Freeze Tag with three other boys when he got thirsty, and decided to run over to the hose for a drink of water.

He sprayed the cool water in his face, before opening his mouth and quenching his thirst. He shook the water out of his hair when he heard Sister Eloise talking to someone at the side of St. Michael’s. She was using her stern voice, which William had heard many times before when he, or another child, got out of line.

Curious about who might be getting in trouble this time, William peered around the corner and saw Sister Eloise speaking with a man in a suit. The man’s back was turned to William, but the strange markings on the man’s hand caught the boy’s eye.

William had no way of knowing that each tattoo represented another of the man’s many crimes. Among them were playing cards, and some strange shaped stars. But it was a tattoo of a cat with its fangs bared, wearing what looked like a pirate’s hat, that

really made the boy curious. After reading Puss In Boots many times, William was suddenly interested in whatever this man had to say.

It was hard for him to understand the man at first, as he spoke with a very heavy accent. After a few more words, Williams identified the Russian accent as one he had heard on the streets many times before in Brighton Beach. The meaning of the conversation itself remained elusive to the boy.

“Is very simple,” the man said around his accent. “You pay for service, or there is problem.”

“What kind of a monster are you?” Sister Eloise asked. “This is an orphanage! We don’t have any money. We only have what the church gives us.”

“Then you give us part what church gives you,” the man replied.

 “So, you want our canned goods and blankets?” Sister Eloise said with exasperation.

“No, no,” the man with the cat on his hand replied. “This is no good. Our service is not cheap.”

“And what exactly would you be protecting us from?” Sister Eloise scoffed. “Other than yourselves.”

The man rolled his neck, eliciting a series of cracking noises. He then grabbed his right fist with the cat in the hat tattoo and popped his knuckles. “You will give us product.”

“What sort of product do you think we have here?”

“Is very in-demand product. Will cover what you owe for a while.”

“I am going to call the police. I suggest you leave before they get here,” Sister Eloise said as she turned towards the side entrance.

“You give us child,” the man said, just as she turned her back to him. “One, maybe two. And we leave you alone for little while.”

Sister Eloise stopped in her tracks. When she turned to face the man again, the fury in her eyes seemed to burn even brighter when compared to the absolute stillness of her body. Without a word, she walked over to the man and cracked him across his face with the palm of her hand.

William had never seen such anger from her before, and he became frightened.

The man seemed to stand up taller than he previously was, as if he was preparing to deliver a strike of his own.

“You will reconsider,” the man finally growled.

“I will never!” Sister Eloise replied. “Now get out of my sight. A thing like you has no place standing near a house of the Lord.”

“I gave you chance,” the man said. “What happens now, you have done.”

The man with the cat tattoo walked past Sister Eloise, who had her fists clenched in a rage.

Unsettled, William walked back towards the playground and took a seat in a shady spot under a tree. After a few minutes he saw Sister Eloise come around the corner and give instructions to another Sister. She passed through the fence entrance, while William quickly and silently slipped out behind her.

He followed her from a safe distance as she walked five blocks to the local police precinct. William watched from a concealed spot behind a car parked across the street. Sister Eloise remained in the Police Station for nearly thirty minutes. When she came back out, she seemed even angrier than when she had entered it.

After returning to St. Michael’s, Sister Eloise locked herself in her private quarters for the remainder of the day. William had never seen her in such a state before, and his worries kept him from sleeping that night. As he lay awake in bed, William heard a cat meowing outside the window.

The cat was a neighborhood stray, and a few nights every week it would come calling. On these nights, Williams would sneak down to the kitchen, grab a few slices of turkey, and then crawl out his window to feed the cat.

He was grateful that the animal had come tonight, as he was in no mood to sleep. So, William grabbed some turkey, and shimmied his way down the water pipe outside his window. But when he reached the ground, the cat was nowhere to be found.

William figured something must have scared it away, so he began tearing the turkey into smaller bits and making kissing sounds to lure the cat out. He was in-front of the apartment building next to St. Michael’s when the explosion knocked him off his feet from behind.

He spun onto his back and saw the flames already engulfing the building. William ran screaming towards St. Michael’s, even as it was being devoured

by flames. He managed to run around the flames to reach the front door, only to find it chained and padlocked.

With the heat nearly suffocating him, William still managed to run to the side entrance, only to find it equally sealed off with heavy chains and padlocks. The fire escape around the back of the building had been made unusable by the initial explosion. William called out to the others inside, only for his calls to be met by frightful and agonized screams.

William ran back to the apartment building next door and began ringing every buzzer. Finally, one tenant buzzed him in. The boy ran to the open door and begged the man who opened the door to call the fire department. 

The boy watched out the apartment window, as the screams began to subside. Before the fire trucks arrived, St. Michael’s had collapsed into a mountain of flaming rubble. William’s eyes went wide and his body numb as his entire world was reduced into flaming cinders.

When William was brought to the same Police Station that he had seen Sister Eloise venture to earlier that day, he was taken to the office of a detective. After he was given a glass of water and seated, the detective entered the room.

“You’ve been through a lot,” the detective said, but William just stared blankly ahead.

“Are they all dead?” the boy asked flatly.

The detective weighed his response for a long moment before replying. “I’m sorry, son.”

William’s shoulders dropped heavily, and his eyes turned towards the floor.

“Do you have any idea who might have done this?” The detective asked.

“The man with the cat on his hand,” William replied, never lifting his gaze from the floor.

“Are you talking about an actual cat?” The detective asked. “Or a tattoo? A drawing on his skin?”

William nodded after the last part.

“Shit,” the detective muttered under his breath.

As the detective leaned back in his chair, William felt that the man’s look of helplessness matched Sister Eloise’s look of fury earlier.

Before he was able to continue, another police officer opened the door to the office.

“Sorry to interrupts, sir,” the other officer began. “But they need you in the other room with one of the apartment tenants.”

“I’ll be right back,” the detective said to William before walking following the other officer out the door.

After a few moments another man entered the office and closed the door behind him. He was a tall man with short blonde hair, and blue eyes.

“You must be William,” the man said, as William’s eyes remained downturned. “I am Father Luke. Would you like to help us get retribution for what was done tonight?”

William finally looked up at the man, and gave him a determined nod.

“Then come with me,” Father Luke said, as he extended his hand to the boy and led him out the door.

A few minutes later, the detective returned to his office and – upon noticing William was gone – called out into the hallway. “Hey, where the hell did the kid go?”

PART ONE

HILLBROOK I:

ANTHONY CANTARE

Anthony Cantare was not accustomed to setbacks, especially in regards to his work. He was a perfectionist who plotted out every aspect of his assignments before he even formally accepted them. Many other people in his line of work would be forced to take a job on the spot, lest they miss out on the payday. 

But Cantare was the best, and anyone who had the means to get in-touch with him would have to know that. He had spent years building a very exclusive network of contacts, and no potential employer without the money, status, or both could get anywhere near them. In fact, some of those contacts had learned very severe lessons by bothering Cantare with job offers that he’d deemed beneath him.

This last job nearly fell into that category, and the contact who had brought it to Cantare nearly took a fall of his own. Taking out a domestic militia nutjob was something that any redneck with a shotgun, big balls, and nothing to lose would be able to do. Even as Cantare lurked behind this contact with his thumb and forefinger on the hilt of the blade that he’d always kept concealed on the inside of his left sleeve, a bit of information was revealed that saved the man’s life.

The employer for the job was a Wyoming senator, and Cantare always gave politicians preferential consideration, as they always paid considerably well. Cantare also warmed at the thought of holding a favor over the head of a senator. Sure, he had done jobs in the past for more run-of-the-mill politicians. But here was a man who had larger aspirations. Pennsylvania Avenue aspirations. And that was something that Cantare could not resist.

The payment for the assignment would be an even five million dollars, which was not the highest that Cantare had ever charged for a job, but seemed a little high for this kind of work. So, Cantare gave the senator a “maybe”, and then did his research on the target. It was through this that Cantare began to understand the lofty price, and the lofty man who wanted the target eliminated. 

Randall James Marshall had more than just a people’s militia or a survivalist group. He had a private army, and one which was comprised of people who saw Marshall as a teacher, a preacher, and a savior. Marshall had built a village deep in a well-protected valley, surrounded by the Laramie mountain range. He preached to his flock about the glorious new world that they would build after all the spiteful, spineless heretics sunk the old world into Armageddon.

Marshall and his followers had built the village seven years prior, and adopted the title of Marshall’s Militia. There, they would live and train to become the equals of the great armies of old. And their glory

would breed a new world, a stronger world that would bury all memory of this weaker world.

No one outside of Marshall’s compound had been able to make an accurate count of how many people were currently living there. But estimates from satellite surveillance claimed at least sixty-five people, including women and children.

The fact that Marshall’s Militia compound was considered too perilous to attack with an outside force was the other thing that caught Cantare’s eye. Marshall was not seen as a direct threat by the Powers-That-Be, and the fact that his village was situated in an area that would no doubt cost many members of an invading force their lives, made any attempt a no-go from the start.

The good senator had tried to convince his peers otherwise many times. He would claim that Marshall was a time-bomb about to explode at any moment. And that the children raised in the ways of the Militia would ensure that Marshall’s legacy would live on and poison future generations. He had campaigned that the compound be razed before it became an infected abscess that bred a wave of domestic terrorism. But his calls to action fell on deaf ears.

Cantare believed – to a degree – that these were the reasons why the senator wanted Marshall eliminated. But Cantare also figured the true motive was that having Marshall’s Militia in Wyoming was a black eye on the record of a man who had his sights set on The White House.

The contract was only for Marshall, as the senator believed in chopping the head off the serpent to kill the body. Cantare’s job description did not

include caring about whether or not his employer’s theories were valid. He was paid to end lives. Any of the fallout from that was someone else’s concern. So Cantare took the job.

Payment was always made before preparations had begun. Anthony Cantare had no interest in killing people for free, so he made sure that the money was in his hands before the blood was on them.

The senator had to make the cash drop alone, and Cantare would stay hidden in the shadows during the exchange. This was Cantare’s protocol, more to study his employers than anything else. Watching a man’s mannerisms, and listening to his word choice while he was paying someone to do his killing for him made Cantare feel like he could see into their souls.

The senator, like all of the politicians who had hired Cantare before him, came dressed in dark clothes with his face hidden behind sunglasses and a hat. Cantare always got a chuckle when he imagined these people coming to see him in those flashy suits and power ties that they always wore to their press conferences. But the only people who ever dressed up for these exchanges were underworld types who more-then-likely kept a stash of money to be used exclusively for hired killings.

The senator seemed nervous – as many of them did – but Cantare did not feel like he was scared of the professional killer lurking in the shadows. He believed that the senator was beginning to fear possible retribution from the other dwellers of Marshall’s Militia. Cantare was not in the habit of telling his employers about his methods, but he did assure them that the killings would not be traced back

to them. In this case, he also told the senator that the death would seem to be due to natural causes.

With as few words as possible, the exchange was done, and Cantare began to gather his resources. Since he had no real desire to travel back to Wyoming, he had decided to set his plans in-motion directly after the meeting. And so, with one suitcase of clothing, one suitcase of tools, and one duffle bag containing five million dollars, he set about his purpose.

Cantare fancied himself as something of an artist. He could take out a target in nearly any type of environment from just over five-hundred-meters with a sniper rifle, but he liked to mix things up. Throughout his career he had used nearly every method of death available.

He had electrocuted a mafia snitch, and strangled a cop on the take who wasn’t earning his keep. He had poisoned a congressman during a dinner at a high-end restaurant, and fed a South American dictator to his own pet piranhas. He had borrowed the M.O of an at-large serial killer to take out a pesky murder witness. He did what he could to keep his work stimulating for himself.

For Randall James Marshall, he decided that suffocation would do nicely. It would be silent and neat, with no clean-up or flashes. The last thing he needed was half a dozen militia nuts kicking down the door and blasting away at him.

Cantare was cocky about his skills, but he wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t bullet-proof. The tough part of this job would be locating where Marshall slept, and then gaining access to him without interference.

Before meeting with the senator, Cantare had traveled to the vicinity of the Marshall’s Militia compound. He’d spent several days and nights scouting the area to develop a basic game plan. It would be a challenge, but not as daunting as he initially believed.

After accepting the job, Cantare flew into Colorado and made a cash purchase of a used white van in Denver. It was early March, and snow still covered much of the area – so white would be the best camouflage. He then travelled to a suburban shop and bought a top-of-the-line snow mobile. From there he loaded the snow mobile into the van and made the drive to Wyoming.

Cantare stopped the van near the stretch of highway that offered the best access point to the compound’s valley.  He didn’t want to raise any suspicions, so he pulled the van far enough off the road where it would not be seen from the highway and slept in the back.

Using the satellite images and coordinates given to him by the senator, he decided that he was close enough to make the trip with the snow mobile. The vehicle was silent and fast, but Cantare still left it nearly half a mile away. He had set up his own camp near the snow mobile and made several trips to Marshall’s compound over the course of a week.

Using that time, he studied the layout. There was a supply shed in the middle of the village, and the cabins all grew out of that central location. A dozen jeeps and pick-up trucks were parked in the street.

 Every man and woman carried guns at all times, and there was a round-the-clock lookout.

Generally, the lookouts would be stationed at the edge of the village with a rotation every three hours. Cantare decided that the shift change would be the best time to gain access to the compound. He ventured in one night while two lookouts were chatting during the transition.

These people were trained, but not nearly as efficiently as they could have been. Cantare spent three days and nights in their vicinity, and the closest he felt to harm was when he heard several gunshots from militia men hunting for food nearly a quarter of a mile away. By his count, the compound contained thirty-four men who were in their late teens and over, twenty-nine women and fourteen children.

Marshall’s cabin was built directly out of the side of a mountain. It wasn’t noticeably bigger than the other cabins, but it did have two guards outside its front door at all times. But Cantare found a very narrow foot trail leading down the mountain towards Marshall’s roof. This cabin, like all of the others, had a chimney and Cantare knew this would be his best point of entry.

When night had fallen once again, Anthony Cantare moved towards the compound. The only real weapons he had on him were a silenced .45 and his trusty hidden blade. He had also packed a pair of night vision goggles, a rag, and a bottle of chloroform.

He gained access to the mountain that Marshall’s cabin had been built next to during the 2 AM shift change, and followed the narrow foot trail down to

Marshall’s roof. After putting on the night vision goggles, he braced himself against either side of the chimney, and made his way into Marshall’s cabin.

The chimney led into a living room populated by four couches that formed a square around a round table. There was a lot of shelving built into the walls, most of which contained books, blueprints, and maps.

There was no television, but a transistor radio, and a CB radio sat next to each other. Most of the books were non-fiction selections about war, survival, and legendary leaders. Cantare knew that if he lived in this shitty little cabin, and was forced to use the series of outhouses lining the street, he would shoot himself out of boredom and disgust inside of a month.

A long counter separated the living room from the kitchen, and past the kitchen was a short hallway that would lead to the bedroom. Cantare turned the door knob and pulled the door open only a few inches.

He examined the room and his eyes were instantly drawn to the thin wire stretching across the door about five inches off the ground. Once he discerned that the wire wasn’t connect to the door in any way, he opened it wider, stepped over the wire, and into the bedroom.

Due to his earlier surveillance, Cantare knew that Marshall always slept alone which only made his job that much easier. He stood at the side of Marshall’s bed for a few moments, taking a look around. He pushed away a small sense of disappointment when he told himself that it was the easiest five million dollars he’d ever made.

Finally, he took out the rag and soaked it in chloroform. He pressed it firmly against Marshall’s mouth, and squeezed his nostrils shut at the same time. He held tight for four minutes, before finally taking a pulse and confirming that this wannabe savior was indeed dead.

Not being in any particular hurry, Cantare stood over his latest victim for a few minutes before leaving the bedroom, and closing the door behind him. He made his way back to – and up – the chimney, and was on the foot trail in minutes.

He made it up to the snow mobile, where his camp was already packed up, and tied to the back of the vehicle. After cutting his ways through the darkness, Cantare pushed the snow mobile up the ramp into the van, and drove off into the night.

He planned to drive the van back to his home which was located just north of San Francisco. He had installed a fireproof sub-cellar where he disposed of vehicles and other unneeded objects. Though he figured he’d keep the snow mobile, as it promised some future use – either personal or professional.

Cantare had driven less than two miles down the highway from where he had hidden the van when his plan took a hit. The engine of the van began to smoke and eventually just stopped. Cantare was skilled in many things – including mechanics – but what he found under the hood could not be fixed, only replaced. He considered what options he may have, including how far the snow mobile could take him, but finally decided that his options were nonexistent.

Using his map, Cantare found the nearest town to be Hillbrook, Wyoming. He called the local mechanic with one of his burner phones, and requested a tow. After an hour’s wait, Cantare spotted the tow truck approaching. It stopped in-front of the van and the driver, a tall, thick-bellied man in his late-forties stepped out. He wore a heavy flannel coat and a ball cap that read Jay’s Auto Stop as he walked up to Cantare.

“You must be the fella that called me,” the man said.

“I must be,” Cantare replied coldly.

“I tell ya what,” the man started. “It’s a good thing that I live in my shop. I’d hate to think that you’d have to stay out here all night.”

“My lucky night I suppose,” Cantare replied. “If you live in your shop, I’m guessing that you’re Jay.”

“That I am, sir,” Jay answered. “And you are?”

“Cantwell,” Cantare lied. “Adam Cantwell.”

“Well Mr. Cantwell, let’s see what we got here,” the man said as he approached the hood of the van.

Cantare walked up behind the man, and he felt his pistol in its holster at the small of his back. He thought about putting one in the back of Jay’s head, taking his tow truck to the next town past Hillbrook, and securing another vehicle that could get him to an airport. But he quickly thought better of it, as it’s hard to be inconspicuous in a tow truck with Jay’s Auto Shop spray painted in lime green on both doors.

“Transition’s definitely shot,” Jay deduced.

“Have you got what you need at your shop to get it up and running tonight?” Cantare asked.

“I’m afraid that I do not,” Jay said regrettably. “I’ll have to order the part from Jackson Hole.”

“How long will it take to get the part?” asked Cantare.

“Day or two at most. As long as they have it in stock,” replied Jay.

Cantare, annoyed by this response, briefly considered shooting Jay again. But, ultimately, thought better of it.

“You came from Hillbrook, right?” Cantare asked.

“Yep.”

“They got a motel there?”

“Don’t really get enough visitors for a motel. Got a bed & breakfast though.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

“I think you’re in for a treat. Helen Delaney runs the place, and she makes a heckuva an omelet.”

“That sounds,” Cantare started as he caressed the handle of his pistol again. “Just fine, Jay.”

“You wanna ride with me?” Jay asked.

“How far is it?” countered Cantare.

“’Bout twenty minutes.”

“You know what, I think I’ll stay in my van. I have some important items in there.”

“You can bring ‘em with you into the truck if you like.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Your call.”

Jay hooked up the van to his tow truck, as Cantare climbed behind the wheel of his vehicle. As the truck began pulling the van, Cantare placed his

hand on the duffle bag containing the Senator’s payment. Five million dollars for a cakewalk job and a layover in bumblefuck Wyoming seeming fair enough to him.

HILLBROOK I:

SHERIFF CLARENCE BARNES

Hillbrook, Wyoming – population 452 – was not what Sheriff Clarence Barnes had envisioned when he began his career in law enforcement. He was, in fact, offered his desired post as a homicide detective nearly seven years prior. He was younger than most detectives at the time, but was offered his shield when he ended the rampage of a notorious serial killer.

The man who the media dubbed The Brute had murdered seven girls between the ages of sixteen and nineteen-years-old. He was given the name because his method of murder was always blunt force trauma to the head and neck of his victims. The nightmare lasted just over a month before Barnes, then just a patrolman, had stumbled upon The Brute and his latest victim.

A stand-off that seemed to last an eternity in Barnes’ mind, and a full magazine of bullets later, The Brute was dead. Detective John Fern was the lead investigator on the case and, upon his endorsement, Barnes was offered the title of homicide detective.

Interview requests came through en masse on a daily basis, and every newspaper headline ran a photo of Barnes with the word Hero nearby. It was Clarence Barnes’ time to shine, but instead he merely faded

into the infinite blackness that he had seen in The Brute’s eyes.

After being given some time off, and turning down every interviewer who came to his door, Barnes had come to a decision. He decided that he did not want to spend the rest of his life staring into that deep void of a killer’s mind.

Perhaps he once thought that he could face it down, and bring justice to the dead. But he had a wife, a young daughter, and another child on the way. So, when Clarence Barnes offered his resignation, Detective John Fern once again offered his help. Only this time it was in the form of advice.

Detective Fern had told Barnes about the town where he’d grown up: A small, quiet village called Hillbrook. The fact that it was located in Wyoming gave Barnes pause, as he and his wife had grown up in cities and suburbs. He was afraid that the mountains and wide-open spaces would hit them with culture shock.

But Fern assured him that Hillbrook was more of a suburb than anything else, and he still had people back there who would gladly give Barnes a post. Fern finished his pitch by telling him that he would always have a spot waiting for him with the LAPD.

Barnes had a long conversation with his wife, Diana, about the opportunity. And while she was reluctant to leave the life they knew behind, she also believed that her husband needed this. She had met Clarence in high school and, in that time, he had never once asked something for himself. He was a strong and independent man who was not accustomed to asking for help.

She had seen the change in him since he faced down The Brute. The way the weight of his experience bore down upon him. Clarence had taken on a case that was very personal to him afterward, but this only proved to be the final handful of dirt on the grave of their lives in Los Angeles. And so, they packed up their modest apartment and drove a U-Haul van out to Wyoming.

When they arrived in Hillbrook they were greeted by Mayor Bob Phillips and other local leaders. This welcoming committee was comprised mostly of the local shop owners. Beyond the town leaders were the other residents of Hillbrook, the total amount of which added up to less people that most of the parades that the Barnes family had attended in Los Angeles.

“Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!” Mayor Phillips said, as he vigorously shook Clarence’s hand.

“Or should I say Sheriff and Mrs. Barnes?”

“You must be Mayor Phillips,” Barnes replied.

“Indeed, I am,” Phillips confirmed. “But please, call me Bob.”

“Then you’ll have to call me Clarence.”

“I sure will,” Mayor Phillips smiled. “Johnny Fern told me some wonderful things about you.”

“He’s a good man,” Barnes followed.

“He said the same of you,” Mayor Phillips then turned his eyes to Clarence’s wife and daughter.

“Bob, this is my wife Diana,” Barnes started. “Diana, this is Mayor Bob Phillips.”

“A pleasure Mr. Mayor,” Diana said as she took his outstretched hand.

“The pleasure is all mine ma’am,” Mayor Phillips countered, and then turned his eyes towards their five-year-old daughter. “And who is this lovely young lady?”

“This is Debbie,” Diana said. “Debbie, say hello to the mayor.”

“Hello, sir,” Debbie said, while holding her mother’s leg.

“Welcome to Hillbrook, sweetheart,” Mayor Phillips greeted. “And I see we’re to have another new resident soon,” he said, as he winked at the visibly pregnant Diana.

Diana nodded and laughed softly.

“Well, come on,” Mayor Phillips continued. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

The Barnes family followed the mayor into the crowd, where they were met by the shop owners first, and the other residents shortly afterwards.

 Hillbrook was almost a literal one-stoplight town. The center of town amounted to two main roads – Main Street and Hillbrook Avenue – that met at a four-way intersection. Main Street ran north to south, and so above the intersection was called North Main Street, while below was South Main Street. Hillbrook Avenue ran east to west and so was broken up into East Hillbrook Avenue and West Hillbrook Avenue.

All of the shops ran along one of these two roads, as did the Town Hall and the Sheriff’s Station. At the top of North Main Street sat Helen Delaney’s Bed & Breakfast. Walking south from the bed & breakfast one could find a number of shops that

included the local book shop, grocery store, hardware store, bakery, and clothing shop. At the south end one could find the town pub which was owned by Lenny Macklin, and Jay’s Auto Shop.

Town Hall and the Sheriff’s Station sat next to each other at easternmost point of East Hillbrook Avenue. Stretching west were the hair salon, diner, pharmacy, and other shops that culminated on the far west end of West Hilbrook Avenue with Doctor Walter Fahey’s office. The fact was that a person could walk from the top of North Main Street to the bottom of South Main Street – or from the end of East Hillbrook Ave to the end of West Hillbrook Avenue – in just over fifteen minutes.

There was no local schoolhouse, as all of the town’s children would attend the schools located in the next nearest town. Pineville was about a twenty-minute drive down the highway, and was a much larger town. There they had larger public schools, a hospital, department stores, a movie theater, and all the other general necessities. 

The homes lay beyond Main Street and Hillbrook Avenue, surrounding them almost as one would circle the wagons to fend off an attack by the natives. This was, in fact, the original settlers’ intention. The ends of North and South Main Street fed into exits where people could pull in from, or out to, the highway. The East and West points of Hillbrook Avenue led to the homes of the citizens.

The domestic areas of Hillbrook formed a circle around the center of town, breaking only at the highway entrances. The homes themselves rested on small roads which stemmed out from East and West

Hillbrook Avenue, and all ended in cul-de-sacs. There was also a narrow walkway and fence that encircled the center of town behind the shops, and separated it from the housing areas. 

Out past the houses were the mountains, which rose gloriously and penetrated the clear, blue sky. As sheriff, Clarence Barnes was given a home located off of East Hillbrook Avenue. Barnes could, in fact, see the Sheriff’s Station from his bedroom window.

The house was a good sized, three-bedroom, two-bathroom construction. The living room had broad windows on three sides and lead directly into a new refurnished kitchen. There was a cellar, den, attic, and one bathroom on each floor. The stairway led to an upstairs hallway with one bedroom on either end, and a third bedroom across from the upstairs bathroom.

Clarence and Diana felt guilty at first, but those feelings were assuaged by the mayor’s claim that since Sheriff Barnes was going to keep their town safe, the least they could do was put a roof over his head. Before long, their new lives were laid out before them.

He and his wife would still read the news from L.A. on a daily basis, but they had settled nicely into this life. Debbie and her younger brother Brian, both attended the schools in Pineville, and racked up good grades on every report card. While Diana had taken a job as a middle school teacher in Pineville.

Clarence shared the Sheriff’s Station with his two deputies: Craig Marx and Tom Oswalt. Deputy Marx had come from a military background, and was a young man who took his post very seriously.

 Meanwhile, Deputy Oswalt was a local kid whose family had lived in Hillbrook for four generations. Oswalt had an easy way about him, and would spend most of his day at the station monitoring the radio. Barnes had figured that, if he were ever in a firefight, he’s rather have two Deputy Marxes with him. But since this was Hillbrook, he felt comfortable enough with the mild-mannered, if sometime lazy, Deputy Oswalt.

Sheriff Barnes began this day, as he did all his others, at 6 AM sharp. The alarm clock beeped, so he rolled out of bed and into the shower. By the time he was finished with his morning grooming routine Diana would be awake and preparing breakfast for Clarence and the kids.

Breakfast and dinner were the only times of the day that the entire family was able to sit together, and so they always used these opportunities to catch up.  Debbie’s twelfth birthday was coming up soon, and she had invited many of her friends over for it.

“So how many are we expecting on Saturday?” Barnes asked his daughter.

“All of them,” Debbie smiled slyly.

“That sounds like an awful lot,” Barnes smiled back.

“I think it’s going to end up being fifteen in all, hon,” Diana chimed in. “Does that sound right?”

“I guess so,” Debbie replied.

“What time is this shindig set to start?” Barnes asked.

“I wrote noon on the invitations,” his wife answered.

“Is there gonna be cake?” Brian chirped.

“Well, is there?” The sheriff asked his daughter with a sideways grin.

“There’d better be,” Debbie playfully warned.

“There will be,” said Diana, as she leaned over to her son. “A big, ice cream cake.”

“Yes!” Brian yelled with a fist pump.

“I ought to get on my beat,” Barnes said, as he checked his watch. “And you ought to get to school.”

“Boo!” Debbie said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yah, boo!” Brian followed his sister’s lead, as he often did.

“Yeah, yeah,” the sheriff chuckled before standing up and kissing both of his children on the forehead.

“Book club tonight?” he asked as he leaned in to kiss his wife.

“Every Wednesday and Friday,” she replied.

“And today is Friday, isn’t it?” Barnes said with a smirk. “Now that I think about it, I have some paperwork to catch up on at the office tonight,” he finished

“Why is it that you always have paperwork to catch up on Wednesdays and Fridays?” Diana asked with a grin as she kissed her husband.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Answered Barnes. “But at least you have your book club friends to keep you company on those evenings.”

“What luck,” Diana smiled.

“Alright, love you all,” the sheriff said as he pulled on his coat. “Have a good day.”

“You too, daddy,” Debbie and Brian called.

“Love you, baby,” Diana added, as Clarence put his hat on and walked out the door.

Sheriff Barnes’ first stop was always the Sheriff’s Station, where he unlocked the door and checked his phone for messages. There never were any, as all the townspeople knew his home phone number and would call him there if they needed him during the night.

In the years that he had lived in Hillbrook, Barnes figured he could count the number of night calls he’d gotten on his fingers. And half of those had come from Cassidy Wells, a troubled young woman whose home he would sometimes visit when neighbors called in domestic disturbances.

Cassidy had a very volatile relationship with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, an ex-convict who lived in Pineville named Jake Campbell. Barnes would arrive with one of his deputies in tow and ask Jake to leave. They would always get some tough backtalk, but only ever had to put the man in lock-up on two occasions.

On this March morning there were no messages, as usual, so Barnes logged onto the office computer and catch up with the news of the world. A few minutes before eight, Deputy Oswalt arrived at the stationhouse. He and Deputy Marx would alternate morning and evening shifts on a week-by-week basis.

“Good morning, sheriff,” Oswalt offered.

“Morning, Tom,” Barnes replied as he stood up from his desk. 

“Warm out there today,” Oswalt said.

“Tell that to the snow piles sitting at the curbs.”

“I would if I thought they’d listen.”

“How’s Nancy?” Barnes asked about Oswalt’s girlfriend.

“Restless.”

“Then spring must be in the air.”

“She’s going on about moving back to Seattle again.”

Nancy had grown up in Seattle, and liked to visit some friends there every few months.

“And why are you so opposed to the idea?” Barnes asked.

“I’m not opposed to the idea,” Oswalt replied, and hung his coat on the rack next to the front desk. “But every time I ask about openings on Seattle PD they give me a brush-off.”

“What about working some sort of security job in the area?”

“I suppose I could go that route,” Oswalt said unconvincingly. “But this is my home.”

“Any chance of Nancy moving there without you?”

“I don’t want to think about that. But sometimes the thought creeps in anyway.”

Sheriff Barnes walked up to his deputy and put his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying home is where the heart is,” Barnes began. “But some people believe that the heart is your home.”

“Not sure I follow, sheriff.”

“Think about it,” Barnes said as he started towards the door. “I’m off to do my morning rounds.”

The sheriff walked out the door as Oswalt sat at the front desk, still contemplating his words.

Piles of snow leaned against the curb, but both the sidewalk and the street were clear. Barnes took a deep breath and realized that Oswalt was right about it being unseasonably warm. He turned to start his walk towards the center of town when he spotted a man walking in from the highway.

The man looked to be about the same age as Barnes, but his face was pale and obscured by a week’s worth of scruff and dark hair that hung down to his eyes. He carried a long, military-style duffle bag over his shoulder and offered the sheriff a polite nod as he passed by on the other side of the street.

