Anyone Care For Some Star Wars FanFic?

Just for kicks, I recently decided to write my first fan fiction. Star Wars seems like the best property to take a crack at, as I feel like it’s the most in-flux, so I could pretend that I was crafting the next story that would occur after the infamous Rise Of Skywalker.

Star Wars: Converging Paths is my version of of what I’d like to see the Star Wars continuity look like in a post Sequel Trilogy timeline. There is, admittedly, some existing continuity cherry-picking that I used along the way. But I believe it will broadly fit in-line with what we’ve seen to this point.

I posted it on Archive Of Our Own, so give it a shot if you’re so inclined. I think you’ll enjoy it, if you do.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66952024/chapters/172827007

2025 – A Good Year For Capes & Screams

Two types of movies that I have always loved are horror films and superhero films, and 2025 has been a really good year for both so far.

My favorite horror movies this year are sort of more hybrids than straight-up horror.
Sinners is a really well-mixes action-horror with inspirational ties to a couple of my favorite horror flicks from the ’90’s: From Dusk Til Dawn and Tales From The Crypt Presents Demon Knight. Another old movie that seemed to be reflected here was the mid-80’s Italian horror cult classic: Demons.
Ryan Coogler is one of the most accomplished directors working today, so him delivering the good here was less of a surprise than the several full-blown and catchy musical numbers in the film.

Danny Boyle and Alex Garland coming back for – what I suppose would be considered a legacy sequel (legasequel) at this point – 28 Year Later was probably less of a sure thing than Sinners, but they made a movie worthy of following up one of the tightest and most influential horror movies of all-time: 28 Days Later.
In some ways it’s very different than the original but, considering it’s set nearly thirty years into England being quarantined from the rest of the world, it had to be in order to make any sense.
The fact that all the folk horror and zombie action are window dressing for a young man’s coming-of-age story is an intriguing Trojan Horse job that is much better than it really had to be in order to be considered a success.

Weapons goes even younger with its mysteriously missing kids plot, though only one of the children actually plays a part in the story – at least until its very cathartic ending. It also takes a stronger mystery and humor angle than Sinners or 28 Years Later.
The filmmaker – Zach Cregger – doesn’t have nearly the same resume as Coogler, Boyle, or Garland, but between Weapons and Barbarian he’s well on his way to finding a similar niche as someone like Jordan Peele as someone who can consistently be counted on to putting out horror flicks with widespread appeal

Thunderbolts* (aka New Avengers) and Fantastic Four were the two most enjoyable MCU films since Spider-Man: No Way Home. That Spidey flick was more of a stunt to pull in an avalanche of nostaglia cred – and worked wonderfully as such. But Thunderbolts* is probably a better as a start-to-finish movie, and was a solid effort to make a smaller (by MCU standards) film. It also handles very real mental health struggles with a far more deft hand than one might expect from the MCU. I was very happy when they handed its director – Jake Schreier – the keys to X-Men.

Fantastic Four works for similar reasons – making us actually care about the characters – but also because it is able to truly stand alone as a movie, without needing to have any prior knowledge of the 15+ years of MCU history. In fact, that’s why I was able to bring my kids (9 years-old and 6 years-old) to the movie, and they were able to completely enjoy it on its own merits.

We also took the kids to see Superman – which they loved nearly as much as I did – and they were able to get in on the ground floor for the new DC Universe, which will be shepherded in by James Gunn.
I’ve always liked Gunn’s films, and his TV shows, dating all the way back to movies like Slither and Super.
As someone who grew up on the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, I am not afraid to say that I felt like the new Superman was the best Superman movie. It had all the heart of those first two Reeves films, but it was able to deliver action sequences that simply were not possible 40+ years ago.
Superman, the character, has always been he platonic ideal of non-toxic masculinity.
This is a man with incredible powers who cares deeply for people, respects people, fights for all the people who face enemies and dangers that they could not hope to stand against alone.
But he’s also flawed, and he makes mistakes – but he recognizes and accepts those flaws and mistakes, and does what he can to become the best version of himself.
That’s something that the world really needs to see now more than it has in a long time, and I was so happy to take my boys to experience that on the big screen.

Damn, Three Years?

My last post was in 2022?
Boy, has a lot happened since then. I’m going to get back on here and post some longer form stuff about things I enjoy and want to blab about to no one in-particular.

Rather than even try to catch up, I’m just going to go for more “from this point on” thing. Though I will do a quick 2025 catchup post soon, just to sort of get back into the swing of things.


Even so, I imagine I’ll be a lot more active on my other social media poisons of choice. Speaking of which:

Threads: @joemikolay

BlueSky: @joemikolay.bsky.social

Orphans – Read The First Four Chapters Of My New Novel For Free

Sheriff Clarence Barnes is the law in the small Wyoming town of Hillbrook.
Anthony Cantare is a hired killer who finds his way to Hillbrook after a job-gone-wrong.
Uriel is a man with no memories, and no place in the world, whose unending search for a lost past takes him to Hillbrook. These three strangers find their fates intertwined, even as a murderous militia group threatens to lay siege to the town.
But this looming incursion may not be as great a threat to them, as they are to each other.

PROLOGUE

Sister Eloise would never forget that stormy September night with thunder rattling the windows and lightning carving a gash through the darkened skies.

She had been with St. Michael’s in the Brighton Beach area of Brooklyn since it was a church, and stayed with it when it was converted into an orphanage nearly twenty years prior.

Early in her tenure she was placed in-charge of the day-to-day operations of St. Michael’s Orphanage, and it wasn’t long before she was looked upon by the other Sisters as their de facto leader. Sister Eloise had seen many things in her time at the orphanage, and many children pass through her doors. But she had never expected to come upon a baby in a basket, despite the outside world’s general notion that it happened all the time.

Most of the time there would be an expectant couple, or a teenage girl with her parents, who were not prepared to take care of a child. They would come to St. Michael’s, where Sister Eloise would hear them out, and then arrangements would be made for the child to be taken in. Some would want to name the baby before releasing them to the Sisters. Others preferred not to, often due to a fear that any added emotional attachment would make the process impossible to complete.

For the unnamed children, the Sisters would take turns picking names. Often, they would be named

after a currently popular actor or singer. And there were quite a few names that were picked out of a book that the naming Sister loved.

But on that September night, with the tempest raging outside, there were no frightened parents-to-be, and no disapproving grandparents-to-be with their frightened child. There was only the sound of a doorbell ringing, and then a basket sitting at the doorstep when Sister Eloise finally opened the door.

It was a large wicker basket stuffed with blankets, and only the cherubic face of an infant uncovered. Sister Eloise took a mental inventory to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming this evening. Finally, she picked up the basket and brought it inside, safe from the elements. The baby was not crying, or otherwise reacting in any way other than curiously glancing at the room and the face of the woman standing before him. 

The baby’s apparent serenity added even more strangeness to an already surreal situation. As Sister Eloise was considering what the proper protocol for this scenario was, she spotted a note attached to the child’s blanket. ‘MY NAME IS WILLIAM’ the note read.

She took the child out of the basket and wrapped him in fresh towels from the linen closet. It was very late, and so all the other Sisters and children were asleep. Sister Eloise paced back and forth across her personal quarters with William until the boy had fallen asleep in her arms.

She was very tired herself, but did not want to put herself to bed until the child had a proper surname. Many names passed through her mind, but

none seemed quite right. At the point of exhaustion, Sister Eloise decided that the most fitting surname was her own. And so, the baby became William Conlan.

When Sister Eloise told the others about the basket baby, and the granting him of her own name, there was some concern. The first of which was the repulsion at the thought of the sort of people who would leave a baby on a doorstep without knowing if the door would even be answered. The other concern was regarding the emotional attachment that would come with Sister Eloise giving the boy her family name. But Sister Eloise’s judgment had always been above reproach, and soon that concern faded away.

Years came and went, and still St. Michael’s Orphanage was the only home that William Conlan had ever known. A small group of nuns had been his only family, and an ever-changing collection of children had been his friends. Every memory from the first ten years of his life was connected to this place.

And while William had been living there for at least three years longer than any other child, he was not angry or bitter at being passed over by so many prospective parents. He felt content, and happy to be of use to his home in any way that he could.

 As a young boy, he would stay close to Sister Eloise at all times. The bond formed on that stormy night growing stronger with time. By the time he was seven-years-old, William was already helping to monitor the other children. He knew the ins and outs of St. Michael’s and the surrounding neighborhood,

and was always happy to help others become acclimated.

Soon, he was helping tidy up both the boys’ and girls’ wings, and making friends in both. As a general rule, the boys and the girls were kept separate whenever possible. But it was a rule that was happily bent for the smallest member of the staff.

At ten-years-old, and ten years at St. Michael’s, Sister Eloise and the others found themselves frustrated that William was not adopted. As kind and lovely a child as any of the Sisters had encountered, with chestnut-colored hair and eyes to match. The fact that he remained at the orphanage confounded the nuns.

It was Sister Eloise who seemed to crack this mystery after a time, when she realized that William was truly happy at St. Michael’s. She imagined that the adopting couples came in and saw a boy who did not want to be removed from the world he had created for himself. As glad as Sister Eloise was to keep William at her side, she still regretted that a normal life with a traditional family evaded him.

But William paid no mind to the occasional sad glances of the nuns. He would simply go about his business every day. He may have only been ten-years-old, but his tenure at St. Michael’s was longer than many of the Sisters’. The boy found boundless joy in his regular routines.

He would wake up before the other children in the morning, and help the Sisters prepare breakfast for everyone. Then, as the Sisters finished up with the food, William would get started setting the tables in the large Mess Hall. He would lay out the plates,

glasses and silverware on the long tables in the only room that the boys and girls would typically share.

