2025 – A Good Year For Capes & Screams

Two types of movies that I have always loved are horror films and superhero films, and 2025 has been a really good year for both so far.

My favorite horror movies this year are sort of more hybrids than straight-up horror.
Sinners is a really well-mixes action-horror with inspirational ties to a couple of my favorite horror flicks from the ’90’s: From Dusk Til Dawn and Tales From The Crypt Presents Demon Knight. Another old movie that seemed to be reflected here was the mid-80’s Italian horror cult classic: Demons.
Ryan Coogler is one of the most accomplished directors working today, so him delivering the good here was less of a surprise than the several full-blown and catchy musical numbers in the film.

Danny Boyle and Alex Garland coming back for – what I suppose would be considered a legacy sequel (legasequel) at this point – 28 Year Later was probably less of a sure thing than Sinners, but they made a movie worthy of following up one of the tightest and most influential horror movies of all-time: 28 Days Later.
In some ways it’s very different than the original but, considering it’s set nearly thirty years into England being quarantined from the rest of the world, it had to be in order to make any sense.
The fact that all the folk horror and zombie action are window dressing for a young man’s coming-of-age story is an intriguing Trojan Horse job that is much better than it really had to be in order to be considered a success.

Weapons goes even younger with its mysteriously missing kids plot, though only one of the children actually plays a part in the story – at least until its very cathartic ending. It also takes a stronger mystery and humor angle than Sinners or 28 Years Later.
The filmmaker – Zach Cregger – doesn’t have nearly the same resume as Coogler, Boyle, or Garland, but between Weapons and Barbarian he’s well on his way to finding a similar niche as someone like Jordan Peele as someone who can consistently be counted on to putting out horror flicks with widespread appeal

Thunderbolts* (aka New Avengers) and Fantastic Four were the two most enjoyable MCU films since Spider-Man: No Way Home. That Spidey flick was more of a stunt to pull in an avalanche of nostaglia cred – and worked wonderfully as such. But Thunderbolts* is probably a better as a start-to-finish movie, and was a solid effort to make a smaller (by MCU standards) film. It also handles very real mental health struggles with a far more deft hand than one might expect from the MCU. I was very happy when they handed its director – Jake Schreier – the keys to X-Men.

Fantastic Four works for similar reasons – making us actually care about the characters – but also because it is able to truly stand alone as a movie, without needing to have any prior knowledge of the 15+ years of MCU history. In fact, that’s why I was able to bring my kids (9 years-old and 6 years-old) to the movie, and they were able to completely enjoy it on its own merits.

We also took the kids to see Superman – which they loved nearly as much as I did – and they were able to get in on the ground floor for the new DC Universe, which will be shepherded in by James Gunn.
I’ve always liked Gunn’s films, and his TV shows, dating all the way back to movies like Slither and Super.
As someone who grew up on the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, I am not afraid to say that I felt like the new Superman was the best Superman movie. It had all the heart of those first two Reeves films, but it was able to deliver action sequences that simply were not possible 40+ years ago.
Superman, the character, has always been he platonic ideal of non-toxic masculinity.
This is a man with incredible powers who cares deeply for people, respects people, fights for all the people who face enemies and dangers that they could not hope to stand against alone.
But he’s also flawed, and he makes mistakes – but he recognizes and accepts those flaws and mistakes, and does what he can to become the best version of himself.
That’s something that the world really needs to see now more than it has in a long time, and I was so happy to take my boys to experience that on the big screen.

The Evolution Will Be Televised: How Barry and Stranger Things Embraced Change

Two of my favorite shows on TV recently wrapped their latest seasons. Well, technically Stranger Things has not yet wrapped season four, but the seven episodes that Netflix dropped in-advance of two more in July is close enough to constitute a season to help me make my point. Barry, meanwhile, actually did air its season three finale this past Sunday. While you may not think those two shows have very much in-common, there is one thing that links them: Their willingness to evolve when the situation demands it.

Spoiler Warning for Stranger Things Season 4 Part 1 and Barry Season 3

I’ll start with Stranger Things. The first three season of the show was, at its core, a show about kids. Unless you want to get super dark, shows (and stories in-general) about kids has a limit to how much true danger the kids find themselves in. Sure, some adults and ancillary teenagers have gotten killed on Stranger Things, but that’s different than having your primary characters – who happen to be children – suffering such a fate.

Now, the season three finale featured the death of a more central character than any of the previous episodes. Billy Hargrove, wicked stepbrother to Max Mayfield, had been possessed by the Mind Flayer and essentially fed it a bunch of people to turn it into a giant fleshy semi-kaiju. But, in the end, he managed to break his mind free, and died saving the life of Eleven. In some way, this signaled a turning point with the showrunners saying “No one is truly safe anymore.”

With a nearly two-year break between seasons three and four, the kids have grown into full-blown teens. Suffice to say, Teen Horror plays by different rules than Kids Horror. The Duffer Brother realized this, and drove season four straight into The Horror Zone. The new villain, Vecna, has a horrifying origin, and even more horrifying manner of claiming his victims – something between Freddy Krueger and Sadako/Samar from Ringu/The Ring. Max, who I mentioned earlier, landed right in Vecna’s crosshairs and needed the power of Kate Bush to escape. But my point is that, due to the need to escalate threats and endanger its now-teenage primary characters, the show evolved into something that can better utilize all the tools at its disposal.

For its first two seasons, Barry was a dark comedy about a hitman trying to leave the killing business behind while building a life for himself as a Hollywood actor. Or, at the very least, a guy taking an acting class and not killing people. It managed to sustain this even after the titular character murdered his old army buddy, and Detective Janice Moss who also happened to be the love of his acting teacher/idol’s Gene Cousineau’s life in order to keep the sins of his past a secret. But, again, the prior season hit a turning point that there was no turning back from.

By the end of season two, Barry Berkman had become obsessed with finding and murdering his former handler (and twisted father figure) Monroe Fuchs. This led Barry to a monastery where three separate gangs have met and called a truce, including the Chechens – who Barry helped train at the behest of his friend(?) NoHo Hank. But, with his bloodlust at a boil, Barry charged into the monastery and single-handedly wiped out almost every single person inside. Fuchs (who’s probably really more of a twisted uncle figure than twisted father figure now that I think about it) managed to escape, but the damage from unleashing his inner killing machine had nonetheless doomed Barry.

To their credit, Bill Hader and the creative team realized that it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense for Barry to go back to his acting class. Especially since Fuchs had told Cousineau that Barry was the one who murdered Janice. So, the show had to evolve, and it did so by having Barry re-commit to his unfortunate true calling as a killer-for-hire. This broke Barry in ways that he wasn’t already broken in (and he was already very broken) and the tone of the show shifted to reflect that. Season Three was probably the least funny (thought there were certainly still some laugh out loud scenes), and yet it may have been the best top-to-bottom season yet. In fact, I have a hard time remembering any single season of a show besides Breaking Bad that maintained such an intensity and persistent sense of dread throughout. On top of that, the events of the season three finale set the stage to evolve once again in season four, and I, personally, cannot wait to see what it becomes next.

Many shows that start out strong allow themselves to stagnate in the mire of status quo. Considering how much content is demanding our attention from networks and streamers in this modern Darwinist landscape of television, Stranger Things and Barry have wisely evolved to survive.

Ranking Raimi (Yes, Including Multiverse Of Madness)

Sam Raimi was my first favorite filmmaker. Army Of Darkness came out in 1992 when I was thirteen-years-old. I saw it in the theater, and thought it was just the absolute coolest thing ever. Funny, and scary, and action packed, it had everything I could possibly want in a movie. This was also the time in my life where I started paying attention to such things as “Who directed this movie?” and “Who wrote this movie?” So, as much as I had enjoyed movies like Batman or Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, I hadn’t immediately sought out every other movie that Tim Burton or Steven Spielberg had previously made.

But I did seek out everything Raimi had made prior to Army Of Darkness, and was not disappointed….at least not for the most part (coming to that in my rankings). I got my hands on Evil Dead and Evil Dead II first and, while they weren’t necessarily essential to my enjoyment of Army Of Darkness, they certainly added another layer to it. I then checked out Darkman and, considering my taste in comic books at the time, was shocked that I hadn’t discovered it sooner. I also got my butt in a theater opening weekend a few years later to see The Quick And The Dead, and that both reaffirmed my connection to Raimi’s films, and also led to my discovery of the grand cinematic history of the Western.

By 1998, my taste in movies had expanded, and so did Raimi’s genre-reach. A Simple Plan was very different from anything Raimi had done before, it had that neo-noir vibe that had been cropping up around that time, and executed it about as well as any other movie. I saw For Love Of The Game, and The Gift when they came out the next two years and, honestly, neither really did much for me. I had stopped reading comics, at least the monthly issues, by 2002 but that didn’t mean my excitement level was anything but nuclear when Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man exploded into theaters. 2004’s Spider-Man 2 improved on the already-great formula provided by the first film in almost every way. Spider-Man 3 came out in the dead zone of comic book movies between 2005’s Batman Begins and 2008’s The Dark Knight & Iron Man, and that’s about where the movie belongs.

But Raimi, probably jaded by Studio Suits insisting on Spider-Man 3’s cram job, got back to his horror roots in a big way in 2009’s Drag Me To Hell. The follow-up to that came four years later with Oz, The Great And Powerful, a movie that turned out so bad – likely due in large part to that same sort of studio interference – that Raimi left the director’s chair for almost a decade. He finally returned to theaters this past weekend with Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness. I’m not sure he would have ever wanted to jump back into the studio machine, even an absurdly successful machine such as The Marvel Cinematic Universe. But Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige learned a great deal about filmmaking from Sam Raimi while working under him for Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, and that probably gave Raimi a comfort level and confidence in the project that he wouldn’t otherwise have had. And I’m very glad he did, and Multiverse Of Madness was a lot of fun, and (perhaps surprisingly) a lot of Raimi.

With that, I’m ranking my favorite Same Raimi movies. I’m only picking from his feature films, so shorts and TV episodes will be left out. And, again, I’m ranking my favorite Raimi movies. So, while my higher choices may (or may not) be the most polished works, they are the ones I enjoyed the most.

15 – Crimewave (1985) – A swing and a miss. This was Raimi’s first studio film, as Evil Dead was a fully independent production. Maybe he had a hard time adjusting to a system where he didn’t have total creative control? Maybe he had too many ideas, and wasn’t quite sure how to make them work together, or which ones to cut? Either way, he swiftly put this one behind him and moved onto better things.

14 – Oz, The Great And Powerful (2013) – Not even remembered fondly or poorly enough to be a cautionary tale, which could be a cautionary tale unto itself. End of the day, though, it was a prime example of what happens when the worst impulses of a studio and (presumably) a filmmaker collide while churning some well-trod IP through the CGI paint-spill machine.

13 – For Love Of The Game (1999) – Raimi’s flare for inventive camerawork comes through during the scenes that take place during the baseball game itself. But, if this movie was really going to work, it needed the scenes interspersed throughout between romantic leads Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston to hit home, and those scenes simply did not.

12 – Spider-Man 3 (2007) – Raimi wanted the Lizard as the villain in this movie, but Sony/Columbia insisted that Venom get wedged in there. Would the movie have been better if they’d let Raimi make it his way? Probably. How much better? I’m not sure. The only thing leftover from Spider-Man 2 was finishing up Harry Osborn’s arc as he transformed into the new Green Goblin, and even that thread got lost in this tossed salad of a movie.