Clarence Barnes was not a paranoid man, but any person who would actually walk into an out-of-the-way town like Hillbrook merited further consideration. He watched the man walk into the diner, before shifting his focus back onto his normal routine.

His first stop after the station was always Jay’s Auto Shop, and then he’d work his way north on Main Street. As Barnes began walking towards the auto shop, he noticed an unfamiliar white van sitting in the garage. This meant there were two new people in town this morning and, while the sheriff wasn’t concerned yet, he decided to make introductions his first priority.

     HILLBROOK I:

URIEL

For as long as he could remember, Uriel had not gotten a full night’s sleep. As it turned out, the earliest memories that he had were from little more than a year ago. So, as far as he knew, this was a fairly recent development.

It had been just before dawn that Uriel had awoken in an empty loft in Queens, NY. When he put his hand to his aching head, he felt blood running down from just below his hair line. He sat up and, as his blurred vision cleared, he saw a web of cracks radiating outwardly from a small hole in one of the windows. As he got to his knees, he saw the girl across the room from him.

She was on her back under the broken window, and she was lying in a pool of blood. He crawled over to her and found that one side of her neck was torn open. It was from this wound that the blood flowed. He leaned over her and placed his ear to her mouth to listen for breathing. The breaths he heard were shallow and slight, but enough for him to take off his shirt and use it to press down on the wound.

He frantically began looking around the loft for a phone. As he was looking back towards the side of the room where he had woken up, the girl reached up and touched his cheek.

“Oh God!” he said to himself. “I’m going to get you help.”

“Uriel,” the girl gurgled. “I’m sorry.”

“Just stay still,” he instructed. “I need to find a phone.”

“We were so close,” the girl whispered. “So close.”

Her eyes turned from his face and settled on a far corner of the loft.

“Hey,” he said to the girl. “Hey!”

He lowered his ear to her mouth, but there were no more breaths. He then tried taking her pulse at her wrist, but felt nothing there either. It was as he sat back on the floor, a few feet away from the body, that he had a moment to collect his thoughts.

The problem was that he had no thoughts, or memories, from before he woke up in this loft. He checked his pockets, and even the girl’s, but found no ID’s for either of them. As he looked throughout the room he found no phone, no furniture, and no extra clothing other than a long black duster crumpled up on the floor near where he had been lying.

He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. The wound on his head appeared to be a deep gash that covered half of his face in blood. He turned on the faucet and washed the blood off of his hands and face, but his undershirt remained soaked in the girl’s blood.

“Who are you?” he asked of the stranger staring back at him. “Who is she? What are you doing here?”

He looked with pleading eyes, only to receive no response. She had called him Uriel, and the name

seemed somehow familiar to him. But no other answers were forthcoming.

Uriel decided that he would call the police from a payphone outside and wait for their arrival. On his way towards the door, he picked up the black duster and was shocked at what he found lying beneath it.

It was a sort of black harness that looked like it would be strapped to the back of its wearer. In the center of the harness, he saw a sword with a twenty -inch blade and a black handle. Towards the end of the sword blade, he saw two knives with curved, eight-inch blades. Their black handles were pointed in the opposite direction of the sword’s.

There were also two belts that looked too short to reach around the waist, and were more likely meant to be worn around the thighs. Each of these belts held four throwing knives.

Horror flooded his mind, as these objects also seemed familiar and yet alien to him. He instinctively dropped the duster when the thought stabbed at his mind that he may have killed the girl.

“No,” he said aloud to himself. “No, no, no!”

He looked again at the broken window and deduced that it looked like a bullet hole. He picked up the duster and took a closer look at the weapons. They all appeared to be clean, with no evidence of blood, which caused him to reconsider his guilt.

But he was still in an empty loft wearing blood-drenched clothing, with a dead girl, a cache of weapons, and absolutely no memory. He put the duster on, picked up the harness and knife belts, and turned to the girl’s body.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he walked out the door.

Uriel was relieved when he saw no one else in the hallway, and quickly made his way to the stairwell. He kept the harness and knives hidden under his coat as he walked to a payphone across the street. An anonymous call was made to 9-1-1 before he ran off into the night.   

He tossed the harness and weapons into a dumpster across town, and began looking for clean clothes. In-front of one apartment building’s stoop, he found three garbage bags with a Veterans Donation pamphlet taped to them.

Grabbing one of the bags, he ducked into an alley and changed out of his bloody clothes. He left the bag with the rest of the clothes behind, as he realized that he would have to hitchhike out of the city, and no one was likely to pick up a man carrying a garbage bag. He eventually procured a ride from a truck driver in Long Island City, who took him as far as Westchester. 

That night, he found a spot in a park to sleep in, and with that sleep came the nightmare. It begins in a darkened cathedral with a choir of angels singing words in childlike voices words that have no meaning to Uriel. A light begins to emanate from a crucifix in the dimness, and on the crucifix hangs the girl from the loft. The crucifix grows larger, and the light brighter as it floats closer to him, and finally settles on the ground an arm’s length away.

The girl brings her arms to her side, and then lowers her feet to the floor. As she settles before him, she reaches her hands out and touches his face. There

is comfort in the touch, and warmth, as she gently smiles and speaks to him.

 “We will be free,” she whispers. “We will be us.”

As Uriel returns the touch, the girl lowers her hands to his neck. As her fingers graze the skin by his throat, a wound opens on her neck. A stream of blood begins flowing from where her wound is. Yet the girl continues to smile at him. As he reaches out to her, his arms are bound to wooden planks by leather straps.

The girl continues to smile and bleed, as a man dressed in flowing white robes appears from behind Uriel. The man holds large nails and a mallet in his hands as he walks to Uriel’s side. Soon the man begins nailing Uriel’s wrists to the plank, and though there is blood, there is no pain. After the man in the flowing robes is finished, Uriel’s arms are pulled away from his body and it is he who is upon the crucifix.

 He looks to the girl for help, even as she turns effervescent and is blown away like smoke. The crucified Uriel is then lifted towards the ceiling of the cathedral as the childlike voices are transformed into deep, thundering chants. The crucifix breaks through the top of the cathedral, but the sky is black and starless.

Then fires burst forth from below Uriel, and the demons come. Their faces are grotesque masks, the hideousness of which cause Uriel to vomit forth his heart, lungs, and stomach. They open their gaping maws and, from behind the slobbering fangs, they emit howls that pierce Uriel’s ears.

The demons are soon upon the captive man, gnawing at his flesh. Fresh blood flows from Uriel’s

arms and pool in the palms of his hands. Winds begin to swirl around him, whipping the flames into a frenzy. The blood in Uriel’s hands begins to spin as well, and soon he holds knife-sized tornadoes of blood. The blood tornados spin faster, and grow larger with each passing moment. They soon engulf the demons and the flames, causing the demons to melt and howl in agony. Then the blood saturates and kills the flames, before ascending to the heavens. With a rain of blood falling upon him, Uriel smiles.

He is jolted awake each time the dream ends, but his heartbeat is steady. It is only when he thinks back onto the dream that his heart begins to pound in his chest. The dream comes to him almost every night.

A ravenous hunger ripped at his belly on the first morning, but with no money he was forced to steal from a nearby convenience store.

The first few weeks involved Uriel walking west, though he did not know why, stealing when he was hungry, and sleeping in places where he would not be found. He would be alone at all times, only interacting with other people when the situation demanded it. Eventually, after a month of not regaining any memories of himself or his life, he decided to relinquish his frustration and accept his lot.

The girl had called him Uriel, and so that was what he called himself. As he journeyed from town-to-town he would take odd jobs, as he tired of stealing. He was in exceptionally good physical shape, so manual labor came easily to him.

He would not stay for more than a few days in each town, and used his earnings only for food, motels, and sometimes clothing from thrift stores.

Several times he had tried to pass out from drinking in hopes that it would offer a peaceful slumber, but he could not escape the nightmare.

It was difficult for him to maintain conversations, as he felt unable to find any common ground with anyone. Despite this, he had a handsome face, and a calm, quiet demeanor. So, it was not especially difficult to find people willing to offer him menial work.

Time held no real meaning for Uriel, but he was aware of the fact that when he arrived in Pineville, Wyoming it was nearly a year to the day that he had woken up in that Queens loft. There was no work to be found there, and he had spent the majority of his money on the motel that night.

With a pocketful of change, he left the motel and continued his sojourn. The sun was still new to the sky when he left Pineville, so there weren’t many vehicles on the highway that he was walking down. By the time the traffic flow had picked up, he was already finding signs that told him of a town within walking distance.

When he entered Hillbrook, he could tell that there wasn’t going to be any work to be found here either. It also seemed like the kind of place where any outsiders would be very warily received. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw the town sheriff standing across the street from him, watching him like a hawk. Wanting to avoid any trouble, Uriel nodded politely and continued towards the center of town.

He came upon a diner, and decided to get some food before looking around for a ride out of town.

 The diner was shaped like a train car and had booths lining the street-facing windows. When he walked in, there were a few locals sitting in the booths near the door, and so he walked to the far end of the diner and sat three booths away from the next nearest patrons. He began flipping through the menu, searching for the cheapest items.

He counted only one waitress and a fry cook working, the former coming towards his booth from behind the counter. She was in her mid-twenties, and wearing a pair of blue jeans, a pink shirt with white piping, and a white apron. Her name tag, pinned over her left breast pocket, read Lisa.She tied her long black hair into a ponytail before she took her small notepad out of her apron pocket.

“Good morning, sir,” the waitress greeted him.

“Good morning,” he replied.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” she continued.

“I’m just passing through,” he said.

“Well, what can I get you before you pass through?” She asked with a smile.

“Um, toast please,” he responded. “And some water and coffee.”

“Light eater?” She asked.

“Something like that,” he replied as he reached into his coat pocket and felt only three dollars plus a random assortment of coins.

“Right,” said the waitress as she walked back behind the counter and gave the fry cook the order.

While he waited for his food, Uriel looked out the window and down the street. People were opening up their shops, and cars were driving out of town. It occurred to him that he had mistimed his

arrival, and would now have a hard time finding a ride.

After a few minutes longer, he saw the sheriff walking across the street.

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she slid a plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast towards him.

“Uh, this isn’t my order,” he told her.

“Your order wasn’t much of an order,” the waitress replied. “So, I spruced it up.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough to pay for all this,” he said.

“It’s on me,” she said. “Call it a Passer-Through Special.”

“You’re very kind,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“I’m Lisa,” she extended her hand.

“Uriel,” he replied as he took her hand.

“That’s an unusual name,” she said as she sat in the booth across from him.

“I guess,” Uriel said, slightly startled by her casual familiarity.

“Is it a family name?”

“Could be.”

“You’re pretty non-committal, aren’t you?”

“I suppose,” he said, and was met by a single raised eyebrow. “I mean yes, I am.”

“So where are you from?” She continued.

Uriel stretched his neck to look past her at the other diner customers.

“Don’t worry about them,” Lisa said. “They’re fine.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You were telling me where you were from.”

“Around.”

“I’ve been to Around,” Lisa stated. “Good public school system.”

A chuckle escaped from Uriel, it was the first genuine laugh he could remember.

“Listen Lisa, I feel bad about eating this without paying.”

“You haven’t eaten it yet.”

“But I will.”

“Just as soon as I leave, right?”

“Probably,” his answer was met with another raised eyebrow. “I mean yes, I will.”

He looked out the window and saw the sheriff approaching the door.

“Is there anything I can do here to earn it?”

“We used to have a dishwasher, but yesterday he quit, and left town,” she replied. “Real drama queen that guy was.”

“I can wash dishes,” Uriel stated.

“I should hope so,” she craned her neck towards the fry cook. “Hey Gene, this guy wants to be our new dishwasher. That cool?”

“I don’t give a shit!” Gene called back as he continued preparing food.

“Gene says it’s okay,” Lisa said to Uriel.

“Thank you, sir,” Uriel called to Gene.

“Whatever,” Gene replied.

“So, I guess we’re colleagues now,” Lisa said with a smile, as Sheriff Barnes walked up behind her.

“Hey Lisa,” Barnes said.

“Good morning, sheriff,” Lisa said as she turned towards him. “Getcha a coffee?”

“Please,” Barnes replied.

“We’ll talk more later,” Lisa said to Uriel, before she walked over to the counter once again.

“Sheriff Clarence Barnes,” he said as he extended his hand.

“Uriel,” he replied as he took Barnes’ hand and started to rise.

“No need to get up,” Barnes said. “Mind if I join you?”

With his free hand, Uriel gestured to the seat across from him, and Sheriff Barnes took the seat.

Lisa returned with the sheriff’s coffee as he took off his hat and laid it on the seat next to him.

“Here ya go,” Lisa said as she set it in-front of him.

“Thank you, Lisa,” Barnes replied as Lisa remained standing next to them. “Thank you, Lisa.”

Lisa rolled her eyes, and then went back to the counter where she began flipping through a magazine.

“First off, welcome to Hillbrook.” Barnes began, as Uriel took the first bite of his breakfast.

“Thank you.”

“Secondly, what’s your business in Hillbrook?”

“No business, sheriff,” Uriel started. “I’m just passing through.”

“On your way to where, exactly?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

“Just drifting by?”

“I suppose.”

“Which makes you a drifter.”

“I suppose.”

“Listen Uriel, this is a nice little town,” Barnes said. “And I don’t like trouble in my nice little town.”

“I don’t like trouble in-general, sheriff,” Uriel replied. “Which is why I try to avoid it.”

“And you’ve been pretty good at that?”

“So far.”

“Then let’s keep it that way.”

“Not a problem.”

“Good,” Barnes took a sip of his coffee. “Anytime you need a ride out of town, I’d be happy to oblige.”

“I might take you up on that offer.”

“Then we understand each other, Uriel?”

“We do.”

“Good,” Barnes stood up and took his coffee to the counter. “Lisa, can I please get this in a to-go cup?”

“Of course you can,” Lisa said as she poured it into a styrofoam cup.

“Thanks,” he said as he picked up the cup. “You all read up for book club tonight?”

“I watched the movie.”

“That’s cheating.”

“I know,” Lisa smiled. “Don’t tell Diana.”

“My lips are sealed,” Barnes smiled back. “Have a good one, Gene.”

“Whatever,” Gene called back.

Barnes took another look at Uriel and then took his leave. Lisa then walked back over, and leaned down onto Uriel’s booth.

“Don’t worry about him,” she said. “He’s playing a hard-ass, but he’s a big puppy dog inside.”

“He was just doing his job,” Uriel said as he took another bite. “Keeping his town safe. I respect that.”

“Then I will respect your right to eat in peace,” she said as she straightened up and turned back towards the counter.”

“Lisa,” Uriel said, stopping her. “Thanks again.”

Lisa winked at him, then went back behind the counter, and began scrolling through her phone, as Uriel continued eating his breakfast.

Orphans is available for buying or borrowing now on Amazon and for Amazon Kindle.

Reacher And The Catharsis Of Comeuppance

I’ll open by admitting that I’m not overly familiar with the character of Jack Reacher. I never read Lee Childs’ novels and, while I saw the first Tom Cruise movie when it was released, I can’t say I’ve ever given a second thought or was ever really motivated to watch the sequel.

Going by the marketing material, my big question regarding Amazon Prime’s new show was whether it would be a Western or a “Corruption Runs Deep” style thriller? The two genres (or sub-genres, I suppose) are very different styles generally meant to elicit very different emotional and intellectual responses. The corrupt system thrillers tend to end on a less-satisfying note, where the protagonists may win some battles but never the war as power is the ultimate shield. Think of something like the first season of True Detective or the Red Riding Trilogy. Whereas Westerns are more likely to end with a big shootout that leaves all the bad guys dead regardless of rank or station. Since I get my fill of crooked power brokers getting away with everything in the daily news feed, I tend to prefer the Westerns.

Spoiler Warning for season 1 of Reacher on Amazon Prime

Reacher’s set-up could have leaned either way. We had a small town with a big conspiracy running through its rotten core that was spearheaded by the mayor, the wealthiest citizen, and basically the entire (admittedly small) police force. On top of that, there was a seemingly endless supply of nameless gunmen popping up once or twice every episode. There was horrific torture and execution-style murders intended to tie up any possible threats or loose ends. And there were two good cops with massive odds stacked against them, as they tried to bring justice to their town.

Enter the mysterious stranger riding in. At that point, which occurred in the first few minutes of the first episode, I got the feeling that this show was skewing Western. Jack Reacher is presented as a man who can physically handle any opponent, and was mentally up to the task of pulling case leads out of the smallest of details. I’ve heard him referred to as “Swole-ock Holmes” a few times, and that seems about right.

Reacher arrives without any strings or attachments. Though it is soon revealed that the first (of many) murder victims was his brother. He also forms a bond with the aforementioned good cops Detective Finley and Officer Conklin. Outside of that, though, he’s a hyper-capable murder machine with nothing to lose and a strong moral code. This is what makes him a great avatar for the audience. He’s just a flat-out bad ass who will not stop until he kills every person responsible for his brother’s murder and – by extension – the conspiracy.

Consider this one extra Spoiler Warning


By the end of the first season Reacher, along with Finley and Conklin, accomplish their goal. They do, in fact, kill every person involved in the conspiracy and the murders. Even the mayor and the millionaire end up in body bags. This is the sort of catharsis that I was looking for during my weeklong binge. Oftentimes, in shows of this nature, the people at the top of the conspiracy food chain either escape without consequence, or suffer the sort of consequence that the rich and powerful tend to suffer in the real world. To put it shortly – The closest we get to justice is little more than causing them an inconvenience.

Here is the best review that I can give Reacher: The writing is fine, the acting is pretty good, the directing is standard action TV stuff. The fight choreography is exceptional, and really makes you believe that Jack Reacher could beat the living daylights out of a roomful of bad dudes. In the end, though, seeing that hulking brainiac call his shot, and then hit his shot (many, many shots, if we’re being honest) was about the most satisfying piece of entertainment for me in 2022 so far. If you have eight hours to spare, and you want to watch justice being served with flying fists and hot lead, then go check out Reacher.

Star Wars X And The Promised Future Of A Galaxy Far, Far Away

It’s been almost exactly one year since I posted about my grievances with Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker. Not much has happened in our favorite far, far away galaxy since then besides than The Book Of Boba Fett being a bit of a disappointment until it just turned into The Mandalorian Season 2.5 for the final three episodes. I had meant to do a follow-up post with my own pitch for the eventual Star Wars Episode X, but I hadn’t gotten around to it yet. So, here I am finally getting around to it.

For my starting point, I’m looking at the fact that the new Star Wars brain trust of Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni are spending a lot of time and resources in the unexplored period of time between Return Of The Jedi and The Force Awakens. My thinking is that they are trying to lay a sturdier groundwork for the future than the nostalgic quicksand that the sequel trilogy was built on. This may be optimistic, or I may just be way off the mark, but I’m choosing to believe there is a master plan in-place (again, unlike for the sequel trilogy).

My Star Wars X pitch starts – unsurprisingly – with Grogu. The most adorable little green dude in the galaxy would be in his 80’s when we come to the time after Rise Of Skywalker. My alien aging estimates are an imperfect science, but if 50 year-old Grogu acts a bit like a 5 year-old, then 80 year-old would make him about 8 years-old. I’m going to skew up a bit here, since Grogu would be a more functional lead character if he was behaving more like a 12-or-13-year-old. For the record – he is fully verbally communicating by this time, and not in a backward, Yoda manner either. In my mind he’s voiced by a Daniel Radcliffe or Tom Holland type.

In my mind, by the end of The Mandalorian’s run, Din Djarin is ruler of the planet Mandalore. He claimed the throne by wielding the Darksaber and by winning the trust and respect of his allies. Bo-Katan Kryze will still be involved, as she was a big part in helping Djarin’s rebuilding efforts. Both Djarin and Bo-Katan would be in their 60’s, and so vital enough to play the parts they are needed for. Grogu, as Djarin’s adopted son, was by his father’s side through the entire endeavor. This is why neither played a factor in the events of the sequel trilogy, and the war against the First Order.

Grogu has embraced his Mandalorian heritage, but he has also been training himself in the ways of the Jedi. Ahsoka Tano has helped him a bit along the way, but Grogu’s training has mostly been a personal journey. As he becomes more attuned to The Force, Grogu senses something dark and extremely dangerous growing in power. I’m not sure what this thing is, exactly, but it is absolutely not another Galactic Empire Wannabe, and it’s also not Sith-related. It’s something new and very old at the same time. Grogu feels the need to confront this emerging evil but, since he is still not what could be considered an adult, Djarin will not let his son fly out to face it alone.

Not really being able to hold his own in combat any longer – and having a planet to run – Djarin reaches out to their old friend Ahsoka Tano to accompany Grogu. Ahsoka, by this point, has been traveling for a while with fellow Jedi Ezra Bridger (rescued during the run of Ahsoka’s own show) and Mandalorian Sabine Wren (who helped with the aforementioned rescuing). I’m again speculating on the aging process of aliens, but Ahsoka will be fairly unchanged from the version we’ve seen in The Mandalorian and The Book Of Boba Fett. Ezra and Sabine may both middle-aged at this point but, for the most part, still in their primes. Grogu joins this crew, and they fly off to find one more powerful ally that they need.

Along their way, they pick up a couple of additional allies in the form of best buddies Poe Dameron and Finn. They’ve been living their best lives since defeating the First Order, but are still game to help out when it seems like trouble is on the rise. They are also more than happy to help the crew find the person they were seeking: Rey Skywalker.

Rey has started her own Jedi Academy on Tatooine where she teaches her students the value of finding balance in The Force, and not simply viewing things in terms of Light Side and Dark Side. When the crew arrives, Rey doesn’t hesitate to leave her star pupil in-charge (you may remember his as Broom Boy from The Last Jedi) as she goes where she is needed to help save the galaxy again. Maybe the whole gang swing into Mos Espa for a round of drinks, and chat with whomever takes over as Daimyo from the recently deceased Boba Feet before jetting off on their journey?

What happens after that? I’m not really sure. Space battles? Bitchin’ lightsaber action? Humorous bickering? Heart-warming discussions about found family? Some important lessons for Grogu as he continues growing into his own? Cool, Star Wars-y stuff like that.

Is evil defeated in Star Wars X? Or does it simply launch a new trilogy? I’m not sure about this either, and it doesn’t really matter to me. The most important thing to me is that the Star Wars Universe begins thriving in the present, rather than dwelling in the past. And that it rushes full-speed ahead to the future that it deserves.

Read The First Three Chapters In The Final Book Of The Venator Series: The Sacrifice

30 Years Ago

Hellfire was notoriously hard to control.

It was a living entity that was only ever meant to obey a single master. But as that master – the King of Hell – used hellfire to create other living beings, his level of control over the substance loosened. Hands other than his own were now able to take the reins.

That was when the mages gained access to it. But only the most skilled could ever hope to wield it without incinerating themselves. With such a risk attached, it was no wonder that only witches and warlocks who worshipped at the altar of Satan ever dared try.

Of course, there were always exceptions. And the exception in this case was a remarkably talented Venator named Allison Luminisa-Halliday.

Allison had been trained by her family – especially noteworthy for its vast, and storied Venator lineage – to master skills that were otherwise utilized by only the most powerful of mages.

The Luminisa bloodline reached back a great many generations and, as far back as anyone could trace, they had always bred Venatores. This was the reason why she had been imparted with wisdom that would be considered terrifyingly dangerous in lesser hands.

Hers may have been the most capable of hands, but even she was never comfortable with spells that involved hellfire, or any other demonic attributes. She only broke those out when there were no other options.

For the case at-hand, their source was a high-level Demonologist who’d reported the sort of harbingers associated with the pending birth of one of Lucifer’s scions. The lead came late, and the reports of a cult in the area followed shortly thereafter. Being short on-time, Allison decided that it was worth the risk involved.

In the spell she’d cast, the ball of hellfire was no bigger than you’d see at the head of a struck match. The light floated out three feet ahead of Allison. It guided her, and her companions, to an old mansion sheltered on all sides by dense woodlands.

Each window had a single candle burning in it, with only darkness surrounding it. But it was the flame hovering directly before her that raised Allison’s concerns.

The small fireball began glowing hotter, and brighter. It was becoming visibly excited as they walked closer to the mansion. It soon began to grow, first to the size of a marble, and then to the size of a tennis ball.

“Extinctus,” said Allison, causing the ball of hellfire to immediately extinguish.

“At least we know this is the right house,” Malcolm Woods said from Allison’s left side.

“Good thing too,” Jack Halliday added from the right side. “It sure would be embarrassing to kick down the door on a bunch of bored rich folks having a Key Party, instead of a Satanic cult birthing the Antichrist.”

“It’d be real freakin’ funny, though,” Malcolm replied, eliciting a laugh from Jack.

“Boys, boys,” Allison said, her eyes never leaving the mansion. “How about we save the laughs for after we deal with whatever we find in there.”

“What are we expecting to find, again?” Malcolm asked.

“Intel says there might be as many as twenty Satanists in there,” Jack answered.

“And one pregnant woman who’s probably hoping this is all a nightmare that she’ll wake up from at any second,” Allison added.

They each pulled out a pistol, unclicked the safety, and chambered a round as they crept closer to the mansion. Once they got close enough, they heard a woman screaming. They then heard a large group of voices chanting.

“Ave Satanus  sublimis patre nostro,” they sang, followed by “Salvator noster veniet!”

The woman’s cries, and the choir’s song, repeated themselves over, and over again.

“I’m sure I’d be super creeped-out right now, if I bothered learning Latin,” Malcolm said, taking his position next to the door leading inside from the backyard.

Hail Satan, our majestic father, our savior is come,” Allison casually translated, moving in behind Jack.

“Yup,” Malcolm said, “super creeped-out.”

Jack picked the lock, slowly pushed the door open, and led the others inside. They stayed low, and close to the walls, as they had on numerous other such raids. The only lights in the long corridor were candles hanging six feet up on the walls.

The screams and chants grew louder as they moved closer to the main dining hall. There was more candlelight coming from within that room, glowing and swaying with the breeze.

By the time Jack got a head count of twenty-one people dressed in red robes, he heard the cries of a newborn. Four cultists held the mother down by her arms and legs, as a fifth wrapped the baby in a red blanket, and held it high for the others to see.

“Hail, our dark savior!” the man holding the child shouted.

“Hail! Hail!” the rest of the congregation shouted in-kind.

“Now, the flesh of the mother of damnation shall be devoured,” the man said. “It will imbue each of us with the divine essence of Lucifer himself!”

Two cultists with meat cleavers rose up from behind the pair holding down the woman’s arms. They lifted the blades, as the new mother stared ahead blankly with exhaustion, too weak to even plead for her life.

Two shots rang out from the doorway, and blood sprayed out from the heads of the robed figures wielding the cleavers as they fell dead.

Allison, her gun still smoking, emerged from the doorway, and fired four more shots into the heads of the cultists holding down the mother. Jack ran out from behind her, and unloaded rounds into the next nearest figures to the captive woman.

“You got her?” Jack asked Allison.

“I got her,” Allison replied, swinging out from behind her husband.

Several people tried to impede her, but Allison easily dispatched them with swift blows to their heads or knees. The ones that reached for her from the ground caught bullets fired at close range. She leapt onto the table, and knelt down close the mother’s ear.

“You’re going to be okay,” she told the woman in a comforting tone, even as she gunned down anyone who approached their position.

But most of the cultists rushed away towards the exit at the other end of the room. They were met by Malcolm, firing rounds, and swinging a pearl-handled hatchet that he’d made for himself recently.  Those who didn’t catch a bullet had their throats slashed by the hatchet blade.

The man holding the baby called for three more people to lead him out through the doorway that Jack was guarding. The three bodyguards rammed themselves into Jack with no concern for their own welfare, driving him into the floor.

They were zealous, but untrained. Jack managed to slip out from underneath them, while holding one  in a headlock. He kicked out the knee of the first cultist who rose from the ground, and shot her through the back of the head before she even hit the ground a second time.

The second cultist managed to get to his feet, and reached for Jack’s neck. But Jack swung the man in his grasp around, sweeping the legs out from the other man who was reaching for him. He fired one round into the falling man’s head, and the other into the top of the headlocked man’s head.

He spotted the red-robed figure with the baby running out the front door, and gave chase. The man was halfway across the yard when Jack took aim, and shouted: “Stop!”

The man did as he was commanded, and slowly turned back toward Jack, who likewise stopped running. He was holding the baby in both arms, but one of his hands was now up around the child’s neck.

“I’ll snap its neck,” the man said, as Jack walked closer to him with his weapon still leveled.

“I don’t think you will,” Jack replied calmly. “How long have you been searching for this? For a bonafide child of Satan born into this world? Half your life? Your entire life?”

“The child has a destiny,” the man said. “This world will kneel before its new Messiah! The armies of Hell will be at the Antichrist’s beck and call!”

“Sure,” Jack said, still moving closer. “Which means that child’s life will not end tonight.”

Jack lowered his gun, and moved within arm’s reach of the man.

“You need to understand something,” Jack began. “You are not leaving this place tonight with that baby. I simply will not allow that to happen. You say it has a destiny, then I’m sure that will come to pass no matter what happens here. And, what’s going to  happen here is very simple: You’re going to hand me that child. Right. Now.”

“Then what will become of me?” the man asked.

“You’re going to jail for kidnapping this child’s mother,” Jack stated. “Consider yourself lucky.”

The man contemplated Jack’s words, and then his eyes took on a hardened gleam. His grip around the child’s neck tightened again, and this time Jack didn’t hesitate to put a bullet in the man’s head.

The man’s hands went limp, and Jack wrapped his free arm around the baby as the dead man fell backward.

The baby was still crying, but became silent as Jack rocked it lightly, cradled in his arm.

“Sorry about all the noise, kiddo,” Jack said to the baby, who looked up at him with curiosity. “Helluva way to come into the world. So to speak.”

Allison emerged from the house, with Malcolm behind her helping the mother to stand.

“Jack!” she called out, drawing Jack’s attention away from the child.

“What’s it look like in there?” Jack asked, as the trio approached him.

“About as expected,” Malcolm said.

“My baby,” the woman moaned. “Please. Please, let me hold my baby.”

Jack handed her the child, and the mother fell to her knees on the grass. She clutched her baby to her chest, and pressed her cheek against the top of its head.

“Oh, my baby. My little one,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry this happened. I love you so, so much.”

Malcolm and Allison moved in on either side of Jack. They spoke softly enough so that the woman wouldn’t hear them.

“We’re pretty sure that baby is the real deal, right?” Malcolm asked.

“All the signs were there,” Allison said. “We’ve got our source’s reports. And I don’t think the hellfire compass spell would have worked if that wasn’t the case.”

“You ever run into this before?” Malcolm inquired.

“Every other time we’ve done this, it was just a bunch of delusional nuts,” Jack replied.

“Then what do we do about…” Malcolm stopped talking, and nodded toward the mother and child.

“There’s not exactly a hard and fast rule about newborn devil-babies,” Jack said.

“Then we give them a chance,” Allison stated with conviction. “God knows they deserve it after all this.”

“I’m good with that,” Malcolm said.

He looked at the woman starting to shiver under the blanket he’d draped over her. Malcolm took off his coat, and placed it over the mother’s shoulders.

Allison took Jack by the arm, and led him a little further away from the others as Malcolm knelt beside the mother and child.

“It’s the right thing to do,” Allison said.

“I know,” Jack agreed. “I just hope we don’t end up…” he stopped himself, and shook his head. “The right thing is the right thing.”