 When the first announcement over the loudspeakers called for everyone to come and get their food, William would walk through the dormitories and make sure that no one missed the first meal of the day. After breakfast, he would help clear the tables and wait until the others finished before taking his own turn in the showers. He was equally as involved in lunch and dinner.

There was a courtyard behind St. Michael’s with a playground in the center. William could sometimes be found climbing on the monkey bars, and playing under the basketball hoops. But more often, he would watch the other children play and make sure that none of them got hurt. Or, if they did, he was always the first person to check on them.

But what impressed Sister Eloise and the others the most was William’s behavior when prospective parents would visit. He knew all the children at least as well as the Sisters did, and so he would help greet the couples when they arrived. After meeting the couples, he offered some names to the nuns that he felt would be what they were looking for. The one name that he never offered was his own.

While William was a long way from eighteen, the Sisters worried what would happen if that time came. They were legally obligated to remove an orphan from St. Michael’s when they came of age. However, the opportunity to put that plan into effect never arose.

Sister Eloise was not about to turn William out onto the street, and she decided that if he was still

with them when he turned eighteen, then she would offer him the chance to stay with them as a member of the staff for as long as he wished. Though, she still prayed every night that the time for this would not come.

St. Michael’s may have been the only shelter that William ever wanted, but even it was not sheltered from the outside world. One day, not unlike any other, the wolves made their way to the door.

It was a glorious summer morning, and all of the children were taking in the sunlight on the playground. It was warm but not humid, and the breeze would blow the heat right past the children whenever it got too hot. William was playing Freeze Tag with three other boys when he got thirsty, and decided to run over to the hose for a drink of water.

He sprayed the cool water in his face, before opening his mouth and quenching his thirst. He shook the water out of his hair when he heard Sister Eloise talking to someone at the side of St. Michael’s. She was using her stern voice, which William had heard many times before when he, or another child, got out of line.

Curious about who might be getting in trouble this time, William peered around the corner and saw Sister Eloise speaking with a man in a suit. The man’s back was turned to William, but the strange markings on the man’s hand caught the boy’s eye.

William had no way of knowing that each tattoo represented another of the man’s many crimes. Among them were playing cards, and some strange shaped stars. But it was a tattoo of a cat with its fangs bared, wearing what looked like a pirate’s hat, that

really made the boy curious. After reading Puss In Boots many times, William was suddenly interested in whatever this man had to say.

It was hard for him to understand the man at first, as he spoke with a very heavy accent. After a few more words, Williams identified the Russian accent as one he had heard on the streets many times before in Brighton Beach. The meaning of the conversation itself remained elusive to the boy.

“Is very simple,” the man said around his accent. “You pay for service, or there is problem.”

“What kind of a monster are you?” Sister Eloise asked. “This is an orphanage! We don’t have any money. We only have what the church gives us.”

“Then you give us part what church gives you,” the man replied.

 “So, you want our canned goods and blankets?” Sister Eloise said with exasperation.

“No, no,” the man with the cat on his hand replied. “This is no good. Our service is not cheap.”

“And what exactly would you be protecting us from?” Sister Eloise scoffed. “Other than yourselves.”

The man rolled his neck, eliciting a series of cracking noises. He then grabbed his right fist with the cat in the hat tattoo and popped his knuckles. “You will give us product.”

“What sort of product do you think we have here?”

“Is very in-demand product. Will cover what you owe for a while.”

“I am going to call the police. I suggest you leave before they get here,” Sister Eloise said as she turned towards the side entrance.

“You give us child,” the man said, just as she turned her back to him. “One, maybe two. And we leave you alone for little while.”

Sister Eloise stopped in her tracks. When she turned to face the man again, the fury in her eyes seemed to burn even brighter when compared to the absolute stillness of her body. Without a word, she walked over to the man and cracked him across his face with the palm of her hand.

William had never seen such anger from her before, and he became frightened.

The man seemed to stand up taller than he previously was, as if he was preparing to deliver a strike of his own.

“You will reconsider,” the man finally growled.

“I will never!” Sister Eloise replied. “Now get out of my sight. A thing like you has no place standing near a house of the Lord.”

“I gave you chance,” the man said. “What happens now, you have done.”

The man with the cat tattoo walked past Sister Eloise, who had her fists clenched in a rage.

Unsettled, William walked back towards the playground and took a seat in a shady spot under a tree. After a few minutes he saw Sister Eloise come around the corner and give instructions to another Sister. She passed through the fence entrance, while William quickly and silently slipped out behind her.

He followed her from a safe distance as she walked five blocks to the local police precinct. William watched from a concealed spot behind a car parked across the street. Sister Eloise remained in the Police Station for nearly thirty minutes. When she came back out, she seemed even angrier than when she had entered it.

After returning to St. Michael’s, Sister Eloise locked herself in her private quarters for the remainder of the day. William had never seen her in such a state before, and his worries kept him from sleeping that night. As he lay awake in bed, William heard a cat meowing outside the window.

The cat was a neighborhood stray, and a few nights every week it would come calling. On these nights, Williams would sneak down to the kitchen, grab a few slices of turkey, and then crawl out his window to feed the cat.

He was grateful that the animal had come tonight, as he was in no mood to sleep. So, William grabbed some turkey, and shimmied his way down the water pipe outside his window. But when he reached the ground, the cat was nowhere to be found.

William figured something must have scared it away, so he began tearing the turkey into smaller bits and making kissing sounds to lure the cat out. He was in-front of the apartment building next to St. Michael’s when the explosion knocked him off his feet from behind.

He spun onto his back and saw the flames already engulfing the building. William ran screaming towards St. Michael’s, even as it was being devoured

by flames. He managed to run around the flames to reach the front door, only to find it chained and padlocked.

With the heat nearly suffocating him, William still managed to run to the side entrance, only to find it equally sealed off with heavy chains and padlocks. The fire escape around the back of the building had been made unusable by the initial explosion. William called out to the others inside, only for his calls to be met by frightful and agonized screams.

William ran back to the apartment building next door and began ringing every buzzer. Finally, one tenant buzzed him in. The boy ran to the open door and begged the man who opened the door to call the fire department. 

The boy watched out the apartment window, as the screams began to subside. Before the fire trucks arrived, St. Michael’s had collapsed into a mountain of flaming rubble. William’s eyes went wide and his body numb as his entire world was reduced into flaming cinders.

When William was brought to the same Police Station that he had seen Sister Eloise venture to earlier that day, he was taken to the office of a detective. After he was given a glass of water and seated, the detective entered the room.

“You’ve been through a lot,” the detective said, but William just stared blankly ahead.

“Are they all dead?” the boy asked flatly.

The detective weighed his response for a long moment before replying. “I’m sorry, son.”

William’s shoulders dropped heavily, and his eyes turned towards the floor.

“Do you have any idea who might have done this?” The detective asked.

“The man with the cat on his hand,” William replied, never lifting his gaze from the floor.

“Are you talking about an actual cat?” The detective asked. “Or a tattoo? A drawing on his skin?”

William nodded after the last part.

“Shit,” the detective muttered under his breath.

As the detective leaned back in his chair, William felt that the man’s look of helplessness matched Sister Eloise’s look of fury earlier.

Before he was able to continue, another police officer opened the door to the office.

“Sorry to interrupts, sir,” the other officer began. “But they need you in the other room with one of the apartment tenants.”

“I’ll be right back,” the detective said to William before walking following the other officer out the door.

After a few moments another man entered the office and closed the door behind him. He was a tall man with short blonde hair, and blue eyes.

“You must be William,” the man said, as William’s eyes remained downturned. “I am Father Luke. Would you like to help us get retribution for what was done tonight?”

William finally looked up at the man, and gave him a determined nod.

“Then come with me,” Father Luke said, as he extended his hand to the boy and led him out the door.

A few minutes later, the detective returned to his office and – upon noticing William was gone – called out into the hallway. “Hey, where the hell did the kid go?”

PART ONE

HILLBROOK I:

ANTHONY CANTARE

Anthony Cantare was not accustomed to setbacks, especially in regards to his work. He was a perfectionist who plotted out every aspect of his assignments before he even formally accepted them. Many other people in his line of work would be forced to take a job on the spot, lest they miss out on the payday. 

But Cantare was the best, and anyone who had the means to get in-touch with him would have to know that. He had spent years building a very exclusive network of contacts, and no potential employer without the money, status, or both could get anywhere near them. In fact, some of those contacts had learned very severe lessons by bothering Cantare with job offers that he’d deemed beneath him.

This last job nearly fell into that category, and the contact who had brought it to Cantare nearly took a fall of his own. Taking out a domestic militia nutjob was something that any redneck with a shotgun, big balls, and nothing to lose would be able to do. Even as Cantare lurked behind this contact with his thumb and forefinger on the hilt of the blade that he’d always kept concealed on the inside of his left sleeve, a bit of information was revealed that saved the man’s life.

The employer for the job was a Wyoming senator, and Cantare always gave politicians preferential consideration, as they always paid considerably well. Cantare also warmed at the thought of holding a favor over the head of a senator. Sure, he had done jobs in the past for more run-of-the-mill politicians. But here was a man who had larger aspirations. Pennsylvania Avenue aspirations. And that was something that Cantare could not resist.

The payment for the assignment would be an even five million dollars, which was not the highest that Cantare had ever charged for a job, but seemed a little high for this kind of work. So, Cantare gave the senator a “maybe”, and then did his research on the target. It was through this that Cantare began to understand the lofty price, and the lofty man who wanted the target eliminated. 