11 – The Gift (2000) – Cate Blanchett was just starting her run here that’s been going strong for 20+ years now. And the movie is an okay, southern gothic, murder mystery. But it’s not much more than just okay.

10 – The Evil Dead (1981) – This, along with 1978’s Halloween, proved that small-scale indie horror could sometimes be the best horror. Perhaps remembered as funnier than it actually was, likely because it gets a bit tangled up with Evil Dead II which was essentially just a bigger budget remake with more humor. The Evil Dead is the true definition of a cult film, and set the standard for a sub-genre defined by splattery, cabin-in-the-woods frightshows.

9 – A Simple Plan (1998) – Along with The Gift, this is much more of an “actors’ picture” than any of Raimi’s other films. I mentioned earlier that a slew of neo-noir movies rolled out in the late-90’s til the early-2000’s. Even in that mix, A Simple Plan sticks out as a shockingly subdued (for Raimi) morality play.

8 – Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (2022) – I’m as surprised as you are that this movie is ranked this high. I wouldn’t have thought it would be until the second half of the movie kicked in, and Raimi got to really dig into his bag of tricks. Multiverse Of Madness isn’t really top level MCU stuff, though maybe if Raimi had been at the helm from the start rather than brought in after the original director stepped away it could have gotten there. Either way, it’s a lot of crazy, and a lot of fun, and I was very happy to see Raimi making a big studio film that genuinely felt like one of his films after the Spider-Man 3 and Oz debacles.

7 – Spider-Man (2002) – The earliest two Producer credits on Kevin Feige’s IMBD page are X-Men (2000) and Spider-Man. He has a producer credit on virtually every Marvel film adaptation of the 21st century (for better and worse), and is the true Godfather of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. At any rate, X-Men went all nighttime battle scenes, and black leather costumes. While Spider-Man embraced red-and-blue spandex swinging in the sunshine. It’s pretty clear which of these films Feige referenced back to when shepherding the MCU into existence. What Sam Raimi did with Spider-Man laid the blueprint for the modern superhero movie.

6 – Drag Me To Hell (2009) – Mean, gross, scary, and funny. It’s so much like Evil Dead II that I’m frankly a bit surprised that it doesn’t get more shout-outs since its release. In fairness, Alison Lohman’s “Christine Brown” is not allowed to be as likeable as Bruce Campbell’s “Ash Williams” which may be why it’s not as beloved. But that’s also kind of the point of the movie. Raimi’s palate-cleanser from Spider-Man 3 is gag-inducing at times, but it’s all in good fun.

5 – Darkman (1990) – One of the many movies seemingly inspired by 1989’s Batman (Dick Tracy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are among the other immediate examples). But, while those three movies are actual comic book adaptations, Darkman is an original property. It very much feels like the love child of a superhero movie and a classic Universal Studios horror movie, and that makes sense when you consider the breadth of Raimi’s work.

4 – Army Of Darkness (1992) – I went into my love or this movie at the top of this article, so I won’t spend too much time on it here. Still a damn entertaining flick, even if the silliness doesn’t hit my funny bone quite as hard now as it did when I was thirteen. But I think it’s fair to call this “The Most Sam Raimi Movie Ever even if it may not be “The Best Sam Raimi Movie Ever”

3 – The Quick And The Dead (1995) – coming off the heels of the 1992 deconstructed Western: Unforgiven and 1993’s modernized Western: Tombstone, The Quick And The Dead is a Western crafted purely for popcorn piles and soda-chuggings. It’s so much fun, and plays like another of my favorite types of movie “the tournament movie” (see half of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s filmography). Raimi brings along his frenetic camerawork, and his bag of horror movie tricks to create something wholly unique. Doesn’t hurt that he cast Gene Hackman as his Unforgiven archetype, only with an itchier trigger finger, Sharon Stone in the brief period of time after Basis Instinct when she was the biggest actress in the world, Russell Crowe before his L.A. Confidential breakout, and Leonardo DiCaprio before Romeo + Juliet earned his poster a spot in every teenage girl’s locker. This, honestly, might be Raimi’s most purely re-watchable movie.

2 – Evil Dead II (1987) – While The Evil Dead is a cult classic, Evil Dead II is a true Horror classic. Funnier than Evil Dead, and scarier than Army Of Darkness, it hit the balance perfectly. The first movie created a template, and Evil Dead II perfected that template. Filmmakers have been chasing the dragon to recapture this lighting in the thirty-five years since its release, but they rarely manager to approach this level.

1 – Spider-Man 2 (2004) – A nearly-perfect superhero movie. We’ve had many since this, and some have reached greater heights. But, with several good-to-great comic book movies dropping every single year, Spider-Man 2 still holds a spot near the top of just about any list. So, as a guy who never misses a comic adaptation, I guess it comes as no surprise that it tops my list of favorite Sam Raimi movies.

Read The First Three Chapters In The Final Book Of The Venator Series: The Sacrifice

30 Years Ago

Hellfire was notoriously hard to control.

It was a living entity that was only ever meant to obey a single master. But as that master – the King of Hell – used hellfire to create other living beings, his level of control over the substance loosened. Hands other than his own were now able to take the reins.

That was when the mages gained access to it. But only the most skilled could ever hope to wield it without incinerating themselves. With such a risk attached, it was no wonder that only witches and warlocks who worshipped at the altar of Satan ever dared try.

Of course, there were always exceptions. And the exception in this case was a remarkably talented Venator named Allison Luminisa-Halliday.

Allison had been trained by her family – especially noteworthy for its vast, and storied Venator lineage – to master skills that were otherwise utilized by only the most powerful of mages.

The Luminisa bloodline reached back a great many generations and, as far back as anyone could trace, they had always bred Venatores. This was the reason why she had been imparted with wisdom that would be considered terrifyingly dangerous in lesser hands.

Hers may have been the most capable of hands, but even she was never comfortable with spells that involved hellfire, or any other demonic attributes. She only broke those out when there were no other options.

For the case at-hand, their source was a high-level Demonologist who’d reported the sort of harbingers associated with the pending birth of one of Lucifer’s scions. The lead came late, and the reports of a cult in the area followed shortly thereafter. Being short on-time, Allison decided that it was worth the risk involved.

In the spell she’d cast, the ball of hellfire was no bigger than you’d see at the head of a struck match. The light floated out three feet ahead of Allison. It guided her, and her companions, to an old mansion sheltered on all sides by dense woodlands.

Each window had a single candle burning in it, with only darkness surrounding it. But it was the flame hovering directly before her that raised Allison’s concerns.

The small fireball began glowing hotter, and brighter. It was becoming visibly excited as they walked closer to the mansion. It soon began to grow, first to the size of a marble, and then to the size of a tennis ball.

“Extinctus,” said Allison, causing the ball of hellfire to immediately extinguish.

“At least we know this is the right house,” Malcolm Woods said from Allison’s left side.

“Good thing too,” Jack Halliday added from the right side. “It sure would be embarrassing to kick down the door on a bunch of bored rich folks having a Key Party, instead of a Satanic cult birthing the Antichrist.”

“It’d be real freakin’ funny, though,” Malcolm replied, eliciting a laugh from Jack.

“Boys, boys,” Allison said, her eyes never leaving the mansion. “How about we save the laughs for after we deal with whatever we find in there.”

“What are we expecting to find, again?” Malcolm asked.

“Intel says there might be as many as twenty Satanists in there,” Jack answered.

“And one pregnant woman who’s probably hoping this is all a nightmare that she’ll wake up from at any second,” Allison added.

They each pulled out a pistol, unclicked the safety, and chambered a round as they crept closer to the mansion. Once they got close enough, they heard a woman screaming. They then heard a large group of voices chanting.

“Ave Satanus  sublimis patre nostro,” they sang, followed by “Salvator noster veniet!”

The woman’s cries, and the choir’s song, repeated themselves over, and over again.

“I’m sure I’d be super creeped-out right now, if I bothered learning Latin,” Malcolm said, taking his position next to the door leading inside from the backyard.

Hail Satan, our majestic father, our savior is come,” Allison casually translated, moving in behind Jack.

“Yup,” Malcolm said, “super creeped-out.”

Jack picked the lock, slowly pushed the door open, and led the others inside. They stayed low, and close to the walls, as they had on numerous other such raids. The only lights in the long corridor were candles hanging six feet up on the walls.

The screams and chants grew louder as they moved closer to the main dining hall. There was more candlelight coming from within that room, glowing and swaying with the breeze.

By the time Jack got a head count of twenty-one people dressed in red robes, he heard the cries of a newborn. Four cultists held the mother down by her arms and legs, as a fifth wrapped the baby in a red blanket, and held it high for the others to see.

“Hail, our dark savior!” the man holding the child shouted.

“Hail! Hail!” the rest of the congregation shouted in-kind.

“Now, the flesh of the mother of damnation shall be devoured,” the man said. “It will imbue each of us with the divine essence of Lucifer himself!”

Two cultists with meat cleavers rose up from behind the pair holding down the woman’s arms. They lifted the blades, as the new mother stared ahead blankly with exhaustion, too weak to even plead for her life.

Two shots rang out from the doorway, and blood sprayed out from the heads of the robed figures wielding the cleavers as they fell dead.

Allison, her gun still smoking, emerged from the doorway, and fired four more shots into the heads of the cultists holding down the mother. Jack ran out from behind her, and unloaded rounds into the next nearest figures to the captive woman.

“You got her?” Jack asked Allison.

“I got her,” Allison replied, swinging out from behind her husband.

Several people tried to impede her, but Allison easily dispatched them with swift blows to their heads or knees. The ones that reached for her from the ground caught bullets fired at close range. She leapt onto the table, and knelt down close the mother’s ear.

“You’re going to be okay,” she told the woman in a comforting tone, even as she gunned down anyone who approached their position.

But most of the cultists rushed away towards the exit at the other end of the room. They were met by Malcolm, firing rounds, and swinging a pearl-handled hatchet that he’d made for himself recently.  Those who didn’t catch a bullet had their throats slashed by the hatchet blade.

The man holding the baby called for three more people to lead him out through the doorway that Jack was guarding. The three bodyguards rammed themselves into Jack with no concern for their own welfare, driving him into the floor.

They were zealous, but untrained. Jack managed to slip out from underneath them, while holding one  in a headlock. He kicked out the knee of the first cultist who rose from the ground, and shot her through the back of the head before she even hit the ground a second time.

The second cultist managed to get to his feet, and reached for Jack’s neck. But Jack swung the man in his grasp around, sweeping the legs out from the other man who was reaching for him. He fired one round into the falling man’s head, and the other into the top of the headlocked man’s head.

He spotted the red-robed figure with the baby running out the front door, and gave chase. The man was halfway across the yard when Jack took aim, and shouted: “Stop!”

The man did as he was commanded, and slowly turned back toward Jack, who likewise stopped running. He was holding the baby in both arms, but one of his hands was now up around the child’s neck.

“I’ll snap its neck,” the man said, as Jack walked closer to him with his weapon still leveled.

“I don’t think you will,” Jack replied calmly. “How long have you been searching for this? For a bonafide child of Satan born into this world? Half your life? Your entire life?”

“The child has a destiny,” the man said. “This world will kneel before its new Messiah! The armies of Hell will be at the Antichrist’s beck and call!”

“Sure,” Jack said, still moving closer. “Which means that child’s life will not end tonight.”

Jack lowered his gun, and moved within arm’s reach of the man.