“That woman was kidnapped, and terrorized by a living nightmare these past few days, because of that baby,” Allison said. “And still, all she wants to do is love it.”

“I guess that’s what being a parent means,” Jack said. “Loving that child with all your heart, all your soul, all your everything.”

Allison smiled tenderly at her husband, and said: “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”

“Ah, it’s just some cheesy…” he stopped when he noticed that his wife’s smile seemed brighter than ever before. “Wait a second. Is there something I ought to know?”

ONE

Everything happened much faster than they’d anticipated. The beast was on the car before they even turned off the engine. The screech of scraping claws on metal set their already-frayed nerves alight. They both froze in panic.

It wasn’t until the hairy fist smashed through the driver’s side window that they finally got out of the car, and ran. They didn’t look behind them, but the rapid crunching of loose gravel told them that the beast was not far behind.

They knew they had to find shelter quickly, but there weren’t many places to hide in the park. Their hearts pounded in their chests, and their lungs burned with oxygen, as they came upon the high brick archway of the public pool.

It was after midnight, so the pool had long-since closed for the day. They managed to squeeze through the wrought iron gates that were chained together.

No sooner did they get inside than they heard the chains rattling heavily against the gate.

This time, Patrick chanced a look over his shoulder to see the wolf-man dropping nimbly from the top of the gates to the ground below. Patrick grabbed Alexis by the shoulder, and pulled her toward him, just before he rammed his shoulder into the locked door of the ladies’ locker room.

Patrick braced the door with his back, only to have it slammed into him over, and over again. It was made of heavy wood, so he wasn’t worried about the beast breaking through it. But, having broken the lock himself, he also knew that he was the only thing holding the door closed.

“The bench!” he called to Alexis. “Is it bolted down?”

“No,” she replied, “Will it hold?”

“We’ve got to try,” Patrick said.

Alexis dumped the bench onto its side, and pushed it to the door. Patrick hopped over it so they could both slam it into place against the door. They both sat on the ground with their backs against the bench, and pushed until the muscles in their legs ached.

The door banged against the bench ceaselessly for another full minute before there was a sudden silence. Patrick looked at Alexis, and they both exhaled with cautious relief.

When they inhaled again, the lingering smell of chlorine calmed them with memories of more peaceful days. Of summers spent as children, running in the sun, and diving into the pool when the sign very clearly advised against doing so. It was these thoughts that finally gave Patrick the strength to speak again.

“You got the box out of the car, right?” Patrick asked.

Alexis took a small lockbox out of her handbag, entered the four-digit combination into the latch, and opened it the reveal a revolver with six silver bullets resting alongside it.

“Thank god,” Patrick said, as he took the gun and loaded the rounds.

“I think we made a mistake,” Alexis said.

“Starting to look that way, huh?” he said, with a nervous laugh. “But we’re ready now.”

He held up the pistol, which glinted from the moonlight coming in from the two windows above the door. The barrel had been polished to a mirror-like sheen and, when moved to a certain angle, showed a direct reflection of the full moon.

His insides coiled tightly when he thought about the windows again.

“Oh, shit,” he exclaimed, just as one of the windows exploded inward.

Glass showered down on them, causing them both to cover their faces with their arms. Patrick fired blindly, when he heard a heavy thud directly next to him. But his grip on the gun was loosened by the sudden shielding of his face and, with the recoil, the gun jumped out of his hand, skidding across the cement floor.

He instinctively reached for it, but a clawed hand swiped at his arm. Patrick got lucky again, and yanked his hand back just as the claws sent sparks up from the cement floor.

He fell back into Alexis, who tried to catch him. But his velocity knocked them both onto the ground.

Alexis looked up into her boyfriend’s terrified eyes and said: “I’m so sorry.”

Patrick covered as much of her body with his own that he was able to. He buried his face into Alexis’ neck, and hoped the beast would be satisfied with only taking him. He heard an abbreviated howl, and knew that this was how his life was going to end.

It must have been quick, since he did not feel any pain at all.

He wondered if he’d see a light, and hear the voices of his departed loved ones welcoming him to the afterlife.

He wondered if he’d be seeing Alexis again shortly, having failed her in the realm of the living.

“Patrick,” Alexis’ voice said, and he knew that the beast must have gotten her too. “Baby, look at me.”

He opened his eyes, expecting to see pearly gates. Instead he saw only bricks, and metal lockers.

Patrick turned his eyes down, and saw Alexis still lying beneath him. There was shattered glass all around them, and the coating of chlorine in his nostrils was now making him want to sneeze. If this was Heaven, it was a more-than-a-little disappointing.

 “I think you might need to tell your man that he’s not dead,” a voice calmly spoke from behind him.

He rolled over onto his back, and saw the silhouettes of two women. One wore a hooded cloak, and stood straight as an arrow in the doorway. The other leaned against the side of the doorway with her arms crossed.

He then allowed his eyes to drift to the prone figure of a man lying dead on the floor, not two feet from him. There was some sort of spear sticking out from his chest.

Patrick had never seen a dead body outside of a funeral parlor before, and he’d certainly never seen one impaled. He swung his face back at Alexis, who let out a short scream before rolling out from under him. She’d managed to just barely escape the deluge of vomit.

“Oh yeah,” the leaning woman said, as the other woman walked toward the dead body, “that’s the kinda guy you want to go hunting werewolves with.”

The other woman bent over the human body that was, prior to Patrick’s out-of-body experience, a ferocious wolf-man.

She placed one foot against the corpse, and pulled her staff out from it with both her hands. As the blade slid out, more blood spurted from the gaping hole in his chest cavity. Similarly, another spurt of vomit escaped from Patrick’s mouth.

“Seriously, though,” the leaning woman said, as the other one walked past her out the door. “If this is your idea of a fun date night, you should both seek therapy immediately.”

The leaning woman followed the other woman out of view.

Alexis got to her knees, and knelt beside Patrick. “Are you okay, baby” she asked.

“Holy crap,” Patrick replied, scrambling to his feet. “I think that was actually them!”

“Who?” asked Alexis.

Them!” repeated Patrick, as he rushed out the door after them.

The pair of Venatores were just through the main gate when Patrick shouted at them:

“The She-Wolf and the Cloaked Woman!”

“Goddammit,” Natalie Brubaker muttered, as she stopped, and sighed.

This situation had presented itself many times since Leia Ellis’ video exposed the world at-large to the truth that lurks in the shadows five years prior. By this point, the conversation exhausted Natalie before she even said the first word of her usual spiel.

Gitanna Luminisa stopped walking a few feet ahead of her. She pulled her hood back from her head, revealing a buzzed scalp that left little more than stubble. She turned back just as Natalie slowly walked back toward Patrick and Alexis.

Natalie pointed to the gun that Patrick now held in his hand.

“Is that all you brought?” she asked.

“We thought it’d be enough,” Patrick replied with some embarrassment.

“You thought one pistol, with six silver bullets would be enough to hunt a werewolf with?” Natalie said, incredulously. “I’m not even gonna bother asking if you’ve done this before. It’s very clear that you have not.”

“We just wanted to help,” Alexis said, joining Patrick.

“Getting turned into wolf chow isn’t gonna help anyone but the wolf,” Natalie replied. “Do either of you have any sort of training at all? Taekwondo? Ju-jitsu? Ballet?”

Patrick and Alexis just looked at each other, and slowly shook their heads.

“We’ve gone over everything on Leia Ellis’ website at least ten times,” Alexis offered. “And then, we heard stories about a wild creature attacking people here. Everything led us to believe it was a werewolf. So, we thought we could put our knowledge into practice, and maybe save some lives.”

Natalie had heard this before as well. She’d supplied Ellis with a good portion of the information on her website, so she knew it was legit. But she also knew that information alone wouldn’t be enough to turn an ordinary person into a Venator.

Natalie looked up at Gitanna, who simply pulled her hood back over her buzzed head, and walked to the car. She sat in the passenger seat, and waited patiently for her partner to wrap things up.

“On a scale of Irrationally Confident to Hell No, Never how likely would you two say you are to try this nonsense again?” she asked.

“We…” Alexis began to answer, before looking at Patrick for moral support.

“We still want to help,” he finished, and Alexis nodded along.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Natalie said, and walked a few steps closer to them. “First thing: Get some real combat training. Understand this: If you can’t beat a human in a fight, you sure as hell can’t beat a monster.

“Second thing: Never, ever, ever go on a hunt without at least two backup weapons. But you probably don’t need me to tell you that after having a slightly-worse-than-usual experience in the public pool locker room. Third thing: Give me your phone.”

Patrick reached into his pocket, and handed over his cell phone. Natalie punched a number into his contacts list, and then offered him the phone back.

“Next time you get a lead; a real lead, you call or text me at that number,” she stated. “But, I swear to god, if you text me with some bullshit questions, or photos of your goddamn brunch, then you will never hear from me again. You understand these terms?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Patrick and Alexis said, almost in unison.

“How old are you guys, anyway?” Natalie asked.

“Nineteen,” Alexis answered for them both.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” Natalie followed.

“We’re between semesters,” Patrick added.

“And this is how you decided to spend your summer vacation?” Natalie asked, mockingly.

“We both also work at the mall,” Alexis said, with some embarrassment.

Natalie sighed loudly, before turning, and walking back toward her car.

“Alright, well, try not to die,” she said over her shoulder. “And get far away from here before the cops find that dead guy. Believe me, that’s a conversation you don’t want to have.

“Thank you,” Patrick called after her. “For saving our lives, I mean.”

“It’s what we do,” she said to herself, while absently waving over her shoulder.

“Why do you insist on giving people like that your phone number?” Gitanna asked.

“You know why,” Natalie said, starting the engine. “There aren’t many of us left and, at the very least, we need to rebuild our network of contacts.”

“They are fools,” Gitanna said, matter-of-factly.

“Yup,” Natalie agreed. “Do you expect smart people to venture out into the night, looking to pick a fight with a ghoul or goblin?”

“You could get yourself killed trying to help these people,” Gitanna added, with some concern creeping into her voice.

“You know that I’m notoriously hard to kill, Tanna,” Natalie said, with a slight smile.

“How long until we arrive,” Gitanna asked, considering the previous subject closed.

“We should be there by morning,” Natalie replied, as she pulled onto the highway.

“Do you need me to drive?” Gitanna asked.

“You know that it’s also notoriously hard for me to fall asleep at the wheel,” Natalie said, and they both now smiled.

“I hope we can reach them before things take a turn for the worse,” said Gitanna.

“Me too,” Natalie agreed. “But I’d also prefer to perform an exorcism at dawn rather than in the middle of the night. Those things still freak me out.”

“You just need more practice,” Gitanna said.

“I’ve been getting way too much practice recently,” said Natalie.

“I know,” said Gitanna, leaving the weight of the implication hanging heavily in the air.

TWO

Hollis Caulfield had noticed the people following him for the first time three days ago. Of course, that didn’t mean they hadn’t been following him before then. It just meant he hadn’t noticed them.

It had been quite by chance that Hollis saw the woman during a late-night trip to the bodega down the street from his apartment. The shop was fairly small, as many were in the city, with lights in half the aisles flickering on and off. It was during one such flickering that he’d realized he was standing on someone else’s shadow.

She was at the end of the aisle taking a not-so-subtle look at him. The woman was quite attractive, and looked to be about the same age as Hollis. Sure, he had several apps on his phone where he could reach out for random hook-ups when the desire arose, but it was still nice to do some good old fashioned in-person flirting.

He approached the woman, but she turned and walked away without a word. Hollis did occasionally enjoy a little cat-and-mouse game, so he followed her. But, by the time he reached the spot where he’d seen her standing, she had vanished. This seemed a little weird but, then again, this was Los Angeles.

He’d forgotten all about it by the time he reached his apartment building. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He looked over his shoulder, but didn’t see anyone nearby. He thought he could make out a shadow moving in the alleyway next to his building, but figured that was probably just some hobo.

After entering his apartment, and locking his door, he walked over to the windows to close the blinds. It was then that he saw the man standing across the street in the dim halo of a street lamp. This was not unusual, in-and-of itself, but the man seemed to be staring directly up at Hollis through his window.

Hollis wanted to believe this was just some weirdo who liked staring into strangers’ windows. But then the man began walking across the street, never taking his eyes off Hollis.

With the hair on his neck now standing on-end, Hollis yanked his curtains closed, and made sure that the deadbolt was fastened on his door. He eventually managed to get to sleep two hours later, but the recurring nightmare he’d been having over the course of the past week ensured that it was not a restful slumber.

Aside from the periodic feeling that he was being watched by unseen persons, Hollis went about his typical work week. He could have sworn he’d seen the bodega woman and the street lamp man at different points during his travels, but faces in crowds always blurred together. Still, he couldn’t shake his case of the heebie-jeebies.

There could be no mistaking the sight of his stalkers the following night, though. They both stood at the entrance to the alleyway, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, watching him as he got out of his cab. Hollis fumbled through his pockets for his keys, as he didn’t want to risk taking his eyes off the creepy couple.

But neither made a move toward, or away from him. They simply stood and stared, unblinking, as Hollis finally turned the lock, pushed his way into the lobby, and quickly slammed the door shut behind him.

The few seconds he had to take his eyes off the stalkers made his heart thump against his ribcage. But, when he snapped his head back around, the watchers remained where they had been. The only difference was that their heads were now turned so they could still watch Hollis stumble backward through the lobby, to the stairs.

He moved sideways up the three flights of stairs to his floor, as he didn’t want to risk having someone sneak up behind him. Once he got to his apartment, he didn’t even bother looking out the windows before closing the curtains. He knew that he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep if he saw those faces staring up at him. And he knew, sight unseen, that they were still out there. And that they were still watching him.

Hollis had a big presentation in the morning, so he popped a few pills, and succumbed to sleep. The nightmare came again. The dark figures lurking. The color of their irises were twisting barbs of yellow and red.

He felt the elation of the knife in his hand. And he felt the pain as the knife was plunged into his stomach. He was both the killer, and the victim in these dreams. He’d never had any desire to be a killer, or hurt people at all. And he certainly had no interest in being a victim either. Yet every night for the past week, these visions haunted him.

Most nights, the sacrifice happened in a deserted building, or a clearing in some nameless forest. But tonight, it seemed to be happening in his own apartment. In his own bed. He felt like his eyes were open, but his eyelids felt heavy as they often do when one is trying to wake from a dream, but can’t quite make it back to consciousness.

There were two pairs of eyes – a man’s and a woman’s – that each had that unnatural yellow, and red coloration. Hollis thought the faces looked oddly familiar, before realizing that they belonged to the man and woman who had been following him. He was becoming unsure whether this was a nightmare, or reality.

That deadbolt would have kept anyone out, but these two were inhumanly strong. They held down his arms, and it felt as if they’d rested hundred-pound weights on both of his hands.

He started to scream for help, but the woman covered his mouth his one hand. Hollis couldn’t believe that, even with just one hand holding down his arm, he could not get it an inch off the bed.

This must be a dream he thought.

No way this slight woman could be this strong.

For some reason that video from five years ago popped into his head. The one with the werewolves, and the zombies, and the man with the flaming eyes.

He remembered thinking it was pretty awesome when he and his roommate got stoned and watched it in their dorm room. A cool little piece of independent filmmaking that went viral.

Some of the online weirdos still talked about that video, as if they believed it was real. He always thought they were gullible dopes. But these demonic eyes staring through him, and this incredible strength holding him down, making him feel powerless had him doubting his convictions.

There was a third figure standing in the far corner of his bedroom. It moved towards him holding something up near its face. Hollis had not yet been able to identify the item when it was jammed into his stomach. The initial pain was so excruciating that Hollis barely felt it when the knife was drawn upward, opening up his belly.

The figure then inserted its hand into the hole, and pushed it upward towards Hollis’ chest cavity. It was a wholly alien feeling, almost like a small animal burrowing through his torso. There was a tugging feeling in his chest, and then the sense of something popping loose.

Hollis was in-shock as he watched the figure’s hand emerge from inside of him holding onto something large, pink, and wet. That something also moved. Pumping, and squirting blood from disconnected tubes.

The last thing Hollis Caulfield saw before departing this mortal realm, was the dark figure taking a bite out of his still-beating heart.

Read the rest of The Sacrifice now on Amazon Kindle, and catch up on the entire Venator Series!

Who Soared Like A Fanged Eagle In Cobra Kai Season 4?

Like many other people, I binged all of the new season of Cobra Kai on Netflix over the span of three or four days. Consider this my season review, though I’ll be writing it by ranking the journeys of the primary characters over the course of latest 10 episodes.

Just to make things clear, I’m not ranking these characters based on the actors’ performance. Frankly, I thought everyone was very solid this season. I’m ranking based on how interesting I felt their story was.

Spoiler Warning – I will be going into massive spoilers from season 4 of Cobra Kai, as well as from the previous seasons

15 – Carmen Diaz – Carmen, unfortunately, was not given much to do this season. This is not necessarily a new issue, as she’s always been a bit underserved, but it is what it is.

14 – Demetri Alexopoulos – Similarly to Carmen, Demetri didn’t have a lot offer other than some pop culture references, and getting a little better at karate. The reason why he’s ranked above Carmen is because he gave Eli the pep talk that would propel him to his ultimate position on these rankings.

13- Anthony LaRusso – Anthony was essentially a new character this season, as we never got to spend much time with him in the first three seasons. It was clever of the writers to use that when they brought his character more into the action. Every time we saw him in season 1 through 3 he was more-or-less brushed aside by his parents in favor of their more interesting child. The fact that interactions like this might have led him to becoming your classic rich kid bully archetype is an interesting angle to take. Still, not much of an arc here, but we’ll stay tuned.

12 – Amanda LaRusso – Much like with Carmen, Amanda spent much of her time as a sounding board for her children and significant other. However, her attempts to understand and reach out to Tory gave her arc a little more “oomf” than Carmen’s. Prior to this season there was not as much empathy between characters in conflict as you might expect to see on a show like this. But Amanda led the charge as she did was she could to help her daughter’s former tormentor (and current tormentee, as we’ll get to later) get her life on-track.

11 – John Kreese – Kreese gonna Kreese. He’s still an asshole to his students to make them (what he considers) stronger. He still kind of wants Johnny Lawrence to come back into the fold. And he still feels like one should try to win at all costs. Kreese has always been a bit one note, but his interactions with Terry Silver made things more interesting this season. His attempts to lure Terry back under his control using traumatic shared memories and emotional blackmail in his efforts to strengthen Cobra Kai made for some intriguing psychodrama.

10 – Miguel Diaz – Miguel is the steady moral compass of the show, and has been for its entire run, aside from his brief dalliance with jerkhood late in season 1 and early in season 2. But his big character arc happened in those first two seasons, and it was pretty fantastic.
His time in a wheelchair in season 3 showed that the writers were straining a bit to keep Miguel interesting. He’s still a great character, and I enjoy him whenever he’s on-screen, but being a moral compass does not generally lead to dynamic storytelling.
He did have two stand-out scenes this season, though. His heartbreaking interaction with drunk Johnny, and his subsequent refusal to continue competing in the All Valley Tournament due in large part to that interaction functioned as a strong springboard into whatever he gets up to next season.

9 – Johnny Lawrence – The Johnny-Daniel Rivalry was a huge part of what made Cobra Kai so compelling at first. But it’s become a bit tiresome. I’d hoped they had buried that old grudge at the end of season 3, but it was not to be. Johnny’s jealousy over Daniel – especially Daniel’s bonding period with Miguel – caused things to flare up yet again. He and Daniel seemed to reach the fairly obvious conclusion that “no one way is the right way for everyone” at the All Valley Tournament, as they worked together to help Samantha try win the Girls’ Championship. I hope that the peace holds this time, as there really are more interesting angles to take with Johnny and Daniel’s relationship.

8 – Devon Lee – She actually was a brand new character, and was introduced late in the season, but I got a kick out of her. Her fiery, pro-wrestling style debate tactics were fun. As was watching those traits translate to her karate training with Eagle Fang. Her immediate propulsion to Johnny’s 2nd favorite student was fun, and she generally gave a nice spark to the last couple episodes.

7 – Daniel LaRusso – I’ve got the same gripe with Daniel that I have with Johnny, namely stemming from their drawn-out grudge. But Daniel gets a little bump for his scenes with Anthony, showing us some of Daniel’s flaws that he was seemingly unware of. These interactions helped him come to the conclusion that the teachings of Cobra Kai/Eagle Fang might actually be beneficially to kids trying to find their way in the world. That he came to these conclusions before Johnny did is why he’s ranked higher.

6 – Tory Nichols – Introduced in season 2 as a romantic and physical rival to Samantha, and turned into a cartoonish villain in the season 3 home invasion finale, Tory was finally given a proper arc in season 4. The writers took the interesting family stuff from season 3, and used that as a means to kick off a redemption arc. Sure, she was given the threats of an over-the-top dysfunctional aunt as a catalyst, but it served its purpose.
After a few interactions with Amanda LaRusso, and instructions by Kreese and Silver, Tory actually laid off Samantha for the most part. This led to Samantha sliding more into the instigator role, at least in their relationship, which made things fresher for them both.
That she won the Girls’ Championship over Sam in their first “official” fight was icing on the cake. That she won due to Terry Silver bribing an official to not dock her a point for an illegal back-elbow shot turned that icing sour, and put her in a really interesting starting point for season 5.

5 – Terry Silver – The last time I saw Karate Kid Part 3 was a very long time ago, and all I remember about it was included in Terry’s joke with Kreese that he was “So coked out that he spent weeks tormenting a teenager.” So color me surprised at how interesting I found Terry this season.
He has more layers that Kreese, and his teaching are more devious as well. Using his wealth to ingratiate himself to Robby, and the rest of his Cobra Kai students, by loaning out his fancy car, and pimping out the dojo with state-of-the-art equipment and apparel was a great way to show how his methods were different from Kreese’s.
In fact, the expansion of Cobra Kai and cashing in on its licensing was a nice little bit of meta-commentary when you think about how many Cobra Kai, Miyagi-Do, and Eagle Fang shirts you’ve seen out there since the show premiered.
He was briefly put back in his place by Kreese hanging their experience in Vietnam over his head. But then, with the help of physically and emotionally devastated Stingray, Terry got Kreese locked up and booted out of his way.
Terry’s franchised version of Cobra Kai expanding across the Valley has made them a greater threat than they ever were before, and I am totally here for it.

4 – Kenny Payne – In a lot of ways, his arc in season 4 mirrored Miguel’s in season 1. New kid in town, ruthlessly bullied, decided to learn karate, begins to lean toward his worse instincts. But, since Miguel’s Sensei was Johnny Lawrence, he was able to make his way back to being a good guy. Kenny’s been taking lessons from John Kreese and Terry Silver, neither of whom have any interest at all in bettering themselves or their students. Robby’s mentorship could have been a guiding light, but it too was doomed due to Robby’s blindness to his own shortcomings as a mentor. With Kreese out of the way, and Robby removing himself as an influence, that leave Kenny with Terry as his Sensei, and that’s something we have not really seen yet. It should lead to an interesting ride next season.

3- Robby Keene – I always felt Robby was a bit of a weak spot in the show, often used as more of a plot device than a character. But he came into his own in season 4. Actively learning from Daniel, Kreese, and Terry and using those teaching to turn himself into the most well-rounded fighter in the Valley was a cool culmination of things.
But his story turned a bit more tragic when he took Kenny under his wing, and tried to give him the sort of mentor that he wished he’d had as a kid. Robby, however, was too poisoned with anger to teach Kenny to be anything other than just as angry as him. His fight with Kenny in the tournament served as a microcosm of that, as it started off friendly and with best intentions, but ended with Robby embarrassing Kenny and taking him down way harder than he had to. Robby realized this during his epic Boys’ Championship match with Eli, and it ended up costing him the trophy as the revelation shattered his focus.
Losing his second championship match in as many years, along with his remorse over teaching Kenny all the wrong lessons, sent him to his father for probably the first time in his life. I’ll be interested in seeing where Robby stands with Cobra Kai and with Johnny next season.

2 – Samantha LaRusso – Much like Robby, Sam was never a character who I had much interest in. But season 4 changes that, mainly in how they change her dynamic with Tory. She also openly rebels against her dad’s teachings, and picks up some useful karate techniques from Johnny. But her gradual transformation from victim to instigator was what made her arc so interesting.
She even went so far as to mentally and emotionally attack Tory at her job which – as with her brother Anthony – slides her into the classic rich-kid-bully role. And, to cap it off, she lost the championship match to Tory even though she felt that she had done everything right – including taking the “be true to yourself” lesson to heart. This, of course, is offset by the fact that she racks up a ton of bad karma by making Tory’s life miserable in the weeks leading up to the tournament. In a lot of ways, her current situation most closely reflects Johnny’s at the end of the first Karate Kid movie.

1 – Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz – This is kind of a cheat, since Eli’s current arc really began at the end of season 3 when he decided to turn on his Cobra Kai allies in the heat of battle. But even that wasn’t enough to make up for the shit he’d already put the Miyagi-Do students through while he was under Kreese’s influence. This led to him being a pariah to one dojo, and a traitor to the other. Robby, and Cobra Kai, jumped Eli and shaved off his signature mohawk.
This left Eli seemingly without any friends or allies. But a visit from his old pal Demetri got him back at Miyagi-Do and, eventually, his fellow students forgave him. This all led to his big moment in the All Valley Tournament. Miguel went out during their fight with an injury, which put Eli in the Championship Match with Robby.
I was 100% sure that Robby would win but their match goes to Sudden Death and they both go into full Jean Claude Van Damme “Whipping Off My Shirt For This” mode. After the best choreographed, and most epic, fight in the show’s history Eli wins the final Match Point and is crowned champion.
I love an underdog story and, coupled with the fact that Eli went through the same Cobra Kai/Miyagi-Do cross-training process as Robby without all the fanfare, made this a really cool surprise in the finale.

The Matrix: Revisited

With The Matrix: Resurrections coming in December, I figured it was a good time to re-watch the original trilogy. I loved the first movie ever since it first came out back in 1999, and have re-watched it many times. But it’s probably been a good 10-15 years since I re-watched Reloaded or Revolutions. I always felt that the sequels being as sub-par as they were ended up hurting the first movie in retrospect. Trading in the fairly straightforward narrative with a bunch of pseudo-philosophy didn’t work very well for me at 20 years-old, but I figured it might work better for 40 year-old me. Here’s what I found.

The Matrix – Still an all-time sci-fi-action classic. We’ve seen the enhanced fight scene countless times since 1999 in action films, and especially in comic book adaptations. Sure, some of the fight choreography comes off as a little stilted and over-planned when held up against some of the extremely high level stuff that’s made it to the mainstream since then. Also, the lobby shoot-out featuring our heroes wearing long, black coats and killing without remorse hits differently after witnessing the tragedy and horror of mass shootings far too many times in this country. But everything in this movie else just works.

The story of a beautiful stranger leading you out of the doldrums of your underwhelming life. A wise mage teaching you to see the world in an exciting new way. The idea that you are the Chosen One who can save the world. Practically-speaking, most of the effects still hold up. Whatever CGI that was used was well-blended into everything else happening on-screen. And everything from Neo finally choosing to stand and fight Agent Smith – an unstoppable opponent – in the subway, through Neo himself becoming an even more unstoppable opponent in the end still resonates, and gets the adrenaline pumping. Neo flying into the sky after warning the machines that he was going to destroy the Matrix from the inside is still a hell of a mic drop.

The Matrix: Reloaded – This was actually quite a bit better than I’d remembered it being. Yes, the Wachowskis’ started laying in the whole philosophical free-will-vs-determinism more heavily, but not enough to really sidetrack things. The story still moves along ay a nice pace, and the big action sequences still work a lot more than they don’t. However, it’s when they don’t work that you start to see things stretching at the seams. The fight between Neo and the army of Agent Smiths starts out awesome but, about halfway through the fight, the CGI gets much heavier, and clumsier. Neo’s and the Smiths’ clothing, and movements look very Playstation 1 quality, while their faces take a detour into the Uncanny Valley. This is still a cool scene, but the bad CGI took me out of the moment more than anything in the first film did.

The big car chase is the other major set-piece, and it is also mostly awesome. The phasing ability of the Twins – the Merovingian’s main henchmen – are utilized very cleverly. And it was great to see Morpheus have his own chance to take out an Agent after taking a beating by Smith in the first film. This scene also did a good job of showing how Neo’s growing belief in himself, leads other to believe in themselves just as strongly. But then the bad CGI strikes again, most egregiously when the poorly-rendered Agent jumps – again in super slow motion – onto a car like it’s a trampoline, and launches himself onto the top of a semi-truck to fight Morpheus. One could lay the blame on the state of CGI in 2003, which was clearly nowhere near as advanced as it is in 2021, but its issues could have been hidden better by using it in a more darkened setting, and not in mega-slow-motion.

The bigger problem with Reloaded was introducing a whole new cast of character in Zion, and trying to make the audience care about them. Frankly, the real world is the least interesting aspect of this series, and we’ll discuss how that hurt Revolutions even more when we get there. Maybe they could have put Morpheus on the Council to makes us care more about that aspect of things, but then you’re benching your best character in hopes of having him elevate the weaker scenes. I’m sure there’s a draft of the script where Morpheus plays exactly that role, but it was probably better to end up where they did.

To my surprise, though, Reloaded worked more than it didn’t. Even the droning talking heads scene where the Architect drop a ton of exposition explaining that Neo is only the latest in a long line of “Chosen Ones” and that the machines have destroyed Zion several times already in the past before “resetting” the world was more interesting to me this time around. In part because Neo managing to fry the Squidies at the end was very effective in raising his power level to the point where he could conceivably take out the Source and win the war, and end the cycle, once and for all.

The Matrix: Revolutions – This is where is really all went wrong for me. The failures of Revolutions actually diminished my opinion of Reloaded without me even realizing it. I mentioned the real world being the least interesting thing about the previous film. The first major problem is that about 75% of Revolutions’ run time takes place in the real world. Also, the inhabitants of Zion still never moved the needle for me, even having been introduced to most of them in Reloaded. The Squidies’ attack on Zion, and the humans’ using mechs with giant machine guns is a pretty cool action scene that ends up hitting the same one-note for most of the third act, which makes it feel weirdly static after a couple of cuts back to it.

But the real deal-breaker for me is still the way things turn out for Neo and the Source. The Wachowskis made something of an attempt to humanize (for lack of a better term) the AI in the Matrix by introducing a family of two programs who apparently had a baby program together. It lasted for all of one undercooked scene, and did not manage to form any emotional connection between myself and the machines.

Neo goes to the Machine City to seek out the Source and end the war. Trinity travel with him, only to be killed when their hovercraft crashes – which is amongst the least cool ways to kill off an iconic character. Neo then reaches the Source and offers a truce. Neo offers to take out Smith, who has grown into a virus that the matrix cannot cleanse itself of, in-exchange for leaving Zion alone. The Source agrees, and Neo does his part by seemingly sacrificing himself to stop Smith and reset the Matrix. At that point, the Source calls off its attack on Zion. Yes, Zion was under siege at the time, so Neo had to do what he could to stop that. But, to me, this was like a person making a peace treaty with a bullet.

Aside from the five minutes spent with the Program Family, the machines’ whole reason for existing seems to be hunting, enslaving, and devouring humankind. My problem here is that I don’t see how there could ever be lasting peace between two parties when one party retains all of the power, and that party actually needs to consume the other party to ensure its continued survival. The machines wiped out Zion a number of times before and, aside from the one job that they needed Neo to do for them, they could still wipe out the rest of humankind at pretty much any time they feel it is necessary. The only thing keeping this from happening is the assurance of an Artificial Intelligence for whom, by-definition, morals and ethics do not exist.