Randall James Marshall had more than just a people’s militia or a survivalist group. He had a private army, and one which was comprised of people who saw Marshall as a teacher, a preacher, and a savior. Marshall had built a village deep in a well-protected valley, surrounded by the Laramie mountain range. He preached to his flock about the glorious new world that they would build after all the spiteful, spineless heretics sunk the old world into Armageddon.

Marshall and his followers had built the village seven years prior, and adopted the title of Marshall’s Militia. There, they would live and train to become the equals of the great armies of old. And their glory

would breed a new world, a stronger world that would bury all memory of this weaker world.

No one outside of Marshall’s compound had been able to make an accurate count of how many people were currently living there. But estimates from satellite surveillance claimed at least sixty-five people, including women and children.

The fact that Marshall’s Militia compound was considered too perilous to attack with an outside force was the other thing that caught Cantare’s eye. Marshall was not seen as a direct threat by the Powers-That-Be, and the fact that his village was situated in an area that would no doubt cost many members of an invading force their lives, made any attempt a no-go from the start.

The good senator had tried to convince his peers otherwise many times. He would claim that Marshall was a time-bomb about to explode at any moment. And that the children raised in the ways of the Militia would ensure that Marshall’s legacy would live on and poison future generations. He had campaigned that the compound be razed before it became an infected abscess that bred a wave of domestic terrorism. But his calls to action fell on deaf ears.

Cantare believed – to a degree – that these were the reasons why the senator wanted Marshall eliminated. But Cantare also figured the true motive was that having Marshall’s Militia in Wyoming was a black eye on the record of a man who had his sights set on The White House.

The contract was only for Marshall, as the senator believed in chopping the head off the serpent to kill the body. Cantare’s job description did not

include caring about whether or not his employer’s theories were valid. He was paid to end lives. Any of the fallout from that was someone else’s concern. So Cantare took the job.

Payment was always made before preparations had begun. Anthony Cantare had no interest in killing people for free, so he made sure that the money was in his hands before the blood was on them.

The senator had to make the cash drop alone, and Cantare would stay hidden in the shadows during the exchange. This was Cantare’s protocol, more to study his employers than anything else. Watching a man’s mannerisms, and listening to his word choice while he was paying someone to do his killing for him made Cantare feel like he could see into their souls.

The senator, like all of the politicians who had hired Cantare before him, came dressed in dark clothes with his face hidden behind sunglasses and a hat. Cantare always got a chuckle when he imagined these people coming to see him in those flashy suits and power ties that they always wore to their press conferences. But the only people who ever dressed up for these exchanges were underworld types who more-then-likely kept a stash of money to be used exclusively for hired killings.

The senator seemed nervous – as many of them did – but Cantare did not feel like he was scared of the professional killer lurking in the shadows. He believed that the senator was beginning to fear possible retribution from the other dwellers of Marshall’s Militia. Cantare was not in the habit of telling his employers about his methods, but he did assure them that the killings would not be traced back

to them. In this case, he also told the senator that the death would seem to be due to natural causes.

With as few words as possible, the exchange was done, and Cantare began to gather his resources. Since he had no real desire to travel back to Wyoming, he had decided to set his plans in-motion directly after the meeting. And so, with one suitcase of clothing, one suitcase of tools, and one duffle bag containing five million dollars, he set about his purpose.

Cantare fancied himself as something of an artist. He could take out a target in nearly any type of environment from just over five-hundred-meters with a sniper rifle, but he liked to mix things up. Throughout his career he had used nearly every method of death available.

He had electrocuted a mafia snitch, and strangled a cop on the take who wasn’t earning his keep. He had poisoned a congressman during a dinner at a high-end restaurant, and fed a South American dictator to his own pet piranhas. He had borrowed the M.O of an at-large serial killer to take out a pesky murder witness. He did what he could to keep his work stimulating for himself.

For Randall James Marshall, he decided that suffocation would do nicely. It would be silent and neat, with no clean-up or flashes. The last thing he needed was half a dozen militia nuts kicking down the door and blasting away at him.

Cantare was cocky about his skills, but he wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t bullet-proof. The tough part of this job would be locating where Marshall slept, and then gaining access to him without interference.

Before meeting with the senator, Cantare had traveled to the vicinity of the Marshall’s Militia compound. He’d spent several days and nights scouting the area to develop a basic game plan. It would be a challenge, but not as daunting as he initially believed.

After accepting the job, Cantare flew into Colorado and made a cash purchase of a used white van in Denver. It was early March, and snow still covered much of the area – so white would be the best camouflage. He then travelled to a suburban shop and bought a top-of-the-line snow mobile. From there he loaded the snow mobile into the van and made the drive to Wyoming.

Cantare stopped the van near the stretch of highway that offered the best access point to the compound’s valley.  He didn’t want to raise any suspicions, so he pulled the van far enough off the road where it would not be seen from the highway and slept in the back.

Using the satellite images and coordinates given to him by the senator, he decided that he was close enough to make the trip with the snow mobile. The vehicle was silent and fast, but Cantare still left it nearly half a mile away. He had set up his own camp near the snow mobile and made several trips to Marshall’s compound over the course of a week.

Using that time, he studied the layout. There was a supply shed in the middle of the village, and the cabins all grew out of that central location. A dozen jeeps and pick-up trucks were parked in the street.

 Every man and woman carried guns at all times, and there was a round-the-clock lookout.

Generally, the lookouts would be stationed at the edge of the village with a rotation every three hours. Cantare decided that the shift change would be the best time to gain access to the compound. He ventured in one night while two lookouts were chatting during the transition.

These people were trained, but not nearly as efficiently as they could have been. Cantare spent three days and nights in their vicinity, and the closest he felt to harm was when he heard several gunshots from militia men hunting for food nearly a quarter of a mile away. By his count, the compound contained thirty-four men who were in their late teens and over, twenty-nine women and fourteen children.

Marshall’s cabin was built directly out of the side of a mountain. It wasn’t noticeably bigger than the other cabins, but it did have two guards outside its front door at all times. But Cantare found a very narrow foot trail leading down the mountain towards Marshall’s roof. This cabin, like all of the others, had a chimney and Cantare knew this would be his best point of entry.

When night had fallen once again, Anthony Cantare moved towards the compound. The only real weapons he had on him were a silenced .45 and his trusty hidden blade. He had also packed a pair of night vision goggles, a rag, and a bottle of chloroform.

He gained access to the mountain that Marshall’s cabin had been built next to during the 2 AM shift change, and followed the narrow foot trail down to

Marshall’s roof. After putting on the night vision goggles, he braced himself against either side of the chimney, and made his way into Marshall’s cabin.

The chimney led into a living room populated by four couches that formed a square around a round table. There was a lot of shelving built into the walls, most of which contained books, blueprints, and maps.

There was no television, but a transistor radio, and a CB radio sat next to each other. Most of the books were non-fiction selections about war, survival, and legendary leaders. Cantare knew that if he lived in this shitty little cabin, and was forced to use the series of outhouses lining the street, he would shoot himself out of boredom and disgust inside of a month.

A long counter separated the living room from the kitchen, and past the kitchen was a short hallway that would lead to the bedroom. Cantare turned the door knob and pulled the door open only a few inches.

He examined the room and his eyes were instantly drawn to the thin wire stretching across the door about five inches off the ground. Once he discerned that the wire wasn’t connect to the door in any way, he opened it wider, stepped over the wire, and into the bedroom.

Due to his earlier surveillance, Cantare knew that Marshall always slept alone which only made his job that much easier. He stood at the side of Marshall’s bed for a few moments, taking a look around. He pushed away a small sense of disappointment when he told himself that it was the easiest five million dollars he’d ever made.

Finally, he took out the rag and soaked it in chloroform. He pressed it firmly against Marshall’s mouth, and squeezed his nostrils shut at the same time. He held tight for four minutes, before finally taking a pulse and confirming that this wannabe savior was indeed dead.

Not being in any particular hurry, Cantare stood over his latest victim for a few minutes before leaving the bedroom, and closing the door behind him. He made his way back to – and up – the chimney, and was on the foot trail in minutes.

He made it up to the snow mobile, where his camp was already packed up, and tied to the back of the vehicle. After cutting his ways through the darkness, Cantare pushed the snow mobile up the ramp into the van, and drove off into the night.

He planned to drive the van back to his home which was located just north of San Francisco. He had installed a fireproof sub-cellar where he disposed of vehicles and other unneeded objects. Though he figured he’d keep the snow mobile, as it promised some future use – either personal or professional.

Cantare had driven less than two miles down the highway from where he had hidden the van when his plan took a hit. The engine of the van began to smoke and eventually just stopped. Cantare was skilled in many things – including mechanics – but what he found under the hood could not be fixed, only replaced. He considered what options he may have, including how far the snow mobile could take him, but finally decided that his options were nonexistent.

Using his map, Cantare found the nearest town to be Hillbrook, Wyoming. He called the local mechanic with one of his burner phones, and requested a tow. After an hour’s wait, Cantare spotted the tow truck approaching. It stopped in-front of the van and the driver, a tall, thick-bellied man in his late-forties stepped out. He wore a heavy flannel coat and a ball cap that read Jay’s Auto Stop as he walked up to Cantare.

“You must be the fella that called me,” the man said.

“I must be,” Cantare replied coldly.

“I tell ya what,” the man started. “It’s a good thing that I live in my shop. I’d hate to think that you’d have to stay out here all night.”

“My lucky night I suppose,” Cantare replied. “If you live in your shop, I’m guessing that you’re Jay.”

“That I am, sir,” Jay answered. “And you are?”

“Cantwell,” Cantare lied. “Adam Cantwell.”

“Well Mr. Cantwell, let’s see what we got here,” the man said as he approached the hood of the van.