“You need to understand something,” Jack began. “You are not leaving this place tonight with that baby. I simply will not allow that to happen. You say it has a destiny, then I’m sure that will come to pass no matter what happens here. And, what’s going to  happen here is very simple: You’re going to hand me that child. Right. Now.”

“Then what will become of me?” the man asked.

“You’re going to jail for kidnapping this child’s mother,” Jack stated. “Consider yourself lucky.”

The man contemplated Jack’s words, and then his eyes took on a hardened gleam. His grip around the child’s neck tightened again, and this time Jack didn’t hesitate to put a bullet in the man’s head.

The man’s hands went limp, and Jack wrapped his free arm around the baby as the dead man fell backward.

The baby was still crying, but became silent as Jack rocked it lightly, cradled in his arm.

“Sorry about all the noise, kiddo,” Jack said to the baby, who looked up at him with curiosity. “Helluva way to come into the world. So to speak.”

Allison emerged from the house, with Malcolm behind her helping the mother to stand.

“Jack!” she called out, drawing Jack’s attention away from the child.

“What’s it look like in there?” Jack asked, as the trio approached him.

“About as expected,” Malcolm said.

“My baby,” the woman moaned. “Please. Please, let me hold my baby.”

Jack handed her the child, and the mother fell to her knees on the grass. She clutched her baby to her chest, and pressed her cheek against the top of its head.

“Oh, my baby. My little one,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry this happened. I love you so, so much.”

Malcolm and Allison moved in on either side of Jack. They spoke softly enough so that the woman wouldn’t hear them.

“We’re pretty sure that baby is the real deal, right?” Malcolm asked.

“All the signs were there,” Allison said. “We’ve got our source’s reports. And I don’t think the hellfire compass spell would have worked if that wasn’t the case.”

“You ever run into this before?” Malcolm inquired.

“Every other time we’ve done this, it was just a bunch of delusional nuts,” Jack replied.

“Then what do we do about…” Malcolm stopped talking, and nodded toward the mother and child.

“There’s not exactly a hard and fast rule about newborn devil-babies,” Jack said.

“Then we give them a chance,” Allison stated with conviction. “God knows they deserve it after all this.”

“I’m good with that,” Malcolm said.

He looked at the woman starting to shiver under the blanket he’d draped over her. Malcolm took off his coat, and placed it over the mother’s shoulders.

Allison took Jack by the arm, and led him a little further away from the others as Malcolm knelt beside the mother and child.

“It’s the right thing to do,” Allison said.

“I know,” Jack agreed. “I just hope we don’t end up…” he stopped himself, and shook his head. “The right thing is the right thing.”

“That woman was kidnapped, and terrorized by a living nightmare these past few days, because of that baby,” Allison said. “And still, all she wants to do is love it.”

“I guess that’s what being a parent means,” Jack said. “Loving that child with all your heart, all your soul, all your everything.”

Allison smiled tenderly at her husband, and said: “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”

“Ah, it’s just some cheesy…” he stopped when he noticed that his wife’s smile seemed brighter than ever before. “Wait a second. Is there something I ought to know?”

ONE

Everything happened much faster than they’d anticipated. The beast was on the car before they even turned off the engine. The screech of scraping claws on metal set their already-frayed nerves alight. They both froze in panic.

It wasn’t until the hairy fist smashed through the driver’s side window that they finally got out of the car, and ran. They didn’t look behind them, but the rapid crunching of loose gravel told them that the beast was not far behind.

They knew they had to find shelter quickly, but there weren’t many places to hide in the park. Their hearts pounded in their chests, and their lungs burned with oxygen, as they came upon the high brick archway of the public pool.

It was after midnight, so the pool had long-since closed for the day. They managed to squeeze through the wrought iron gates that were chained together.

No sooner did they get inside than they heard the chains rattling heavily against the gate.

This time, Patrick chanced a look over his shoulder to see the wolf-man dropping nimbly from the top of the gates to the ground below. Patrick grabbed Alexis by the shoulder, and pulled her toward him, just before he rammed his shoulder into the locked door of the ladies’ locker room.

Patrick braced the door with his back, only to have it slammed into him over, and over again. It was made of heavy wood, so he wasn’t worried about the beast breaking through it. But, having broken the lock himself, he also knew that he was the only thing holding the door closed.

“The bench!” he called to Alexis. “Is it bolted down?”

“No,” she replied, “Will it hold?”

“We’ve got to try,” Patrick said.

Alexis dumped the bench onto its side, and pushed it to the door. Patrick hopped over it so they could both slam it into place against the door. They both sat on the ground with their backs against the bench, and pushed until the muscles in their legs ached.

The door banged against the bench ceaselessly for another full minute before there was a sudden silence. Patrick looked at Alexis, and they both exhaled with cautious relief.

When they inhaled again, the lingering smell of chlorine calmed them with memories of more peaceful days. Of summers spent as children, running in the sun, and diving into the pool when the sign very clearly advised against doing so. It was these thoughts that finally gave Patrick the strength to speak again.

“You got the box out of the car, right?” Patrick asked.

Alexis took a small lockbox out of her handbag, entered the four-digit combination into the latch, and opened it the reveal a revolver with six silver bullets resting alongside it.

“Thank god,” Patrick said, as he took the gun and loaded the rounds.

“I think we made a mistake,” Alexis said.

“Starting to look that way, huh?” he said, with a nervous laugh. “But we’re ready now.”

He held up the pistol, which glinted from the moonlight coming in from the two windows above the door. The barrel had been polished to a mirror-like sheen and, when moved to a certain angle, showed a direct reflection of the full moon.

His insides coiled tightly when he thought about the windows again.

“Oh, shit,” he exclaimed, just as one of the windows exploded inward.

Glass showered down on them, causing them both to cover their faces with their arms. Patrick fired blindly, when he heard a heavy thud directly next to him. But his grip on the gun was loosened by the sudden shielding of his face and, with the recoil, the gun jumped out of his hand, skidding across the cement floor.

He instinctively reached for it, but a clawed hand swiped at his arm. Patrick got lucky again, and yanked his hand back just as the claws sent sparks up from the cement floor.

He fell back into Alexis, who tried to catch him. But his velocity knocked them both onto the ground.

Alexis looked up into her boyfriend’s terrified eyes and said: “I’m so sorry.”

Patrick covered as much of her body with his own that he was able to. He buried his face into Alexis’ neck, and hoped the beast would be satisfied with only taking him. He heard an abbreviated howl, and knew that this was how his life was going to end.

It must have been quick, since he did not feel any pain at all.

He wondered if he’d see a light, and hear the voices of his departed loved ones welcoming him to the afterlife.

He wondered if he’d be seeing Alexis again shortly, having failed her in the realm of the living.

“Patrick,” Alexis’ voice said, and he knew that the beast must have gotten her too. “Baby, look at me.”

He opened his eyes, expecting to see pearly gates. Instead he saw only bricks, and metal lockers.

Patrick turned his eyes down, and saw Alexis still lying beneath him. There was shattered glass all around them, and the coating of chlorine in his nostrils was now making him want to sneeze. If this was Heaven, it was a more-than-a-little disappointing.

 “I think you might need to tell your man that he’s not dead,” a voice calmly spoke from behind him.

He rolled over onto his back, and saw the silhouettes of two women. One wore a hooded cloak, and stood straight as an arrow in the doorway. The other leaned against the side of the doorway with her arms crossed.

He then allowed his eyes to drift to the prone figure of a man lying dead on the floor, not two feet from him. There was some sort of spear sticking out from his chest.

Patrick had never seen a dead body outside of a funeral parlor before, and he’d certainly never seen one impaled. He swung his face back at Alexis, who let out a short scream before rolling out from under him. She’d managed to just barely escape the deluge of vomit.

“Oh yeah,” the leaning woman said, as the other woman walked toward the dead body, “that’s the kinda guy you want to go hunting werewolves with.”

The other woman bent over the human body that was, prior to Patrick’s out-of-body experience, a ferocious wolf-man.

She placed one foot against the corpse, and pulled her staff out from it with both her hands. As the blade slid out, more blood spurted from the gaping hole in his chest cavity. Similarly, another spurt of vomit escaped from Patrick’s mouth.

“Seriously, though,” the leaning woman said, as the other one walked past her out the door. “If this is your idea of a fun date night, you should both seek therapy immediately.”

The leaning woman followed the other woman out of view.

Alexis got to her knees, and knelt beside Patrick. “Are you okay, baby” she asked.

“Holy crap,” Patrick replied, scrambling to his feet. “I think that was actually them!”

“Who?” asked Alexis.

Them!” repeated Patrick, as he rushed out the door after them.

The pair of Venatores were just through the main gate when Patrick shouted at them:

“The She-Wolf and the Cloaked Woman!”

“Goddammit,” Natalie Brubaker muttered, as she stopped, and sighed.

This situation had presented itself many times since Leia Ellis’ video exposed the world at-large to the truth that lurks in the shadows five years prior. By this point, the conversation exhausted Natalie before she even said the first word of her usual spiel.

Gitanna Luminisa stopped walking a few feet ahead of her. She pulled her hood back from her head, revealing a buzzed scalp that left little more than stubble. She turned back just as Natalie slowly walked back toward Patrick and Alexis.

Natalie pointed to the gun that Patrick now held in his hand.

“Is that all you brought?” she asked.

“We thought it’d be enough,” Patrick replied with some embarrassment.

“You thought one pistol, with six silver bullets would be enough to hunt a werewolf with?” Natalie said, incredulously. “I’m not even gonna bother asking if you’ve done this before. It’s very clear that you have not.”

“We just wanted to help,” Alexis said, joining Patrick.

“Getting turned into wolf chow isn’t gonna help anyone but the wolf,” Natalie replied. “Do either of you have any sort of training at all? Taekwondo? Ju-jitsu? Ballet?”

Patrick and Alexis just looked at each other, and slowly shook their heads.

“We’ve gone over everything on Leia Ellis’ website at least ten times,” Alexis offered. “And then, we heard stories about a wild creature attacking people here. Everything led us to believe it was a werewolf. So, we thought we could put our knowledge into practice, and maybe save some lives.”

Natalie had heard this before as well. She’d supplied Ellis with a good portion of the information on her website, so she knew it was legit. But she also knew that information alone wouldn’t be enough to turn an ordinary person into a Venator.

Natalie looked up at Gitanna, who simply pulled her hood back over her buzzed head, and walked to the car. She sat in the passenger seat, and waited patiently for her partner to wrap things up.

“On a scale of Irrationally Confident to Hell No, Never how likely would you two say you are to try this nonsense again?” she asked.

“We…” Alexis began to answer, before looking at Patrick for moral support.

“We still want to help,” he finished, and Alexis nodded along.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Natalie said, and walked a few steps closer to them. “First thing: Get some real combat training. Understand this: If you can’t beat a human in a fight, you sure as hell can’t beat a monster.

“Second thing: Never, ever, ever go on a hunt without at least two backup weapons. But you probably don’t need me to tell you that after having a slightly-worse-than-usual experience in the public pool locker room. Third thing: Give me your phone.”

Patrick reached into his pocket, and handed over his cell phone. Natalie punched a number into his contacts list, and then offered him the phone back.

“Next time you get a lead; a real lead, you call or text me at that number,” she stated. “But, I swear to god, if you text me with some bullshit questions, or photos of your goddamn brunch, then you will never hear from me again. You understand these terms?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Patrick and Alexis said, almost in unison.