I ended up feeling the same way this time as I did 15 years ago: That, when Neo came face-to-“face” with the Source, he should have used the new power he demonstrated at the end of Reloaded to destroy the Source. Presumably, this would lead to the collapse of Machine City, the widespread deactivation of the machines, the destruction of the matrix, and the only real chance humanity would have to escape enslavement and re-claim the world.

I’ll be watching The Matrix: Resurrections when it hits theaters in December. I’m hoping it can offer a better resolution than Revolutions did, but I’m not overly-confident that it will. Revolutions was bad and, sadly, it being bad defeats the purpose of watching Reloaded since they are essentially two parts of the same film. But that first movie, The Matrix, is still worth revisiting again and again. Maybe, if we’re lucky, Resurrections can live up to its title, and earn Reloaded and Revolutions a second chance at redemption.

Malignant Is The Long Island Iced Tea Of Horror Films

I spent some time as a bartender about 20 years ago. It was something I trained for, and I even got a certification in Mixology. During the two-week course I learned many different formulas for many different cocktails, some more exacting than the others. One of the least exacting, if not THE least, was the Long Island Iced Tea.

The general rule was to pour a big glass of sweetened iced tea, and then just dump a bunch of whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, tequila, or whatever else you happened to have lying around into it. As long as the tea was sweet enough to dominate the flavor palate, it really didn’t matter what sort of brain-melting, toxic brew you added to the glass.

Every time I prepared this drink for a customer, or ordered it for myself, the goal was never anything more or less than to get super f’n drunk. By and large, the Long Island Iced Tea accomplished this goal even if the flavor sensors had no real idea what to make of the elixir that had just been inflicted upon them. The sensation I felt while watching Malignant on HBO Max was very similar.

I’m going to get into big time spoilers below, so consider this your warning.

Director James Wan is most well known for his part in creating the “Conjuring Universe” and played no small part in the wave of small-budget-but-legitimately-good horror films beginning when he directed the first Saw movie. Yes, he also direct a Fast And Furious film and Aquaman, but his calling card remains these smaller films. When one hears that Wan was making a move called Malignant, one can’t help but group them in with his other films The Conjuring and – more specifically – Insidious. But, much like the first 30 minutes of this film, that is merely a smokescreen. Malignant is the Long Island Iced Tea of horror films, because it is a mash-up of at least three different types of horror movies.

The first act of the film plays like a ghost story, which is well-tread ground for Wan and his creative team. There is a prologue at a spooky asylum not dissimilar to a haunted castle. There is our main character, Madison, whose abusive husband is murdered by a shadowy figure that moves in seemingly impossible ways. The lights in her house begin flickering once she returns from the hospital after her own injuries are healed. And she begins seeing specters out of the corner of her eye. All traditional ghost movie tropes.

But the second act changes things. As more people are murdered, and these people have a common link to the asylum in the prologue, we can clearly see a physical entity is brutally killing them. Madison begins receiving threatening phone calls from a mysterious person who calls himself “Gabriel” at which time you, as a viewer, may begin to understand that this was not a ghost story. My interpretation at the time was that Gabriel was a psychic projection that Madison was unwillingly harboring. And, so I begin watching the movie more as a Jekyll & Hyde story than a ghost story. At this point, my interest was piqued, as there had been far fewer Jekyll & Hyde adaptations than ghost movies in the past decade or two. But that also only lasts for another 30 or 40 minutes before Malignant takes on its Final Form.

Act Three begins with Madison being arrested for the murders when a mysterious woman falls through her ceiling while she’s being interviewed by police detectives. This surprises her as much as any them or her sister, Sydney, who has been doing her best to help Madison cope with all the craziness. Madison is taken into custody, and locked inside a holding cell with fifteen or twenty other people. While a few of them being to smack her around, Sydney makes her way to the creepy asylum to grab Madison’s old medical files. Turns out, Madison was born “Emily” and committed to the asylum by her teenaged mother – the mysterious woman who Gabriel/Emily took captive and fell through the ceiling. And this is where the viewer hits the bottom of his first Long Island Iced Tea, and orders up another.

Turns out that Gabriel is real, he was a tumor/conjoined twin attached to Madison/Emily’s back who shared a brain with her and made her do bad things. Gabriel/Emily also has some sort of psychic power that explains how he can speak through phones and radios, and blow up the lightbulbs in the house. But wait, there’s more!

As revealed from old VHS tapes that Sydney finds, the doctors from the prologue – who Gabriel was murdering – performed a surgery where they removed Gabriel’s underdeveloped arms, legs, torso, and most of his head from Emily’s body. This is shown in an extremely gruesome montage. The problem was that, due to them sharing a brain, there was just a little bit of Gabriel’s face remaining on the back of Emily’s head. So, naturally, the doctors pushed that little bit into Emily’s skull, and somehow that left Gabriel in a dormant state until Emily/Madison’s husband cracked a wall with her head at the beginning of the film.

“That’s pretty nuts,” you might be thinking. And you’d be right, but you’d be wrong to assume that it couldn’t possibly get even more nuts when they finally show us the full transformation – werewolf movie style! While taking a beating in the holding cell, Gabriel (or what little is physically left of him) physically emerges out of the back of Emily/Madison’s skull. Gabriel, now in-control of the body, then snaps all of his (their?) limbs backwards to fall in-line with his face (more or less). So, now everything he does is contorted and in-reverse, which makes for quite the discombobulated viewing experience. After that brief foray into Cronenbergian body horror, Malignant becomes a Terminator or Predator movie in the home stretch.

Gabriel somehow has super-strong-backward-murder-ninja skills. How, or why, is not discussed or frankly relevant once you’ve gone this far into this batsh*t insane movie. Much like after chugging that Long Island Iced Tea, you’re now fully along for the ride, and there’s not much you can do about it. Gabriel slaughters the twenty people in the holding cell, breaks out, and then murders the twenty cops left in the police station with fairly minimal effort. Now, when I say “slaughter” and “murder” I want to be clear that these killings are both balletic and bloody. Much of the stunt work was done by a contortionist, and that honestly makes me appreciate the film more than if it had all be CGI. But Gabriel is a whirling dervish of a murder machine, and the fight scenes in the holding cell and police station are amongst the most original and visceral that have come along in quite some time.

Gabriel is eventually stopped when he tries to kill Sydney and Emily/Madison’s mother and Emily/Madison re-takes control of her body. She then locks Gabriel away in her mind, presumably until he’s needed for the eventual sequel where he’ll probably be used as more of an anti-hero. Which, by the way, is a movie I would definitely sign up for. Although, in another never-explained revelation, Gabriel was apparently feeding on the life energy of Madison’s unborn children, causing her to have several miscarriages, so maybe “anti-hero” is not really in his future.

Like the morning after a Long Island Iced Tea bender, you may not know what the hell happened in Malignant, but you’ll somehow know that you had a fun time. The benefit that the film has over the bender, though, is that it will surely return you home, safe and sound. You’ll also probably have less of a hangover.

Unlucky 7: The Most Notable Times WWE Failed Bray Wyatt

Bray Wyatt (real name Windham Rotunda) was recently released from his WWE contract. This sort of thing happens all the time in the pro wrestling business, but not typically to a performer who holds the spot on the roster that Rotunda holds. Whether cheering or booing, the fan at-large never stopped responding to Rotunda. And, by all accounts, he sells a lot of merchandise, and makes WWE a lot of money.

This would lead one to believe that his release was due to less typical circumstances. One such circumstance is that Rotunda has always brought creative ideas to the table that are both complex, yet still clearly-executed. Vince McMahon has never been one to push a complex idea, and the only clear ones he cares about are his own. For the time-being, I’m going to theorize that Rotunda and WWE parted due to the ever-popular reason of creative differences.

But, the bigger question, is how did we get here? Rotunda has been over with the fans since his main roster debut back in 2013. For the most part, the audiences engagement with him never really faltered. Along with his creative storytelling, he is a very good in-ring performer with a strong, signature move set, and even stronger in-ring psychology. With that package, Rotunda should have have a decades-long run at, or near, the top of the card. The problem is that, no matter how great a package you present, McMahon needs to push that package the right way.

Frankly, Rotunda’s success seemed to come more in-spite of Vince McMahon than anything else. If you take a look back at the points in Rotunda’s WWE career when he was on the cusp of becoming a true main event superstar, you can can see a very clear pattern of Vince McMahon’s booking undercutting Rotunda’s momentum. The list I’m presenting below will certainly not tell the whole story, but I believe that it offers the highlights (lowlights?) of the problem. The list has been sorted in chronological order.

Bray Wyatt vs John Cena – WrestleMania 30 – April 2014 – The Wyatt Family, a cult-ish, backwoods crew who gained notoriety in the burgeoning NXT made their main roster debut in 2013 after that year’s WrestleMania. The fans were immediately interested in the Wyatt Family, and that was almost entirely due to Wyatt’s ability to spin a great promo, and perform like a badass in the ring. This was Bray Wyatt’s WrestleMania debut match. And it was against the man who had been at the top of the company for nearly a decade, but had one foot out the door and pointed toward Hollywood. A win here would have given Wyatt a massive rub, and set a new star rocketing toward a main event spot. Instead, Cena was booked to overcome Wyatt, and his Wyatt Family, as Cena had been booked to do to virtually every other previous challenge. The result here presented Wyatt himself as just another one of those challenges, thus sullying his credibility right out of the gate.

Bray Wyatt vs The Undertaker – WrestleMania 31 – March 2015 – Prior to what is popularly referred to as “WrestleMania Season” Wyatt has started calling himself “The New Face Of Fear” as a direct shot at the old face of fear. It seemed like a good angle, since that face was only showing itself on WWE programming two or three times per year by this point. The Undertaker’s legendary streak ended the year before in a loss of Brock Lesnar, and he was several years into the phase of his career where he really only had matches at WrestleMania to defend said streak. With the streak over, WWE was presented with a great opportunity to pass the baton, and give Wyatt the sort of win that could define his young career. With the streak over, the only real thing Undertaker had left to offer was his own career. A match between Taker and Wyatt at WrestleMania, where Wyatt could both retire the legend, and officially claim his New Face Of Fear mantle would have set Wyatt off on the path to great things. Instead, Taker wins, even though he was an aging part-timer who was no longer even defending a historic win streak.

The Wyatt Family Getting Clowned By The Rock & John Cena – WrestleMania 32 – April 2016 – You may notice a pattern forming here, but I promise there will be a few non-WrestleMania examples coming up soon. Though, the fact that there are so many examples of his at Mania makes the problem very clear. This was not even a match, other than The Rock beating Erik Rowan in an impromptu match that lasted all of seven seconds. The Rock was retired and, frankly, could have laid the smackdown on any undercard talent here while getting the same pop fro the crowd. Instead, they brought out the semi-retired John Cena, and the pair bounced Bray Wyatt, and his cohorts, around the ring for a few minutes. Hardly the best use of Bray Wyatt, and certainly not helpful to his credibility after losing matches in the two previous Manias.

Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Match – WrestleMania 33 – April 2017 – The match itself ended up being overbooked, and undercooked at the same time with silly moments provided by the WWE AV Club. Wyatt lost the match, and the title, after a single RKO in an era where no one stays down after one finishing move in big title matches. The bigger travesty in this case, was that they were so close to finally doing right by Wyatt.
Just two months prior, Wyatt outlasted John Cena, AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, The Miz, and Baron Corbin in an Elimination Chamber match that concluded with Wyatt, himself, pinning both Styles and Cena. Wyatt was still nominally a heel, but the crowd showered him with a “You Deserve It!” chant that clearly had its origins in the many previous mishandlings of Wyatt’s booking.
On top of this, Wyatt had been involved in a months-long program where Randy Orton joined the Wyatt Family, despite Luke Harper’s (portrayed by the late Jon Huber) suspicions about Orton’s true motives. Wyatt sided with Harper over Orton, only to be betrayed by Orton just as Harper had expected. The stage was set for an epic Triple Threat Match between Wyatt, Orton, and Harper for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.
Instead, McMahon had Harper booked out of the angle a few weeks before Mania, and then booked a terrible gimmick match that was won by Orton, who was already a multi-time world champion, and did not need this win nearly as much as Wyatt did. A few months later, Orton dropped the title to Jinder Mahal, who went on to have an extremely forgettable title reign himself, and Wyatt had to get back to the drawing board to build himself up again.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Seth Rollins – WWE Universal Title Match – Hell In The Cell – October 2019 – See? I told you we’d have some non-Mania examples coming up. Wyatt floated around the mid-card, and tag team division for a little while, before re-inventing himself with one of the most staggered character transformations in the history of pro wrestling. Leaving the cult leader persona behind, Wyatt became a creepy children’s show host who sometimes transformed into a horror movie-style monster called The Fiend. Again, he was working heel, but the fan were super into this new presentation. Only a few months after The Fiend’s in-ring debut at SummerSlam, he was given a Universal Title shot at the Hell In The Cell event.
One couldn’t imagine a more perfect scenario for the monstrous Fiend to claim his spot at the top. October. Halloween season. Hell In The Cell match. The Fiend took all of Rollins’ best shots, and kept coming after him. Until the end, when Rolling piled a bunch of steel chairs atop The Fiend, and then beat those chairs with a sledgehammer. No pinfall, no submission, a HitC match has no rules. But the referee stopped the match. Rollins retained, The Fiend attacked him after the match, and the crowd hated it all. This ending hurt Rollins as much as it did Wyatt to the extent that Rollins – who was running at an all-time high popularity – had to turn heel shortly afterward.
A few weeks later, at one of WWE’s ill-advised cash grab Crown Jewel Saudi Arabia shows, The Fiend did take the title off Rollins. But having the title change happen at such a controversial show, rather than in the perfectly-themed Hell In The Cell was another in the long line of booking mistakes for Wyatt.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Goldberg – WWE Universal Title Match – Crown Jewel – February 2020 – Speaking of the morally-problematic Saudi Arabia shows, The Fiend dropped the Universal Title at the very next one to 50-something year-old Goldberg, who happened to show up a few weeks earlier and demand a title match.
If there’s one thing Vince McMahon loves doing, it’s feeding his current stars to relics of past eras (see the first three entries on this list). Goldberg speared and jackhammered The Fiend a few times, and then pinned him to take the title in less than five minutes. The Fiend stood up afterward, and dusted himself off like it was no big thing. But he’d already lost the match, and the title, so the damage was done.
Goldberg dropped the belt to former Wyatt Family heavy Braun Strowman two months later at WrestleMania 36, while Wyatt actually had his WrestleMania highlight in a Firefly Fun House match against John Cena. This Wyatt-Cena match was a lot more fun than their previous Mania encounters as both Wyatt and Cena were committed to making something really self-referential and interesting.
Wyatt himself won his second Universal Title from Strowman at that year’s SummerSlam, but then lost it in a Triple Threat Match to Roman Reigns only one week later at the Payback event. Honestly, that could warrant its own entry on this list, but I’m trying to keep it to seven.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton – WrestleMania 37 – April 2021 – And, just like that, we’re back at WrestleMania, and we’re back with Randy Orton. It makes sense that this would be the final nail in the coffin of Wyatt’s WWE career, as McMahon had used Orton and Mania to kill Wyatt’s credibility at his previous career peak four-years prior. This time around, Wyatt and Orton had a much less interesting story. Orton set The Fiend on fire in the ring some months earlier, so Wyatt’s new acolyte Alexa Bliss became a thorn in Orton’s side, until The Fiend returned to lay out Orton, and make their WrestleMania match official.
With fans in the arena for the first time in over year, due to the Covid pandemic, and chanting for The Fiend, McMahon again books Wyatt to be pinned by Orton after a single RKO. Sure, The Fiend was confused by Alexa Bliss’ make-up or some such thing, but this was still terrible booking, and the crowd let them know it.
Wyatt would make one more brief appearance on the following night’s episode of RAW, before disappearing for several months until his release was announced.

So, what’s next? No on can tell for sure, but Rotunda is a highly imaginative person, and I would certainly be willing to check out whatever he does next – be it wrestling, writing, or filmmaking. My personal preference, though, would be to see him show up in AEW. The rival promotion has been putting on a better wrestling product than WWE in every way pretty much since its premiere, and it certainly seems to be a place where where more creative minds can thrive as well.

AEW has a growing list of performers that Vince McMahon couldn’t (or wouldn’t) figure out how to use properly, that they have presented like the superstars they always seemed like they could be. Cody Rhodes, Jon Moxley, Miro The Redeemer, Andrade, and Malakai Black, just to name a few. With word that former WWE super-duper-main-even-stars CM Punk and Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) are set to debut in AEW over the next few weeks, acquiring Rotunda on top of that would elevate AEW to a whole other level of relevancy amongst even the most jaded pro wrestling fans.

It’s exciting to look forward to whatever Windham Rotunda does next. But, looking back, it’s also pretty easy to see where things went wrong with WWE. Vince McMahon likely won’t learn any lessons from this, and one of the lessons Rotunda probably learned was that Vince never learns his lessons. Hopefully, whatever else Rotunda learned, will serve him well in what he decided to do next.

Where Are We Going In The Marvel Cinematic Universe (Multiverse) Phase (Fantastic) 4

It would appear that Kang (or Kangs) is/are the new Big Bad for MCU Phase 4. So, where do we go from here? Let’s take a look at what has officially been announced and try to piece together how Phase 4 will play out the challenge of Kang The Conqueror.

Disney+ Shows:
Below is the list of Disney+ shows, as it was released by Marvel Studios –

What If…? (Summer 2021)

Ms. Marvel (Fall 2021)

Hawkeye (Winter 2021)

Moon Knight (2022)

She-Hulk (2022)

Secret Invasion (2022)

Loki Season 2 (Late 2022?)

Ironheart (TBA)

Armor Wars (TBA)

Out of that list, Tom Hiddleston has said that What If…? will deal with the multiverse. But, it’s an anthology show, and will likely not be essential viewing for the Kang arc. Should be fun, though.

We can also assume that Loki season 2 will pick up where season 1 left off, which was with Kang’s conquest begun in-earnest. But, it would also just be an assumption that the whole season would be spent on that threat.

I believe the other shows, mainly featuring street-level, Earthbound heroes, will be following a different track than the one laid out by WandaVision and Loki. I think, perhaps, The Falcon And The Winter Soldier has set that other track to a new Avengers team that will culminate with the recently-announced Captain America 4. It makes sense that the MCU, now filling hours in movie theater as well as television, would start building in multiple different directions at the same time.

They may even build in a third direction, if they want to work towards a Young Avengers team. We’ve already seen a new, younger Black Widow in the Black Widow movie, Wiccan and Speed on WandaVision, and Kid Loki on Loki (complete with Gator Loki). Ms. Marvel and the new Hawkeye will be debuting on Disney+ later this year, not to mention they have announced an Ironheart show.

Movies:
Unlike Disney+ shows, I think the threat of Kang will be dealt with primarily in the movies. But there will be some notable exceptions.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (Fall 2021) From what we’ve seen, this likely won’t deal too heavily with Kang. Considering the shuffling of schedules and production that occurred due to the pandemic, Shang-Chi was probably always intended as a standalone movie that now happens to be releasing after the Kang reveal.

Eternals (Fall 2021) – The only trailers we’ve gotten don’t tell us much about the actual plot. Though, it does seem to span hundreds – if not thousands – of years on its own, so I wouldn’t expect there to be too much room for Kang.

Spider-Man: No Way Homes (Winter 2021) – Everything we’ve heard about this one suggests that it deals with the multiverse, and multiple Spider-Men, so Kang will likely factor heavily into this. If not directly, then certainly as a catalyst.

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (Early 2022) – There is a very strong, direct link from WandaVision to Loki to this movie. I expect this will be a place where we see Kang himself raising hell, while poor Stephen Strange tries very hard to clean up everyone else’s metaphysical messes.

Thor: Love And Thunder (Spring 2022) – We don’t know much about this, other than that we’ll see the Guardians Of The Galaxy (Thor’s new running buddies) and Jane Foster will wield Mjolnir. But, since Mjolnir was destroyed by Hela in Thor: Ragnarok, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that we’ll be seeing a different universe’s Mjolnir. And possibly a different universe’s Jane Foster as well. I would say that means we get some of the Kang Thang here.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Summer 2022) – Due to the tragic death of Chadwick Boseman last year, this script has been re-written numerous times according to some cast members. The first Black Panther was mostly standalone, but Wakanda (or Wakandans) did play a big part in Infinity War and Endgame. At the end of the day, I have no idea whether or how this will involve Kang.

The Marvels (Fall 2022) – This is another one we don’t know much about, other than that the title was changed to involve Captain Marvel, Photon (not Monica Rambeau’s official superhero name yet in the MCU) and Ms. Marvel. Considering that Captain Marvel is one of the heaviest hitters they have, a time travelling supervillain may be the most realistic threat to her. I expect we’ll see a good bit of Kang in this one.

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania (Early 2023) – This is the movie that Jonathan Majors was first announced for as Kang and, considering how much the Quantum Zone factored into the time travel exploits of Avengers: Endgame, this may well be the culmination of Kang’s arc as the primary antagonist. One would assume that, if this ends up being the climax, it will be used as a sort of Trojan Horse Avengers movie, like Captain America: Civil War was. Which would mean we’d be seeing a lot more heroes than just the ones in the title.
However, it might be a stretch to assume that the threat of Kang will wrap up before Loki season 2, and there’s a very good chance that Loki season 2 is not ready to roll out before the release of this film. But they have stated that season 2 starts filming in January 2022, so they might make it under the wire here.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.3 (Spring 2023) – If Kang is finished as the Big Bad of Phase 4 in Quantumania, GOTG V.3 could well be its own thing, with the freedom to have some fun, and potentially send off one or more of the core characters. But, there is one big factor to consider when thinking about the end of Phase 4, and that’s…..

Fantastic 4 (Summer – or later – 2023) – This movie was announced, as was director Jon Watts, as part of Phase 4. But we’ve had no word yet on a script or a cast. Kang was originally introduced as an F4 villain, and Marvel Studios got the rights to him back when they re-acquired the rights to F4. In comics continuity, he is a descendent of Reed Richards and Sue Storm, so that all ties in nicely to whatever the end of Kang’s story arc might be. Also, if they don’t actually have a proper Avengers movie to cap off Phase 4, the next best thing would be to welcome the First Family of Marvel to the MCU, while actually making a good F4 movie for the first time. And, hey, Phase 4 capping with Fantastic 4 just seems poetic.

Blade and Captain America 4 – I believe these two movies will end up falling into the early stages of Phase 5.
I fully expect Kang to be the Big Bad of Phase 4 but, unlike Thanos, I don’t see Marvel Studios carrying over these supervillains for multiple Phases. Especially now that they have the rights back to more of their best bad guys (Mephisto, Dr. Doom, Magneto, Galactus, Annihilus).

I could be wrong about that, but I feel like – at this stage of the MCU’s evolution – they won’t expect their audience to have the same sort of patience. Also, Kang is a immediate and ongoing threat. While Thanos didn’t even really make his presence felt until six years into the MCU’s existence (2014’s Guardians Of The Galaxy). He also didn’t truly become a clear and present danger until 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War.

This is all, of course, 100% speculation on my part. But, I’ve got to say, speculation is way too fun to just be a spectator sport. I guess we’ll see how right, or wrong, I am by 2023. Until then, I’m just going to enjoy watching every single one of these movies and shows.

Taking A Nostalgic Stroll Down Fear Street

SPOILER WARNING – This blog post contains massive spoilers for Netflix’s Fear Street Trilogy (1994, 1978, 1666)

I was fifteen-years-old in 1994, and I loved horror movies. I still do, but back then I was still in the process of discovering the classics and mainstays. I believe I had already seen most of the Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, and Halloween films. While I was still a year or two away from going back further to things like Universal Horror classics, and Hammer Horror franchises. It was around this time (1996) that the first Scream movie took it upon itself to deconstruct elements from a very specific type of horror movie: The slasher flick.

It was actually Scream that made me go back and find the deeper catalogue of slasher flicks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Prom Night, The Burning, Sleepaway Camp, Terror Train, The Funhouse, Madman, and the like. Scream then begat a era of similar movies that featured teenagers in some half-winking, slashery situations such as I Know What You Did Last Summer, Disturbing Behavior, Urban Legends and, of course, numerous Scream sequels. But it was only a few years after Scream when I lost interest in slasher flicks, and that was due in large part to the fact that I was no longer a teenager myself. As such, I wasn’t really finding the lives (or deaths) of the characters especially relatable. So, I went off and expanded my horror movie palate in different directions.

But Netflix was very clever in their approach to casting out the widest possible net for their Fear Street Trilogy. Yes, the core characters are teenagers in-peril. But they are teenagers in the year 1994, and then in the year 1978, and then way back in 1666. Much like Netflix’s other retro hit Stranger Things before it, Fear Street ropes in viewers from my generation with nostalgia, while also appealing to the current crop of teenage viewers with teenage character who aren’t so very different than they are – even with 20+ years of history between them. However, unlike Stranger Things, Fear Street is very much R-Rated horror. Fortunately, for teenagers of today, no one is carding them on the way into the theater (give or take a Parental Lock Password). Personally, having been a teenager in the 90’s, while also watching slasher films of the 80’s and 70’s, Fear Street managed to double-hook me in.

But here’s where things get more interesting – The first entry, Fear Street: 1994, opens with a famous young actress being murdered in a mall by a masked killer. Which was very Scream of them. But, rather than playing the long game of “who is the killer and when will they strike next” the killer is immediately unmasked and shot by the local sheriff. So, Scream basically plays out in the first ten minutes of the movie.

Through the rest of FS: 1994, more killer are revealed. And these killers are very much supernatural in-nature. This first film lays out some details about a supposed curse over the town of Shadyside placed on it by a witch named Sarah Fier, wherein a person is possessed every decade or so, and goes on a killing spree. We are introduced some previous killers with effectively creepy character designs who were possessed in prior decades, as they rise from their graves. More specifically – they rise from a giant, gooey, black heart that resides in a cave beneath the town to kill anyone who sees a vision of Sarah Fier. In this case, the unfortunate target is Sam, who had the lousy luck to bleed in the wrong place, which triggered a connection to Sarah Fier.

The evil is seemingly defeated by the end of FS: 1994, at the very gory cost of the primary heroines’ friends’ lives. But then there’s a hook at the end: Sam becomes possessed in much the same way as the killer from the beginning of the movie, leaving her girlfriend Deena, and Deena’s brother Henry, to try and save her soul. It’s a cliffhanger much like you’d have seen in almost every Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, or any other slasher franchise. Happily, I only had to wait for a week – rather than a year or two – to see the next installment.

This was another part of the brilliance of Netflix’s release strategy. The same sort of near-instant gratification they offer by dropping entire seasons of TV shows at one time is emulated, only with movies. The story arc of Deena, the possessed Sam, and Henry actually forms a framing device around the next two movies. Yet another clever trick used by Writer/Director Leigh Janiak, and her creative team, to ensure viewers stay invested through all three movies.

Fear Street: 1978 begins in 1994, with our protagonists tracking down Ziggy, who was the lone survivor of the previous Shadyside massacre at Camp Nightwing back in 1978. This then launches us back to the year 1978, where we see how that all played out. Ziggy, the local “weird girl” formed a very sweet bond on the last day of camp with popular boy (and future sheriff) Nick Goode just before all hell broke loose, ending with Ziggy’s sister (and many other campers and counselors) being slaughtered by another counselor after he is possessed.

FS: 1978 might be my favorite of the three films, since it doesn’t really need to do the heavy expositional lifting of FS: 1994 or handle the job of wrapping everything up like FS: 1666. It’s honestly the most straightforward installment, and it has the emotional advantage of offering a tragic ending of Ziggy watching her sister being murdered, while her sister watches Ziggy being stabbed and believing that she failed to save her. But Ziggy does survive. Well, technically, she’s brought back to life by Nick Goode performing CPR.

But that brings us back to 1994, where Deena and Henry ask a grown-up Ziggy where to find Sarah Fier’s severed hand. They had found Fier’s body back in FS: 1994 but, according to the legend, they needed to bury the hand with the body to end the curse. So, they retrieve the hand, and Deena goes to bury it with the body. But, much like Sam before her, Deena gets a nosebleed from being too close to Fier’s remains. Unlike Sam, Deena’s mind is actually swept all the way back to 1666, when the curse is said to have begun.

Fear Street: 1666 actually only spends about half of its runtime in 1666, where Deena sees the town as it was when it was still just a colonial village. The kicker is that she’s seeing it all through Sarah Fier’s eyes. The time spent is 1666 moves quickly to the point where horrors are unleashed upon the village due to someone’s deal with the devil. The films uses the cast from the previous two installments to fill out the roles of the villagers. In an ironic twist, the actors who play characters that survived the previous films are killed, while the actors who play characters killed in the previous films survive. It caps of with the first possessed killer slaughtering a chapel full of children, and cutting out their eyes (as well as his own) before he is killed by Sheriff Goode’s ancestor Solomon.

This being 1666, a witch hunt is promptly launched. Sarah and her secret beloved Hannah are accused by the town asshole after he was spurned by Hannah. Hannah is captured, but Sarah makes a run for it. She hides out at Solomon Goode’s home, as he’s always been kind to her, only to discover that Solomon is the one who cast a curse on the village in order to attain power. Sarah is recaptured by the lynch mob, and hanged from a tree after she promises Solomon that she will expose his evils one day. That day, as it turns out happens in 1994.

When we get back to 1994, Deena shares her new knowledge with Ziggy and Henry, that the Goode family has continued this deal with the devil for more than 300 years. Every decade or so, the eldest son of the family allows a townsperson to become possessed, and go on a killing spree. This casts every interaction between Ziggy and Nick from FS: 1978 into a very interesting new light. If there’s one complaint that I have about the Fear Street Trilogy, it’s that the emotional payoff between the adult version of Ziggy and Nick is never really explored. At any rate, the key to ending the curse is to kill Sheriff Goode. Now, Nick’s brother is the mayor of neighboring Sunnyvale, so killing Nick doesn’t really end the bloodline. But, considering Nick is the one who cast the curse in both 1978 and 1994, I guess that offers as much explanation as we’re going to get.

In the end, we’re brought back to the mall, where the undead previous killers attack again. But our heroes manage to survive using some interesting tricks they picked up in FS: 1994. Deena chases Sheriff Goode into the tunnels beneath the mall, which are the same tunnels that were formed way back when Solomon first made the deal, and cast the curse. A chase ensues that ends with Deena stabbing Sheriff Good through the eye, thus killing him and ending the curse. The giant, gooey, black heart in the caves shrinks down to nothing. The killers in the mall disintegrate. And Sam is freed from the possession.

If we hadn’t been given a proper conclusion at the end of this trilogy, I’m sure my opinion would have soured on it. Happily, that was not the case. I’ve never read any Fear Street books, or frankly any R.L. Stine at all. By the time those came along, I was already reading the likes of Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, and Dean Koontz. I’m sure this means that I missed some Easter Eggs throughout. But it also means that I can recommend the Netflix Fear Street Trilogy to anyone, even if they are also unfamiliar with the source material.

All the installments are highly entertaining, with barely an ounce of fat on them. So check them out now or, perhaps even better, add them to your list for Halloween season viewing. It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a new teen slasher flick, and I’m very happy to have now found three of them. Fifteen-year-old me would absolutely approve.