Cantare walked up behind the man, and he felt his pistol in its holster at the small of his back. He thought about putting one in the back of Jay’s head, taking his tow truck to the next town past Hillbrook, and securing another vehicle that could get him to an airport. But he quickly thought better of it, as it’s hard to be inconspicuous in a tow truck with Jay’s Auto Shop spray painted in lime green on both doors.

“Transition’s definitely shot,” Jay deduced.

“Have you got what you need at your shop to get it up and running tonight?” Cantare asked.

“I’m afraid that I do not,” Jay said regrettably. “I’ll have to order the part from Jackson Hole.”

“How long will it take to get the part?” asked Cantare.

“Day or two at most. As long as they have it in stock,” replied Jay.

Cantare, annoyed by this response, briefly considered shooting Jay again. But, ultimately, thought better of it.

“You came from Hillbrook, right?” Cantare asked.

“Yep.”

“They got a motel there?”

“Don’t really get enough visitors for a motel. Got a bed & breakfast though.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

“I think you’re in for a treat. Helen Delaney runs the place, and she makes a heckuva an omelet.”

“That sounds,” Cantare started as he caressed the handle of his pistol again. “Just fine, Jay.”

“You wanna ride with me?” Jay asked.

“How far is it?” countered Cantare.

“’Bout twenty minutes.”

“You know what, I think I’ll stay in my van. I have some important items in there.”

“You can bring ‘em with you into the truck if you like.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Your call.”

Jay hooked up the van to his tow truck, as Cantare climbed behind the wheel of his vehicle. As the truck began pulling the van, Cantare placed his

hand on the duffle bag containing the Senator’s payment. Five million dollars for a cakewalk job and a layover in bumblefuck Wyoming seeming fair enough to him.

HILLBROOK I:

SHERIFF CLARENCE BARNES

Hillbrook, Wyoming – population 452 – was not what Sheriff Clarence Barnes had envisioned when he began his career in law enforcement. He was, in fact, offered his desired post as a homicide detective nearly seven years prior. He was younger than most detectives at the time, but was offered his shield when he ended the rampage of a notorious serial killer.

The man who the media dubbed The Brute had murdered seven girls between the ages of sixteen and nineteen-years-old. He was given the name because his method of murder was always blunt force trauma to the head and neck of his victims. The nightmare lasted just over a month before Barnes, then just a patrolman, had stumbled upon The Brute and his latest victim.

A stand-off that seemed to last an eternity in Barnes’ mind, and a full magazine of bullets later, The Brute was dead. Detective John Fern was the lead investigator on the case and, upon his endorsement, Barnes was offered the title of homicide detective.

Interview requests came through en masse on a daily basis, and every newspaper headline ran a photo of Barnes with the word Hero nearby. It was Clarence Barnes’ time to shine, but instead he merely faded

into the infinite blackness that he had seen in The Brute’s eyes.

After being given some time off, and turning down every interviewer who came to his door, Barnes had come to a decision. He decided that he did not want to spend the rest of his life staring into that deep void of a killer’s mind.

Perhaps he once thought that he could face it down, and bring justice to the dead. But he had a wife, a young daughter, and another child on the way. So, when Clarence Barnes offered his resignation, Detective John Fern once again offered his help. Only this time it was in the form of advice.

Detective Fern had told Barnes about the town where he’d grown up: A small, quiet village called Hillbrook. The fact that it was located in Wyoming gave Barnes pause, as he and his wife had grown up in cities and suburbs. He was afraid that the mountains and wide-open spaces would hit them with culture shock.

But Fern assured him that Hillbrook was more of a suburb than anything else, and he still had people back there who would gladly give Barnes a post. Fern finished his pitch by telling him that he would always have a spot waiting for him with the LAPD.

Barnes had a long conversation with his wife, Diana, about the opportunity. And while she was reluctant to leave the life they knew behind, she also believed that her husband needed this. She had met Clarence in high school and, in that time, he had never once asked something for himself. He was a strong and independent man who was not accustomed to asking for help.

She had seen the change in him since he faced down The Brute. The way the weight of his experience bore down upon him. Clarence had taken on a case that was very personal to him afterward, but this only proved to be the final handful of dirt on the grave of their lives in Los Angeles. And so, they packed up their modest apartment and drove a U-Haul van out to Wyoming.

When they arrived in Hillbrook they were greeted by Mayor Bob Phillips and other local leaders. This welcoming committee was comprised mostly of the local shop owners. Beyond the town leaders were the other residents of Hillbrook, the total amount of which added up to less people that most of the parades that the Barnes family had attended in Los Angeles.

“Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!” Mayor Phillips said, as he vigorously shook Clarence’s hand.

“Or should I say Sheriff and Mrs. Barnes?”

“You must be Mayor Phillips,” Barnes replied.

“Indeed, I am,” Phillips confirmed. “But please, call me Bob.”

“Then you’ll have to call me Clarence.”

“I sure will,” Mayor Phillips smiled. “Johnny Fern told me some wonderful things about you.”

“He’s a good man,” Barnes followed.

“He said the same of you,” Mayor Phillips then turned his eyes to Clarence’s wife and daughter.

“Bob, this is my wife Diana,” Barnes started. “Diana, this is Mayor Bob Phillips.”

“A pleasure Mr. Mayor,” Diana said as she took his outstretched hand.

“The pleasure is all mine ma’am,” Mayor Phillips countered, and then turned his eyes towards their five-year-old daughter. “And who is this lovely young lady?”

“This is Debbie,” Diana said. “Debbie, say hello to the mayor.”

“Hello, sir,” Debbie said, while holding her mother’s leg.

“Welcome to Hillbrook, sweetheart,” Mayor Phillips greeted. “And I see we’re to have another new resident soon,” he said, as he winked at the visibly pregnant Diana.

Diana nodded and laughed softly.

“Well, come on,” Mayor Phillips continued. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

The Barnes family followed the mayor into the crowd, where they were met by the shop owners first, and the other residents shortly afterwards.

 Hillbrook was almost a literal one-stoplight town. The center of town amounted to two main roads – Main Street and Hillbrook Avenue – that met at a four-way intersection. Main Street ran north to south, and so above the intersection was called North Main Street, while below was South Main Street. Hillbrook Avenue ran east to west and so was broken up into East Hillbrook Avenue and West Hillbrook Avenue.

All of the shops ran along one of these two roads, as did the Town Hall and the Sheriff’s Station. At the top of North Main Street sat Helen Delaney’s Bed & Breakfast. Walking south from the bed & breakfast one could find a number of shops that

included the local book shop, grocery store, hardware store, bakery, and clothing shop. At the south end one could find the town pub which was owned by Lenny Macklin, and Jay’s Auto Shop.

Town Hall and the Sheriff’s Station sat next to each other at easternmost point of East Hillbrook Avenue. Stretching west were the hair salon, diner, pharmacy, and other shops that culminated on the far west end of West Hilbrook Avenue with Doctor Walter Fahey’s office. The fact was that a person could walk from the top of North Main Street to the bottom of South Main Street – or from the end of East Hillbrook Ave to the end of West Hillbrook Avenue – in just over fifteen minutes.

There was no local schoolhouse, as all of the town’s children would attend the schools located in the next nearest town. Pineville was about a twenty-minute drive down the highway, and was a much larger town. There they had larger public schools, a hospital, department stores, a movie theater, and all the other general necessities. 

The homes lay beyond Main Street and Hillbrook Avenue, surrounding them almost as one would circle the wagons to fend off an attack by the natives. This was, in fact, the original settlers’ intention. The ends of North and South Main Street fed into exits where people could pull in from, or out to, the highway. The East and West points of Hillbrook Avenue led to the homes of the citizens.

The domestic areas of Hillbrook formed a circle around the center of town, breaking only at the highway entrances. The homes themselves rested on small roads which stemmed out from East and West

Hillbrook Avenue, and all ended in cul-de-sacs. There was also a narrow walkway and fence that encircled the center of town behind the shops, and separated it from the housing areas. 

Out past the houses were the mountains, which rose gloriously and penetrated the clear, blue sky. As sheriff, Clarence Barnes was given a home located off of East Hillbrook Avenue. Barnes could, in fact, see the Sheriff’s Station from his bedroom window.

The house was a good sized, three-bedroom, two-bathroom construction. The living room had broad windows on three sides and lead directly into a new refurnished kitchen. There was a cellar, den, attic, and one bathroom on each floor. The stairway led to an upstairs hallway with one bedroom on either end, and a third bedroom across from the upstairs bathroom.

Clarence and Diana felt guilty at first, but those feelings were assuaged by the mayor’s claim that since Sheriff Barnes was going to keep their town safe, the least they could do was put a roof over his head. Before long, their new lives were laid out before them.

He and his wife would still read the news from L.A. on a daily basis, but they had settled nicely into this life. Debbie and her younger brother Brian, both attended the schools in Pineville, and racked up good grades on every report card. While Diana had taken a job as a middle school teacher in Pineville.

Clarence shared the Sheriff’s Station with his two deputies: Craig Marx and Tom Oswalt. Deputy Marx had come from a military background, and was a young man who took his post very seriously.

 Meanwhile, Deputy Oswalt was a local kid whose family had lived in Hillbrook for four generations. Oswalt had an easy way about him, and would spend most of his day at the station monitoring the radio. Barnes had figured that, if he were ever in a firefight, he’s rather have two Deputy Marxes with him. But since this was Hillbrook, he felt comfortable enough with the mild-mannered, if sometime lazy, Deputy Oswalt.

Sheriff Barnes began this day, as he did all his others, at 6 AM sharp. The alarm clock beeped, so he rolled out of bed and into the shower. By the time he was finished with his morning grooming routine Diana would be awake and preparing breakfast for Clarence and the kids.