“How old are you guys, anyway?” Natalie asked.

“Nineteen,” Alexis answered for them both.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” Natalie followed.

“We’re between semesters,” Patrick added.

“And this is how you decided to spend your summer vacation?” Natalie asked, mockingly.

“We both also work at the mall,” Alexis said, with some embarrassment.

Natalie sighed loudly, before turning, and walking back toward her car.

“Alright, well, try not to die,” she said over her shoulder. “And get far away from here before the cops find that dead guy. Believe me, that’s a conversation you don’t want to have.

“Thank you,” Patrick called after her. “For saving our lives, I mean.”

“It’s what we do,” she said to herself, while absently waving over her shoulder.

“Why do you insist on giving people like that your phone number?” Gitanna asked.

“You know why,” Natalie said, starting the engine. “There aren’t many of us left and, at the very least, we need to rebuild our network of contacts.”

“They are fools,” Gitanna said, matter-of-factly.

“Yup,” Natalie agreed. “Do you expect smart people to venture out into the night, looking to pick a fight with a ghoul or goblin?”

“You could get yourself killed trying to help these people,” Gitanna added, with some concern creeping into her voice.

“You know that I’m notoriously hard to kill, Tanna,” Natalie said, with a slight smile.

“How long until we arrive,” Gitanna asked, considering the previous subject closed.

“We should be there by morning,” Natalie replied, as she pulled onto the highway.

“Do you need me to drive?” Gitanna asked.

“You know that it’s also notoriously hard for me to fall asleep at the wheel,” Natalie said, and they both now smiled.

“I hope we can reach them before things take a turn for the worse,” said Gitanna.

“Me too,” Natalie agreed. “But I’d also prefer to perform an exorcism at dawn rather than in the middle of the night. Those things still freak me out.”

“You just need more practice,” Gitanna said.

“I’ve been getting way too much practice recently,” said Natalie.

“I know,” said Gitanna, leaving the weight of the implication hanging heavily in the air.

TWO

Hollis Caulfield had noticed the people following him for the first time three days ago. Of course, that didn’t mean they hadn’t been following him before then. It just meant he hadn’t noticed them.

It had been quite by chance that Hollis saw the woman during a late-night trip to the bodega down the street from his apartment. The shop was fairly small, as many were in the city, with lights in half the aisles flickering on and off. It was during one such flickering that he’d realized he was standing on someone else’s shadow.

She was at the end of the aisle taking a not-so-subtle look at him. The woman was quite attractive, and looked to be about the same age as Hollis. Sure, he had several apps on his phone where he could reach out for random hook-ups when the desire arose, but it was still nice to do some good old fashioned in-person flirting.

He approached the woman, but she turned and walked away without a word. Hollis did occasionally enjoy a little cat-and-mouse game, so he followed her. But, by the time he reached the spot where he’d seen her standing, she had vanished. This seemed a little weird but, then again, this was Los Angeles.

He’d forgotten all about it by the time he reached his apartment building. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He looked over his shoulder, but didn’t see anyone nearby. He thought he could make out a shadow moving in the alleyway next to his building, but figured that was probably just some hobo.

After entering his apartment, and locking his door, he walked over to the windows to close the blinds. It was then that he saw the man standing across the street in the dim halo of a street lamp. This was not unusual, in-and-of itself, but the man seemed to be staring directly up at Hollis through his window.

Hollis wanted to believe this was just some weirdo who liked staring into strangers’ windows. But then the man began walking across the street, never taking his eyes off Hollis.

With the hair on his neck now standing on-end, Hollis yanked his curtains closed, and made sure that the deadbolt was fastened on his door. He eventually managed to get to sleep two hours later, but the recurring nightmare he’d been having over the course of the past week ensured that it was not a restful slumber.

Aside from the periodic feeling that he was being watched by unseen persons, Hollis went about his typical work week. He could have sworn he’d seen the bodega woman and the street lamp man at different points during his travels, but faces in crowds always blurred together. Still, he couldn’t shake his case of the heebie-jeebies.

There could be no mistaking the sight of his stalkers the following night, though. They both stood at the entrance to the alleyway, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, watching him as he got out of his cab. Hollis fumbled through his pockets for his keys, as he didn’t want to risk taking his eyes off the creepy couple.

But neither made a move toward, or away from him. They simply stood and stared, unblinking, as Hollis finally turned the lock, pushed his way into the lobby, and quickly slammed the door shut behind him.

The few seconds he had to take his eyes off the stalkers made his heart thump against his ribcage. But, when he snapped his head back around, the watchers remained where they had been. The only difference was that their heads were now turned so they could still watch Hollis stumble backward through the lobby, to the stairs.

He moved sideways up the three flights of stairs to his floor, as he didn’t want to risk having someone sneak up behind him. Once he got to his apartment, he didn’t even bother looking out the windows before closing the curtains. He knew that he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep if he saw those faces staring up at him. And he knew, sight unseen, that they were still out there. And that they were still watching him.

Hollis had a big presentation in the morning, so he popped a few pills, and succumbed to sleep. The nightmare came again. The dark figures lurking. The color of their irises were twisting barbs of yellow and red.

He felt the elation of the knife in his hand. And he felt the pain as the knife was plunged into his stomach. He was both the killer, and the victim in these dreams. He’d never had any desire to be a killer, or hurt people at all. And he certainly had no interest in being a victim either. Yet every night for the past week, these visions haunted him.

Most nights, the sacrifice happened in a deserted building, or a clearing in some nameless forest. But tonight, it seemed to be happening in his own apartment. In his own bed. He felt like his eyes were open, but his eyelids felt heavy as they often do when one is trying to wake from a dream, but can’t quite make it back to consciousness.

There were two pairs of eyes – a man’s and a woman’s – that each had that unnatural yellow, and red coloration. Hollis thought the faces looked oddly familiar, before realizing that they belonged to the man and woman who had been following him. He was becoming unsure whether this was a nightmare, or reality.

That deadbolt would have kept anyone out, but these two were inhumanly strong. They held down his arms, and it felt as if they’d rested hundred-pound weights on both of his hands.

He started to scream for help, but the woman covered his mouth his one hand. Hollis couldn’t believe that, even with just one hand holding down his arm, he could not get it an inch off the bed.

This must be a dream he thought.

No way this slight woman could be this strong.

For some reason that video from five years ago popped into his head. The one with the werewolves, and the zombies, and the man with the flaming eyes.

He remembered thinking it was pretty awesome when he and his roommate got stoned and watched it in their dorm room. A cool little piece of independent filmmaking that went viral.

Some of the online weirdos still talked about that video, as if they believed it was real. He always thought they were gullible dopes. But these demonic eyes staring through him, and this incredible strength holding him down, making him feel powerless had him doubting his convictions.

There was a third figure standing in the far corner of his bedroom. It moved towards him holding something up near its face. Hollis had not yet been able to identify the item when it was jammed into his stomach. The initial pain was so excruciating that Hollis barely felt it when the knife was drawn upward, opening up his belly.

The figure then inserted its hand into the hole, and pushed it upward towards Hollis’ chest cavity. It was a wholly alien feeling, almost like a small animal burrowing through his torso. There was a tugging feeling in his chest, and then the sense of something popping loose.

Hollis was in-shock as he watched the figure’s hand emerge from inside of him holding onto something large, pink, and wet. That something also moved. Pumping, and squirting blood from disconnected tubes.

The last thing Hollis Caulfield saw before departing this mortal realm, was the dark figure taking a bite out of his still-beating heart.

Read the rest of The Sacrifice now on Amazon Kindle, and catch up on the entire Venator Series!

Malignant Is The Long Island Iced Tea Of Horror Films

I spent some time as a bartender about 20 years ago. It was something I trained for, and I even got a certification in Mixology. During the two-week course I learned many different formulas for many different cocktails, some more exacting than the others. One of the least exacting, if not THE least, was the Long Island Iced Tea.

The general rule was to pour a big glass of sweetened iced tea, and then just dump a bunch of whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, tequila, or whatever else you happened to have lying around into it. As long as the tea was sweet enough to dominate the flavor palate, it really didn’t matter what sort of brain-melting, toxic brew you added to the glass.

Every time I prepared this drink for a customer, or ordered it for myself, the goal was never anything more or less than to get super f’n drunk. By and large, the Long Island Iced Tea accomplished this goal even if the flavor sensors had no real idea what to make of the elixir that had just been inflicted upon them. The sensation I felt while watching Malignant on HBO Max was very similar.

I’m going to get into big time spoilers below, so consider this your warning.

Director James Wan is most well known for his part in creating the “Conjuring Universe” and played no small part in the wave of small-budget-but-legitimately-good horror films beginning when he directed the first Saw movie. Yes, he also direct a Fast And Furious film and Aquaman, but his calling card remains these smaller films. When one hears that Wan was making a move called Malignant, one can’t help but group them in with his other films The Conjuring and – more specifically – Insidious. But, much like the first 30 minutes of this film, that is merely a smokescreen. Malignant is the Long Island Iced Tea of horror films, because it is a mash-up of at least three different types of horror movies.

The first act of the film plays like a ghost story, which is well-tread ground for Wan and his creative team. There is a prologue at a spooky asylum not dissimilar to a haunted castle. There is our main character, Madison, whose abusive husband is murdered by a shadowy figure that moves in seemingly impossible ways. The lights in her house begin flickering once she returns from the hospital after her own injuries are healed. And she begins seeing specters out of the corner of her eye. All traditional ghost movie tropes.

But the second act changes things. As more people are murdered, and these people have a common link to the asylum in the prologue, we can clearly see a physical entity is brutally killing them. Madison begins receiving threatening phone calls from a mysterious person who calls himself “Gabriel” at which time you, as a viewer, may begin to understand that this was not a ghost story. My interpretation at the time was that Gabriel was a psychic projection that Madison was unwillingly harboring. And, so I begin watching the movie more as a Jekyll & Hyde story than a ghost story. At this point, my interest was piqued, as there had been far fewer Jekyll & Hyde adaptations than ghost movies in the past decade or two. But that also only lasts for another 30 or 40 minutes before Malignant takes on its Final Form.

Act Three begins with Madison being arrested for the murders when a mysterious woman falls through her ceiling while she’s being interviewed by police detectives. This surprises her as much as any them or her sister, Sydney, who has been doing her best to help Madison cope with all the craziness. Madison is taken into custody, and locked inside a holding cell with fifteen or twenty other people. While a few of them being to smack her around, Sydney makes her way to the creepy asylum to grab Madison’s old medical files. Turns out, Madison was born “Emily” and committed to the asylum by her teenaged mother – the mysterious woman who Gabriel/Emily took captive and fell through the ceiling. And this is where the viewer hits the bottom of his first Long Island Iced Tea, and orders up another.

Turns out that Gabriel is real, he was a tumor/conjoined twin attached to Madison/Emily’s back who shared a brain with her and made her do bad things. Gabriel/Emily also has some sort of psychic power that explains how he can speak through phones and radios, and blow up the lightbulbs in the house. But wait, there’s more!

As revealed from old VHS tapes that Sydney finds, the doctors from the prologue – who Gabriel was murdering – performed a surgery where they removed Gabriel’s underdeveloped arms, legs, torso, and most of his head from Emily’s body. This is shown in an extremely gruesome montage. The problem was that, due to them sharing a brain, there was just a little bit of Gabriel’s face remaining on the back of Emily’s head. So, naturally, the doctors pushed that little bit into Emily’s skull, and somehow that left Gabriel in a dormant state until Emily/Madison’s husband cracked a wall with her head at the beginning of the film.