The Evolution Of Loki

Hello Again. It’s been a while since I’d posted here, but that’s because I was finishing up the fourth novel in my Venator Series (coming soon), and also posting a new story on Kindle Vella (available now).

But I’m back now, and this blog will contain major spoilers from season one of the Loki Disney+ series. I’m not going to go too deep on the show itself, as many writers have already done a better job than I could. But I do want to examine the core arc of the show, and of the titular character.

Before I get into the details, I want to say that I kind of loved Loki season one. I would probably rank the MCU Disney+ shows as Loki, WandaVision, and The Falcon And The Winter Soldier. Before watching any of the shows, I would have thought that list would be the exact opposite. But WandaVision and Loki took fresh, new angles that I had not really seen in the MCU before. I found that to be a much more interesting watch than Falcon & Winter Soldier, which I also liked, but seemed more like business-as-usual.

At any rate, here’s your last spoiler warning for Loki.

On its broadest level, Loki was about getting the character to a point where he would have been had he not gotten killed by Thanos in Infinity War in a very underwhelming fashion. Since this Loki jumped timelines directly from the invasion of New York at the end of the first Avengers movie, that seemed to be a lot to ask. But taking him into custody in the Time Variance Authority (TVA) where his powers did not work, and showing him a greatest hits reel of “his” life after 2012 got Loki to a state where he was ready to move forward.

At its heart, the show was about allowing Loki to attain a level of self-awareness that then, in-turn, inspired him to become a better man (better god?). To the show’s credit, it managed to do just that in a fairly brief six-episode season. Loki was certainly not able to better himself without a lot of help along the way. Sophia Di Martino’s Sylvie was Loki’s primary companion (and I mean that is a very Doctor Who sense, as that was clearly a large influence here). Her Loki variant had been taken by the TVA as a little girl, spent her entire life on the run, and now had vengeance as her only true compass. She never really got to live a life, while Loki lived one for well over a thousand years. Which made him understand just how selfish, and unwarranted his thirst for power at all costs was.

Owen Wilson’s Moebius made no pretensions about being able to see right through Loki’s usual predilections, which helped Loki see them more clearly himself. Nothing makes it easier to embarrassingly smell your own bullshit than someone calling you out on it without a second of doubt. But Loki came to appreciate Moebius’ candor, and he became the only real friend Loki had probably ever made for himself.

In the void at the end of time, after being pruned and attempted to be fed to a ravenous creature named Alioth, Loki ran into a number of other variants of himself. There was Richard E. Grant’s older, Classic Loki, who escaped Thanos’ clutches, and lived in isolation for hundreds of years, wishing only to escape the vicious cycle of his life. Jack Veal’s Kid Loki was a reflection of what Loki may been been like had he actually succeeded in killing his brother, Thor. That this act was committed by a child who demonstrated more sorrow than any sort of sense of accomplishment, was apt for a childish grudge that Loki had long harbored. And there was Gator Loki, who mainly served as a way to chop down the last of Loki’s ego, when he saw that – in another universe – he was literally nothing more than a reptile. An awesome reptile, but a reptile nonetheless.

True rock bottom came for Loki when Boastful Loki betrayed those who seemed to be his friends in order to be given a throne, which was nothing more than a chair in a broken down bowling alley located in a post-apocalyptic dystopian feeding ground for a giant smoke monster. And then Boastful Loki was promptly betrayed by President Loki (perhaps the closest reflection of our Loki as he was at the start of the series), who was then betrayed by all the other Lokis in his posse. The capper coming when Gator Loki bit off President Loki’s hand, the latter of whom emitted a high-pitched shriek as Gator, Classic, Kid, and Primary Loki made their escape.

A reunion with Sylvie and Moebius, who had also been pruned, set off the endgame. Classic Loki, Kid Loki, and Gator Loki made their way off, as Moebius returned to the TVA to bring it down. That left Loki and Sylvie to work together to get past Alioth, and reach the castle beyond him where the true leader of the TVA resided. Classic Loki returned to save Loki and Sylvie by distracting Alioth with a massive illusion of the kingdom of Asgard. His sacrifice gave the others enough time to enchant Alioth, and make it to their final destination.

Their final destination was THE final destination as it was, literally, the end of time. Inside the castle the delightful, if somewhat sinister, living cartoon Miss Minutes offered Loki and Sylvie a deal, which they promptly turned down. Once they were past Miss Minutes, they encountered the half-mad and ancient “He Who Remains” (HWR) who is never referred to by any other name but is played by Jonathan Majors, who was already announced as playing Kang The Conqueror. What followed was an honest description of how the TVA came to be, and what its true purpose is.

HWR, and his variants in countless universes, were scientists who each discovered the multiverse in their own way. Many were interested in understanding how the multiverse, and multiple timelines, came to be. But many others were determined to conquer all the universes. This lead to a massive, multiversal war that – we are told – nearly destroyed every universe. But HWR managed to weaponize Alioth, and defeat all of his variants. He then created the TVA to ensure that another Kang variant (or similar threat) would not again rise to threaten the multiverse. The cost of his chosen method is paid in the sacrifice of free will, and the destruction of countless universes and those living therein.

But HWR is tired. And, while he at-first appeared to have omniscient knowledge of all that ever was, or will be, even he reached a point where he does not know what happens next. It is in this moment that he offered Loki and Sylvie another choice: Kill him, and allow the TVA to crumble, or take over the TVA and run it as they see fit. The catch is that, if they choose to kill HWR, there will be nothing stopping his more malevolent variants from rising to resume their conquest of the multiverse.

Loki, who has been changed by his recent experiences, somehow manages to be the most level head in the room. He suggests taking over the TVA, and figuring the rest out later. Sylvie, who has been unable to move past her need for revenge and her inability to trust others, believes the Loki simply wants another throne. They fight, Loki attempts to explain his true intentions, but he is ultimately lured into a trap with a kiss, and pushed through a portal back to the TVA.

Sylvie then fulfills her lifelong goal, and kills HWR. Though HWR’s dying words of “See you soon” come to fruition almost immediately. Back at the TVA, Loki tried to alert Moebius and some other allies of the impending apocalyptic threat. But they don’t even remember who Loki is, and Loki then turns to see a massive statue of Kang The Conqueror looming over the TVA.

Loki season two was officially announced in a mid-credits tease, and there are some interesting questions to answer, aside from the obvious “How screwed is the multiverse with evil Kang variants unleashed?” We have Sylvie left alone in a castle at the end of time, with no idea of what comes next after claiming her vengeance. I didn’t mention the TVA red tape big wig Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) fleeing the scene through a portal in search of (what one has to assume) a Kang variant who can get her back high up on the food chain. And we have a desperate Loki and an oblivious Moebius at the TVA, in ground zero of Kang’s kingdom.

But, putting away any future talk for the moment, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is now the most fully-realized, and complex version of the character we’ve seen since he first appeared in 2011’s Thor. The show looked great, had a great, sci-fi, synthy score, was strongly written, and wonderfully directed. Much like it was with WandaVision and Thor: Ragnarok before it, the Loki series has taken a character who many MCU fans felt had run his or her course, and made that character more interesting than they ever were before. It’s a new trick for the MCU in a bag full of them, and I cannot wait to see what happens next.






Re-Heating Hannibal

When Hannibal aired on NBC from 2013-2015 it was unlike anything seen before on network television. Which is to say that the gore in Hannibal, as artistically as it was presented, seemed very out-of-place on NBC. In truth, this was probably an intentional move by the network to compete with the shows on HBO, AMC, and then-upstart Netflix who were all providing more graphically adult content. But, don’t be mistaken, as gruesome as the visuals were, they were beautifully-rendered in their own way. This artistry was just as rare on network TV as any grisly crime scene.

Heavily serialized weekly shows were also a bit of a rarity on the networks at the time This is something that Netflix ended up using to its advantage by dropping entire seasons at a time and allowing viewers to binge at their own rate, rather than waiting several months to see a conclusion to any given storyline. All told, if Hannibal were released now, as artistically bloody and serialized as it was, it would be much better served on a streaming platform such as the aforementioned Netflix or Amazon Prime. As it happens, the entire three season run is currently available on both those services. I’ve been meaning to re-visit the show for some time now, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to watch Hannibal as I believe it was intended. I was not disappointed.

Fair Warning: I am going to run through the events all three seasons of Hannibal, so there will be spoilers. Proceed with caution if you are interested in watching this show for the first time with fresh eyes.

Thomas Harris’ fictional philosopher/serial killer/erstwhile cannibal Hannibal Lecter has been part of the widespread public lexicon for more than 30 years. Silence Of The Lambs was a massively-successful, Academy Award and Box Office winning film that made Lecter an icon. Though 1986’s Manhunter, which was based on Harris’ novel Red Dragon, was actually the first cinematic interpretation of the character. After Silence Of The Lambs, a sub-par sequel novel was written and movie was filmed, also titled Hannibal. After which we got a since-forgotten prequel called Hannibal Rising, and an ambitionless remake of the original adaptation of Red Dragon.

That’s a lot of source material, but here’s the good news: You don’t need to have read or seen any of those works in order to jump into Hannibal: The Series. Yes, you’ll get more out of the Easter Eggs and such if you are familiar, but the show is not beholden to any pre-existing continuity. In fact, it frequently undercuts expectations by throwing a new twist on the way events occurred in the novels and films. This both benefits and, in one particular instance, harms the show. But we’ll get to that latter issue further along.

Silence Of The Lambs is built around the relationship between Lecter and young FBI agent Clarice Starling. Their interplay is very much one between an older mentor and a somewhat reluctant protégé. But, before Agent Starling, there was Will Graham. Graham was the protagonist in the Red Dragon novel, and subsequent film adaptations. He was the man responsible for putting Lecter in that iconic plexiglass cell everyone remembers from Silence Of The Lambs. Apparently, the rights issues for Thomas Harris’ characters are a bit of a mess, so Hannibal: The Series could not make mention of Clarice Starling, even if they’d wanted to. However, they do introduce a Clarice analog in equally-young FBI Agent Miriam Lass. Things don’t work out quite as well for Miriam as they did for Clarice when she is brought into Lecter’s orbit. It’s an interesting, and tragic, dichotomy that very effectively sweeps the legs out from under the viewers’ expectations.

The lack of Clarice didn’t really bother me, since I’d always found Will more interesting than Clarice in that he was meant to be more of an equal to Lecter. The Sherlock Holmes to his Moriarty. What drew me to Hannibal in the first place was the announcement that Will and Lecter would essentially be co-leads in the show. They famously never shared more than a few pages, or a few minutes of screentime, together. So that relationship was ripe for exploring.

Hannibal Lecter is a brilliant psychiatrist, social butterfly, sociopath, murderer and cannibal. Will Graham is brilliant in his own way, but the cost of his brilliance is a near-superhuman level of empathy. That’s what allows Will to get into the minds of the killers that he profiles for his boss, Special Agent Jack Crawford, to bring to justice. For a man with no legitimate connection to his fellow human beings, as Lecter is, Will is something of a unicorn. That push-and-pull is the essence of their relationship as the show progresses.

What follows below here is essentially a summary of each of the three season of Hannibal. They won’t be especially deep dives into the episodes, but they will include major spoilers for the overall arcs of the seasons. So, consider this your final spoiler warning.

Season One plays the most like a procedural show that you might typically see on NBC, even though it did have its flourishes. Hannibal Lecter is a practicing, and renowned psychiatrist, who no one suspects is murdering and eating people – though he is very much already doing both of those things. Will Graham is coming off a case where, as we see in the pilot episode, he shoots and kills a different cannibalistic serial killer. Will is traumatized by the whole experience, and so Jack Crawford sets him up with Dr. Lecter to help manage the toll that Will’s profiling work takes on him. Needless to say, this ends up being a terrible decision.

Throughout the season, Will uses his gift to track down serial killers who commit the most atrocious and horrifying of crimes. What’s interesting is how the final result of many of these murders are presented as works of art. The production design and framing are darkly beautiful, at least until they pull back and show you the horrific entirety of what you’re looking at. A similar style is used when showing Lecter’s food preparation. Everything he makes, set to the tune of popular classical music compositions, looks more delicious than anything you’d see on the Food Network. “Food Porn” is a term I saw applied more than once, even though the viewer knows damn well that the meat used for the recipes is not the sort you could purchase at Whole Foods or Shop-Rite.

After each case Lecter spends a little time helping Will manage, while spending a lot more time trying to dissect Will’s psyche and find out what makes him tick. This is the most serialized part of the first season, Will is helping track down the elusive “Chesapeake Ripper” (aka: Dr. Hannibal Lecter) but not getting close, even though he’s sitting right across from him in therapy. Will also begins acting stranger as the season goes on, losing time, hallucinating, and otherwise losing his grip on reality. Only Lecter knows that Will is suffering from encephalitis, but he doesn’t share that knowledge as that would interfere with his curious mental experiments on Will.

Eventually, Will puts things together and realizes that Lecter is the Ripper. But, by the time he confronts him, Lecter has already framed Will as the Ripper. Will’s mental health is already so ravaged that he’s unable to effectively stop Lecter before Jack steps in and arrests him. The season ends with a twist on the popular “Hello Dr. Lecter” greeting that, to this point, was offered to Lecter in his cell. But, in this case, Lecter is the one standing outside the cell, while Will is locked up.

Season Two takes the serialization to the next level. Will spends the first half of the season, finally free of the encephalitis and thinking clearly, trying to figure out how to acquit himself while convincing all of his FBI colleagues that Lecter is the Ripper they’re hunting. It somewhat stretches credibility that everyone is so sure Will is the Ripper, and that Lecter could not possibly be anything more than he appears on the surface. This is especially egregious with the character of Dr. Alana Bloom, another psychiatrist who played a pretty important role in season one. But, in season two, she is depicted as so blindly believing in Lecter’s innocence that she begins a romantic relationship with him while wagging her finger at Will. It’s a bad character turn that is overcorrected a little in season three.

One thing that season two does better than season one is show the viewer some aspects of Lecter’s insanity that actually create a weaknesses in his armor. For one thing, he cannot stop killing and eating people, which undermines the case against Will, and ultimately leads to Will’s release. Will takes this opportunity to finally convince Jack that Lecter is the Ripper, and the two of them conspire to lure Lecter into a trap using Will as bait.

Lecter’s twisted, yet genuine, love (for lack of a better term) for Will is another of his weaknesses – eventually, this will prove to be his greatest weakness. Will and Lecter engage in a very interesting game of Cat-And-Cat as they re-engage as doctor and patient, only now with both knowing the other’s true selves. Lecter does manage to avoid saying anything direction actionable from a legal level, but he’s also no longer attempting to play Will for a fool. Thus, they finally become more like equals. This makes up most of the second half of season two, and really provides a tense and thrilling propulsion for the remaining episodes.

Lecter’s other symptom of madness is demonstrated by sharing his table with Will and Jack, not knowing that Jack is working with Will to bring him down. Lecter is happy to maintain the illusion that everything is still normal about their interactions, while providing meals and polite conversations. One might expect that, since Will openly acknowledges Lecter as the Ripper, he may have looped Jack in. But Lecter has the pathological need to believe that his mask is still fully functional. This allows Jack and Will to get close enough to spring their trap. Unfortunately, Jack’s boss shuts their plan down shortly before they could complete their sting operation.

The finale of season two is fantastic up until its final moments. I don’t recall the real world circumstances surrounding the show, though there had been some doubt cast regarding a third season pick-up. It seems likely that Hannibal received a late season three renewal or, possibly, a higher episode count for season three than they were expecting. That would account for the finale ending in a massive cliffhanger, rather than with any sort of closure. Or, it’s possible that my expectations were too colored by the source material, and therefore I was left hanging for a last moment that never came, leaving me massively disappointed.

For those unfamiliar with the events leading to Lecter’s capture in the books, and previous films: Lecter stabs Will in the gut, and goes to leave. But Will is able to shoot Lecter before he makes his escape allowing his back-up to arrive and take Lecter into custody while Will goes to the hospital. The season two finale plays out almost exactly in this manner. An added aspect is Jack Crawford fighting Lecter before Will’s arrival, and receiving a grievous injury of his own. Will shows up and gets stabbed by Lecter, who simply walks away from the scene of the crime. No gun shots. No capture. The season just ends with Jack and Will bleeding to death in Lecter’s fancy kitchen.

They do not die, however, because there is a season three. The final season has 13 episodes, and the first seven of those episodes are, in my opinion, the worst seven episodes of the show. Lecter is in Florence, Italy living the good life under an assumed identity while occasionally killing and eating his intellectual rivals. Will and Jack, both recovered, are hunting him separately. Each of these episodes are extremely methodical and dreamy. The scenery is absolutely lovely, and the production design is as lush as it ever was. But the story lacks any forward momentum whatsoever.

In the background of things, Mason Verger is seeking vengeance against Lecter after being drugged and convinced to mutilate his own face at the end of season two. Alana Bloom is by Verger’s side, as she is his sister Margot’s lover. Dr. Bloom dresses like a character from a Tim Burton movie, and is presented as much more cold and stern that in the previous seasons. As I mentioned above, I feel like this was an overcorrection from her season two arc. Regardless, the arc of these episodes involves Will, Jack, and Mason in a race with one another to see who can get to Lecter first.

Will manages to get to the same place at the same time as Lecter first, but Lecter manages to avoid a face-to-face confrontation. Jack tracks Lecter down next, just after Lecter disembowels an Italian police officer on Mason’s payroll, and beats the crap out of him as a receipt for the events of season two. But he misses out on his chance to finish the job on Lecter once and for all. Eventually, several other officers collect the bounty on Lecter, and bring in Will as well. This leads the action back stateside, where Lecter and Will end up prisoners at the Verger Estate.

Alana and Margot’s interests are in direct contrast to Mason’s, which leads to them helping Lecter and Will escape, while killing Mason. Lecter brings Will back home, where Will attempts to extricate himself from Lecter once and for all. In no condition to try to physically end Lecter, Will does the next best thing and tells the mad doctor that he is making the choice to completely remove him from his life in every way. Lecter seems genuinely hurt by Will’s words, as he still feels a powerful kinship with Will. Rather than disappearing from Will’s life, Lecter surrenders to Jack Crawford. His explanation being that, this way, Will will always know where he is and where to find him. Lecter considers this a victory but, as we learn later in season three, Will had anticipated Lecter’s response. Will later says to Lecter “I knew that if I’d kept chasing you, you would have kept running.” Instead, by rejecting him, Will allowed Lecter to seal his own fate while thinking he was getting the last laugh.

This leads to the final six episodes of season three and (as of this moment) the show as a whole. The creative team uses this opportunity to remake Red Dragon for a third time. Had season two ended with Lecter shot and captured, the logical start of season three would have been episode 8. This is why I theorize that the season three renewal and 13 count episode order were somewhat unexpected. If Hannibal had gone from the season two finale directly into Red Dragon, I would have considered it amongst the strongest 20 episode run of any TV show ever. As it stands, I do believe that Hannibal’s telling of this story is significantly better than the Red Dragon film from 2002, and even a little bit better than Manhunter – which is a movie I like quite a lot.

Episode 8 picks up three years after the events of episode 7. Hannibal Lecter is securely locked up, with Alana Bloom as his primary warden. Will Graham is happily married, seemingly retired, and trying his best to be a good stepdad. Jack Crawford is still at his FBI post, and has a big problem. A new serial killer, one who murders entire families, is at-large and he needs Will to come back to help hunt the killer, dubbed by the media as the Tooth Fairy, down. Will is reluctant, but his wife – Molly – knows that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t try to stop the Tooth Fairy before he kills again. So, Will comes back into the fray, and starts by visiting Lecter for the first time since he was imprisoned in order to get the scent back. Lecter is very pleased to see Will again, but the feeling is most certainly not mutual. He agrees to help, though both he and Will know that he will only help to the extent of his own amusement.

The Tooth Fairy is a man named Francis Dollarhyde, given that nickname due to the bite marks he leaves on some of his victims. He hates the name, as he sees himself more as a man transforming into a dragon. His psychosis is tied in some way to the famous William Blake painting “The Great Red Dragon And The Woman Clothed With The Sun” hence the name of the novel. We spend a fairly significant amount of time with Dollarhyde, who’s pretty terrifying but not what I’d call an overtly interesting character. Even though there is a creepy love story involving him and his blind co-worker, Dollarhyde is ultimately meant to serve as the Minotaur in the center of the labyrinth for Will.

Lecter doesn’t see Dollarhyde as a monster. In fact, a recurring theme with Lecter through the previous seasons is him encouraging serial killers to become the best, most interesting serial killer they can be. He even tried, to no avail up until this point, to make Will Graham into a murder. His relationship with Dollarhyde proceeds much along the same lines. Lecter is quite famous – more accurately infamous – by this point, having earned his new title Hannibal The Cannibal, and Dollarhyde tells him that he served as an inspiration for his own transformation. Lecter is flattered by this, and sees an opportunity to the Dollarhyde as the protégé than Will was never willing to be.

By the end of season three, two seemingly unconnected things happen: Lecter sends Dollarhyde to kill Will’s wife and stepson. But Molly is tougher than she looks, and manages to escape with her son. As Will becomes more determined than ever to stop Dollarhyde by whatever means necessary, he also accepts the shocking truth that Hannibal Lecter is in love with him. At least as much as someone like Lecter can love another person. Will decides to use this to put together one last plan with Jack Crawford: Stage a fake escape for Lecter, who will connect with Dollarhyde – who intends kill and eat Lecter to gain his strength – giving the FBI a chance to then kill Dollarhyde. The idea being to kill two monstrous birds with one stone.

Naturally, this plan backfires as Dollarhyde intercedes before they were ready for him, and breaks Lecter out for real. Lecter then bring Will along to a lovely, isolated, cliffside home. The assumption being that Dollarhyde will track them there to kill them. This assumption is correct, and Dollarhyde makes his entrance by shooting Lecter through the glass wall in the back. Will steps aside and allows Dollarhyde to proceed with his plan to kill Lecter. But then Dollarhyde – his psychic transformation into the Dragon clearly leading him to overestimate his abilities – attempts to take on Will and Lecter at the same time.

After a brutal fight that ends with Lecter and Will (again) grievously injured, the pair manages to kill Dollarhyde while atop the cliff. Lecter helps Will to his feet, and embraces him at the edge of the cliff, confessing “This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.” It may be the only moment of pure honesty Lecter demonstrates through the entire run of the series. Will knows this, and realizes that Lecter has completely let his guard down with him for the first time. Will then takes the opportunity to wrap his free arm tightly around Lecter’s neck, and launch them both off the cliff to the raging sea below to their apparent deaths. It may have cost Will his own life, but he did accomplish his goal of ridding the world of both Dollarhyde and Lecter.

Now, there is a post-credits sequence that is left somewhat open to interpretation. Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, Lecter’s psychiatrist who had proven to be nearly as twisted as him, is dressed up at a dinner table about to be served her own severed leg. If the show had been renewed for a fourth season, this would have seemingly been the way to confirm that Lecter – and likely Will – survived their dive off the cliff. But it was never renewed for another season, or even a standalone movie, so one could just as easily interpret this sequence in another way. Du Maurier was Lecter’s accomplice for several months after he escaped to Florence as she wished to study him in his natural habitat. She managed to escape justice through her own machinations after Lecter turned himself in. But her mind was riddled with paranoia, so it could also be assumed that – if Lecter’s body was never found – she entered a fugue state, and prepared her own leg for dinner. It’s a bit more of a stretch, but is easy enough to sell yourself on if you’re looking for a bit more closure on the story that will likely not be continued.

If you’ve read this far, then you clearly have an interest in the show. Hell, the spoilers in this article may even convince you that you won’t be wasting 40 hours on something lackluster. The devil is in the details, as they say, and Hannibal is absolutely a devil worth getting the know the details of. I’ve mentioned the lush production design at the top but, honestly, every part of the production was phenomenal. The writing is sharp, clever, and offers more-than-a-little gallows humor. The directing of each episode is top notch, and the cast is fantastic from the top billed stars, all the way down to the one-off guest stars.

In this era of endless streaming platforms, and the primary cast being pretty open to the idea of reviving the show in – even six years after the final episode aired – there is always a chance that we get more in some fashion. Hell, CBS has already delved back into the IP with their show Clarice starring – you guess it – Clarice Starling, the Thomas Harris brand is still well in-demand. Hannibal ran only 39 episodes, out of which there were only a handful that underwhelmed. Believe me when I say you can, and should, binge this series in a week. If nothing else, it will allow your imagination to run wild next time you watch anything on Food Network.

Jedi Mercy?

The Obi Wan Kenobi series on Disney+ is bringing back Hayden Christensen to presumably play some version of Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader. The questions are how and why.

The is all purely speculation on my part, but the how is very likely in some sort of guilt-and-loneliness-induced vision. Spending twenty years living in a cave on Tatooine after a lifetime of high adventure as a military commander and Jedi Knight is clearly not going to be an easy endeavor. So, using his memories to bring back the ghost of his best friend seems like a reasonable response for Obi Wan. But there’s one particular question I have, that may not have as simple an answer as one might think: Why did Obi Wan leave Anakin/Vader burning alive in the lava pits of Mustafar?

Was he unable to bring himself to kill the man he’d considered a brother? It’s possible. But, after watching the man he thought he knew effectively kill Amidala along with many Padawan children in the Jedi Temple, Obi Wan knew very well that the Sith Lord lying in the flames was no longer Anakin Skywalker. And Obi Wan knew very well that Darth Vader would do nothing less that cause mass death and destruction at the behest of his master, Darth Sidious. Ending this one life likely would have saved millions more.

Obi Wan Kenobi is an old school honorable man, but he’s also proven to be a realist in many instances. He had very sensible doubts about Qui Gon Jinn taking on young Anakin. He very distastefully used a blast to kill General Grievous. And, when he knew he was too old to fight at Luke Skywalker’s side, he allowed himself to be slain by Vader in order to continue helping Luke the best way he could: As a Force Ghost.

Back to the honorable man argument: Would killing a defeated opponent violate the Jedi Code? Very likely, yes. But he had just dismembered Vader, and left him burning alive alongside a river of lava. Wouldn’t it have been more merciful to just finish him off, rather than allowing him to suffer a slow, torturous death on the burning sands? Was it truly more ethical to leave Vader like that?

There’s not even a question of how, practically-speaking, Obi Wan could have finished off Vader. He would have just used the force to lift Vader off the sand, and levitate him over to take his head off. Every part of that was within Obi Wan’s power to accomplish.

Here’s a much more interesting theory: Did Obi Wan leave Vader alive to provide Darth Sidious with his prize? As damaged as Vader was after the duel with Obi Wan, that did not change the fact that Sidious invested more than a decade grooming Anakin via gaslighting and other temptations. He spent a whole lot of effort over a great amount of time poisoning Anakin’s mind to the point where he would willingly choose the Dark Side over the Jedi Order, and one couldn’t doubt just how determined Sidious was to turn The Chosen One over to his cause.

Obi Wan knew this just as well as he knew that Anakin’s and Padme’s children would shine like a beacon to Sidious if he’d had any desire to seek them out. With Vader by his side, Sidious had no reason to actively search for another apprentice. If he had been so inclined, he may well have found Luke and/or Leia before they were ready to defend themselves against him in any capacity. But Sidious had the prize that he had longed for, and set about his quest to consolidate power, and conquer the galaxy.

It’s possible that Sidious may not have been able to complete his conquest without Vader by his side. But Obi Wan had little reason to think that the evil Sith emperor was lacking in the resources necessary to accomplish his goal, with or without Vader. So, he used Darth Vader as a shield to protect Anakin Skywalker’s children until the time came where they would be capable of ending Darth Sidious’ reign.

I may be totally off-the-mark here, and Disney+ may really just be bringing Hayden Christensen back to get a little nostalgia bump. Or, maybe they actually want to give him a chance to play the role of Anakin/Vader with a more competent filmmaker than 1999-2005 George Lucas, and thus redeem himself from the bad reputation that he got saddled with due to the prequel trilogy. But they do have the chance to do something really cool, and really emotional when they get Christensen and Ewan McGregor back on-screen together for the first time in more than fifteen years. I hope they ask the question that I have here, and I hope the answer is at least as interesting as my theory. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.

The Falcon And The Winter Soldier Season Recap: Who Wields The Shield?

This past Friday, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier completed the sixth episode of its first (and possibly only) season. There have been a million reviews and recaps already, so I’ll be doing my season recap by way of the primary characters’ story arcs. As noted, this is a season recap, so you’ll no doubt find spoiler a-plenty below. Please do not continue any further down unless you’re cool with that.

Sam Wilson – Despite being – to perhaps because of being – the character that the show revolved around, Sam didn’t have much of an arc. This was mainly because the distance between being Falcon and becoming Captain America was not very far, as Sam Wilson had already proven himself a worthy successor to Steve Rogers. The trick was getting him to believe that.

Sam started out the season as a freelance military contractor after getting a “helped defeat Thanos” pardon for his actions in Captain America: Civil War. After being bequeathed Steve Rogers’ shield, he promptly turned it into the Smithsonian, as he didn’t believe there could, or should, every be another Captain America. This sort of pessimistic outlook was exacerbated by being turned down for a bank loan to save his family’s fishing boat, despite being a world-saving Avenger.

Once his friend Torres filled him in on a revolutionary group called the Flag Smashers, Sam reconnected with Bucky Barnes for help taking them down. Unbeknownst to Sam at the time, this reunion set him on a path to where he needed to be. Once he was made aware of the Flag Smashers’ agenda, Sam’s plan all along was to try and quell the group using non-violent means. This didn’t quite line up with Barnes’ plan, and was very far way from newly-government-issued Captain America, John Walker’s, methods. But it also displayed an example of why Steve chose Sam to carry on the Captain America mantle.

Upon learning they were super soldiers, Barnes took Sam to visit the only remaining super solider he was aware of: Isaiah Bradley. The plan was to find out how there could be more super soldiers out there, but the revelations of the American government’s crimes against Bradley only further cemented Sam’s belief that Captain America had no real place in the modern world. A belief that was continually reinforced by John Walker’s series of failures and crimes (which we’ll discuss further when we get to Walker later).

When Sam was finally able to confront Karli Morganthau, the leader of the Flag Smashers, Sam did what he actually does best: He made a connection with her. This was a reminder that Sam Wilson does have super powers of sort, and empathy is one of them. When he and Barnes finally have time to bond, and truly get to understand one another without having to rush from one fight to the next, we are shown a great example of Sam’s other super power: His ability to see the best in people, and make them see that in themselves. With some tough love, Sam is able to break through what’s left of Bucky’s hard exterior, and help him understand what he really needs to do if he wants to make peace with his past and himself.

In return Barnes brings him a new uniform, complete with new Vibranium wings (as his original wings were ripped off by Walker during their fight) courtesy of the White Wolf’s friends in Wakanda. By the time the Flag Smashers make their final move to kill everyone on the Global Relocation Council (GRC), Sam is there in his new Captain America gear to stop them. The world is watching as Sam dons the stars and strips, stops the Flag Smashers, and demands that the senators of the GRC do better to make things right for all the people of the world. After claiming the mantle, and shield, on his own terms, Sam has convinced everyone – including Isaiah Bradley and himself – that the world does still need Captain America. Just as long as the right person wields the shield.

James Buchanan Barnes – Like Sam, Bucky was also given a fresh start with the “helped defeat Thanos” pardon, and is working with a government-appointed therapist to make amends for his deeds as the Winter Soldier. This mainly involves helping to take down the people who were placed into power by Hydra sending in the Winter Soldier to do their dirty work. He has a sort of mission of sorts, but no personal connections to the world. The only people we see him interact with are an elderly man whose son he murdered as the Winter Soldier, and a bartender he flees a date with because he simply does not know how to be with regular people.