Breakfast and dinner were the only times of the day that the entire family was able to sit together, and so they always used these opportunities to catch up.  Debbie’s twelfth birthday was coming up soon, and she had invited many of her friends over for it.

“So how many are we expecting on Saturday?” Barnes asked his daughter.

“All of them,” Debbie smiled slyly.

“That sounds like an awful lot,” Barnes smiled back.

“I think it’s going to end up being fifteen in all, hon,” Diana chimed in. “Does that sound right?”

“I guess so,” Debbie replied.

“What time is this shindig set to start?” Barnes asked.

“I wrote noon on the invitations,” his wife answered.

“Is there gonna be cake?” Brian chirped.

“Well, is there?” The sheriff asked his daughter with a sideways grin.

“There’d better be,” Debbie playfully warned.

“There will be,” said Diana, as she leaned over to her son. “A big, ice cream cake.”

“Yes!” Brian yelled with a fist pump.

“I ought to get on my beat,” Barnes said, as he checked his watch. “And you ought to get to school.”

“Boo!” Debbie said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yah, boo!” Brian followed his sister’s lead, as he often did.

“Yeah, yeah,” the sheriff chuckled before standing up and kissing both of his children on the forehead.

“Book club tonight?” he asked as he leaned in to kiss his wife.

“Every Wednesday and Friday,” she replied.

“And today is Friday, isn’t it?” Barnes said with a smirk. “Now that I think about it, I have some paperwork to catch up on at the office tonight,” he finished

“Why is it that you always have paperwork to catch up on Wednesdays and Fridays?” Diana asked with a grin as she kissed her husband.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Answered Barnes. “But at least you have your book club friends to keep you company on those evenings.”

“What luck,” Diana smiled.

“Alright, love you all,” the sheriff said as he pulled on his coat. “Have a good day.”

“You too, daddy,” Debbie and Brian called.

“Love you, baby,” Diana added, as Clarence put his hat on and walked out the door.

Sheriff Barnes’ first stop was always the Sheriff’s Station, where he unlocked the door and checked his phone for messages. There never were any, as all the townspeople knew his home phone number and would call him there if they needed him during the night.

In the years that he had lived in Hillbrook, Barnes figured he could count the number of night calls he’d gotten on his fingers. And half of those had come from Cassidy Wells, a troubled young woman whose home he would sometimes visit when neighbors called in domestic disturbances.

Cassidy had a very volatile relationship with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, an ex-convict who lived in Pineville named Jake Campbell. Barnes would arrive with one of his deputies in tow and ask Jake to leave. They would always get some tough backtalk, but only ever had to put the man in lock-up on two occasions.

On this March morning there were no messages, as usual, so Barnes logged onto the office computer and catch up with the news of the world. A few minutes before eight, Deputy Oswalt arrived at the stationhouse. He and Deputy Marx would alternate morning and evening shifts on a week-by-week basis.

“Good morning, sheriff,” Oswalt offered.

“Morning, Tom,” Barnes replied as he stood up from his desk. 

“Warm out there today,” Oswalt said.

“Tell that to the snow piles sitting at the curbs.”

“I would if I thought they’d listen.”

“How’s Nancy?” Barnes asked about Oswalt’s girlfriend.

“Restless.”

“Then spring must be in the air.”

“She’s going on about moving back to Seattle again.”

Nancy had grown up in Seattle, and liked to visit some friends there every few months.

“And why are you so opposed to the idea?” Barnes asked.

“I’m not opposed to the idea,” Oswalt replied, and hung his coat on the rack next to the front desk. “But every time I ask about openings on Seattle PD they give me a brush-off.”

“What about working some sort of security job in the area?”

“I suppose I could go that route,” Oswalt said unconvincingly. “But this is my home.”

“Any chance of Nancy moving there without you?”

“I don’t want to think about that. But sometimes the thought creeps in anyway.”

Sheriff Barnes walked up to his deputy and put his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying home is where the heart is,” Barnes began. “But some people believe that the heart is your home.”

“Not sure I follow, sheriff.”

“Think about it,” Barnes said as he started towards the door. “I’m off to do my morning rounds.”

The sheriff walked out the door as Oswalt sat at the front desk, still contemplating his words.

Piles of snow leaned against the curb, but both the sidewalk and the street were clear. Barnes took a deep breath and realized that Oswalt was right about it being unseasonably warm. He turned to start his walk towards the center of town when he spotted a man walking in from the highway.

The man looked to be about the same age as Barnes, but his face was pale and obscured by a week’s worth of scruff and dark hair that hung down to his eyes. He carried a long, military-style duffle bag over his shoulder and offered the sheriff a polite nod as he passed by on the other side of the street.

Clarence Barnes was not a paranoid man, but any person who would actually walk into an out-of-the-way town like Hillbrook merited further consideration. He watched the man walk into the diner, before shifting his focus back onto his normal routine.

His first stop after the station was always Jay’s Auto Shop, and then he’d work his way north on Main Street. As Barnes began walking towards the auto shop, he noticed an unfamiliar white van sitting in the garage. This meant there were two new people in town this morning and, while the sheriff wasn’t concerned yet, he decided to make introductions his first priority.

     HILLBROOK I:

URIEL

For as long as he could remember, Uriel had not gotten a full night’s sleep. As it turned out, the earliest memories that he had were from little more than a year ago. So, as far as he knew, this was a fairly recent development.

It had been just before dawn that Uriel had awoken in an empty loft in Queens, NY. When he put his hand to his aching head, he felt blood running down from just below his hair line. He sat up and, as his blurred vision cleared, he saw a web of cracks radiating outwardly from a small hole in one of the windows. As he got to his knees, he saw the girl across the room from him.

She was on her back under the broken window, and she was lying in a pool of blood. He crawled over to her and found that one side of her neck was torn open. It was from this wound that the blood flowed. He leaned over her and placed his ear to her mouth to listen for breathing. The breaths he heard were shallow and slight, but enough for him to take off his shirt and use it to press down on the wound.

He frantically began looking around the loft for a phone. As he was looking back towards the side of the room where he had woken up, the girl reached up and touched his cheek.

“Oh God!” he said to himself. “I’m going to get you help.”

“Uriel,” the girl gurgled. “I’m sorry.”

“Just stay still,” he instructed. “I need to find a phone.”

“We were so close,” the girl whispered. “So close.”

Her eyes turned from his face and settled on a far corner of the loft.

“Hey,” he said to the girl. “Hey!”

He lowered his ear to her mouth, but there were no more breaths. He then tried taking her pulse at her wrist, but felt nothing there either. It was as he sat back on the floor, a few feet away from the body, that he had a moment to collect his thoughts.

The problem was that he had no thoughts, or memories, from before he woke up in this loft. He checked his pockets, and even the girl’s, but found no ID’s for either of them. As he looked throughout the room he found no phone, no furniture, and no extra clothing other than a long black duster crumpled up on the floor near where he had been lying.

He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. The wound on his head appeared to be a deep gash that covered half of his face in blood. He turned on the faucet and washed the blood off of his hands and face, but his undershirt remained soaked in the girl’s blood.

“Who are you?” he asked of the stranger staring back at him. “Who is she? What are you doing here?”

He looked with pleading eyes, only to receive no response. She had called him Uriel, and the name

seemed somehow familiar to him. But no other answers were forthcoming.

Uriel decided that he would call the police from a payphone outside and wait for their arrival. On his way towards the door, he picked up the black duster and was shocked at what he found lying beneath it.

It was a sort of black harness that looked like it would be strapped to the back of its wearer. In the center of the harness, he saw a sword with a twenty -inch blade and a black handle. Towards the end of the sword blade, he saw two knives with curved, eight-inch blades. Their black handles were pointed in the opposite direction of the sword’s.

There were also two belts that looked too short to reach around the waist, and were more likely meant to be worn around the thighs. Each of these belts held four throwing knives.

Horror flooded his mind, as these objects also seemed familiar and yet alien to him. He instinctively dropped the duster when the thought stabbed at his mind that he may have killed the girl.

“No,” he said aloud to himself. “No, no, no!”

He looked again at the broken window and deduced that it looked like a bullet hole. He picked up the duster and took a closer look at the weapons. They all appeared to be clean, with no evidence of blood, which caused him to reconsider his guilt.

But he was still in an empty loft wearing blood-drenched clothing, with a dead girl, a cache of weapons, and absolutely no memory. He put the duster on, picked up the harness and knife belts, and turned to the girl’s body.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he walked out the door.

Uriel was relieved when he saw no one else in the hallway, and quickly made his way to the stairwell. He kept the harness and knives hidden under his coat as he walked to a payphone across the street. An anonymous call was made to 9-1-1 before he ran off into the night.   

He tossed the harness and weapons into a dumpster across town, and began looking for clean clothes. In-front of one apartment building’s stoop, he found three garbage bags with a Veterans Donation pamphlet taped to them.

Grabbing one of the bags, he ducked into an alley and changed out of his bloody clothes. He left the bag with the rest of the clothes behind, as he realized that he would have to hitchhike out of the city, and no one was likely to pick up a man carrying a garbage bag. He eventually procured a ride from a truck driver in Long Island City, who took him as far as Westchester. 

That night, he found a spot in a park to sleep in, and with that sleep came the nightmare. It begins in a darkened cathedral with a choir of angels singing words in childlike voices words that have no meaning to Uriel. A light begins to emanate from a crucifix in the dimness, and on the crucifix hangs the girl from the loft. The crucifix grows larger, and the light brighter as it floats closer to him, and finally settles on the ground an arm’s length away.