“That’s pretty nuts,” you might be thinking. And you’d be right, but you’d be wrong to assume that it couldn’t possibly get even more nuts when they finally show us the full transformation – werewolf movie style! While taking a beating in the holding cell, Gabriel (or what little is physically left of him) physically emerges out of the back of Emily/Madison’s skull. Gabriel, now in-control of the body, then snaps all of his (their?) limbs backwards to fall in-line with his face (more or less). So, now everything he does is contorted and in-reverse, which makes for quite the discombobulated viewing experience. After that brief foray into Cronenbergian body horror, Malignant becomes a Terminator or Predator movie in the home stretch.

Gabriel somehow has super-strong-backward-murder-ninja skills. How, or why, is not discussed or frankly relevant once you’ve gone this far into this batsh*t insane movie. Much like after chugging that Long Island Iced Tea, you’re now fully along for the ride, and there’s not much you can do about it. Gabriel slaughters the twenty people in the holding cell, breaks out, and then murders the twenty cops left in the police station with fairly minimal effort. Now, when I say “slaughter” and “murder” I want to be clear that these killings are both balletic and bloody. Much of the stunt work was done by a contortionist, and that honestly makes me appreciate the film more than if it had all be CGI. But Gabriel is a whirling dervish of a murder machine, and the fight scenes in the holding cell and police station are amongst the most original and visceral that have come along in quite some time.

Gabriel is eventually stopped when he tries to kill Sydney and Emily/Madison’s mother and Emily/Madison re-takes control of her body. She then locks Gabriel away in her mind, presumably until he’s needed for the eventual sequel where he’ll probably be used as more of an anti-hero. Which, by the way, is a movie I would definitely sign up for. Although, in another never-explained revelation, Gabriel was apparently feeding on the life energy of Madison’s unborn children, causing her to have several miscarriages, so maybe “anti-hero” is not really in his future.

Like the morning after a Long Island Iced Tea bender, you may not know what the hell happened in Malignant, but you’ll somehow know that you had a fun time. The benefit that the film has over the bender, though, is that it will surely return you home, safe and sound. You’ll also probably have less of a hangover.

Unlucky 7: The Most Notable Times WWE Failed Bray Wyatt

Bray Wyatt (real name Windham Rotunda) was recently released from his WWE contract. This sort of thing happens all the time in the pro wrestling business, but not typically to a performer who holds the spot on the roster that Rotunda holds. Whether cheering or booing, the fan at-large never stopped responding to Rotunda. And, by all accounts, he sells a lot of merchandise, and makes WWE a lot of money.

This would lead one to believe that his release was due to less typical circumstances. One such circumstance is that Rotunda has always brought creative ideas to the table that are both complex, yet still clearly-executed. Vince McMahon has never been one to push a complex idea, and the only clear ones he cares about are his own. For the time-being, I’m going to theorize that Rotunda and WWE parted due to the ever-popular reason of creative differences.

But, the bigger question, is how did we get here? Rotunda has been over with the fans since his main roster debut back in 2013. For the most part, the audiences engagement with him never really faltered. Along with his creative storytelling, he is a very good in-ring performer with a strong, signature move set, and even stronger in-ring psychology. With that package, Rotunda should have have a decades-long run at, or near, the top of the card. The problem is that, no matter how great a package you present, McMahon needs to push that package the right way.

Frankly, Rotunda’s success seemed to come more in-spite of Vince McMahon than anything else. If you take a look back at the points in Rotunda’s WWE career when he was on the cusp of becoming a true main event superstar, you can can see a very clear pattern of Vince McMahon’s booking undercutting Rotunda’s momentum. The list I’m presenting below will certainly not tell the whole story, but I believe that it offers the highlights (lowlights?) of the problem. The list has been sorted in chronological order.

Bray Wyatt vs John Cena – WrestleMania 30 – April 2014 – The Wyatt Family, a cult-ish, backwoods crew who gained notoriety in the burgeoning NXT made their main roster debut in 2013 after that year’s WrestleMania. The fans were immediately interested in the Wyatt Family, and that was almost entirely due to Wyatt’s ability to spin a great promo, and perform like a badass in the ring. This was Bray Wyatt’s WrestleMania debut match. And it was against the man who had been at the top of the company for nearly a decade, but had one foot out the door and pointed toward Hollywood. A win here would have given Wyatt a massive rub, and set a new star rocketing toward a main event spot. Instead, Cena was booked to overcome Wyatt, and his Wyatt Family, as Cena had been booked to do to virtually every other previous challenge. The result here presented Wyatt himself as just another one of those challenges, thus sullying his credibility right out of the gate.

Bray Wyatt vs The Undertaker – WrestleMania 31 – March 2015 – Prior to what is popularly referred to as “WrestleMania Season” Wyatt has started calling himself “The New Face Of Fear” as a direct shot at the old face of fear. It seemed like a good angle, since that face was only showing itself on WWE programming two or three times per year by this point. The Undertaker’s legendary streak ended the year before in a loss of Brock Lesnar, and he was several years into the phase of his career where he really only had matches at WrestleMania to defend said streak. With the streak over, WWE was presented with a great opportunity to pass the baton, and give Wyatt the sort of win that could define his young career. With the streak over, the only real thing Undertaker had left to offer was his own career. A match between Taker and Wyatt at WrestleMania, where Wyatt could both retire the legend, and officially claim his New Face Of Fear mantle would have set Wyatt off on the path to great things. Instead, Taker wins, even though he was an aging part-timer who was no longer even defending a historic win streak.

The Wyatt Family Getting Clowned By The Rock & John Cena – WrestleMania 32 – April 2016 – You may notice a pattern forming here, but I promise there will be a few non-WrestleMania examples coming up soon. Though, the fact that there are so many examples of his at Mania makes the problem very clear. This was not even a match, other than The Rock beating Erik Rowan in an impromptu match that lasted all of seven seconds. The Rock was retired and, frankly, could have laid the smackdown on any undercard talent here while getting the same pop fro the crowd. Instead, they brought out the semi-retired John Cena, and the pair bounced Bray Wyatt, and his cohorts, around the ring for a few minutes. Hardly the best use of Bray Wyatt, and certainly not helpful to his credibility after losing matches in the two previous Manias.

Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Match – WrestleMania 33 – April 2017 – The match itself ended up being overbooked, and undercooked at the same time with silly moments provided by the WWE AV Club. Wyatt lost the match, and the title, after a single RKO in an era where no one stays down after one finishing move in big title matches. The bigger travesty in this case, was that they were so close to finally doing right by Wyatt.
Just two months prior, Wyatt outlasted John Cena, AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, The Miz, and Baron Corbin in an Elimination Chamber match that concluded with Wyatt, himself, pinning both Styles and Cena. Wyatt was still nominally a heel, but the crowd showered him with a “You Deserve It!” chant that clearly had its origins in the many previous mishandlings of Wyatt’s booking.
On top of this, Wyatt had been involved in a months-long program where Randy Orton joined the Wyatt Family, despite Luke Harper’s (portrayed by the late Jon Huber) suspicions about Orton’s true motives. Wyatt sided with Harper over Orton, only to be betrayed by Orton just as Harper had expected. The stage was set for an epic Triple Threat Match between Wyatt, Orton, and Harper for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.
Instead, McMahon had Harper booked out of the angle a few weeks before Mania, and then booked a terrible gimmick match that was won by Orton, who was already a multi-time world champion, and did not need this win nearly as much as Wyatt did. A few months later, Orton dropped the title to Jinder Mahal, who went on to have an extremely forgettable title reign himself, and Wyatt had to get back to the drawing board to build himself up again.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Seth Rollins – WWE Universal Title Match – Hell In The Cell – October 2019 – See? I told you we’d have some non-Mania examples coming up. Wyatt floated around the mid-card, and tag team division for a little while, before re-inventing himself with one of the most staggered character transformations in the history of pro wrestling. Leaving the cult leader persona behind, Wyatt became a creepy children’s show host who sometimes transformed into a horror movie-style monster called The Fiend. Again, he was working heel, but the fan were super into this new presentation. Only a few months after The Fiend’s in-ring debut at SummerSlam, he was given a Universal Title shot at the Hell In The Cell event.
One couldn’t imagine a more perfect scenario for the monstrous Fiend to claim his spot at the top. October. Halloween season. Hell In The Cell match. The Fiend took all of Rollins’ best shots, and kept coming after him. Until the end, when Rolling piled a bunch of steel chairs atop The Fiend, and then beat those chairs with a sledgehammer. No pinfall, no submission, a HitC match has no rules. But the referee stopped the match. Rollins retained, The Fiend attacked him after the match, and the crowd hated it all. This ending hurt Rollins as much as it did Wyatt to the extent that Rollins – who was running at an all-time high popularity – had to turn heel shortly afterward.
A few weeks later, at one of WWE’s ill-advised cash grab Crown Jewel Saudi Arabia shows, The Fiend did take the title off Rollins. But having the title change happen at such a controversial show, rather than in the perfectly-themed Hell In The Cell was another in the long line of booking mistakes for Wyatt.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Goldberg – WWE Universal Title Match – Crown Jewel – February 2020 – Speaking of the morally-problematic Saudi Arabia shows, The Fiend dropped the Universal Title at the very next one to 50-something year-old Goldberg, who happened to show up a few weeks earlier and demand a title match.
If there’s one thing Vince McMahon loves doing, it’s feeding his current stars to relics of past eras (see the first three entries on this list). Goldberg speared and jackhammered The Fiend a few times, and then pinned him to take the title in less than five minutes. The Fiend stood up afterward, and dusted himself off like it was no big thing. But he’d already lost the match, and the title, so the damage was done.
Goldberg dropped the belt to former Wyatt Family heavy Braun Strowman two months later at WrestleMania 36, while Wyatt actually had his WrestleMania highlight in a Firefly Fun House match against John Cena. This Wyatt-Cena match was a lot more fun than their previous Mania encounters as both Wyatt and Cena were committed to making something really self-referential and interesting.
Wyatt himself won his second Universal Title from Strowman at that year’s SummerSlam, but then lost it in a Triple Threat Match to Roman Reigns only one week later at the Payback event. Honestly, that could warrant its own entry on this list, but I’m trying to keep it to seven.

“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton – WrestleMania 37 – April 2021 – And, just like that, we’re back at WrestleMania, and we’re back with Randy Orton. It makes sense that this would be the final nail in the coffin of Wyatt’s WWE career, as McMahon had used Orton and Mania to kill Wyatt’s credibility at his previous career peak four-years prior. This time around, Wyatt and Orton had a much less interesting story. Orton set The Fiend on fire in the ring some months earlier, so Wyatt’s new acolyte Alexa Bliss became a thorn in Orton’s side, until The Fiend returned to lay out Orton, and make their WrestleMania match official.
With fans in the arena for the first time in over year, due to the Covid pandemic, and chanting for The Fiend, McMahon again books Wyatt to be pinned by Orton after a single RKO. Sure, The Fiend was confused by Alexa Bliss’ make-up or some such thing, but this was still terrible booking, and the crowd let them know it.
Wyatt would make one more brief appearance on the following night’s episode of RAW, before disappearing for several months until his release was announced.