He seeks out Sam after Sam gives up the shield, which is subsequently given to John Walker by the government. He’s angry at Sam for handing the shield over, since their mutual best friend Steve Rogers designated him as the man to carry on the Captain America legacy. But, really, he’s angry because if Steve was wrong about Sam being the right person to take up the mantle, then Steve may also have been wrong about Barnes deserving redemption for his deeds while under Hydra’s control. Despite this tension, he and Sam start working together the take down the Flag Smashers.

Along the way, we discover that Barnes did make a strong connection with the Wakandans who sheltered him, and cured him of Hydra’s brain-washing. Most notably Ayo, a member of the Dora Milaje, shows up to collect Baron Zemo, after Barnes and Sam broke him out of prison for help, clearly share a bond with Bucky. This demonstrates that he is still capable of connecting with people, just as long as he doesn’t need to hide the dark deeds of his past from them. While seeing Ayo again helps Barnes come out of his shell a little, it’s not until he and Sam have a chance to stop fighting that he finds the sort of personal connection that he’s been missing.

After finally setting their issues with one another aside, Sam and Bucky defeat John Walker, and take the shield from him. At that point, with no other active leads to follow, they travel to Sam’s hometown for some good old fashioned bonding. Spending time with Sam’s family, and closest friends, helps Barnes find the true man inside the Winter Soldier, and bring him back to the surface. Sam also helps him realize that, to truly make amends, he needs to stop hunting bad guys that he helped, and start seeking out the people he hurt to give them the peace-of-mind that only he can. He admits to Sam that he and Steve could never fully understand what it would mean to a black man to be Captain America when they discussed passing the shield onto him. While, at the same time, he provides Sam with his own version of the Captain America uniform. Notably, he only gives Sam a locked suitcase from Wakanda, and leaves it up to Sam to decide if and when he opens it.

In the end, Barnes has found his true mission as well as his new family. The former is to find his own peace by giving peace-of-mind to the ancillary victims of the Winter Soldier’s crimes, while continuing to fight by Captain America’s side. As a benefit of the latter, Bucky now also gets invited to awesome cookouts and block parties at Sam’s place. With a new social support network, Barnes’ has started living the sort of life he had not led since before shipping off to World War II.

Bucky’s arc took him to a much better personal place but, in many ways, he’s still a work-in-progress. This is probably why the title card at the ends of the season read “Captain America and the Winter Soldier” rather than “Captain America and the White Wolf” but I believe we’ll still get there in a forthcoming movie, or second season. Perhaps one that will further explore his connection to Wakanda, where he was able to break free of the Winter Soldier programming, and was given that other cool nickname that doesn’t come with all the baggage.

John Walker – Walker started off the season as a slap-in-the-face to Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson in his knock-off Captain America uniform. He then was proven to be a joke by failing on each of his first missions, partly because he was trying to deal with super soldiers while not having the same physical gifts as Rogers. His lack of worth was further accentuated by the fact that he displayed neither the gift of empathy, nor the ability to inspiration, that Steve and Sam shared.

He was able to match his physical self up to his self-perceived level of due respect by injecting himself with a dose of super solider serum. But his actions in the immediate aftermath completely struck home the personal failings that made him unworthy to wield the shield, as he publicly executed a member of the Flag Smashers who was surrendering to him. He has his rank and charge removed during his trial for the murder of a Flag Smasher, but this does not dim his misguided belief in himself.

While he had done nothing to deserve redemption for his crime, he does ultimately help Sam and Bucky stop the Flag Smashers’ plan to murder the GRC. He also defers to Sam’s proper claim to the shield when he sees him demonstrate, firsthand, the traits and values that Captain America needs to represent. However, rather than continuing on his path to better himself, Walker promptly signs up with the enigmatic Valentina Allegra de Fontaine to join her mysterious organization as the U.S Agent.

This pretty much puts him back as square one as the incognizant cog in someone else’s machine. I found Walker’s arc interesting until the season finale when it seemed to abruptly end in a manner that seemed far too tidy for him. We’ll definitely be seeing more of John Walker in the future, so hopefully we get a more fitting payoff at that time.

Sharon Carter – Sharon’s onscreen role was much smaller than expected when going by the promotional materials, and her spots in Captain America: The Winter Solider as well as Captain America: Civil War. Offscreen, however, as the Power Broker, she played a big part in orchestrating many of the events that propelled the story forward. Her character arc, however, played out before the start of this show.

Not having received the “helped defeat Thanos” pardon that the fellas enjoy, since she apparently didn’t have access to one of those handy sorcerer portals at the time, she had been a fugitive from the United States government for the past five years. Sharon felt that she chose the right side, by joining Steve Rogers’ team against Tony Stark’s in the Avengers’ Civil War. Embittered by receiving this treatment despite years of service to the government, an sensing an opportunity in the power vacuum that ensued from half the criminals on the planet turning to dust, she became the Power Broker.

Or so we have to assume, as the show never provided us with the specifics of Sharon’s situation. This was one of the biggest disappointments of the show for me. But, like John Walker, we’re sure to see Sharon again. Hopefully, we’ll get to learn her whole story then as well.

Baron Helmut Zemo – Zemo was another character whose arc happened in the years between Civil War War and Endgame. He’s no longer a vengeance-driven force of destruction aimed directly at the Avengers. When he’s re-introduced to us, he’s an enlightened fugitive millionaire playboy who’s the most charismatic character every time he’s onscreen. He helps Sam and Barnes in their mission, as it aligns with his own mission to rid to world of enhanced individuals. And he manages to evade capture by the Dora Millaje until he’s good and ready to get captured.

His Plan A seemed to be getting shot in the face by Bucky, which was also how he wanted to end his Civil War plan, until Black Panther thwarted his suicide attempt. But Barnes is well-past his Winter Soldier days, and chooses to hand Zemo over to the Dora Millaje rather than killing him. They end up taking him to The Raft supervillain prison, though his loyal butler/manservant completes his mission for him by blowing up the remaining Flag Smashers after they are taken into custody. This establishes that Zemo is very capable of being dangerous even from behind bars. He may have been the most consistent highlight of the show, so I look forward to seeing more of him in future projects.

Karli Morganthau – Karli was pretty much done dirty through the run of the show. She was made into less of a character, and more of a human stand-in for a valid ideology taken to extremes. Some efforts were made to humanize her, such as her conversation with Sam before Walker crashed the party. But nothing truly enlightened us to who she was as person. We were given the broad-strokes of the Flag Smashers’ belief system: That the GRC were destroying the lives people built for themselves during the five years where half the population was gone. The viewers were given space to agree, or disagree, with this stance, and I chose the former.

The issue with Karli, was the she was the one pushing the group toward escalating violence, but we were never told the reason why. Was there some deeper, personal tragedy tied to the way her family was treated by the GRC? Was she simply someone with a history of violence who was drawn to the Flag Smashers’ mission, assuming it would give her to opportunity to indulge her more destructive tendencies? It’s impossible to say since, even given six hours to work with, Karli was never allowed to be anything approaching a fully-formed character.

As a whole, I really enjoyed The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. It was great spending time with Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes again, and watching them form the sort of bond that they’ll need to rebuild the Avengers and lead them into whatever cataclysmic threat rises next.

But, more than that, it was great seeing Marvel embrace the legacy of one of their most beloved characters. They passed the mantle onto Sam Wilson, a character who stands for millions of people who spent far too long not being allowed to see themselves in the greatest superheroes ever created.

A fourth Captain America movie was announced with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s showrunner writing the script. I am greatly looking forward to seeing where they take these characters next. Steve Rogers was my favorite character in the first three phases of the MCU. It would not surprise me in the least is Sam Wilson ensures that Captain America retains that spot for me through the next phase.

10 For The Playlist – Vol 2

Time for another round of tunes that I love, and would like to share with more people who may not have heard them yet. So, without further adieu.

Suzanne – Journey – Pure, unadulterated ’80’s Pop Rock. This gets off on the jump with pulsing synthesizers, and doesn’t take a moment to slow down. Journey doesn’t need any ink from me, since everyone already knows all the lyrics to a couple of their songs, and gleefully sing along in pubs across the world. But “Suzanne” is a bit lesser know than their big hits, though it’s message of pining for a lost love who may not even remember your name is a sentiment most everyone can related to.

Favorite Lyric – “I wonder if you’re really happy / And if you saw me, would you know my name / I’m the one you used to hold onto / You’re the one who used to wear my ring / Remember our last September”

For Me This Is Heaven – Jimmy Eat World – Young love by way of Emo-Rock in full effect. A song about watching the stars with someone, and counting the minutes that you have with them before having to part. The butterflies never really leave your stomach until you’re with them again.

Favorite Lyrics – “When the time we have now ends / And when the big hand goes round again / Can you still feel the butterflies? / Can you still hear the last goodnight”

Poison & Wine – The Civil Wars – A lovely duet telling you that love can be complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth sticking around for. Times can get tough, and the better you know someone, the better you know how to hurt them. But you still regret it every time, because the reason you know them so well, is because you’ve been with them for so long. And you’ve been with them for so long, because you love them, and can’t stand to be without them.

Favorite Lyric – “Oh, your hands can heal / Your hands can bruise / I don’t have a choice / But I’d still choose you”

Breathe In Breathe Out – Mat Kearney – Starts low, and slow, only to build up to a cathartic confirmation of love. This sounds like the greatest Coldplay song that Coldplay never recorded and, frankly, better than just about anything they have.

Favorite Lyrics – “We push and pull / And I fall down sometimes / I’m not letting go / You hold the other line / Cause there is a light in your eyes / In your eyes”

I Choose You – Sara Bareilles – A simple love song that may not have been written with a parent’s love for their child in-mind, but I first heard it after my oldest was born, so that’s where it landed for me. As the song says, it’s impossible to truly be prepared for parenthood, and that makes it really scary. But there’s nothing more rewarding in the world than overcoming your fears, and doing right by your kids.

Favorite Lyrics – “I am not scared of the elements / I am under-prepared, but I am willing / And even better / I get to be the other half of you”

The Secret Of My Success – Night Ranger – From a band best know for “Sister Christian” and a soundtrack from the most overlooked of Michael J. Fox’s peak 1980’s trilogy (the two more well-known movies being “Back To The Future” and “Teen Wolf”) this is pure ’80’s excess hair metal. I mis-heard the part of the chorus that goes “The secret of my success is that I’m living / Twenty-Five hours a day” as” “The secret of my success is that I’m doing / Twenty-Five pounds of cocaine” But, frankly, it works just as well. If not better.

Favorite Lyrics – “Worlds collide / And hearts will be broken / Over and over / It’s the same every day”

I Will Survive – Cheap Trick – No, not the disco megahit from Gloria Gaynor. And from the hit film “Gladiator”, but not the Oscar winning blockbuster starring Russell Crowe. It’s the one from 1990 about an underground boxing tournament starring the guy from Twin Peaks (not that guy), Brian Dennehy, and a young Cuba Gooding, Jr. Just trust me, if you’re feeling down and need a little pep in your step, this song should do the trick.

Favorite Lyrics – “You think you’re shaking my innocence / But you’re wasting time / ‘Cause you don’t know who I am”

Icehouse – Icehouse – An atmospheric, new wave, horror, folk tale if taken at face value. A metaphor for unrequited, or lost love to a less literal interpretation. My favorite song by Icehouse will always be the new wave adrenaline shot of “Electric Blue” but this is the song they named their band after (or vice versa) so it’s clearly important to them as well.

Favorite Lyrics – “The devil lives inside the icehouse / At least that’s what the old ones say / He came a long time ago / He came in the winter snow / Now it’s colder every day”

Stolen – Dashboard Confessional – A song about capturing that little bit of love and beauty while you can, before it fades like the seasons. A sepia-toned flashback of a song from when I was younger, and love was more fleeting. It sounds like the bittersweet end of summer captured in three minutes.

Favorite Lyrics – “We watch the season pull up its own stakes / And catch the last weekend of the last week / Before the gold and glimmer have been replaced / Another sun soaked season fades away”

Breathe – Michelle Branch – The argument you have with yourself when you can’t seem to say what you really mean to the person you love wrapped up in pop-rock with a hook that keeps pulling you back in. Michelle Branch has had bigger hits, but this one is my personal favorite.

Favorite Lyrics – “So just give me one good reason / Tell me why I should stay / ‘Cause I don’t want to waste another moment / Saying things we never meant to say”

Godzilla vs Kong, Or Why Can’t Everyone Just Chill And Let Kong Do Kong?

This will be my review of Godzilla vs Kong, so be warned that there will be spoilers-a-plenty below.

One thing that is not really a spoiler is that the movie is told primarily thought Kong’s perspective and he is, in every measurable way, the main protagonist of the film. The movie follows him around, and gives him the biggest story arc. While Godzilla shows up throughout the movie to do Godzilla things, it’s clear that Kong is the audience surrogate, which somewhat miraculously works really well. As such, I’ll be writing this review mainly through Kong’s perspective.

When we last saw Kong, it was was 1970’s, and he was left to his own devices on Skull Island. But thing have changed a lot since then, and we get some details about those changes through expository dialogue. As you may recall from Kong: Skull Island, there was a massive superstorm that surrounded the island, while never really making landfall. Apparently, that changed, and the storm began tearing up the island itself. In order to keep Kong safe for observation, Monarch (the Kaiju experts from previous Monsterverse films) built a giant dome around a section of Skull Island.

This makes sense in that Kong can remain, more or less, in his natural habitat while the scientists observe him. It would also be extremely dangerous to move Kong anywhere else where he might encounter humans, other potential collateral damage, or even threats. The biggest such threat would be the reigning, and defending, King of the Monsters World Heavyweight Champion: Godzilla. Old Zilla claimed the title by defeating King Ghidorah a few years prior, leading to many surviving Titans literally bowing to him at the end of Godzilla: King Of The Monsters. As the opening credits inform us via bits and pieces of news reports, Godzilla has been putting a whooping on any dissident Titans between the end of that movie and the beginning of this one.

Anyway, we see Kong’s morning routine of waking up, yawning, scratching his butt, taking a shower in a waterfall, and chatting with his best friend. His best friend happens to be a little girl with whom Kong communicates via sign language. But he’s no dope, he knows that he’s domed in, and makes his displeasure known by uprooting trees, twisting them into giant spears, and hurling those giant spears through the top of the dome. Clearly, he’s not happy about being kept in an enclosure like some zoo animal. All this aside, the little girl and her scientist mother do have Kong’s best interests at-heart.

Apex Industries, a mutli-billion-dollar tech company, have something else in-mind for Kong. To cut to the chase: Apex wants to be able to stand against Godzilla, and other Titans, by building one of their own: Mecha-Godzilla. Their creation is a technological marvel and nightmare, that is piloted using the psychic connection between two of Ghidora’s heads – which were conveniently available after his last tango with Godzilla. Essentially. Mecha-Godzilla requires a shit-ton of power to run, and Apex has located a source of seemingly limitless energy in the Hollow Earth.

Most people believe Hollow Earth is just a myth, as no one has successfully ventured there. But Apex enlists a disgraced expert on the subject, who’s brother died during the last attempt to reach Hollow Earth, to guide them to their destination. As it happens, the core of the Hollow Earth theory is that it is the origin point for all Titans, so they are able to sell the Monarch team on Skull Island on the idea that bringing Kong there is what’s best for the big fella himself. Allowing him to finally go back to his true home which, as it turns out, is pretty much Kong’s entire motivation through the film.

Next thing we know, Kong is heavily-sedated, and chained to a cargo freighter en route across the sea to Antarctica, where they believe the entrance to Hollow Earth can be found by following Kong following his genetic memory. They chart a course away from Godzilla’s usual territorial beat in hopes to avoid an incident. Naturally, said incident is not avoided at all. Godzilla attacks the boats, destroying most of them, before attempting to drown a drugged and chained Kong by capsizing the freighter. The scientists manage to free Kong, and allow him to fight back. But the ocean is Godzilla’s home field, so the already-groggy Kong can’t do much other than survive the fight before the remaining ships “play dead” in order to get Godzilla to leave them be.

Things are not going great for Kong, as he was dragged off his island, and across the ocean on a trip he does not want to take, and then jumped by Godzilla. This is the first of their three-round fight, but hardly counts since the playing field was far from even. It was more like the pro-wrestling angle where one guy cracks another guy from behind with a steel chair the week before their big pay per view match.

Team Kong arrives in Antarctica, where the big guy wakes up in the freezing cold, looking as miserable as can be. This is a sentiment that any reasonable person (or gargantuan ape) can equally relate to. The team gets Kong’s little girl buddy to tell him to go down the largest, darkest hole ever with the promise that he might find some family down there. Kong happily obliged as, if nothing else, it’s got to be warmer down there than is was outside. And, again, the poor guy really just wants to find a nice home to settle into. The scientists follow him, and end up in Hollow Earth.

Hollow Earth looks a lot like a much, much bigger Skull Island, and Kong looks to be happy for the first time in the movie. There are a few giant-bat-snake-monsters that attack the humans, but Kong easily takes them out. Therein lies, perhaps, the biggest different between Godzilla and Kong: Kong has people he actually cares for, and wants to protect, while Godzilla just wants to defeat every other Titan in order to remain the apex predator. Aside from Godzilla’s atomic blast breath, this mindset is probably Zilla’s biggest competitive advantage.

While in Hollow Earth, we also get glimpses of some other – less openly hostile – kaiju as Kong makes his way to his ancestral Kongston Abbey. He finds some ginormous doors to go through, a really cool glowing axe, and even a throne fit for a King (Kong). His ancestors seem to have been the rulers of Hollow Earth, and Kong makes himself at home. Finally, it seems that everyone will let Kong do Kong.

No sooner does he settle in, though, than Godzilla invades Hong Kong, where they are keeping Mecha-Godzilla. Kong, again, has no interest in fighting. But Godzilla is a real asshole through most of this movie, looking to pick fights with whomever might challenge his reign. Apex fits this description, but Kong just wants to kick back, and do his thing. Godzilla, however, pulls a major dick move and uses his atomic blast breath to blow a hole deep into the ground, and through the roof of Kongston Abbey. Leaving Kong no choice but to lay a smackdown of his own on the legendary lizard. With axe in-hand, Kong is able to put Zilla on his ass for a while, winning round two. Or, round one of their first legitimate fight, if you’re not counting Godzilla’s previous heel sneak attack.

Godzilla manages to get back to his feet again, but Kong is waiting to get the drop on him. It’s a pretty brutal fight, during which Kong looses his equalizing axe and, subsequently, the fight. Godzilla roars in his face to demand Kong surrender, but Kong bows to no one, and roars a big “Eff You!” right back at his opponent. But, the damage is already done, and Kong cannot continue the fight. So, Godzilla gives him a nod of begrudging respect, and takes his leave.

Unfortunately for everyone, Apex was sent a chunk of the Hollow Earth power source, and used it to send Mecha-Godzilla into overdrive. The influx of limitless energy kills the pilot, and seems to reawaken Ghidorah’s consciousness in Mecha-Godzilla. The Rumbling Robot takes to the streets of Hong Kong, and begins absolutely wiping the floor with Godzilla. Team Kong has noticed during all this, that Kong is dying. So, they use an energy burst from one of the high-tech ships they flew to Hollow Earth in to kickstart his heart.

So, the big fella wakes up, grabs his big axe, and is like “Cool, I’m alive. Let’s get back to that awesome new home you found me.” But then his little buddy is like “Hey, I know you just almost died from your fight with Godzilla, but we kinda need you to interject here, and save him from that gargantuan killing machine, who is currently dragging Zilla’s ass across the entire city. Okay?” At which point Kong is like “Are you friggin’ serious?” And his little buddy is like “Afraid so, big guy. You up for it?” And Kong sighs heavily before agreeing “Fine. Eff it. I’ll be right back.”

Kong fairs a bit better than Godzilla did, and they briefly turn the contest into a two-on-one match before Mecha-Godzilla reclaims the advantage. Remembering that his nuclear fire breath charged up Kong’s battle axe during their fight, Godzilla blasts the axe blade again. The blade glows with energy, and Kong then uses it to fully dismember Mecha-Godzilla. Kong manages to win the final boss battle of the movie, shaking up the rankings (rock-paper-scissors style) as Godzilla defeated Kong, Mecha-Godzilla defeated Godzilla, and then Kong defeated Mecha-Godzilla.

Even after all that, Godzilla gets back up, and roars with a “We gonna throw down again, brah?” Kong, deciding to be the bigger Titan, responds “Nah, we’re cool.” and drops his axe. At which point Godzilla turns around to swim back out to sea, and Kong returns to Hollow Earth where he can finally chill out in his throne room, and do things his way. His little buddy, her scientist mom, and the disgraced scientist are also shown hanging with Kong in his true natural habitat. So, in the end, everyone got what they wanted….aside from the several thousand people unlucky enough to have their city turned into a kaiju battlefield, and whomever ends up having to pay for the several trillion dollars in property damage.

In all seriousness, though, I really enjoyed this film. If what you want to see is Godzilla vs Kong, you’re gonna get your money’s worth. If you’re looking for something more than that, you may want to look somewhere else. I did watch this both on HBO Max, when it premiered, and a second time in a movie theater. If you’re feeling brave enough, and have a nice, comfy mask, I recommend seeing it on the big screen.

In fact, I liked all four Monsterverse movies. Godzilla (2014) was the most deliberately-paced, and most “real-world.” Kong: Skull Island was the most fun. Godzilla: King Of The Monsters was the biggest spectacle. And Godzilla vs Kong felt like the most personal. You may have a hard time believing that a film can put you in the giant shoes of a titanic ape but, if you’re curious about trying, you should absolutely see this movie.

Justice League: The Snyder (Un)Cut

Like millions of other people, I watched Zack Snyder’s Justice League (to be referred to in this blog post as The Snyder Cut) over the weekend on HBO Max. And like almost everyone else who watched it, I’ve decided to post some thoughts.

I watched it over two nights, splitting it to about two hours each night. The chapters that it was broken up into didn’t really seem like especially natural break points, so I set my own viewing schedule, since I didn’t really have any desire to burn through four hours in one sitting. This felt like the right way to watch it to me, so my viewing experience was probably about as good as it was going to get.

I will be getting into spoilers, so consider this your warning.

Unlike Snyder, I’ll be cutting to the chase, and getting immediately into my main gripe with the movie. This thing is every minute of four hours long, and the Justice League never actually throws down with Darkseid himself. The closest they get is tossing Steppenwolf’s decapitated body through a portal to Apokalypse. At which point, Darkseid essentially grunts, shrugs, and walks away. I found this to be massively disappointing, and that sentiment was only compounded by the fact that the last time we see Darkseid, he’s gathering up his armada to invade Earth. So, we’re left with a cliffhanger of a movie that – as of the writing of this blog – there are absolutely no plans to make a sequel to.

This all begs the question of what the extra $70 million dollars, and two hours were even for? I have a hard time imagining Warner Bros agreeing to pour that amount of additional budget, and give Snyder that amount of runtime, back when this was intended to just be the first part of a trilogy. I’d figured that the extra budget, and the extra 90 – 120 minutes were given to Snyder to film some sort of completed version of his Justice League story. Sadly, I was mistaken. This really was always just going to be the mega-over-stuffed version of his first-of-three movies.

This is not a breezy four hours, I’m not even sure four hours could ever be described as “breezy” regardless of what you happen to be doing. It felt like an hour of it was filled up just with all the slow-motion shots, and the actor reactions shots that lasted twice as long as they should have. This is especially egregious in the first two hours, which may best be summed up by the fact that Batman and The Flash don’t even put their costumes on until a full two hours into the movie. Superman doesn’t show up until a half-hour later than that.

There was also some strange stuff that could have been dropped from the film without losing any effect. There is a scene where Martian Manhunter, posing as Martha Kent, visits Lois Lane and gives her the sort of familial pep talk that would make complete sense for Ma Kent to give Lois as they were both grieving the loss of Clark. Why Snyder decided it it ought to be J’onn J’onzz rather than actually Martha is fairly confounding. Are we to assume this means Martha never bothered to check in on Lois after Clark died? That seems very un-Martha-like. Martian Manhunter also shows up at the very end of the third part of the epilogue, thus making this earlier appearance redundant.

Willem Dafoe also shows up in a terrible wig, while Amber Heard shows up with a terrible faux British accent for scenes with Jason Momoa that don’t line-up with the Aquaman solo movie that came out two years ago. Dafoe’s wig was much better in the solo movie, and Heard wisely dropped the fake accent. Snyder also spend several scenes setting up a reason why S.T.A.R Labs would need to be evacuated when a giant Biohazard Warning flashes on every monitor in the building. It seems pretty self-evident that you ought to clear out of your high-tech super-science lab when you see there’s a biohazard warning, so laying that groundwork was completely unnecessary.

With all that said, this version is superior to The Whedon Cut in every way. And – I’ll even do you one better – despite everything that I wrote above, I rather enjoyed The Snyder Cut. For one thing, it’s a much more cohesive, and comprehensive (one could easily argue too comprehensive) story. Apart from my desire to see a true Darkseid vs Justice League Rumble, my expectations were pretty low, which I’m sure helped with my experience.

The Flash and Cyborg’s characters and stories are fleshed out a lot more in The Snyder Cut. In fact, my biggest surprise was that most of The Flash’s scenes were lifted almost directly from this for The Whedon Cut. My guess is that the suits at WB saw those scenes and decided they wanted the whole movie to be more like them. Meanwhile, Cyborg gets a full character arc, while also showing the audience all the things that he’s actually capable of. Not only with his cool robot-parts blaster stuff, but also in cyberspace and some sort of loosely-defined mechanical telepathy.

Steppenwolf is presented as more frighteningly bestial in The Snyder Cut, which really plays into his favor. He’s also given a motivation that is, at least, partially revealed. Apparently, he failed on some big mission that got him into the boss’s doghouse, and needs to conquer 50,000 planets to get himself back out of it. Despite my disappointment of no true Big Bad Battle, I was glad that Darkseid was actually in this movie. His presence does add an extra threat level that wasn’t really present in The Whedon Cut. The flashback to Darkseid’s first attempted invasion from thousands of years ago plays much the same as The Whedon Cut, except with Darkseid himself leading the charge. Again, having it be him rather than his leg-breaker Steppenwolf makes everything about the battle matter more.

Also, everything in The Snyder Cut is bigger, and more open then in The Whedon Cut. The battle over the Mother Box with the Amazons on Themyscira happens more in the wide-open spaces of the island. It also includes many more Amazons and Parademons, both of whom seriously boost the scale of the scene.

Big, establishing shots, and other wide shots are more prevalent in The Snyder Cut. There were several times where I had to shake my head at the amount of money the studio flushed down the toiler when they cut them from the initial theatrical release. All-in-all, it’s much less claustrophobic than The Whedon Cut. Which is a good thing, because one word you never want used to describe your massive, franchise, tent-pole film is “claustrophobic.”

The three part epilogue is one part wrap-up, one part set-up, and one part post-apocalyptic nonsense. The first part is shots of all the heroes doing their hero thing while an inspirational message that Dr. Silas Stone recorded for his son plays in the background. It was a nice little flourish with some much needed optimism after the grimdark of the proceeding 3+ hours.

The second part was a slightly different version of Deathstroke visiting a newly-escaped Lex Luthor on the latter’s yacht than we got in The Whedon Cut. The difference was that, instead of Luthor suggesting they make “a league of their own” he flat-out just tells Deathstroke that Batman is Bruce Wayne. I assume this was meant to set-up Ben Affleck’s long-since abandoned Batman solo film, and was therefore completely irrelevant.

The third part was another dream/premonition of Bruce Wayne’s that takes place in the “Knightmare” future from Batman V Superman, and that was also alluded to during Superman’s resurrection scene earlier in The Snyder Cut. By Snyder’s self-admission, it was not much more than an excuse to have Batman and the Joker share a scene together. But it’s a rather pointless scene, with eye-rolling dialogue that hints at a future that will likely never come to pass in the DC Movie Multiverse. Honestly, I felt he could have just stopped after the first part of the epilogue and left it at that.

Judging by the reception to – and apparent number eyeballs on – The Snyder Cut, I wouldn’t be completely shocked if they actually do let Zack Snyder make at least one more Justice League movie. They are starting to lean into the whole Multiverse idea, after all, so it wouldn’t have to alter the current direction of their shared continuity. But, going off of Snyder’s own description of what JL 2 and JL 3 would have looked liked, it’s probably too close to the story that was told across Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame.

In a nutshell, JL 2 would be Darkseid’s army invading and conquering Earth when Superman succumbs to the Anti-Life Equation after Lois Lane is killed. This would also result in the deaths of Wonder Woman and Aquaman, which were shown as part of Cyborg’s visions while bringing Superman back from the dead. And JL 3 would have been Cyborg sending the Flash back in-time to ensure that Batman sacrifices himself to save Lois, so Superman doesn’t lose the will to live, and leads the world, alongside also still-alive Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and Flash to victory against Darkseid. So, if there were to be more, it would need to be revised to better differentiate itself from Marvel Studios’ magnum opus. Which, after hearing some of Snyder’s other specific future plot points, is really for the best.

In the end, I guess I liked more of The Snyder Cut than I disliked. With that said, Snyder himself has again demonstrated that he doesn’t truly understand these superheroes enough to make a truly great movie with them. His Justice League Batman is eons better than his BvS version, and his Cyborg was pretty solid as well. But Patty Jenkins has a much better grasp of what people respond to about Wonder Woman. James Wan better tapped into the gonzo, fantasy adventure myth-building fun that made Aquaman finally work. And the brain trust at The CW have had better luck bringing out the traits, and stories that fans love about the Flash and Superman. Still, my opinion is that Zack Snyder’s Justice League is worth a watch. Even if that watch takes you three or four nights to complete.

I’ve updated my DC Multiverse Movies ranking list to add The Snyder Cut, and it lands right around the middle of the pack.. Whether that’s praise of this film, or a knock against the others, is the topic of a separate conversion.

What Is WandaVision If Not The MCU Persevering?

“What is grief, if not love persevering?”

That’s a line that Vision says in a flashback from the penultimate episode of WandaVision. It’s also, essentially, the show’s thesis statements. I liked that line of dialogue a lot. Though I’ve always thought of grief being the love that remains once someone you care for is gone, I was never able to put it quite so succinctly. I have heard a number of other people say that line altered their perception of grief, so the impact is definitely real.

The impact of WandaVision is also very real, especially after an entire calendar year where forces beyond our control lead to there not being a Marvel movie released for the first time since 2009. The show was very well done, and I greatly enjoyed it. But I still must wonder whether it would have had such a large footprint on America’s entertainment culture had it been just one of three or four MCU projects that came out shortly after Avengers: Endgame.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, because the show very much stands on its own merits. However, due to the extraordinary circumstances surrounding its release, WandaVision was nothing, if not, the MCU persevering. Because, had it not been almost through production already when the pandemic hit, then we would have had to wait several more months before seeing anything or anyone from the MCU again. And, had it been a movie rather than a nine-episode TV series, it would not have satiated the viewers for nearly as long as it did.

By design, the show took an extremely roundabout way to reach its own fairly straightforward conclusion. There were may twists, and feints, and trollings and red herrings. But, in the end, it was about how Wanda Maximoff was finally able to allow herself to properly grieve for her lost loved ones, and also get a proper superhero costume and name. Although, it’s safe to assume that she’ll be seeing Vision again with all his memories but none of his emotional attachments (or fancy colors). So that’ll be another curveball for her, when the time comes.