The girl brings her arms to her side, and then lowers her feet to the floor. As she settles before him, she reaches her hands out and touches his face. There

is comfort in the touch, and warmth, as she gently smiles and speaks to him.

 “We will be free,” she whispers. “We will be us.”

As Uriel returns the touch, the girl lowers her hands to his neck. As her fingers graze the skin by his throat, a wound opens on her neck. A stream of blood begins flowing from where her wound is. Yet the girl continues to smile at him. As he reaches out to her, his arms are bound to wooden planks by leather straps.

The girl continues to smile and bleed, as a man dressed in flowing white robes appears from behind Uriel. The man holds large nails and a mallet in his hands as he walks to Uriel’s side. Soon the man begins nailing Uriel’s wrists to the plank, and though there is blood, there is no pain. After the man in the flowing robes is finished, Uriel’s arms are pulled away from his body and it is he who is upon the crucifix.

 He looks to the girl for help, even as she turns effervescent and is blown away like smoke. The crucified Uriel is then lifted towards the ceiling of the cathedral as the childlike voices are transformed into deep, thundering chants. The crucifix breaks through the top of the cathedral, but the sky is black and starless.

Then fires burst forth from below Uriel, and the demons come. Their faces are grotesque masks, the hideousness of which cause Uriel to vomit forth his heart, lungs, and stomach. They open their gaping maws and, from behind the slobbering fangs, they emit howls that pierce Uriel’s ears.

The demons are soon upon the captive man, gnawing at his flesh. Fresh blood flows from Uriel’s

arms and pool in the palms of his hands. Winds begin to swirl around him, whipping the flames into a frenzy. The blood in Uriel’s hands begins to spin as well, and soon he holds knife-sized tornadoes of blood. The blood tornados spin faster, and grow larger with each passing moment. They soon engulf the demons and the flames, causing the demons to melt and howl in agony. Then the blood saturates and kills the flames, before ascending to the heavens. With a rain of blood falling upon him, Uriel smiles.

He is jolted awake each time the dream ends, but his heartbeat is steady. It is only when he thinks back onto the dream that his heart begins to pound in his chest. The dream comes to him almost every night.

A ravenous hunger ripped at his belly on the first morning, but with no money he was forced to steal from a nearby convenience store.

The first few weeks involved Uriel walking west, though he did not know why, stealing when he was hungry, and sleeping in places where he would not be found. He would be alone at all times, only interacting with other people when the situation demanded it. Eventually, after a month of not regaining any memories of himself or his life, he decided to relinquish his frustration and accept his lot.

The girl had called him Uriel, and so that was what he called himself. As he journeyed from town-to-town he would take odd jobs, as he tired of stealing. He was in exceptionally good physical shape, so manual labor came easily to him.

He would not stay for more than a few days in each town, and used his earnings only for food, motels, and sometimes clothing from thrift stores.

Several times he had tried to pass out from drinking in hopes that it would offer a peaceful slumber, but he could not escape the nightmare.

It was difficult for him to maintain conversations, as he felt unable to find any common ground with anyone. Despite this, he had a handsome face, and a calm, quiet demeanor. So, it was not especially difficult to find people willing to offer him menial work.

Time held no real meaning for Uriel, but he was aware of the fact that when he arrived in Pineville, Wyoming it was nearly a year to the day that he had woken up in that Queens loft. There was no work to be found there, and he had spent the majority of his money on the motel that night.

With a pocketful of change, he left the motel and continued his sojourn. The sun was still new to the sky when he left Pineville, so there weren’t many vehicles on the highway that he was walking down. By the time the traffic flow had picked up, he was already finding signs that told him of a town within walking distance.

When he entered Hillbrook, he could tell that there wasn’t going to be any work to be found here either. It also seemed like the kind of place where any outsiders would be very warily received. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw the town sheriff standing across the street from him, watching him like a hawk. Wanting to avoid any trouble, Uriel nodded politely and continued towards the center of town.

He came upon a diner, and decided to get some food before looking around for a ride out of town.

 The diner was shaped like a train car and had booths lining the street-facing windows. When he walked in, there were a few locals sitting in the booths near the door, and so he walked to the far end of the diner and sat three booths away from the next nearest patrons. He began flipping through the menu, searching for the cheapest items.

He counted only one waitress and a fry cook working, the former coming towards his booth from behind the counter. She was in her mid-twenties, and wearing a pair of blue jeans, a pink shirt with white piping, and a white apron. Her name tag, pinned over her left breast pocket, read Lisa.She tied her long black hair into a ponytail before she took her small notepad out of her apron pocket.

“Good morning, sir,” the waitress greeted him.

“Good morning,” he replied.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” she continued.

“I’m just passing through,” he said.

“Well, what can I get you before you pass through?” She asked with a smile.

“Um, toast please,” he responded. “And some water and coffee.”

“Light eater?” She asked.

“Something like that,” he replied as he reached into his coat pocket and felt only three dollars plus a random assortment of coins.

“Right,” said the waitress as she walked back behind the counter and gave the fry cook the order.

While he waited for his food, Uriel looked out the window and down the street. People were opening up their shops, and cars were driving out of town. It occurred to him that he had mistimed his

arrival, and would now have a hard time finding a ride.

After a few minutes longer, he saw the sheriff walking across the street.

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she slid a plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast towards him.

“Uh, this isn’t my order,” he told her.

“Your order wasn’t much of an order,” the waitress replied. “So, I spruced it up.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough to pay for all this,” he said.

“It’s on me,” she said. “Call it a Passer-Through Special.”

“You’re very kind,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“I’m Lisa,” she extended her hand.

“Uriel,” he replied as he took her hand.

“That’s an unusual name,” she said as she sat in the booth across from him.

“I guess,” Uriel said, slightly startled by her casual familiarity.

“Is it a family name?”

“Could be.”

“You’re pretty non-committal, aren’t you?”

“I suppose,” he said, and was met by a single raised eyebrow. “I mean yes, I am.”

“So where are you from?” She continued.

Uriel stretched his neck to look past her at the other diner customers.

“Don’t worry about them,” Lisa said. “They’re fine.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You were telling me where you were from.”

“Around.”

“I’ve been to Around,” Lisa stated. “Good public school system.”

A chuckle escaped from Uriel, it was the first genuine laugh he could remember.

“Listen Lisa, I feel bad about eating this without paying.”

“You haven’t eaten it yet.”

“But I will.”

“Just as soon as I leave, right?”

“Probably,” his answer was met with another raised eyebrow. “I mean yes, I will.”

He looked out the window and saw the sheriff approaching the door.

“Is there anything I can do here to earn it?”

“We used to have a dishwasher, but yesterday he quit, and left town,” she replied. “Real drama queen that guy was.”

“I can wash dishes,” Uriel stated.

“I should hope so,” she craned her neck towards the fry cook. “Hey Gene, this guy wants to be our new dishwasher. That cool?”

“I don’t give a shit!” Gene called back as he continued preparing food.

“Gene says it’s okay,” Lisa said to Uriel.

“Thank you, sir,” Uriel called to Gene.

“Whatever,” Gene replied.

“So, I guess we’re colleagues now,” Lisa said with a smile, as Sheriff Barnes walked up behind her.

“Hey Lisa,” Barnes said.

“Good morning, sheriff,” Lisa said as she turned towards him. “Getcha a coffee?”

“Please,” Barnes replied.

“We’ll talk more later,” Lisa said to Uriel, before she walked over to the counter once again.

“Sheriff Clarence Barnes,” he said as he extended his hand.

“Uriel,” he replied as he took Barnes’ hand and started to rise.

“No need to get up,” Barnes said. “Mind if I join you?”

With his free hand, Uriel gestured to the seat across from him, and Sheriff Barnes took the seat.

Lisa returned with the sheriff’s coffee as he took off his hat and laid it on the seat next to him.

“Here ya go,” Lisa said as she set it in-front of him.

“Thank you, Lisa,” Barnes replied as Lisa remained standing next to them. “Thank you, Lisa.”

Lisa rolled her eyes, and then went back to the counter where she began flipping through a magazine.

“First off, welcome to Hillbrook.” Barnes began, as Uriel took the first bite of his breakfast.

“Thank you.”

“Secondly, what’s your business in Hillbrook?”

“No business, sheriff,” Uriel started. “I’m just passing through.”

“On your way to where, exactly?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

“Just drifting by?”

“I suppose.”

“Which makes you a drifter.”

“I suppose.”

“Listen Uriel, this is a nice little town,” Barnes said. “And I don’t like trouble in my nice little town.”

“I don’t like trouble in-general, sheriff,” Uriel replied. “Which is why I try to avoid it.”

“And you’ve been pretty good at that?”

“So far.”

“Then let’s keep it that way.”

“Not a problem.”

“Good,” Barnes took a sip of his coffee. “Anytime you need a ride out of town, I’d be happy to oblige.”

“I might take you up on that offer.”

“Then we understand each other, Uriel?”

“We do.”

“Good,” Barnes stood up and took his coffee to the counter. “Lisa, can I please get this in a to-go cup?”

“Of course you can,” Lisa said as she poured it into a styrofoam cup.

“Thanks,” he said as he picked up the cup. “You all read up for book club tonight?”

“I watched the movie.”

“That’s cheating.”

“I know,” Lisa smiled. “Don’t tell Diana.”

“My lips are sealed,” Barnes smiled back. “Have a good one, Gene.”

“Whatever,” Gene called back.

Barnes took another look at Uriel and then took his leave. Lisa then walked back over, and leaned down onto Uriel’s booth.

“Don’t worry about him,” she said. “He’s playing a hard-ass, but he’s a big puppy dog inside.”

“He was just doing his job,” Uriel said as he took another bite. “Keeping his town safe. I respect that.”