So, what’s next? No on can tell for sure, but Rotunda is a highly imaginative person, and I would certainly be willing to check out whatever he does next – be it wrestling, writing, or filmmaking. My personal preference, though, would be to see him show up in AEW. The rival promotion has been putting on a better wrestling product than WWE in every way pretty much since its premiere, and it certainly seems to be a place where where more creative minds can thrive as well.

AEW has a growing list of performers that Vince McMahon couldn’t (or wouldn’t) figure out how to use properly, that they have presented like the superstars they always seemed like they could be. Cody Rhodes, Jon Moxley, Miro The Redeemer, Andrade, and Malakai Black, just to name a few. With word that former WWE super-duper-main-even-stars CM Punk and Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) are set to debut in AEW over the next few weeks, acquiring Rotunda on top of that would elevate AEW to a whole other level of relevancy amongst even the most jaded pro wrestling fans.

It’s exciting to look forward to whatever Windham Rotunda does next. But, looking back, it’s also pretty easy to see where things went wrong with WWE. Vince McMahon likely won’t learn any lessons from this, and one of the lessons Rotunda probably learned was that Vince never learns his lessons. Hopefully, whatever else Rotunda learned, will serve him well in what he decided to do next.

Taking A Nostalgic Stroll Down Fear Street

SPOILER WARNING – This blog post contains massive spoilers for Netflix’s Fear Street Trilogy (1994, 1978, 1666)

I was fifteen-years-old in 1994, and I loved horror movies. I still do, but back then I was still in the process of discovering the classics and mainstays. I believe I had already seen most of the Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, and Halloween films. While I was still a year or two away from going back further to things like Universal Horror classics, and Hammer Horror franchises. It was around this time (1996) that the first Scream movie took it upon itself to deconstruct elements from a very specific type of horror movie: The slasher flick.

It was actually Scream that made me go back and find the deeper catalogue of slasher flicks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Prom Night, The Burning, Sleepaway Camp, Terror Train, The Funhouse, Madman, and the like. Scream then begat a era of similar movies that featured teenagers in some half-winking, slashery situations such as I Know What You Did Last Summer, Disturbing Behavior, Urban Legends and, of course, numerous Scream sequels. But it was only a few years after Scream when I lost interest in slasher flicks, and that was due in large part to the fact that I was no longer a teenager myself. As such, I wasn’t really finding the lives (or deaths) of the characters especially relatable. So, I went off and expanded my horror movie palate in different directions.

But Netflix was very clever in their approach to casting out the widest possible net for their Fear Street Trilogy. Yes, the core characters are teenagers in-peril. But they are teenagers in the year 1994, and then in the year 1978, and then way back in 1666. Much like Netflix’s other retro hit Stranger Things before it, Fear Street ropes in viewers from my generation with nostalgia, while also appealing to the current crop of teenage viewers with teenage character who aren’t so very different than they are – even with 20+ years of history between them. However, unlike Stranger Things, Fear Street is very much R-Rated horror. Fortunately, for teenagers of today, no one is carding them on the way into the theater (give or take a Parental Lock Password). Personally, having been a teenager in the 90’s, while also watching slasher films of the 80’s and 70’s, Fear Street managed to double-hook me in.

But here’s where things get more interesting – The first entry, Fear Street: 1994, opens with a famous young actress being murdered in a mall by a masked killer. Which was very Scream of them. But, rather than playing the long game of “who is the killer and when will they strike next” the killer is immediately unmasked and shot by the local sheriff. So, Scream basically plays out in the first ten minutes of the movie.

Through the rest of FS: 1994, more killer are revealed. And these killers are very much supernatural in-nature. This first film lays out some details about a supposed curse over the town of Shadyside placed on it by a witch named Sarah Fier, wherein a person is possessed every decade or so, and goes on a killing spree. We are introduced some previous killers with effectively creepy character designs who were possessed in prior decades, as they rise from their graves. More specifically – they rise from a giant, gooey, black heart that resides in a cave beneath the town to kill anyone who sees a vision of Sarah Fier. In this case, the unfortunate target is Sam, who had the lousy luck to bleed in the wrong place, which triggered a connection to Sarah Fier.

The evil is seemingly defeated by the end of FS: 1994, at the very gory cost of the primary heroines’ friends’ lives. But then there’s a hook at the end: Sam becomes possessed in much the same way as the killer from the beginning of the movie, leaving her girlfriend Deena, and Deena’s brother Henry, to try and save her soul. It’s a cliffhanger much like you’d have seen in almost every Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, or any other slasher franchise. Happily, I only had to wait for a week – rather than a year or two – to see the next installment.

This was another part of the brilliance of Netflix’s release strategy. The same sort of near-instant gratification they offer by dropping entire seasons of TV shows at one time is emulated, only with movies. The story arc of Deena, the possessed Sam, and Henry actually forms a framing device around the next two movies. Yet another clever trick used by Writer/Director Leigh Janiak, and her creative team, to ensure viewers stay invested through all three movies.

Fear Street: 1978 begins in 1994, with our protagonists tracking down Ziggy, who was the lone survivor of the previous Shadyside massacre at Camp Nightwing back in 1978. This then launches us back to the year 1978, where we see how that all played out. Ziggy, the local “weird girl” formed a very sweet bond on the last day of camp with popular boy (and future sheriff) Nick Goode just before all hell broke loose, ending with Ziggy’s sister (and many other campers and counselors) being slaughtered by another counselor after he is possessed.

FS: 1978 might be my favorite of the three films, since it doesn’t really need to do the heavy expositional lifting of FS: 1994 or handle the job of wrapping everything up like FS: 1666. It’s honestly the most straightforward installment, and it has the emotional advantage of offering a tragic ending of Ziggy watching her sister being murdered, while her sister watches Ziggy being stabbed and believing that she failed to save her. But Ziggy does survive. Well, technically, she’s brought back to life by Nick Goode performing CPR.

But that brings us back to 1994, where Deena and Henry ask a grown-up Ziggy where to find Sarah Fier’s severed hand. They had found Fier’s body back in FS: 1994 but, according to the legend, they needed to bury the hand with the body to end the curse. So, they retrieve the hand, and Deena goes to bury it with the body. But, much like Sam before her, Deena gets a nosebleed from being too close to Fier’s remains. Unlike Sam, Deena’s mind is actually swept all the way back to 1666, when the curse is said to have begun.

Fear Street: 1666 actually only spends about half of its runtime in 1666, where Deena sees the town as it was when it was still just a colonial village. The kicker is that she’s seeing it all through Sarah Fier’s eyes. The time spent is 1666 moves quickly to the point where horrors are unleashed upon the village due to someone’s deal with the devil. The films uses the cast from the previous two installments to fill out the roles of the villagers. In an ironic twist, the actors who play characters that survived the previous films are killed, while the actors who play characters killed in the previous films survive. It caps of with the first possessed killer slaughtering a chapel full of children, and cutting out their eyes (as well as his own) before he is killed by Sheriff Goode’s ancestor Solomon.

This being 1666, a witch hunt is promptly launched. Sarah and her secret beloved Hannah are accused by the town asshole after he was spurned by Hannah. Hannah is captured, but Sarah makes a run for it. She hides out at Solomon Goode’s home, as he’s always been kind to her, only to discover that Solomon is the one who cast a curse on the village in order to attain power. Sarah is recaptured by the lynch mob, and hanged from a tree after she promises Solomon that she will expose his evils one day. That day, as it turns out happens in 1994.

When we get back to 1994, Deena shares her new knowledge with Ziggy and Henry, that the Goode family has continued this deal with the devil for more than 300 years. Every decade or so, the eldest son of the family allows a townsperson to become possessed, and go on a killing spree. This casts every interaction between Ziggy and Nick from FS: 1978 into a very interesting new light. If there’s one complaint that I have about the Fear Street Trilogy, it’s that the emotional payoff between the adult version of Ziggy and Nick is never really explored. At any rate, the key to ending the curse is to kill Sheriff Goode. Now, Nick’s brother is the mayor of neighboring Sunnyvale, so killing Nick doesn’t really end the bloodline. But, considering Nick is the one who cast the curse in both 1978 and 1994, I guess that offers as much explanation as we’re going to get.

In the end, we’re brought back to the mall, where the undead previous killers attack again. But our heroes manage to survive using some interesting tricks they picked up in FS: 1994. Deena chases Sheriff Goode into the tunnels beneath the mall, which are the same tunnels that were formed way back when Solomon first made the deal, and cast the curse. A chase ensues that ends with Deena stabbing Sheriff Good through the eye, thus killing him and ending the curse. The giant, gooey, black heart in the caves shrinks down to nothing. The killers in the mall disintegrate. And Sam is freed from the possession.

If we hadn’t been given a proper conclusion at the end of this trilogy, I’m sure my opinion would have soured on it. Happily, that was not the case. I’ve never read any Fear Street books, or frankly any R.L. Stine at all. By the time those came along, I was already reading the likes of Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, and Dean Koontz. I’m sure this means that I missed some Easter Eggs throughout. But it also means that I can recommend the Netflix Fear Street Trilogy to anyone, even if they are also unfamiliar with the source material.

All the installments are highly entertaining, with barely an ounce of fat on them. So check them out now or, perhaps even better, add them to your list for Halloween season viewing. It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a new teen slasher flick, and I’m very happy to have now found three of them. Fifteen-year-old me would absolutely approve.

Re-Heating Hannibal

When Hannibal aired on NBC from 2013-2015 it was unlike anything seen before on network television. Which is to say that the gore in Hannibal, as artistically as it was presented, seemed very out-of-place on NBC. In truth, this was probably an intentional move by the network to compete with the shows on HBO, AMC, and then-upstart Netflix who were all providing more graphically adult content. But, don’t be mistaken, as gruesome as the visuals were, they were beautifully-rendered in their own way. This artistry was just as rare on network TV as any grisly crime scene.

Heavily serialized weekly shows were also a bit of a rarity on the networks at the time This is something that Netflix ended up using to its advantage by dropping entire seasons at a time and allowing viewers to binge at their own rate, rather than waiting several months to see a conclusion to any given storyline. All told, if Hannibal were released now, as artistically bloody and serialized as it was, it would be much better served on a streaming platform such as the aforementioned Netflix or Amazon Prime. As it happens, the entire three season run is currently available on both those services. I’ve been meaning to re-visit the show for some time now, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to watch Hannibal as I believe it was intended. I was not disappointed.

Fair Warning: I am going to run through the events all three seasons of Hannibal, so there will be spoilers. Proceed with caution if you are interested in watching this show for the first time with fresh eyes.

Thomas Harris’ fictional philosopher/serial killer/erstwhile cannibal Hannibal Lecter has been part of the widespread public lexicon for more than 30 years. Silence Of The Lambs was a massively-successful, Academy Award and Box Office winning film that made Lecter an icon. Though 1986’s Manhunter, which was based on Harris’ novel Red Dragon, was actually the first cinematic interpretation of the character. After Silence Of The Lambs, a sub-par sequel novel was written and movie was filmed, also titled Hannibal. After which we got a since-forgotten prequel called Hannibal Rising, and an ambitionless remake of the original adaptation of Red Dragon.

That’s a lot of source material, but here’s the good news: You don’t need to have read or seen any of those works in order to jump into Hannibal: The Series. Yes, you’ll get more out of the Easter Eggs and such if you are familiar, but the show is not beholden to any pre-existing continuity. In fact, it frequently undercuts expectations by throwing a new twist on the way events occurred in the novels and films. This both benefits and, in one particular instance, harms the show. But we’ll get to that latter issue further along.