Emotional attachments are not something I ever had for Wanda or Vision. Even back in my youth when I was more regularly reading comics. I never had much interest in them. This was no different when it came to their cinematic interpretations. I enjoyed Paul Bettany as the voice of J.A.R.V.I.S, but his turns as Vision always left me cold.

He was a bit of a MacGuffin who transformed into a deus ex machina in Avengers: Age Of Ultron. I also rolled my eyes a bit when he became the first character besides Thor to lift Mjolnir. He had a little more to do in Captain America: Civil War, but was still little more than an afterthought to the primarily storyline. When he and Wanda were suddenly a couple in Avengers: Infinity War, it never rang as emotionally true to me. And, because of this, his death(s) at the end of that movie again felt simply like the means to an end.

I was more on-board with Elizabeth Olsen’s Wanda Maximoff when she also debuted in Age Of Ultron. Unlike Vision, at least she had an interesting backstory. But even that was soured for me by the pointless, and underwhelming, death of Pietro in that film. I assumed it was a right issue, considering Fox still had the X-Men film rights at the time. But it was still a lame ending for a character with a great deal of potential. Really, the usage rate for Quicksilver was one of the very few things that Fox’s X-Men cinematic universe did better than the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Wanda was the main catalyst at the starts of Civil War, due to her mistake on a mission with Captain America’s team leading to the deaths of civilians. By extension, her actions left to the writing of the Sokovia Accords. Her actions sequences – the opening, the fight with Vision, and the battle royal at the airport – were all pretty cool. But, by the end of Civil War, her part in the disassembling of the Avengers took a backseat to the Iron Man vs Captain America & The Winter Soldier fallout and rumble.

As I mentioned earlier, her scenes with Vision as a romantic pairing in Infinity War felt sudden, and unearned to me. Though her arrival on the battlefield in Wakanda was one of the action highlights of the film, alongside Team Cap’s arrival at the train station in Edinburgh, and Thor’s big Wakandan entrance. Wanda’s own return in Avengers: Endgame was better, as I felt her rage as a more realistic motivation than her love in the previous film. And she did nearly break Thanos in-half, which was also an impressive of power.

So, while I always found Wanda more interesting than Vision, she was still near the bottom of my list of characters I cared about. Until WandaVision. Giving Wanda and Vision 7+ hours to develop their relationship, even in as strange a way as they did, finally won me over to their storyline. In short – I never knew I wanted more of Wanda and Vision until I was given more of Wanda and Vision.

It helps when two characters that we are told are in-love actually have time to show us what their love looks like, be it in a domestic situation or otherwise. Also, just having more screen time than either did in the films allowed the actors to fill out the roles in a much more meaningful way. Bettany’s and Olsen’s talent, coupled with the creative team providing them top notch material, allowed this flex to happen.

At the conclusion of the finale, there are primarily three threads left hanging to lead us forward to the next Phase of the MCU: Monica Rambeau’s emergence of superpowers, White Vision’s memory download and escape, and Wanda’s quest to hone her powers for seemingly one very specific reason.

I’m not going to spend much time on Monica, Agent Woo, or Darcy. As much as I enjoyed that part of the show, I’d rather focus on the titular characters. Monica’s introduction, and gaining of powers all pretty much led up to the mid-credits stinger, which involved a Skrull enlisting here to join Nick Fury and Talos on a space station as they venture into the upcoming Secret Invasion Disney+ series.

Woo and Darcy were just a lot of fun, and I very much hope to see more of them both. I figure Darcy will be in Thor: Love & Thunder, and Woo seems like he’ll be moving up in the FBI world, which ought to provide more chances to roll him out in future shows and movies.

White Vision seemed like he’d be a bigger deal in the penultimate episode than he ended up being. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t figure he’d be used as a tool to bring the original Vision back into the real world outside of the Hex that Wanda created. Still, it was a clever way to use a new character to bring back an old character, and then combine the two to be something different. I’ll be interested to see where White Vision next appears, and what his character is now that Vision loaded up his memory file.

That leaves the last thread, and the most tragic piece of the finale: the fate of Billy and Tommy, the children who Wanda created for herself. What was interesting was that, even though they were manufactured whole-cloth by Wanda, they had personalities and, dare I say, souls independent of their “mother.”

At the end of her fight with Agatha Harkness – whom I didn’t mention, but was also pretty great – Wanda realizes that she needs to free the town of Westview from her Hex. This means losing Vision…for a third time…but he’s aware of this, prepared for it, and also knows that White Vision is out there somewhere carrying his life experience into the future.

Billy and Tommy, on the other hand, are put to bed and erased in heart-breaking fashion. Wanda’s response to this tragedy felt strangely underwhelming, considering the extreme way that her grief over her parents, brother, and lover manifested itself. I was confused by this until we got the second stinger at the end of the credits. In a scene that looks very Sam Raimi-esque, we see Wanda far out in the middle of nowhere, using the Doctor Strange pocket dimension learning strategy to train herself in the Chaos Magic found in the Darkhold – the “book of the damned” – recovered from Harkness’ creepy black magic cellar.

Upon first glance, one might assume she is simply learning how to better hone her magic skills to be a better Scarlet Witch. However, at the last moment we hear a little bit of what Wanda is hearing. And what she’s hearing is her children crying for help. If her existing, pent-up grief led an untrained uber-witch to accidentally enslave an entire town in her altered reality, imagine what the loss of her children will lead her to do on-purpose. Especially now that she’s determined to fully harness her power. Sounds to me like the perfect recipe for some multiversal madness. Paging Doctor Strange.

All-in-all WandaVision was a fascinating cocktail for the familiar (quick-witted jokes, bright colors, superpeople bombarding each other with energy blasts) and the different (the internal sitcoms-through-the-decades format, the TV series format in-general). In most cases, a living entity must evolve in order to survive, and this very much felt like the MCU’s evolution. So, I once again ask my own thesis: What is WandaVision, if not the MCU persevering?

Avengers: Endgame – Closing The Circle

Talk about a cliffhanger. I posted a spoilers and speculation blog about Avengers: Infinity War way back in 2018, shortly before I took an unplanned three year break from blogging, and never followed it up. That’s like a Star Wars Original & Prequel Trilogy style gap.

But I still didn’t want to leave anyone, including myself, hanging. So, I’m writing this piece to close my own circle with some general thoughts about Avengers: Endgame, and what’s come in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since then. I made some predictions in that blog, and I’m happy to say that I was more right than wrong in my predictions.

Loki and Heimdall definitely died “for real” even though Loki is getting his own time travel-ly series out of it. All victim of The Snap returned, though that wasn’t exactly a long shot. I was right to assume Hawkeye wasn’t snapped, and that the original Avengers squad all survived for a reason – I was also right about the reason being to give them a proper curtain call. Doctor Strange’s apology to Tony Stark did end up being because Tony had to sacrifice his life to save the universe.

Steve Rogers bowed out with a happier ending than I’d suspected. Bucky Barnes likely isn’t the one carrying the Captain America shield forward, so I was wrong about that part. But he, and Sam Wilson, are working together to fill the void, so I was right about the group effort part. Black Widow died, but still has a solo movie coming out (some day) so I was about 50/50 on that projection. Thor is getting a fourth movie, as expected, and they’re keeping Hulk in their back pocket, likely to drop by on the She Hulk series.

As for the movie itself: I loved Avengers: Endgame, and I think the last hour or so of it is the most rewatchable MCU movie out there. The time travel trip down memory lane worked way better than it had any right to. Just the fact that they introduced time travel out of nowhere, and made it work, is a small miracle. Though my faith never really waivered in Kevin Feige and the MCU brain trust.

The Star Wars crew couldn’t even properly wrap up a trilogy with the disastrous Rise Of Skywalker. Meanwhile, Marvel capped out a 20+ movie arc in the most entertaining and satisfying manner possible. Both of these are under Disney’s banner now, but you can see a stark difference in the way they’ve been handled.

I think Marvel has had a looser leash, which worked out for them Meanwhile, they course-corrected Star Wars on-the-fly, likely with a Bible full of studio notes, which ended up being a problem. But, if The Mandalorian is a sign of things to come, and it appears that it is, then Star Wars may soon be rising to Marvel’s standards. Imagine saying THAT twenty years ago.

Now, for how things are looking in a Post Infinity Saga universe.

Spider-Man: Far From Home was the only post-Endgame MCU release so far, even though Black Widow was scheduled to drop a year ago, before the pandemic effed up everyone’s lives for most of the past twelve months. Far From Home was a lot of fun, and a good demonstration of how well Marvel Studios can get themselves back into the flow of smaller, non-universe destroying crossover films. It was very encouraging.

No one has seen Black Widow yet, as I noted above. But I’ll definitely check it out when – and where – I can.

WandaVision is really interesting. I’ll probably post a review of it once the season concludes, since I don’t want to fully judge it without having seen the entire run. It’s pulled the rug out from under the viewers several times already, so I’ll gather up my thoughts about it when standing on more solid ground.

The Falcon & The Winter Solider is coming later this month, and I’m very much looking forward to more of the love-hate-buddy-cop action that those two characters have only been able to hint at up to this point. I’ll probably write that review up after the season (series?) concludes as well.

Loki is up after that in May. Lots of timey-wimey stuff going on there, starting with Loki being not-dead in the first place. But the character is always fun, and time travel worked out nicely in Endgame, so let it ride!

She-Hulk, Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Ironheart, and Secret Invasion have all been announced as Disney+ series, and some interesting casting news has come out already. But, it’s also far too early for me to have any real insights.

I’ll judge The Eternals when I know more about it, but I’m not familiar with the title at all, so I won’t make any assumptions yet. But I did watch Nomadland, which was also directed by recent Golden Globe Winner Chloe Zhao. I didn’t exactly know how to feel about the point-of-view in Nomadland, which I think was the point. It was a beautiful-looking film though, that’s for certain, so that’s hooked my interest in Eternals.

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness is next up. It’s being directed by Sam Raimi, which sounds incredible. All we know so far is the title and director. But I’m loving the title and the director. It’s still in the early stages of shooting, but I’m fully on-board already. I can’t wait to further examine the mystical corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (Or, Marvel Cinematic Multiverse, I suppose). I really enjoyed the back-half of Doctor Strange’s solo movie, and loved his few scenes in Thor: Ragnarok. Picking up where those left off seems pretty awesome to me.

Spider-Man: No Way Home appears set to tackle the multiverse as well, which should be fun. Into The Spider-Verse may have already done this about as well as you possibly can. But the MCU has the bonus draw of bringing in actors and characters from the previous iterations of the Spider-Man film franchise. If nothing else, that should be good to pop the crowd a few times.

Thor: Love & Thunder is deep into shooting, with Taika Waititi again at the helm. Much like Doctor Strange’s new movie, the title and director are more-than-enough to get me into a theater. Plus, Thor: Ragnarok was probably the most fun MCU movie to date, so I’m all-in for more of that vibe.

Captain Marvel 2 and Black Panther 2 are also on-deck. But the former has just started casting, and the latter is trying to figure out how best to address the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman. Either way, it’s far too early to make any assumptions about either.

I’m happy to finally put a bow on my Infinity War cliffhanger, and can’t wait to share my thoughts about all the interesting stuff that’s coming up in the future.

What The Hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Way back in 2017 I wrote about The Ballad of Luke Skywalker. This was shortly before The Last Jedi was released, and I offered up some theories, and questions. The movie did answer the most important questions I had. Another of the questions was partially addressed by The Mandalorian when Luke sought out Grogu to train him. I certainly would like to see some more of that.

Luke did, essentially, get the big send off that I wanted to see in The Last Jedi. It wasn’t the way I’d imagined it, but it still worked for me. All-in-all I liked the Last Jedi quite a lot. It was a well-made movie that served up some interesting ideas to be explored in the final part of the trilogy.

Then Rise Of Skywalker happened. I’m not going to do a deep dive, because I’m a little late to the party, and pretty much every angle has already been covered 100 times. But I also wanted to wrap up my previous blog post from before my hiatus.

Rise Of Skywalker was terrible. Very likely the worst Star Wars movie I’ve ever seen. Attack Of The Clones had a strong claim to the throne for a while, but that was just the middle part of a prequel trilogy. Rise Of Skywalker was not only the final chapter of the long-awaited sequel trilogy, but also the final chapter in an extraordinarily beloved movie series that stems back more than 40 years.

Among the interesting ideas posed by The Last Jedi was that Rey was just an ordinary person who happened to be strong with The Force. Sure, I was rooting for her to be Luke’s kid, but I was fine with the fact that she wasn’t. In fact, that message was sort of inspiring in that it told us that anyone can be special.

Rise Of Skywalker decided that Rey was Emperor Palpatine’s granddaughter. Or, like, the daughter of a Palpatine clone who didn’t have any powers. Or some such nonsense that was never really explained in the movie, but was discussed in subsequent interviews. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

On the same note, Broom Boy’s whimsically casual use of The Force at the end of The Last Jedi offered up another fun option. Maybe Rey would travel the galaxy to find these Force-Sensitive people, and enlist them in the final battle to defeat the First Order. Something like that could have been displayed similarly to the epic portals scene of Avengers: Endgame. Only, instead of superheroes and wizards, it would have been common people standing together and using what power they had to defeat the evil empire.

Rise Of Skywalker made no mention of Broom Boy, or anyone else like him at all. Sure, they alluded to Finn all of a sudden being Force-Sensitive, but then did absolutely nothing with him besides yelling “REY!” over and over again. Speaking of Finn, he also had a big secret that he wanted to tell Rey. He never told her, and therefore the audience never found out.
But we were again told after-the-fact that he wanted to tell her he was Force-Sensitive. This revelation also would have made no difference to the events of the film regardless, so who really cares. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Kylo Ren was made into a really interesting shades-of-gray character by The Last Jedi, before decided to stick to the Dark Side and slice his way to Supreme Leader status. The clear conflict within him sizzled up ever scene he was in, especially his scenes with Rey.

In Rise Of Skywalker, he falls immediately back in-line under Palpatine like Darth Vader 2.0, even though he had made a big deal of becoming the true big boss man of the First Order in the previous movie. So, he’s just bad again until he talks to a hallucination of his dead father, Han Solo, and is suddenly not bad anymore. Han was not a Force Ghost, not really a memory, and also not explained at all by the movie. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Honestly, I could go on and on about this stuff, so here’s a few more quick takes.

Palpatine is just back, which is super lame, and you would have only seen it coming if you played Fortnite. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Rose Tico just doesn’t matter anymore, even though she spent the entirety of The Last Jedi building a pretty fun relationship with Finn. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Poe and Rey have one scene of a kinda flirty Han-and-Leia interaction, and then it’s never mentioned again. But Poe’s ex-girlfriend shows up for a few scenes to waste time on a subplot that could have been wrapped up in one or two scenes. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

Chewbacca and C-3PO die, or are erased, in service of the greater good. Until they’re back, and right as rain 10 minutes later. Even dramatic sacrifices are brushed aside, and immediately retconned (like J.J Abrams tried to do with the entirety of The Last Jedi). What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

When Ben Solo finally completes his slapdash redemption arc, and somehow manages to make a couple of cool moments happen, he’s immediately blasted down a bottomless pit before he can even take a swing at Palpatine. He could have, at least, battled Palpatine’s army of faceless fans(?) in the stands while Rey took on Palpy himself. But, nah. What the hell, Rise Of Skywalker?

And many, many more issues that became even more prevalent when I finally decided to give Rise Of Skywalker a second chance after almost a full year.

At any rate, I wanted to put a bow on my 2017 blog about Luke Skywalker, and I have. I’ve very happy that the Star Wars universe is expanding, and I freakin’ love The Mandalorian. I’m also very much looking forward to some of the other announced projects coming, especially the Ashoka Tano, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Boba Fett shows.

The only issue is that all those projects take place in the past, meaning that for the foreseeable future, Rise Of Skywalker is the end of the Star Wars Saga. I really hope that’s not the case for long.

They’ve finally got the right people in-place to shepherd Star Wars back to greener pastures (yes, another shot at J.J) with Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni’s Mando staff. I’m also happy to hear that Rian Johnson is still set to make more Star Wars movies as well. If they’d given him Rise Of Skywalker it probably would have been more “Hell Yeah!” than “What The Hell?”

So, I will hold out hope that Star Wars Episode X, or whatever they end up calling it, can turn Star Wars back into the Crown Jewel that Disney envisioned when they bought the rights from Lucasfilms. Hope, after all, is where this whole thing started in that long time ago galaxy of 1977.

10 For The Playlist – Volume 1

To preface: I am not a music critic. I don’t have a degree in Musicology, I can’t play any instruments, and frankly I can’t even sing unless I’m drunk in a private Karaoke room or all alone in my car.

But I like music. I’ve come across a lot of tunes that – from what I can tell – never received Top 40 level radio airplay. But I love these songs, and feel lucky to have come across them one way or another. Maybe it was in a movie or TV soundtrack. Maybe it was in a commercial. Maybe in a bar or a store. Or, maybe I just lucked out on Amazon Music or Spotify. At any rate, I’d like to share them with other people. Maybe this will help more people discover these songs, even if the artists may already well-known.

I’m thinking of doing one of these once a month, but that’s more of a notion than a plan. I may do them a little more frequently, or a little less. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll try to limit one song per artist on each list, but I expect there will be many recurring artists as this blog goes along. So, without further adieu, here is my first list of songs.

Starlight – Ingrid Michaelson – It starts like a lullaby, and plays like one for the first couple minutes. Ultimately, though, this is a song about having to be away from the people you love. But that the love you have for them never fades, because it burns a brightly as starlight. This one always gets me a bit misty, and it makes me think of my two boys more than anything else. The song closes with a lovely, cathartic release, which I’ll never not enjoy.

Favorite Lyric – “I can’t promise you the moon / I can’t even promise that I will be home soon / Just leave the light on / Like you do / ‘Cause you know I’m always coming home to you”

Lonely Town – Brandon Flowers – 100% pure glossy ’80’s pop, even though it was released in the 2015. It gives me flashbacks, the good kind, of being a kid growing up in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. Sounds like sweet sugar tastes, only with a slight undertone of regret.

Favorite Lyric – “Spinning like the Gravitron when I was just a kid / I always that things would change / But they never did”

Calling It Love – Animotion – The sort of song that “Lonely Town” clearly modeled itself after. Pretty much everyone has heard “Obsession” and “Don’t You Want me” but I honestly thing this song is superior to either of them. It’s simply (or complicatedly) about being in a relationship that has run its course, but you don’t really know how to end it, or even if you honestly want to. This one has the synth backdrop that was everywhere at the time, but also a pretty ripping guitar solo in the middle. And it gives lead singer Astrid Plane the chance to sing like she’s finally releasing everything pent up inside her from the band’s two big hits.

Favorite Lyric – “I’ve been spending my life / Thinking you’re the one / Now I’m holding my lies / And the damage is done”

Wings – Birdy – This one comes in strong, and has no hesitation about rolling out the melodramatic string section at every opportunity. It’s tinged with a bit of longing, but ultimately soars with the power and hope that came effortlessly when you were younger. But, when I fire this one up, I have no trouble getting back to that place again.

Favorite Lyrics – “Oh, damn these walls / In the moment we’re ten feet tall / And how you told me after it all / We’d remember tonight / For the rest of our lives”

Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young – Fire, Inc – One of two songs written for the soundtrack to the cult classic Streets Of Fire by Jim Steinman, who wrote every Meat Loaf song you know. He also wrote “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” for Celine Dion, and “Holding Out For A Hero” for Bonnie Tyler, both of which this song shares more DNA with. I’d honestly love to hear this performed with a full cast in a Broadway show, or even in a community theater. But hey, that’s how I imagine it every time it comes up anyway. Multiple choir sections sing different parts that are sprinkled through until the big finish, when they are combine to form an overlapping mega-choir.

Favorite Lyric – “Let the revels begin / Let the fire be started / We’re dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted”

Sunday – Bloc Party – A prayer for the poor, hungover souls of the world. Okay, that’s part of it, but it’s also about embracing the freedom you have in those morning-afters where you’re still in-love, sober and head-achy as you may be. The percussion drives the song along until the end of the journey, when you are treated to one bad- ass, soaring guitar solo by the underrated Russell Lissack that snaps you out of whatever trance you may have been lulled into.

Favorite Lyric – “You see giant proclamations / Are all very well / But our love / Is louder than words”

Munich – The Fray – These guys are mostly known for “Over My Head (Cable Car)” and “How To Save A Life” but they got a really solid catalogue otherwise. “Munich” captures that feeling when you’re maybe not ready to fall in love, but you’ve found someone who you can’t describe your feelings for with any other word. It then makes the synths sing like a choir of angelic robots telling you to let go, and let yourself fall.

Favorite Lyrics – “Step to the edge / You and I / Then we fall below / Take a breath / Hold my hand / And now you’re not alone”

Love Is Only A Feeling – The Darkness – I have no idea how The Darkness’ only crossover hit was “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” because these guys deliver all the hair metal goodness missing from the past 30 years on every album. “Love Is Only A Feeling” hits those power ballad vibes, not to mention those crazy high notes. They manage to mix the acoustic, mandolin-sounding strings, and wailing electric solos in a way that tells you “Damn right, it’s cheesy. But damn right, you want to dive into that pool full of melted nacho cheese.”

Favorite Lyric – “I had touched, I had tasted, and I truly believed / That the light of my love / Would tear a hole right through each cloud / That scudded by / Just to beam on you and I”

Something Special – Randy Newman – If you’ve seen the classic(?) 1987 rom-com Overboard starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, then you’ve heard this song playing over the end credits. But, in the event that you have heard it, but never sought it out, here it is. Randy Newman writing great little ditties is nothing new, but this one holds a special place for me. Yes, Overboard was on basic cable all the time when I was growing up, so I’m conditioned to respond to most anything involved in it (talk to me about “Can’t Help Falling In Love” sometime). But I’m always on-board for any song that sells the simple joys of a mismatched love affair.

Favorite Lyrics – “It’s alright / Baby, it’s okay / We’re gonna make it / No matter what they say / Sure as the stars shine in the sky above / There is something special about our love”

Sunset – The Midnight – Another new wave throwback that takes me in the way back machine to when I was a kid who’d never been anywhere outside the small suburb where I’d always been. Back then, I felt trapped, as many other kids have as well. And this song sounds like it would have been my manta if it came had been released in 1988 instead of 2016 (though I likely wouldn’t have been able to fully relate to it until the mid-90’s). It starts with a spoken word verse of a girl making an offer that I would have found very hard to decline in 1995.

Favorite Lyric – “They say it’s darkest before the dawn / We’ve been in this town for far too long / They say it’s darkest before the dawn / We’re moving on, we’re moving on, we’re moving on”

Superman Returns: The Biggest Missed Opportunity In Comic Book Movie History

I understand that the title of this post is quite lofty, but I do want to clarify one big thing regarding this statement before we begin. ‘Biggest Missed Opportunity’ is not the same as ‘Worst.’ In fact, in my own ranking of DC Movies Superman Returns landed right around the middle-of-the-pack. Also, strictly speaking, we’re not just talking about the film itself. Though that’s as good a place to start as any.

I do not hate Superman Returns, in fact I don’t really have any strong feelings about it at all. Which is part of the problem. I’ll actually start things off by discussing a few positives about the film. Brandon Routh & Kevin Spacey were both well-cast as Superman/Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. And, while Routh was a newcomer, and a pleasant surprise, Spacey’s name had been bandied about for Luthor probably dating back the 1994/95 after he scored big-time bad guy credentials with The Usual Suspects and Seven.

The film looks great, and is shot like a post-modernistic Norman Rockwell cityscape. Which works quite well for any Superman property. And there are two scenes I can think of that really captured some of what we want in a Superman movie. The first was the space shuttle rescue, where Superman made his first appearance since disappearing five years ago (in movie continuity). The other is at the start of the third act, when the earthquake triggered by Luthor’s master plan hits Metropolis, and the Man of Steel flies through the city saving lives, and stopping catastrophes.

The unfortunate thing is that there’s not much else in the movie that gets the blood pumping. By 2006 they had all the technology they needed to give Superman a worthy physical adversary. I mean, even the disastrous Superman IV: The Quest For Peace at least tried to show the audience a superfight with the Nuclear Man. The only thing that even remotely qualifies as a fight scene in Superman Returns is when a Kryptonite-weakened Superman get kicked around by Luthor and his generic goon squad.

There were some major story problems as well; some stemming from Bryan Singer wanting to make a direct sequel to Superman II. The Super Amnesia Kiss was pretty indefensible in 1980, and was only made worse 15 (actual) years later when we learned this resulted in the birth of a child. The super son story also never moved the needle for me, in and of itself.

It was very lazy to make Lex Luthor’s grand scheme a simple remix of his scheme from Superman: The Movie. Property Fetishist Lex Luthor is pretty far from the most interesting Luthor you can give us. While we’re talking about character problems, I had a big one with Superman himself.

Leaving Earth unprotected for 5 years to go see the remains of Krypton is not something I could ever imagine Superman doing. Especially since this was, once again, a direct sequel to Superman II, where three other supervillains basically conquered the Earth while Superman was hanging out in his Fortress of Solitude with his girlfriend for a week.

While on the subject of Lois Lane, I should mention that I feel it was a bad call to cast fairly blank slate Kate Bosworth in the role, especially when Kristen Bell had been out there doing a fantastic Lois for a few years already with Veronica Mars. I don’t think Bell would have saved the movie, but I feel she could have at least gotten me invested in the Superman – Lois relationship.

Again, a lot of these problems come from Singer’s irrational desire to make a sequel to a 15 year-old movie. They cast young for Superman and Lois, so why not just make this a full reboot? The smarter move would have been to essentially make Man Of Steel 7 years earlier. I have some issues that that film as well, but I feel like the instincts were right at least. Hell, they even could have used General Zod, so Singer – or whomever else they would have gotten to make the movie – could have paid homage to the old films.

But all of these issues really just resulted in a thoroughly mediocre movie. To understand the reason why I call this the biggest missed opportunity in comic book movie history, we need to look at this film’s place in history itself.

Superman as a franchise was killed in 1987 by the cheaply-made, and altogether terrible Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. Two years later Batman staked his claim as the go-to cash cow of comic book intellectual properties. It had a pair of highly successful, and fairly well-received, sequels in 1992 and 1995. But then Batman & Robin subsequently cratered out superhero movies as a whole in 1997.

One might call 1997 rock bottom for superhero movies, but it actually triggered something significantly more interesting. That something would be a full reevaluation of how to make a superhero movie. This would lead to absolutely huge things a few years later, but it all started pretty small.

In 1998, Blade showed Hollywood how to make comic book characters more appealing to a wider audience. And it did so without having to break the budget bank. It brought a darker, and more adult approach to the material.

In 2000, X-Men took that template, built it out, and gave the people an adaptation that they’d been waiting decades for. It kept the dark tones, and dark wardrobes (for better or worse). But X-Men ironed out the subject matter to bring it down from an R rating to PG-13, which opened the door for these movies to become bonafide blockbusters. I’d be remiss to not mention that Bryan Singer directed this as well, and it no doubt put him on Warner Bros’ radar.

In 2002, Spider-Man literally brightened things up, by not shying away from red and blue spandex. It smashed box office records, and is well-reviewed by critics and audiences across-the-board. This truly was the closest thing we’d ever seen to a comic book brought to live action.

In 2003 and 2004, X2: X-Men United and Spider-Man 2 show sustainability, and improvement over their respectivce predecessors. At this point, more comic book movies start hitting theaters to varying results. But, suffice to say, the revolution had begun in-earnest. I’ll note that Singer was pretty much hired directly off X2, and onto WB’s first Superman project in nearly 20 years.

In 2005, Batman Begins got DC back in the game in a big way. Blade, X-Men, Spider-Man, and even some less stellar outings such as Fantastic Four, and Ang Lee’s Hulk were Marvel properties. WB decided to hold off on jumping back into the fray until they had what they believed to be a home run. This young Batman origin story was incredibly well reviewed, and was also a box office beast. Warner Bros and DC now had a fully blank slate to carve out their new movie legacy.

This brings us to 2006. Superman Returns comes out one year after Batman Begins, and cast a young actor as Superman. This was the golden ticket, the lost city of El Dorado, the chance to set a new course for the future of filmmaking, and a shared universe 3 years before Marvel would even start planting those seeds. The two most recognizable superheroes on the planet could finally share a movie screen together, and break fandom wide open.

Here’s the thing, WB/DC didn’t even have the same obstacles that Marvel Studios did. Warner Media owned the film rights to every single DC character. Unlike Marvel who had sold the film rights for their most popular characters: Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four.

And with the WB Studio backing them, they didn’t even have to take the same sort of massive financial gamble that Marvel did to bankroll Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk in 2008. They could have easily given us the first ever truly shared cinematic universe filled with some of the most popular characters in pop culture history.

Instead, they made a sequel to a 15 year-old movie, and made no attempt to tie it to any other characters. Not even a wink, or a shout-out. The first time we saw multiple Marvel heroes together on-screen was Iron Man, War Machine, and Black Widow in Iron Man 2 in 2010. But, we could have seen Superman and Batman together on-film before then. And it wouldn’t have been too hard to roll out Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and any other character they so pleased before the Avengers ever assembled in 2012.

This was most likely due to a lack of foresight, or even straight-up creativity, by the suits running WB. But, had a filmmaker come to them with a stronger pitch to start working toward a universe shared by Superman, Batman, and countless other superheroes and supervillains, then maybe he or she could have opened some minds.

2008 brought us The Dark Knight, which is a great movie. But it’s not like we couldn’t have had that, along with a Superman / Batman movie in 2007 or 2009. Don’t get me wrong, I love the MCU. And, regardless of what WB/DC did, I would not want to see Disney and Marvel do anything different with their shared universe. I’m not looking for a replacement, I’m just looking for more of a good thing.

It was 2016 before we ever saw Batman and Superman in a live action movie together. If Superman Returns is my choice for biggest missed opportunity in comic book movie history, Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice is my choice for most disappointing film in comic book movie history.

Warner Bros and DC seem to have found their groove a bit more with recent releases like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and SHAZAM after a rocky period stemming from the fallout of BvS. I’m personally hoping they can stay the course this time, and finally give us the connected DC movie universe (or multiverse, I suppose) that we’ve been waiting nearly 20 years for. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop wondering what it could have looked like if they’d taken that big swing when they had their first shot at glory.

Go To War For ‘Warrior’

“It’s Deadwood, but with Kung Fu!”
I’d bet dollars-to-donuts that was the elevator pitch for the Cinemax (now HBO Max) series ‘Warrior.’ And, if that’s enough to get you to watch it, then my work here is done. But if you need more reasons, then I’ll do my best to provide them below.
I’ll state this right off-the-bat, I’ll be going into some spoilers, but nothing that should affect your enjoyment of – or investment in – the show.

Here’s the jumping off point: Ah Sahm arrives in 1870’s San Francisco from China. When confronted with some racist dickweeds, he promptly whoops their asses with ease. This puts a damper on his plans to take a job as a “coolie” – a derogatory term for an unskilled laborer – building railroad tracks.

Fortunately for him, Wang Chao pulls him away from the ruckus with a seemingly better deal. Chao is that character you find in these types of stories who knows everyone, plays every side, and always has an exit plan in his back pocket. His exit plan for Ah Sahm, less fortunately for him, involves selling the man to the Hop Wei to serve as a “hatchet man” or enforcer.