“Then I will respect your right to eat in peace,” she said as she straightened up and turned back towards the counter.”

“Lisa,” Uriel said, stopping her. “Thanks again.”

Lisa winked at him, then went back behind the counter, and began scrolling through her phone, as Uriel continued eating his breakfast.

Orphans is available for buying or borrowing now on Amazon and for Amazon Kindle.

Avengers: Endgame – Closing The Circle

Talk about a cliffhanger. I posted a spoilers and speculation blog about Avengers: Infinity War way back in 2018, shortly before I took an unplanned three year break from blogging, and never followed it up. That’s like a Star Wars Original & Prequel Trilogy style gap.

But I still didn’t want to leave anyone, including myself, hanging. So, I’m writing this piece to close my own circle with some general thoughts about Avengers: Endgame, and what’s come in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since then. I made some predictions in that blog, and I’m happy to say that I was more right than wrong in my predictions.

Loki and Heimdall definitely died “for real” even though Loki is getting his own time travel-ly series out of it. All victim of The Snap returned, though that wasn’t exactly a long shot. I was right to assume Hawkeye wasn’t snapped, and that the original Avengers squad all survived for a reason – I was also right about the reason being to give them a proper curtain call. Doctor Strange’s apology to Tony Stark did end up being because Tony had to sacrifice his life to save the universe.

Steve Rogers bowed out with a happier ending than I’d suspected. Bucky Barnes likely isn’t the one carrying the Captain America shield forward, so I was wrong about that part. But he, and Sam Wilson, are working together to fill the void, so I was right about the group effort part. Black Widow died, but still has a solo movie coming out (some day) so I was about 50/50 on that projection. Thor is getting a fourth movie, as expected, and they’re keeping Hulk in their back pocket, likely to drop by on the She Hulk series.

As for the movie itself: I loved Avengers: Endgame, and I think the last hour or so of it is the most rewatchable MCU movie out there. The time travel trip down memory lane worked way better than it had any right to. Just the fact that they introduced time travel out of nowhere, and made it work, is a small miracle. Though my faith never really waivered in Kevin Feige and the MCU brain trust.

The Star Wars crew couldn’t even properly wrap up a trilogy with the disastrous Rise Of Skywalker. Meanwhile, Marvel capped out a 20+ movie arc in the most entertaining and satisfying manner possible. Both of these are under Disney’s banner now, but you can see a stark difference in the way they’ve been handled.

I think Marvel has had a looser leash, which worked out for them Meanwhile, they course-corrected Star Wars on-the-fly, likely with a Bible full of studio notes, which ended up being a problem. But, if The Mandalorian is a sign of things to come, and it appears that it is, then Star Wars may soon be rising to Marvel’s standards. Imagine saying THAT twenty years ago.

Now, for how things are looking in a Post Infinity Saga universe.

Spider-Man: Far From Home was the only post-Endgame MCU release so far, even though Black Widow was scheduled to drop a year ago, before the pandemic effed up everyone’s lives for most of the past twelve months. Far From Home was a lot of fun, and a good demonstration of how well Marvel Studios can get themselves back into the flow of smaller, non-universe destroying crossover films. It was very encouraging.

No one has seen Black Widow yet, as I noted above. But I’ll definitely check it out when – and where – I can.

WandaVision is really interesting. I’ll probably post a review of it once the season concludes, since I don’t want to fully judge it without having seen the entire run. It’s pulled the rug out from under the viewers several times already, so I’ll gather up my thoughts about it when standing on more solid ground.

The Falcon & The Winter Solider is coming later this month, and I’m very much looking forward to more of the love-hate-buddy-cop action that those two characters have only been able to hint at up to this point. I’ll probably write that review up after the season (series?) concludes as well.

Loki is up after that in May. Lots of timey-wimey stuff going on there, starting with Loki being not-dead in the first place. But the character is always fun, and time travel worked out nicely in Endgame, so let it ride!

She-Hulk, Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Ironheart, and Secret Invasion have all been announced as Disney+ series, and some interesting casting news has come out already. But, it’s also far too early for me to have any real insights.

I’ll judge The Eternals when I know more about it, but I’m not familiar with the title at all, so I won’t make any assumptions yet. But I did watch Nomadland, which was also directed by recent Golden Globe Winner Chloe Zhao. I didn’t exactly know how to feel about the point-of-view in Nomadland, which I think was the point. It was a beautiful-looking film though, that’s for certain, so that’s hooked my interest in Eternals.

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness is next up. It’s being directed by Sam Raimi, which sounds incredible. All we know so far is the title and director. But I’m loving the title and the director. It’s still in the early stages of shooting, but I’m fully on-board already. I can’t wait to further examine the mystical corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (Or, Marvel Cinematic Multiverse, I suppose). I really enjoyed the back-half of Doctor Strange’s solo movie, and loved his few scenes in Thor: Ragnarok. Picking up where those left off seems pretty awesome to me.

Spider-Man: No Way Home appears set to tackle the multiverse as well, which should be fun. Into The Spider-Verse may have already done this about as well as you possibly can. But the MCU has the bonus draw of bringing in actors and characters from the previous iterations of the Spider-Man film franchise. If nothing else, that should be good to pop the crowd a few times.

Thor: Love & Thunder is deep into shooting, with Taika Waititi again at the helm. Much like Doctor Strange’s new movie, the title and director are more-than-enough to get me into a theater. Plus, Thor: Ragnarok was probably the most fun MCU movie to date, so I’m all-in for more of that vibe.

Captain Marvel 2 and Black Panther 2 are also on-deck. But the former has just started casting, and the latter is trying to figure out how best to address the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman. Either way, it’s far too early to make any assumptions about either.

I’m happy to finally put a bow on my Infinity War cliffhanger, and can’t wait to share my thoughts about all the interesting stuff that’s coming up in the future.

10 For The Playlist – Volume 1

To preface: I am not a music critic. I don’t have a degree in Musicology, I can’t play any instruments, and frankly I can’t even sing unless I’m drunk in a private Karaoke room or all alone in my car.

But I like music. I’ve come across a lot of tunes that – from what I can tell – never received Top 40 level radio airplay. But I love these songs, and feel lucky to have come across them one way or another. Maybe it was in a movie or TV soundtrack. Maybe it was in a commercial. Maybe in a bar or a store. Or, maybe I just lucked out on Amazon Music or Spotify. At any rate, I’d like to share them with other people. Maybe this will help more people discover these songs, even if the artists may already well-known.

I’m thinking of doing one of these once a month, but that’s more of a notion than a plan. I may do them a little more frequently, or a little less. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll try to limit one song per artist on each list, but I expect there will be many recurring artists as this blog goes along. So, without further adieu, here is my first list of songs.

Starlight – Ingrid Michaelson – It starts like a lullaby, and plays like one for the first couple minutes. Ultimately, though, this is a song about having to be away from the people you love. But that the love you have for them never fades, because it burns a brightly as starlight. This one always gets me a bit misty, and it makes me think of my two boys more than anything else. The song closes with a lovely, cathartic release, which I’ll never not enjoy.

Favorite Lyric – “I can’t promise you the moon / I can’t even promise that I will be home soon / Just leave the light on / Like you do / ‘Cause you know I’m always coming home to you”

Lonely Town – Brandon Flowers – 100% pure glossy ’80’s pop, even though it was released in the 2015. It gives me flashbacks, the good kind, of being a kid growing up in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. Sounds like sweet sugar tastes, only with a slight undertone of regret.

Favorite Lyric – “Spinning like the Gravitron when I was just a kid / I always that things would change / But they never did”

Calling It Love – Animotion – The sort of song that “Lonely Town” clearly modeled itself after. Pretty much everyone has heard “Obsession” and “Don’t You Want me” but I honestly thing this song is superior to either of them. It’s simply (or complicatedly) about being in a relationship that has run its course, but you don’t really know how to end it, or even if you honestly want to. This one has the synth backdrop that was everywhere at the time, but also a pretty ripping guitar solo in the middle. And it gives lead singer Astrid Plane the chance to sing like she’s finally releasing everything pent up inside her from the band’s two big hits.

Favorite Lyric – “I’ve been spending my life / Thinking you’re the one / Now I’m holding my lies / And the damage is done”

Wings – Birdy – This one comes in strong, and has no hesitation about rolling out the melodramatic string section at every opportunity. It’s tinged with a bit of longing, but ultimately soars with the power and hope that came effortlessly when you were younger. But, when I fire this one up, I have no trouble getting back to that place again.

Favorite Lyrics – “Oh, damn these walls / In the moment we’re ten feet tall / And how you told me after it all / We’d remember tonight / For the rest of our lives”

Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young – Fire, Inc – One of two songs written for the soundtrack to the cult classic Streets Of Fire by Jim Steinman, who wrote every Meat Loaf song you know. He also wrote “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” for Celine Dion, and “Holding Out For A Hero” for Bonnie Tyler, both of which this song shares more DNA with. I’d honestly love to hear this performed with a full cast in a Broadway show, or even in a community theater. But hey, that’s how I imagine it every time it comes up anyway. Multiple choir sections sing different parts that are sprinkled through until the big finish, when they are combine to form an overlapping mega-choir.

Favorite Lyric – “Let the revels begin / Let the fire be started / We’re dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted”

Sunday – Bloc Party – A prayer for the poor, hungover souls of the world. Okay, that’s part of it, but it’s also about embracing the freedom you have in those morning-afters where you’re still in-love, sober and head-achy as you may be. The percussion drives the song along until the end of the journey, when you are treated to one bad- ass, soaring guitar solo by the underrated Russell Lissack that snaps you out of whatever trance you may have been lulled into.