Silence Of The Lambs is built around the relationship between Lecter and young FBI agent Clarice Starling. Their interplay is very much one between an older mentor and a somewhat reluctant protégé. But, before Agent Starling, there was Will Graham. Graham was the protagonist in the Red Dragon novel, and subsequent film adaptations. He was the man responsible for putting Lecter in that iconic plexiglass cell everyone remembers from Silence Of The Lambs. Apparently, the rights issues for Thomas Harris’ characters are a bit of a mess, so Hannibal: The Series could not make mention of Clarice Starling, even if they’d wanted to. However, they do introduce a Clarice analog in equally-young FBI Agent Miriam Lass. Things don’t work out quite as well for Miriam as they did for Clarice when she is brought into Lecter’s orbit. It’s an interesting, and tragic, dichotomy that very effectively sweeps the legs out from under the viewers’ expectations.

The lack of Clarice didn’t really bother me, since I’d always found Will more interesting than Clarice in that he was meant to be more of an equal to Lecter. The Sherlock Holmes to his Moriarty. What drew me to Hannibal in the first place was the announcement that Will and Lecter would essentially be co-leads in the show. They famously never shared more than a few pages, or a few minutes of screentime, together. So that relationship was ripe for exploring.

Hannibal Lecter is a brilliant psychiatrist, social butterfly, sociopath, murderer and cannibal. Will Graham is brilliant in his own way, but the cost of his brilliance is a near-superhuman level of empathy. That’s what allows Will to get into the minds of the killers that he profiles for his boss, Special Agent Jack Crawford, to bring to justice. For a man with no legitimate connection to his fellow human beings, as Lecter is, Will is something of a unicorn. That push-and-pull is the essence of their relationship as the show progresses.

What follows below here is essentially a summary of each of the three season of Hannibal. They won’t be especially deep dives into the episodes, but they will include major spoilers for the overall arcs of the seasons. So, consider this your final spoiler warning.

Season One plays the most like a procedural show that you might typically see on NBC, even though it did have its flourishes. Hannibal Lecter is a practicing, and renowned psychiatrist, who no one suspects is murdering and eating people – though he is very much already doing both of those things. Will Graham is coming off a case where, as we see in the pilot episode, he shoots and kills a different cannibalistic serial killer. Will is traumatized by the whole experience, and so Jack Crawford sets him up with Dr. Lecter to help manage the toll that Will’s profiling work takes on him. Needless to say, this ends up being a terrible decision.

Throughout the season, Will uses his gift to track down serial killers who commit the most atrocious and horrifying of crimes. What’s interesting is how the final result of many of these murders are presented as works of art. The production design and framing are darkly beautiful, at least until they pull back and show you the horrific entirety of what you’re looking at. A similar style is used when showing Lecter’s food preparation. Everything he makes, set to the tune of popular classical music compositions, looks more delicious than anything you’d see on the Food Network. “Food Porn” is a term I saw applied more than once, even though the viewer knows damn well that the meat used for the recipes is not the sort you could purchase at Whole Foods or Shop-Rite.

After each case Lecter spends a little time helping Will manage, while spending a lot more time trying to dissect Will’s psyche and find out what makes him tick. This is the most serialized part of the first season, Will is helping track down the elusive “Chesapeake Ripper” (aka: Dr. Hannibal Lecter) but not getting close, even though he’s sitting right across from him in therapy. Will also begins acting stranger as the season goes on, losing time, hallucinating, and otherwise losing his grip on reality. Only Lecter knows that Will is suffering from encephalitis, but he doesn’t share that knowledge as that would interfere with his curious mental experiments on Will.

Eventually, Will puts things together and realizes that Lecter is the Ripper. But, by the time he confronts him, Lecter has already framed Will as the Ripper. Will’s mental health is already so ravaged that he’s unable to effectively stop Lecter before Jack steps in and arrests him. The season ends with a twist on the popular “Hello Dr. Lecter” greeting that, to this point, was offered to Lecter in his cell. But, in this case, Lecter is the one standing outside the cell, while Will is locked up.

Season Two takes the serialization to the next level. Will spends the first half of the season, finally free of the encephalitis and thinking clearly, trying to figure out how to acquit himself while convincing all of his FBI colleagues that Lecter is the Ripper they’re hunting. It somewhat stretches credibility that everyone is so sure Will is the Ripper, and that Lecter could not possibly be anything more than he appears on the surface. This is especially egregious with the character of Dr. Alana Bloom, another psychiatrist who played a pretty important role in season one. But, in season two, she is depicted as so blindly believing in Lecter’s innocence that she begins a romantic relationship with him while wagging her finger at Will. It’s a bad character turn that is overcorrected a little in season three.

One thing that season two does better than season one is show the viewer some aspects of Lecter’s insanity that actually create a weaknesses in his armor. For one thing, he cannot stop killing and eating people, which undermines the case against Will, and ultimately leads to Will’s release. Will takes this opportunity to finally convince Jack that Lecter is the Ripper, and the two of them conspire to lure Lecter into a trap using Will as bait.

Lecter’s twisted, yet genuine, love (for lack of a better term) for Will is another of his weaknesses – eventually, this will prove to be his greatest weakness. Will and Lecter engage in a very interesting game of Cat-And-Cat as they re-engage as doctor and patient, only now with both knowing the other’s true selves. Lecter does manage to avoid saying anything direction actionable from a legal level, but he’s also no longer attempting to play Will for a fool. Thus, they finally become more like equals. This makes up most of the second half of season two, and really provides a tense and thrilling propulsion for the remaining episodes.

Lecter’s other symptom of madness is demonstrated by sharing his table with Will and Jack, not knowing that Jack is working with Will to bring him down. Lecter is happy to maintain the illusion that everything is still normal about their interactions, while providing meals and polite conversations. One might expect that, since Will openly acknowledges Lecter as the Ripper, he may have looped Jack in. But Lecter has the pathological need to believe that his mask is still fully functional. This allows Jack and Will to get close enough to spring their trap. Unfortunately, Jack’s boss shuts their plan down shortly before they could complete their sting operation.

The finale of season two is fantastic up until its final moments. I don’t recall the real world circumstances surrounding the show, though there had been some doubt cast regarding a third season pick-up. It seems likely that Hannibal received a late season three renewal or, possibly, a higher episode count for season three than they were expecting. That would account for the finale ending in a massive cliffhanger, rather than with any sort of closure. Or, it’s possible that my expectations were too colored by the source material, and therefore I was left hanging for a last moment that never came, leaving me massively disappointed.

For those unfamiliar with the events leading to Lecter’s capture in the books, and previous films: Lecter stabs Will in the gut, and goes to leave. But Will is able to shoot Lecter before he makes his escape allowing his back-up to arrive and take Lecter into custody while Will goes to the hospital. The season two finale plays out almost exactly in this manner. An added aspect is Jack Crawford fighting Lecter before Will’s arrival, and receiving a grievous injury of his own. Will shows up and gets stabbed by Lecter, who simply walks away from the scene of the crime. No gun shots. No capture. The season just ends with Jack and Will bleeding to death in Lecter’s fancy kitchen.

They do not die, however, because there is a season three. The final season has 13 episodes, and the first seven of those episodes are, in my opinion, the worst seven episodes of the show. Lecter is in Florence, Italy living the good life under an assumed identity while occasionally killing and eating his intellectual rivals. Will and Jack, both recovered, are hunting him separately. Each of these episodes are extremely methodical and dreamy. The scenery is absolutely lovely, and the production design is as lush as it ever was. But the story lacks any forward momentum whatsoever.

In the background of things, Mason Verger is seeking vengeance against Lecter after being drugged and convinced to mutilate his own face at the end of season two. Alana Bloom is by Verger’s side, as she is his sister Margot’s lover. Dr. Bloom dresses like a character from a Tim Burton movie, and is presented as much more cold and stern that in the previous seasons. As I mentioned above, I feel like this was an overcorrection from her season two arc. Regardless, the arc of these episodes involves Will, Jack, and Mason in a race with one another to see who can get to Lecter first.

Will manages to get to the same place at the same time as Lecter first, but Lecter manages to avoid a face-to-face confrontation. Jack tracks Lecter down next, just after Lecter disembowels an Italian police officer on Mason’s payroll, and beats the crap out of him as a receipt for the events of season two. But he misses out on his chance to finish the job on Lecter once and for all. Eventually, several other officers collect the bounty on Lecter, and bring in Will as well. This leads the action back stateside, where Lecter and Will end up prisoners at the Verger Estate.

Alana and Margot’s interests are in direct contrast to Mason’s, which leads to them helping Lecter and Will escape, while killing Mason. Lecter brings Will back home, where Will attempts to extricate himself from Lecter once and for all. In no condition to try to physically end Lecter, Will does the next best thing and tells the mad doctor that he is making the choice to completely remove him from his life in every way. Lecter seems genuinely hurt by Will’s words, as he still feels a powerful kinship with Will. Rather than disappearing from Will’s life, Lecter surrenders to Jack Crawford. His explanation being that, this way, Will will always know where he is and where to find him. Lecter considers this a victory but, as we learn later in season three, Will had anticipated Lecter’s response. Will later says to Lecter “I knew that if I’d kept chasing you, you would have kept running.” Instead, by rejecting him, Will allowed Lecter to seal his own fate while thinking he was getting the last laugh.

This leads to the final six episodes of season three and (as of this moment) the show as a whole. The creative team uses this opportunity to remake Red Dragon for a third time. Had season two ended with Lecter shot and captured, the logical start of season three would have been episode 8. This is why I theorize that the season three renewal and 13 count episode order were somewhat unexpected. If Hannibal had gone from the season two finale directly into Red Dragon, I would have considered it amongst the strongest 20 episode run of any TV show ever. As it stands, I do believe that Hannibal’s telling of this story is significantly better than the Red Dragon film from 2002, and even a little bit better than Manhunter – which is a movie I like quite a lot.

Episode 8 picks up three years after the events of episode 7. Hannibal Lecter is securely locked up, with Alana Bloom as his primary warden. Will Graham is happily married, seemingly retired, and trying his best to be a good stepdad. Jack Crawford is still at his FBI post, and has a big problem. A new serial killer, one who murders entire families, is at-large and he needs Will to come back to help hunt the killer, dubbed by the media as the Tooth Fairy, down. Will is reluctant, but his wife – Molly – knows that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t try to stop the Tooth Fairy before he kills again. So, Will comes back into the fray, and starts by visiting Lecter for the first time since he was imprisoned in order to get the scent back. Lecter is very pleased to see Will again, but the feeling is most certainly not mutual. He agrees to help, though both he and Will know that he will only help to the extent of his own amusement.

The Tooth Fairy is a man named Francis Dollarhyde, given that nickname due to the bite marks he leaves on some of his victims. He hates the name, as he sees himself more as a man transforming into a dragon. His psychosis is tied in some way to the famous William Blake painting “The Great Red Dragon And The Woman Clothed With The Sun” hence the name of the novel. We spend a fairly significant amount of time with Dollarhyde, who’s pretty terrifying but not what I’d call an overtly interesting character. Even though there is a creepy love story involving him and his blind co-worker, Dollarhyde is ultimately meant to serve as the Minotaur in the center of the labyrinth for Will.