The Hop Wei is a Tong, essentially a Chinese crime family, who are currently in the midst of navigating their way around two other Tongs in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Father Jun is the hard-ass head of the family. But his son, Young Jun, takes an immediate liking to Ah Sahm when he finds out just how well he can “Scrap.” Scrapping is fighting and, yes, some of the vernacular of the period gets a bit overplayed (especially another one that I’ll get to shortly). But that’s just a small complaint.

Young Jun is a bit restless, and has a tough time keeping his thoughts about maybe being more fit to run the Hop Wei than his father is to himself. At any rate, he promptly takes Ah Sahm to the local hot spot (i.e brothel) run by Ah Toy. At the brothel is where we learn one more, very colorful term that you’ll hear a lot – “getting sticky.” Considering where they are when you hear this euphemism, you can likely figure out what it means. Ah Sahm bonds pretty quickly with Ah Toy, who has a very cool after-hours hobby of her own that I won’t spoil here. But she earns Ah Sahm’s trust enough to learn the reason why he came to Chinatown: To find his sister.

It doesn’t take long for his to find his sister in the last place he’d expect. She’s (unofficially) running one of the other Tongs: The Long Zii. Mai Ling fled to America years before to escape an arranged marriage to an abusive warlord. A marriage she was forced into to save Ah Sahm’s life, which she is absolutely nurturing a big-time grudge over. But she’s also planning to take down the Hop Wei using group of people who might as well be gangsters: The politicians.

Mai Ling has secret meetings with Walter Buckley, who is running his own schemes alongside the fairly incompetent Mayor Samuel Blake. Blake is married to Penny, in an arrangement not unlike Mai Ling’s. Penny’s formerly wealthy father’s business has been free-falling, so she volunteered to marry the mayor in order to get a city contract to pump back up her father’s financials. The wheelings and dealings of city officials, and broke businessmen bring us back around to cheap labor, and coolies. Which, in-turn, bring us to the truest villains of the story.

The Irish laborers have fallen on hard times, and are not helped by the fact that the Chinese are willing to work for a lot less money. Coupled with the fact that the manufacturers are more-then-willing to pay as little as possible, makes for a lethal combination. There is a level of vicious racism on display here that, up until recent years, we were happy to pretend no longer existed in this country. The silver lining is that we get to watch these guys get kicked in the face pretty regularly by Ah Sahm, and others.

The exception to this is the character meant to singularly represent all this heinous bigotry, and “patriotic” fury: Dylan Leary. Leary is an undefeated bare-knuckles boxer in his spare time, though most of his free time is spent riling up anyone without earshot about the Chinese “parasites” who don’t belong in this country, and are stealing their livelihoods. This line of bullshit probably sounds all-too familiar these days, as people like Leary still exist today, and will never stop sounding the drums of a race war.

Putting the least amount of effort possible into preventing this race war, the city creates a Chinatown Squad that consists of all of five cops. Only two of these cops really matter to the story. The first is Sgt. “Big Bill” O’Hara, who’s seen more than his share of Chinatown vices. Most of which comes from his own gambling addiction that puts him in the crosshairs of the Fung Hai Tong. O’Hara is your classic used-to-be-a-good-cop who will eventually find his way into trying-to-be-a-good-cop-again territory thanks to the other pertinent member of the Chinatown Squad: Officer Richard Lee.

Officer Lee is a transplant from the south, who made his way so far from home for reasons that are addressed near the end of season 1. He’s a good deal more open-minded than pretty much any other white character on the show, besides Penny, which is a bit of a twist considering his geographic origins. He also dabbles in some shockingly modern crime scene investigation techniques. If there was one character besides Ah Sahm who could support their own show, it would probably be Lee.

Ironically, Lee was likely given his name as an homage to the man who wrote the actual original pitch for the show: Bruce Lee. ‘Warrior’ was something he tried to get off the ground back in the early-70’s, but it never happened. I expect this was due to America not being ready for a TV show with a predominantly Asian cast at the time, and Lee’s own tragic, untimely death. But his daughter Shannon Lee is a producer, and she’s brought along the creative team from another Cinemax show that featured weekly ass-beatings: ‘Banshee’

Which bring us full circle back to the Kung Fu. If that long list of characters and their relationships to one another seems a bit dense, fear not, it’s all dished out in easily digestible segments between awesome scrapping, and getting sticky. The fight choreography is as good, if not better, than anything I’ve ever seen on TV, and they give you two or three of these fight scenes every episode. I mentioned Deadwood earlier, but the way the characters speak to one another is more akin to the lighter, snappier dialogue of Justified (itself a modern western).

The title of this blog post is Going to War For ‘Warrior.’ But really, the war in this case is just to sit back, fire up your HBO Max, and plow through the first two seasons that you find there. It was recently re-located from Cinemax, and not yet renewed for a third season. I expect they’re waiting to see how many eyeballs they can get on the show before decided whether or not to renew.

So do yourself a favor, and get your eyeballs on one of the most purely entertaining TV shows that I’ve watched in years.

Ranking The Films Of The DC Multiverse

Since Warner Bros and DC have decided to officially open up the multiverse, I figured now was as good a time as any to list my personal ranking.

This list is primarily based on how much I enjoy each film. Some I’ve seen more recently than others, but I’ve seen every one more than once, so I feel like I’ve got a pretty solid base to work with.

The qualifying criteria to make the list is that it needs to be live action, and a film. Believe me, I know very well that there are a number of awesome animated shows and movies, but this list would be insanely long and complicated if I’d included them.

I debated whether or not to include the Watchmen HBO miniseries, but it is technically a TV show, so I opted not to. The list does, however, include the Watchmen movie from 2009 that brought us (is to blame for?) the Snyderverse vision of the DCEU.

The Dark Knight – Some choices are obvious ones, even if we’d like to shake things up a little bit. But this is best live action versions of Batman, and the Joker, and is directed by Chris Nolan at the top of his game. I do knock it a bit for the somewhat rushed, and abbreviated, Two-Face origin and resolution. But that’s not quite enough to knock it out of the #1 spot.

Batman (1989) – This one came out when I was 10 years-old and, to this day, I can still quote it nearly verbatim. My mom took me to see the movie, and we waited in-line for hours while showing after showing sold out. Then, in a ballin’ mom moment, she decided to let me stay up for a midnight show. That left a huge impression on me, and so did this movie. It’s iconic in many ways, and so it finds itself at #2 with a bullet.

SHAZAM! – This one being ranked so high frankly shocked even me. But I’ve seen it a few times, so the rewatchability factor is strong, and I’ve even shown it to my 5 year-old son. I just really love its Gremlins/Goonies sort-of-horror vibe. The fact that it is clearly based in a world where our favorite superheroes exist, and the characters respond to those heroes exactly like you’d imagine people would, makes me feel pretty good about placing it this high.

Batman Begins – A true turning point in the superhero movie genre. Coming out in 2005, it took what worked in the Tim Burton films, as well as in more recent comic flicks like Blade and X-Men, and took things to the next level. A much needed course correction after Batman Forever and Batman & Robin sent the Bat franchise flying off the rails.

Wonder Woman – Just a super-solid film, top-to-bottom (barring a slightly miscalculated CGI smackdown in the climax). But everything about the movie worked: From its characterizations, to its humor, and its heart. The No Man’s Land reveal and scene, leading directly into the liberation of the small village is one of the most rousing 15 minutes you’ll ever see in a superhero film. I’m not sure you’ll ever see a more perfectly cast Wonder Woman than Gal Gadot.

Batman Returns – I like Christmas, and find carnivals slightly unnerving, so this was right up my alley. Definitely had more Tim Burton DNA than the 1989 movie, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Still a highly watchable film.

Aquaman – I never had much interest in the guy who can talk to fish, but this movie turned me around almost entirely by itself. By tapping into the Arthurian Legend side of Aquaman’s story, it was able to transform the underwater world into an eye-popping extravaganza. A charismatic lead performance by Jason Momoa also helped get me onboard for the ride.

Man Of Steel – This one took a bit of a pounding in the years after its release for the mass destruction of Metropolis, but I don’t think the casualty rate was intentional when it was being made. I did re-watch it recently and, while I still don’t care at all for Kevin Costner and Zack Snyder’s characterization of Jonathan Kent, there is still a lot I like. Henry Cavill is a fine Superman, Amy Adam is always reliable, and I somehow forgot that Russell Crowe was in this movie. But the superfights, for all their (presumably) unintended consequences, were the sort I’d wanted to see ever since I first saw our next entry.

Superman II – Lots of problem with this one, especially with an uneven tone that likely was spawned by passing through several different screenplays, and directors. But Christopher Reeve will always epitomize the big screen Superman in a way that no one else can. Terence Stamp is a lot of fun, and don’t think “Kneel before Zod” hasn’t been kicking around in my lexicon for 35 years. But there was another great line that sometimes doesn’t get its due for boiling down the greatness of the Man of Steel into one question “General, would you care to step outside?”

The Dark Knight Rises – I think this one suffered greatly from the loss of Heath Ledger, as having the Joker play a sort of Hannibal Lector monster-in-a-glass-cage role would have been a real treat. Some of the twists seem obvious and unneeded, and the natural upping of the sequel’s scale got a little unwieldy. But Tom Hardy is legitimately frightening as Bane, Anne Hathaway is a decent Catwoman, and Christian Bale nails it one last time as Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League – You can find my deep dive right here.

Superman: The Movie – Yes, this is the one that started it all, but it doesn’t really hold up all that well to a modern eye. The pacing is a bit too methodical once you’ve seen literally dozens of these films razzle and dazzle you from start-to-finish in the proceeding years. Lex Luthor & company are too jokey for my taste, Lois Lane’s “Can you read my mind” inner monologue/poem is hokey as hell, and Superman spinning the world backwards will never not get an eye-roll from me. Still, I’ve got to respect what it was able to do by kicking door open for all the comic book adaptations that would later come.

Superman Returns – I could (and likely will) write a whole separate blog about how this was the single biggest missed opportunity in the history of comic book films. But, for now, I’ll just focus on why it appears in this spot on my list. There are things I like: The costume looks great, Brandon Routh is a good Man of Steel, and Kevin Spacey delivers as Lex Luthor (and that’s all I’ll say about Spacey at this time), and its overall vibe feels about right. But its devotion to the first two Superman films from another era is a problem. I mean, one of the main plotlines stems from Superman II’s bizarre, and morally-disturbing-in-hindsight Super Amnesia Kiss. Also, the fact they chose not to have Superman face off with a physical threat in 2006 – when they had the technology to make it work- was a really questionable choice.

Wonder Woman 1984 – I feel like history will be kinder to WW84 than the immediate backlash was. Kristen Wiig is fine as the friend-turned-super-enemy, and Pedro Pascal is clearly having a ball. But they probably should have chosen one villain or the other, rather than trying to cram them both into a single film. Still, unlike the movies lower on the list, I wouldn’t really call WW84 a bad film. Though, it certainly could have been better.

Justice League (The Whedon Cut)- This felt like a 2 or 3 episode arc of the animated Justice League cartoon. And I say that as both a compliment, and a complaint. It was as quick, and to-the-point as the animated series, which would have worked just fine it if wasn’t also was chopped-up, reshot, undercooked, and overbaked. But I’d be lying if I said that Superman showing up just in the nick of time (weird CGI’d upper lip and all) and throwing a full-on beatdown on the heretofore unbeatable big bad Steppenwolf, doesn’t still make me smile.

Birds Of Prey – I was glad that Margot Robbie had a chance to do a little more justice to Harley Quinn than she was given in Suicide Squad. But the other protagonists of Black Canary and Huntress simply didn’t make any impression on me. Maybe, if they’d had them in cooler, more comics-accurate costumes, it would have been a bit more striking. Who knows? Maybe their lack of screen time together would have been a deal-breaker regardless. But Ewan McGregor and Chris Messina are fascinatingly unsettling, and that keeps this movie ranked about the bottom tier.

Joker – A very mediocre movie buoyed by a great lead performance by Joaquin Phoenix. I don’t have a lot more to say about this movie as-a-whole since, like I said, I felt everything other than the lead role was pretty “meh”. I will say that, when Phoenix finally dons the make-up, and blasts the punchline into Robert DeNiro’s face, I had to nod in-approval. Too bad they waited until the last 15 minutes of the movie to actually get to the “Joker” part.

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice – I wanted to love this movie from the time I saw the first teaser trailer, all the way up until the final frame. But it failed on virtually every level. If they had re-written the Bruce Wayne part to be Lex Luthor, and completely dropped the Riddler-esque version of Luthor Jesse Eisenberg deposited on-screen, this movie may well have been near the top of my list. But grim-and-gritty doesn’t work for Superman, and we really didn’t need to get to Doomsday so quickly. The fact that Snyder felt the need to kill Superman three different times in this movie probably tells you all you need to know about how he feels about the character. Batman simply drops too many bodies to ignore, though the warehouse fight may have been the best Batman fight captured on film. Wonder Woman was a nice surprise, but not nearly enough to save BvS from itself.

Batman Forever – Sort of caught between the goth world of Batman Returns and the pinball machine aesthetic of Batman & Robin, this one had a few redeeming qualities. Val Kilmer is pretty decent as both Bruce Wayne and Batman, for example. The movie is amusing enough to sit through without being aggressively terrible. But Tommy Lee Jones plays Two-Face completely wrong. He really shouldn’t have tried to out Jim Carrey Jim Carrey (who is, somehow, more nuanced in his role as The Riddler than Jones is). I normally like Chris O’Donnell, but they really should have gone for a younger Dick Grayson/Robin.

Watchmen – The movie looks great, so I can understand why WB liked Snyder enough to usher in their next wave of movies. But, thematically, he’s much too comfortable with Objectivism and mankind’s moral failings to be the right man for bring DC’s most prominently hope-inspiring characters to life. But, those leanings worked well for Watchmen. I almost had this one higher on my list due to a handful of scenes and moments that were really cool. But, ultimately, they never should have tried to adapt this with anything less than 10 hours or so to work with.

Green Lantern – Full disclosure: I totally forgot to add this to my initially published list. But, really, can you blame me? I don’t have a whole lot to say about it. Ryan Reynolds had the completely wrong vibe for Hal Jordan, though he found a superhero sweet spot just a few years later with Deadpool. Presenting Parallax as a giant fart cloud, and Hector Hammond as a walking scrotum probably weren’t great creative choices. But the Lantern costume effects were not terrible. All-in-all, a very forgettable entry in the comic book movie canon.

Movie poster, Superman III, 1983. 1987.0213.032.

Superman III – Weirdly, this was the closest they’ve ever come to unleashing a live action Brainiac. If they ever get around to making a proper Man Of Steel sequel, he needs to be at the top of their villain list. The movie is just not good, and there’s not a whole lot to say about it. The one cool Evil Superman vs Clark Kent junkyard fight that may-or-may-not have been a delusion brought on by a Kryptonite-induced psychotic break is really the only thing keeping this ranked above the bottom-feeders below.

Batman: The Movie (1966) – I mean, they clearly made exactly what they wanted to make here. It just so happens that it doesn’t work for me at all. This silly movie, and the silly show that followed, are the reason why no one tried to make a remotely serious superhero movie until 1978. But, again, they did all that on-purpose. Which is the only thing that separates Batman: The movie from the remaining films on the list.

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace – My dad took my to see this on when I was 8 years-old, and I’m pretty sure the Nuclear Man scratching Superman’s neck with his radioactive fingernail thus somehow transforming the Man of Steel into a cardigan-wearing elderly man made me cry. But, anyone older than 8 years-old, can see just how cheaply this was made. And just how minimal the effort was to throw the character’s name on a poster, and try to cash in. It’s pretty much unwatchable.

Batman & Robin – The movie that killed Batman movies for almost a decade. I suppose this gaudy piece of eyeball puke was the rock bottom that superhero movies needed in order to reset. So, in that respect, I suppose we owe it a weird debt of gratitude. Just not enough of a debt to ever sit through it again.

Suicide Squad – Just a complete mess, pure and simple. Like Justice League, this one was all chopped up, and then Frankensteined back together two or three times, and it shows. The difference is that Justice League at least had iconic characters that I wanted to see on-screen. Suicide Squad did not, to say the least. Characters are introduced multiple times, and extremely lazy song needle drops pervade the entire first act. The story itself makes zero sense starting right from Viola Davis’ (as Amanda Waller) question “What if Superman had decided to grab the President of the United States right out of the Oval Office? Who would’ve stopped him?” The answer is the same as my answer regarding who I want to watch a movie about: “Absolutely not any of these guys.”

Archangel’s Descent

NOW

I

Another dark night. Another abandoned warehouse. Another crew of drug dealers who need to be dealt with. In some ways it’s like a recurring nightmare, or an infinite loop that I’m caught in.

Sometimes I wish I could break free, move on to another city, another country, another world. Someplace where I can leave the weight of Stonebridge City far behind, no longer hoisting it up on my shoulders until it feels like my spine is compressing. Crushing each vertebra into powder until only dust remains beneath my flesh.

But Stonebridge City is my city. That was a decision I made long ago. My carrying of this city is the only thing that keeps it from falling into the abyss, and crashing at the bottom of the fathomless pit below.

That is why I find myself once again speeding through the void of this never-ending night on a motorcycle custom-built for silence and stealth.

Some believe me to be a ghost cloaked in blackness, invisible as it rides amongst the other shadows. But those who contemplate me with fear do so with good reason. The criminal element will always fear the unknown, since those who feed on the fear of others are the ones more likely to be devoured by their own.

And so, they anticipate that whomever, or whatever, lurks in the ether hunts them with the same ruthless intentions that drive their own actions. I may be out here seeking the worst of humanity, but my reason for being out here is not these dregs.

It is the others that I am out here for. The victims. The innocents. The people trying their best to find a glimmer of hope and kindness in an otherwise cruel and hopeless world.

They don’t see me as a ghost, but as a guardian angel. A warrior who is willing to fight an unending war to keep them safe, because he is the only one who can. That’s why those people long ago named me Archangel.

But, if these people knew exactly why I was on this pier going to this warehouse tonight, they might call me by a different name.

“Mr. Angel,” I’m greeted by Chaz as I enter the warehouse. The shaking in his voice is already prevalent, though he’s trying to hide it. “We weren’t expecting you tonight.”

“I can tell,” I say to him, looking past his shoulder and into the office where I see who I’m looking for.

Chaz is trying to get a read on my expression, which isn’t easy to do since only my mouth and chin are exposed from beneath the helmet. He’s trying to look into my eyes just as hard as he’s trying not to. But the lenses are white-tinted, so he can’t see anything other than his own fearful reflection in them – which is exactly the point of their design.

“What I mean is…we can explain,” Chaz continued, now clearly rattled.

“We?” I ask, still looking through the window to the office.

“Well,” he backtracks, “Donnie can explain.”

“Good,” I tilt my head away from the children in the office, and at Chaz. “Because he’s going to have to.”

There are eight kids in all. The oldest among them is no more than twelve years old, the youngest looks to be nine or ten. Some are trying to make their best grown-up poses as they speak, no doubt emulating the dealers who recruited them. What they’re actually discussing is not important, so I don’t bother enhancing the volume in my earpieces.

The younger ones aren’t even trying to posture. They just look confused, and nervous about what they may be asked to do once they’re trained to run the products, and the cash drops from corner to corner. Two of them are even wearing sweaters with a picture of some cartoon dogs from a kids’ show.

They went from watching cartoons this morning to being coerced into the drug trade this evening. I’ll bet their parents think each of them are playing at a different one’s house right now. Pretend adventurers, real life drug couriers.

I take a moment to compose myself before addressing Chaz again.

“Where’s Donnie?” I ask.

“Out on the dock, Mr. Angel, sir,” he quickly replies.

“Is he alone?” I continue.

“No, sir. He’s got five or six of the boys with them.”

“Packing?”

“Automatics.”

I offer no more than a grunt, before running my thumb over the handle of one of the throwing knives in the crisscrossing bandoliers strapped across my chest. I then nod towards the table at the center of the room that’s littered with narcotics, and high stacks of money.

“Give each of those kids a brick of cash, and send them home,” I tell Chaz. “And make sure they know that, if they if they end up on the street slingin’ this shit, they’re going to have to deal with me. You got all that?”

“Yes sir, Mr. Angel, sir!” he blurts.

“When they’re gone, come and meet us on the dock.”

He scrambles over to the table, and starts gathering up cash in his arms. I walk past him, through the length of the warehouse, and emerge at the docks on the other side.

I can see the lights of the city across the river sparkling through the clear night sky. The skyline is beautiful from afar, but its murky reflection in the inky black water of the river presents a more accurate likeness of Stonebridge City’s true self: Superficially beautiful and outwardly thriving, but with a dark, beating heart beneath the black mirror surface.

Still, that’s a damn sight better than it was before I returned.

Chaz’ count was right, Donnie is standing at the center of five of his most trusted soldiers. Each one has a machine gun strapped across his chest except for the man himself. He invested in a chrome-plated .357 revolver to serve as a badge flaunting his rank.

Of course, you can only see the pearl handle grip, and the shining hammer sticking up from the front of his jeans. I should have known better than to place a man who wears his authority so poorly in a position of power.

Whatever happens here in the next three minutes tonight is on my shoulders. But why should this be any different than anything else in this city?

“Mr. Angel,” Donnie greets me with a self-satisfied smile. “What brings you here tonight?”

“I heard a rumor about you involving some kids, that couldn’t possibly be true. Not after the last conversation we had on the topic,” I reply.  “There’s no way Donnie could be that stupid, I thought. That careless. But then I dropped by to check it out anyway, and imagine my surprise.”

I finally stop walking towards the group when I’m no more than two feet away from the nearest gunman. It doesn’t take more than a shift in my posture for the lackeys to all clear out the space between myself and Donnie.

“To say nothing of the new gear for your boys,” I make a show of looking at each machine gun. “I thought you understood the rules, Donnie. My rules.”

“Of course I understand the rules, Mr. A,” he offers casually, I offer a frown in-response, and he changes his tone “Mr. Angel, I mean. But we were starting to catch some serious heat. Riley’s got the pigs all tuned up, and looking to rock.”

“If the police are closing in on you, then you simply need to be smarter,” I state.

“That why I brought in the youth movement,” he says, as if he feels that was the obvious answer. “The kids transport the merchandise, and the cash, from our buyers and clients. If they get caught, no one does any time other than in juvie, and my crew stays intact.”

“Yes, I know how it works,” I say with a smile that blocks my snarl. “That’s beside the point. The point is that this is my city. We’re in agreement about that, aren’t we?” Donnie nods. “Good. And in my city you follow my rules. Is that equally as clear?”

“Mr. A…” the crew can see my jaw muscles tighten, causing them each to take another step back. “Mr. Angel…”

Without another word I move in closer to him. He doesn’t flinch, which is a bad sign for how I was hoping this would play out.

“I’m trying to make you some money here,” he disputes, his fingers almost subconsciously moving towards the handle of his pistol. “I’m trying to make us all some money!”

“I run the entire drug trade in this city. You work for the man who runs the entire drug trade in this city. Do you think we’re hurting for money?” I growl.

“Man, there’s always more money to make,” Donnie argues.

“We make as much money as my rules allow us to,” I tell him.

“And what about my boys getting busted?” he asks, his fingers twitching around his waistband.

“If you, or your boys, are incapable of doing this job the right way, then you need to find another line of work,” I explain.

He starts to talk again before I cut him off: “But you don’t need to worry about getting arrested anymore, Donnie. See, I gave you a choice last time you tried to bring kids into my business. Leave town, or follow my rules. You chose the latter, and I gave you a second chance. I don’t do third chances.”

“You sayin’ there’s no choice this time?” Donnie says with as much swagger as he can muster.

“There’s always a choice,” I correct him. “But there are different options this time. Option one: You walk down to the nearest precinct, turn yourself in, offer a full confession, and do your time.”

“What’s option two?” he asks, now opening and closing his hand over the .357.

“You don’t want to choose option two,” I tell him straight.

“I ain’t going back to jail, Mr. A,” he says, making a show of not correcting himself this time.

“This isn’t a negotiation, Donnie,” I offer him one last out. “Take the walk, do the time. It’s the only time you’re going to get tonight.”

His breathing has picked up, and his eyes are bulging slightly. He’s scared, but still thinks he has a chance. I wish he was smarter than this, but I’m not surprised that he isn’t.

The throwing knife is out of my hand before he even fully pulls the cannon out of his waistband. I spin it with enough velocity to punch deep through his eye socket, and into his brain.

He’s falling backwards even as he fires his round so far off the mark that I don’t even need to shift my stance to avoid it.

I take note of the gunmen on either side of me. None of them have moved, so I guess they’re all wiser than Donnie. From the corner of my eye I see Chaz standing next to the last goon in line.

“Guns on the ground,” I say, without moving.

Each man in-turn lifts the strap over his head, and places the heavy artillery on the ground.

“Chaz,” I say, turning towards him. “What are my rules?”

“No victims, no violence,” he recites automatically.

“And using children as couriers?” I ask.

“Makes them victims,” Chaz says.

“And carrying machine guns?”

“Invites violence, and risks creating more victims.”

“Congratulations, Chaz,” I say, walking closer to him. “You’re now the boss of this crew.”

“Thank you Mr. Angel, I promise I won’t let you down!”

“Gentlemen,” I say to the rest of the crew as I walk over to Donnie’s body.

The back of his head is lifted off the pavement as I pull at the knife blade. Once the blade is fully removed, his head drops again with a thud. I make a show of wiping the blood off the blade, and onto Donnie’s clothes, making sure the others notice.

 “Take care of this,” I nod towards Donnie’s body, and then gesture for Chaz to follow me back towards the warehouse as the others move in on Donnie. “Donnie’s only family was his mother, right?”

“Yes, sir,” he says. “She’s an invalid, can’t really support herself.”

“Bring her half of Donnie’s share every month,” I tell him. “Keep the other half for yourself. Consider it a raise to go along with your promotion.”

“That’s too generous, sir,” Chaz says.

“That’s just business,” I reply, as my stealth cycle is now in-sight.

“Mr. Angel, what do I tell Donnie’s mom if she asks about him?”

“Tell her the truth,” I say, mounting the bike. “The heat got to him, so he had to go. Anything else?”

“No, sir. I can take it from here.”

“Good. Once Donnie is recycled, tell the crew to take the rest of the night off.”

With that, I ride silently back into the city, for it cannot survive without its dark, beating heart.

Besides, I’ve still got a busy night ahead of me.

FIVE YEARS AGO

I

Off to a pretty damn good start, if I may say so myself.

Good thing too, I’d hate to think I’d wasted half my life training for this, only to blow it right out of the gate. Thus far, that has not been a problem.

After getting back to Stonebridge City a few weeks ago, I was able to find my way back to that decommissioned subway station I’d stumbled upon before I’d left.

Jesus, was that really a dozen years ago? I can’t tell if it feels like a lot more, or a lot less. I suppose it really feels more like returning to a world that I’d left that now feels both alien, and familiar.

Familiar in that everything is the same as when I left. Every street turns into the same corner, and every person moves with the same casual cautiousness that comes with knowing you’re not exactly safe but believing that – since you understand the fear – you can protect yourself from the looming danger.

Yet it’s alien in that I feel like I’m viewing this city with different eyes. All that time I spent with South American paramilitary groups, bleeding edge weapons designers in Europe, and that ninja clan in Japan provided me with new filters through which to see the world.

Looking out at Stonebridge City now, I can see dangerous situations unfurl before they even begin. I can tell the difference between the predators and the prey just by the way they carry themselves. I understand what movements are coming, and which counter-moves I’ll need to make in order to resolve the situation before the first strike is even attempted.

Although, that last belief needed to be tested before I would truly buy-in. I got my first opportunity on Saturday night. It was as good a night as any, since people were out and about late at night, while the wolves in the shadows waited for the calves to wander from the herd.

I moved with the flow of humanity from rooftop- to-rooftop. The architecture in this city was constructed with many building in such close proximity so they could squeeze every last drop of real estate from it. As such, a simple leap is usually enough to cover the space between roofs over a majority of downtown, and midtown.

I found more uses for the grapnel hook gun when I got uptown. Small enough to fit in a holster on my right thigh, but loaded with a tightly coiled, high tension wire that could carry more than twice my weight if the need should arise.

The firing mechanism is designed to be silent, but can easily launch the hook across the width of any of Stonebridge’s main avenues, and embed itself into a brick building on the other side.

Admittedly, I was nervous to try it in the field for the first time, but I knew I had to be able to trust my gear as much as I trust my own skills if I’m going to survive in this life long enough to make a difference.

That being said, it was still exhilarating to swing across those canyons of the city. I imagine the sensation I felt was much the same as a Post-Human feels when first taking flight.

But I quickly moved past that thrill, because I didn’t come back here seeking thrills. I came back here to help people, and to bring justice to those who’ve escaped it. I came back here to save lives. To save this city.

The dark streets below, lightly traversed, made this feel like the place to start. I always remembered hearing horror stories about the careless souls who wandered uptown, walked down the wrong street, and were devoured by the night.

So, I knelt on the ledge, switched the lenses in my helmet to night vision, and adjusted the levels in my earpieces to minimize ambient noise and maximize human voices.

I pick up bits and pieces from conversations happening on the top four floors of the building. Couples arguing about bills, and drunks blabbering about how the world screwed them over are the loudest, and the first that I hear.

I also hear the laughter between friends or family members enjoying the evening together. They’re sharing stories, and memories, and stories that they try to pass off as memories since the truth has been lost to the past.

But this is not what I’m listening for tonight. I adjust the balance levels further with the touchpad controls under the gauntlet on my left forearm.

There’s a different quality, a different vibration that comes from a voice echoing off the walls of the alleys below. These are what I’m listening for. The people in the labyrinth below who are unexpectedly nearing the Minotaur in the center of it.

“Leave her alone!” echoes from below.

“Naw, we’re gonna show her what it’s like to have real men givin’ it to her.”

I can hear the impact of the butt of a pistol cracked on the back of a head. And then a woman’s screams.

I’m across the rooftop, and making a few quick configuration changes to my grapnel gun in a heartbeat. I hook it onto the inside of the ledge, click it into place on the harness at my belt buckle, and then rappel down the side of the building.

The descent feels like a freefall, but I never lose control of it. The two attackers are standing over another man, who’s curled up in a fetal position. The girl is trapped with a ten-foot-high fence behind her, and two thugs standing between her and the entrance to the alley.

I touch down on the ground silently, and release the harness. The men haven’t seen me yet, but the girl has. She looks past them, between them, and views me with a mixture of uncertainty, hope, and fear.

“That’s alright, mama,” one of the men says leeringly. “You don’t have to look at us, as long as you feel us.”

“Feel this,” I say, now within arm’s reach of them.

“Who the f…” the one with the gun turns toward me enough for me to grab, and twist his wrist; wrenching the pistol from his grip.

While his mouth is still open in mid-scream, I crack him across the cheekbone with a pistol whip. He drops to his knees from that blow, giving me room to swing a forward roundhouse kick over his head, blasting his partner’s nose into five pieces with it.

Both are bleeding on the ground, but not yet unconscious. That’s easily corrected with a pair of quick elbows into the base of their skulls. I break out a pair of zip-ties from a pouch on my left thigh, and bind their hands behind their backs.

The girl’s kneeling beside the beaten man and asking him if he’s alright, while I fasten myself once again to the grapnel gun.

“Who are you?” she asks me from the ground. “Are you one of them? A superhero?”

“I’m just someone who wants to help. Call 9-1-1 and find a safe place nearby to wait for the police to arrive,” I say, before triggering the recoil, and ascending back to the rooftop.

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