Lecter doesn’t see Dollarhyde as a monster. In fact, a recurring theme with Lecter through the previous seasons is him encouraging serial killers to become the best, most interesting serial killer they can be. He even tried, to no avail up until this point, to make Will Graham into a murder. His relationship with Dollarhyde proceeds much along the same lines. Lecter is quite famous – more accurately infamous – by this point, having earned his new title Hannibal The Cannibal, and Dollarhyde tells him that he served as an inspiration for his own transformation. Lecter is flattered by this, and sees an opportunity to the Dollarhyde as the protégé than Will was never willing to be.

By the end of season three, two seemingly unconnected things happen: Lecter sends Dollarhyde to kill Will’s wife and stepson. But Molly is tougher than she looks, and manages to escape with her son. As Will becomes more determined than ever to stop Dollarhyde by whatever means necessary, he also accepts the shocking truth that Hannibal Lecter is in love with him. At least as much as someone like Lecter can love another person. Will decides to use this to put together one last plan with Jack Crawford: Stage a fake escape for Lecter, who will connect with Dollarhyde – who intends kill and eat Lecter to gain his strength – giving the FBI a chance to then kill Dollarhyde. The idea being to kill two monstrous birds with one stone.

Naturally, this plan backfires as Dollarhyde intercedes before they were ready for him, and breaks Lecter out for real. Lecter then bring Will along to a lovely, isolated, cliffside home. The assumption being that Dollarhyde will track them there to kill them. This assumption is correct, and Dollarhyde makes his entrance by shooting Lecter through the glass wall in the back. Will steps aside and allows Dollarhyde to proceed with his plan to kill Lecter. But then Dollarhyde – his psychic transformation into the Dragon clearly leading him to overestimate his abilities – attempts to take on Will and Lecter at the same time.

After a brutal fight that ends with Lecter and Will (again) grievously injured, the pair manages to kill Dollarhyde while atop the cliff. Lecter helps Will to his feet, and embraces him at the edge of the cliff, confessing “This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.” It may be the only moment of pure honesty Lecter demonstrates through the entire run of the series. Will knows this, and realizes that Lecter has completely let his guard down with him for the first time. Will then takes the opportunity to wrap his free arm tightly around Lecter’s neck, and launch them both off the cliff to the raging sea below to their apparent deaths. It may have cost Will his own life, but he did accomplish his goal of ridding the world of both Dollarhyde and Lecter.

Now, there is a post-credits sequence that is left somewhat open to interpretation. Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, Lecter’s psychiatrist who had proven to be nearly as twisted as him, is dressed up at a dinner table about to be served her own severed leg. If the show had been renewed for a fourth season, this would have seemingly been the way to confirm that Lecter – and likely Will – survived their dive off the cliff. But it was never renewed for another season, or even a standalone movie, so one could just as easily interpret this sequence in another way. Du Maurier was Lecter’s accomplice for several months after he escaped to Florence as she wished to study him in his natural habitat. She managed to escape justice through her own machinations after Lecter turned himself in. But her mind was riddled with paranoia, so it could also be assumed that – if Lecter’s body was never found – she entered a fugue state, and prepared her own leg for dinner. It’s a bit more of a stretch, but is easy enough to sell yourself on if you’re looking for a bit more closure on the story that will likely not be continued.

If you’ve read this far, then you clearly have an interest in the show. Hell, the spoilers in this article may even convince you that you won’t be wasting 40 hours on something lackluster. The devil is in the details, as they say, and Hannibal is absolutely a devil worth getting the know the details of. I’ve mentioned the lush production design at the top but, honestly, every part of the production was phenomenal. The writing is sharp, clever, and offers more-than-a-little gallows humor. The directing of each episode is top notch, and the cast is fantastic from the top billed stars, all the way down to the one-off guest stars.

In this era of endless streaming platforms, and the primary cast being pretty open to the idea of reviving the show in – even six years after the final episode aired – there is always a chance that we get more in some fashion. Hell, CBS has already delved back into the IP with their show Clarice starring – you guess it – Clarice Starling, the Thomas Harris brand is still well in-demand. Hannibal ran only 39 episodes, out of which there were only a handful that underwhelmed. Believe me when I say you can, and should, binge this series in a week. If nothing else, it will allow your imagination to run wild next time you watch anything on Food Network.

Showdown In Screamtown: Frightful Four & Chilling Championship

This is it, boys and ghouls!

Only four competitors, and two matches, remain for our semi-finals round.

The monsters who survive those matches will need to step back into the ring tonight so that our champion can be crowned.

Godzilla may be known as King of the Monster, but tonight we’re going to crown the World Heavyweight Champion of Monsters!

SEMI-FINALS MATCH ONE: DRACULA (1) vs PREDATOR (7)

VS

Predator has had some time to lick his wounds or, more accurately, pours that really unpleasant burning powder on them to expedite healing. But Drac, sensing weakness, wastes little time in transforming into Bat-Beast mode, and going right for the jugular (figuratively and literally).

He gets his fangs sunk in, but glowing green blood tastes a bit like the stuff inside of glow sticks to Dracula. This throws the vampire king off his game, allowing the hunter to become an intergalactic Van Helsing.

Predator thrusts his metal wrist-blades into Drac’s chest. Then with two big slashes, he uses the same weapon to take off Dracula’s head, and take his spot in our Main Event,

WINNER: PREDATOR (7)

 

SEMI-FINALS MATCH TWO: THE WOLFMAN (2) vs THE TERMINATOR (6)

VS

Even with just one useful leg and one arm (period) our resident Killing Machine is able to pound the taste out of the Wolfman’s mouth. However, unlike Leatherface, Wolfie heals up almost immediately and goes on the offensive.

The Howling Horror gets right to ripping and tearing wires and hydraulics out of every joint he can find. The cybernetic super punches eventually begin losing the power behind them, and the metal endo-skeleton is soon immobilized and rendered little more than a shiny lawn sculpture.

For the coup de gras, the Wolfman digs into the brain chip slot that has already been scratched and softened up in the previous rounds. Once that little piece of silicon is pulled free, it’s light out for the glowing red eyes of the Terminator. With a mighty howl at the moon, Wolfie charges into the championship match.

WINNER: THE WOLFMAN (2)

 

CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE WOLFMAN (2) vs PREDATOR (7)

VS

And now we come to our Main Event! The final clash of terrifying titans that we’ve all been waiting for.

This one gets bloody quickly, soon turning into a true war of attrition. Both beasts scour, stab, and tear with claws, teeth, and blades as the ring becomes a lake of gore. After a ferocious battle, both combatants fall to their knees and drag themselves off to separate corners.

But there’s one thing that Predator didn’t consider. A twist that he should have seen coming: Only silver can kill a werewolf. So the Wolfman heals up, and rises back to his feet.

He doesn’t move in for the kill right away, as even the most bestial of creatures can recognize a worthy adversary. Predator returns the respect, knowing this has been his last hunt. He rises back to his feet, stands on shaky legs, and nods at his opponent. Wolfman dashes across the ring in the blink of an eye, and makes the kill quickly.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER AND NEWWWWWWWWW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF MONSTERS: THE WOOOOOOOOOLFMAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

I hope you enjoyed reading about this tournament as much as I enjoyed writing it. Maybe I’ll try to come up with something similar in the near-future.

In the meantime, Happy Halloween!

And don’t forget to pick-up my latest novel: What Lies At Baelwood Manor

 

Showdown In Screamtown Round Two: The Evil Eight

It’s time for our mighty monsters to get back in the ring and square off once again to decide who is the baddest of them all!

This group of eight have survived and advanced through one brutal round, now let’s see if they have enough left to move onto the Frightful Four semi-final round.

MATCH ONE: DRACULA (1) vs THE THING (12)

VS

Top-seeded Dracula hasn’t had easy matchups in this tournament, first having to deal with the interdimensional horror of Pennywise, and now facing off with the cosmic terror of The Thing.

Thingie goes right to trick that helped him upset Jason V in Round One, this time taking on the shape of Drac’s long-dead love Elisabeta (for those who forget, in Bram Stoker’s Dracula the titular bloodsucker is super into Mina Harker because she is the reincarnation of he aforementioned Elisabeta). It’s all for nought, though, as Drac immediately sees through the charade, and he’s pretty pissed at his opponent for taking such a low blow.

The grandaddy of all vampires goes all-out, and starts tearing pieces off The Thing. This, of course, only creates more problems for Drac, as every piece he tears off now attacks him. He ends up reaching deep into his bag of tricks and calls upon the creature of the night in the neighborhood. After all the rats and wolves and owls tote every piece of Thingie out of the arena, Dracula is the one left standing in the ring.

WINNER: DRACULA (1)

 

MATCH TWO: THE WOLFMAN (2) vs PINHEAD (9)

VS

Our resident Cenobite is feeling irrationally confident, considering he defeated a little girl in Round One, but Wolfie doesn’t care about that. Pinhead tried to S&M his opponent to death, but every inflicted wound heals almost instantly.

The Wolfman start pulling every nail out of Pinny’s head with his claws and, suddenly, the match changes from a fight to something far sexier (at least as far as Pinhead is concerned). After turning Pinhead into Plain Old Head, Wolfie starts tearing chunks out of the senior hellraiser’s pale body.

Pinhead is loving every second of it. He’s long ago ceased fighting back and, by the time he’s lying on the ground moaning loudly, covered in blood and….other fluids…the ref stops the match. The ring crew are used to mopping up gore, but they didn’t really sign up for this. So Pinhead is politely, but firmly, asked to leave the arena immediately.

WINNER: THE WOLFMAN (2)

 

MATCH THREE: FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER (3) vs PREDATOR (7)

VS

This match is a completely different affair for both these guys. Predator faces off against the exact opposite of an inquiring scientific mind in The Creature, while Frank himself stands across from an enemy who – being unsure whether The Creature is a worthwhile hunt – doesn’t make the first move.

Eventually, Frankenstein’s Monster snarls and moves in for the attack, leading to Predator going invisible and stabbing away from all angles with his wrist-blades. Frank takes a lot of damage, but he’s able to take it in-stride until he gets his hands on P-Diddy. His tech takes the brunt of the attack, so the invisibility strategy doesn’t last much longer.

Frankie comes at the Big Game Space Hunter like a freight train, making the latter starts wishing that the nuke on his forearm wasn’t banned from the tournament (along with all firearms). Instead, he relies on his superior speed and agility to cut Frank down piece-by-piece. The Creature wants to continue but, seeing that his limbs are no longer functioning, the match is stopped.

WINNER: PREDATOR (7)

 

MATCH FOUR: LEATHERFACE (4) vs THE TERMINATOR (6)

VS

This would have been a quick win for the literal Killing Machine in round one, since a chainsaw isn’t much use against a cyborg. But the acid bath and claw massage that the Alien Queen gave him in Round One has left the T-800 in really rough shape.

Leatherface goes to work on the parts that are already damaged, and saws through the exposed gears and wires on every body part he can get at. With the Terminator on the ground, Leatherface really leans his chainsaw into the slot that hold’s his opponent’s brain chip. This ends up being a mistake for the Texas BBQ Master.

The inexplicably Austrian-accented robot manages to grab Leatherface by the throat with his lone functional hand, and snaps his neck with one good twist. He struggles to his feet, dragging one useless leg behind him, and gets that one remaining hand raised in victory.

WINNER: THE TERMINATOR (6)

 

That leaves our Frightful Four semi-finals bouts looking like this:

Dracula (1) vs Predator (7)

The Wolfman (2) vs The Terminator (6)

Since there’s only a grand total of three matches left, we’ll also cover our Chilling Championship match in the next post.

So tune in then to see who is left standing when the dust settles on the Showdown In Screamtown!