Favorite Lyric – “You see giant proclamations / Are all very well / But our love / Is louder than words”

Munich – The Fray – These guys are mostly known for “Over My Head (Cable Car)” and “How To Save A Life” but they got a really solid catalogue otherwise. “Munich” captures that feeling when you’re maybe not ready to fall in love, but you’ve found someone who you can’t describe your feelings for with any other word. It then makes the synths sing like a choir of angelic robots telling you to let go, and let yourself fall.

Favorite Lyrics – “Step to the edge / You and I / Then we fall below / Take a breath / Hold my hand / And now you’re not alone”

Love Is Only A Feeling – The Darkness – I have no idea how The Darkness’ only crossover hit was “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” because these guys deliver all the hair metal goodness missing from the past 30 years on every album. “Love Is Only A Feeling” hits those power ballad vibes, not to mention those crazy high notes. They manage to mix the acoustic, mandolin-sounding strings, and wailing electric solos in a way that tells you “Damn right, it’s cheesy. But damn right, you want to dive into that pool full of melted nacho cheese.”

Favorite Lyric – “I had touched, I had tasted, and I truly believed / That the light of my love / Would tear a hole right through each cloud / That scudded by / Just to beam on you and I”

Something Special – Randy Newman – If you’ve seen the classic(?) 1987 rom-com Overboard starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, then you’ve heard this song playing over the end credits. But, in the event that you have heard it, but never sought it out, here it is. Randy Newman writing great little ditties is nothing new, but this one holds a special place for me. Yes, Overboard was on basic cable all the time when I was growing up, so I’m conditioned to respond to most anything involved in it (talk to me about “Can’t Help Falling In Love” sometime). But I’m always on-board for any song that sells the simple joys of a mismatched love affair.

Favorite Lyrics – “It’s alright / Baby, it’s okay / We’re gonna make it / No matter what they say / Sure as the stars shine in the sky above / There is something special about our love”

Sunset – The Midnight – Another new wave throwback that takes me in the way back machine to when I was a kid who’d never been anywhere outside the small suburb where I’d always been. Back then, I felt trapped, as many other kids have as well. And this song sounds like it would have been my manta if it came had been released in 1988 instead of 2016 (though I likely wouldn’t have been able to fully relate to it until the mid-90’s). It starts with a spoken word verse of a girl making an offer that I would have found very hard to decline in 1995.

Favorite Lyric – “They say it’s darkest before the dawn / We’ve been in this town for far too long / They say it’s darkest before the dawn / We’re moving on, we’re moving on, we’re moving on”

Superman Returns: The Biggest Missed Opportunity In Comic Book Movie History

I understand that the title of this post is quite lofty, but I do want to clarify one big thing regarding this statement before we begin. ‘Biggest Missed Opportunity’ is not the same as ‘Worst.’ In fact, in my own ranking of DC Movies Superman Returns landed right around the middle-of-the-pack. Also, strictly speaking, we’re not just talking about the film itself. Though that’s as good a place to start as any.

I do not hate Superman Returns, in fact I don’t really have any strong feelings about it at all. Which is part of the problem. I’ll actually start things off by discussing a few positives about the film. Brandon Routh & Kevin Spacey were both well-cast as Superman/Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. And, while Routh was a newcomer, and a pleasant surprise, Spacey’s name had been bandied about for Luthor probably dating back the 1994/95 after he scored big-time bad guy credentials with The Usual Suspects and Seven.

The film looks great, and is shot like a post-modernistic Norman Rockwell cityscape. Which works quite well for any Superman property. And there are two scenes I can think of that really captured some of what we want in a Superman movie. The first was the space shuttle rescue, where Superman made his first appearance since disappearing five years ago (in movie continuity). The other is at the start of the third act, when the earthquake triggered by Luthor’s master plan hits Metropolis, and the Man of Steel flies through the city saving lives, and stopping catastrophes.

The unfortunate thing is that there’s not much else in the movie that gets the blood pumping. By 2006 they had all the technology they needed to give Superman a worthy physical adversary. I mean, even the disastrous Superman IV: The Quest For Peace at least tried to show the audience a superfight with the Nuclear Man. The only thing that even remotely qualifies as a fight scene in Superman Returns is when a Kryptonite-weakened Superman get kicked around by Luthor and his generic goon squad.

There were some major story problems as well; some stemming from Bryan Singer wanting to make a direct sequel to Superman II. The Super Amnesia Kiss was pretty indefensible in 1980, and was only made worse 15 (actual) years later when we learned this resulted in the birth of a child. The super son story also never moved the needle for me, in and of itself.

It was very lazy to make Lex Luthor’s grand scheme a simple remix of his scheme from Superman: The Movie. Property Fetishist Lex Luthor is pretty far from the most interesting Luthor you can give us. While we’re talking about character problems, I had a big one with Superman himself.

Leaving Earth unprotected for 5 years to go see the remains of Krypton is not something I could ever imagine Superman doing. Especially since this was, once again, a direct sequel to Superman II, where three other supervillains basically conquered the Earth while Superman was hanging out in his Fortress of Solitude with his girlfriend for a week.

While on the subject of Lois Lane, I should mention that I feel it was a bad call to cast fairly blank slate Kate Bosworth in the role, especially when Kristen Bell had been out there doing a fantastic Lois for a few years already with Veronica Mars. I don’t think Bell would have saved the movie, but I feel she could have at least gotten me invested in the Superman – Lois relationship.

Again, a lot of these problems come from Singer’s irrational desire to make a sequel to a 15 year-old movie. They cast young for Superman and Lois, so why not just make this a full reboot? The smarter move would have been to essentially make Man Of Steel 7 years earlier. I have some issues that that film as well, but I feel like the instincts were right at least. Hell, they even could have used General Zod, so Singer – or whomever else they would have gotten to make the movie – could have paid homage to the old films.

But all of these issues really just resulted in a thoroughly mediocre movie. To understand the reason why I call this the biggest missed opportunity in comic book movie history, we need to look at this film’s place in history itself.

Superman as a franchise was killed in 1987 by the cheaply-made, and altogether terrible Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. Two years later Batman staked his claim as the go-to cash cow of comic book intellectual properties. It had a pair of highly successful, and fairly well-received, sequels in 1992 and 1995. But then Batman & Robin subsequently cratered out superhero movies as a whole in 1997.

One might call 1997 rock bottom for superhero movies, but it actually triggered something significantly more interesting. That something would be a full reevaluation of how to make a superhero movie. This would lead to absolutely huge things a few years later, but it all started pretty small.

In 1998, Blade showed Hollywood how to make comic book characters more appealing to a wider audience. And it did so without having to break the budget bank. It brought a darker, and more adult approach to the material.

In 2000, X-Men took that template, built it out, and gave the people an adaptation that they’d been waiting decades for. It kept the dark tones, and dark wardrobes (for better or worse). But X-Men ironed out the subject matter to bring it down from an R rating to PG-13, which opened the door for these movies to become bonafide blockbusters. I’d be remiss to not mention that Bryan Singer directed this as well, and it no doubt put him on Warner Bros’ radar.

In 2002, Spider-Man literally brightened things up, by not shying away from red and blue spandex. It smashed box office records, and is well-reviewed by critics and audiences across-the-board. This truly was the closest thing we’d ever seen to a comic book brought to live action.

In 2003 and 2004, X2: X-Men United and Spider-Man 2 show sustainability, and improvement over their respectivce predecessors. At this point, more comic book movies start hitting theaters to varying results. But, suffice to say, the revolution had begun in-earnest. I’ll note that Singer was pretty much hired directly off X2, and onto WB’s first Superman project in nearly 20 years.

In 2005, Batman Begins got DC back in the game in a big way. Blade, X-Men, Spider-Man, and even some less stellar outings such as Fantastic Four, and Ang Lee’s Hulk were Marvel properties. WB decided to hold off on jumping back into the fray until they had what they believed to be a home run. This young Batman origin story was incredibly well reviewed, and was also a box office beast. Warner Bros and DC now had a fully blank slate to carve out their new movie legacy.

This brings us to 2006. Superman Returns comes out one year after Batman Begins, and cast a young actor as Superman. This was the golden ticket, the lost city of El Dorado, the chance to set a new course for the future of filmmaking, and a shared universe 3 years before Marvel would even start planting those seeds. The two most recognizable superheroes on the planet could finally share a movie screen together, and break fandom wide open.

Here’s the thing, WB/DC didn’t even have the same obstacles that Marvel Studios did. Warner Media owned the film rights to every single DC character. Unlike Marvel who had sold the film rights for their most popular characters: Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four.

And with the WB Studio backing them, they didn’t even have to take the same sort of massive financial gamble that Marvel did to bankroll Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk in 2008. They could have easily given us the first ever truly shared cinematic universe filled with some of the most popular characters in pop culture history.

Instead, they made a sequel to a 15 year-old movie, and made no attempt to tie it to any other characters. Not even a wink, or a shout-out. The first time we saw multiple Marvel heroes together on-screen was Iron Man, War Machine, and Black Widow in Iron Man 2 in 2010. But, we could have seen Superman and Batman together on-film before then. And it wouldn’t have been too hard to roll out Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and any other character they so pleased before the Avengers ever assembled in 2012.

This was most likely due to a lack of foresight, or even straight-up creativity, by the suits running WB. But, had a filmmaker come to them with a stronger pitch to start working toward a universe shared by Superman, Batman, and countless other superheroes and supervillains, then maybe he or she could have opened some minds.

2008 brought us The Dark Knight, which is a great movie. But it’s not like we couldn’t have had that, along with a Superman / Batman movie in 2007 or 2009. Don’t get me wrong, I love the MCU. And, regardless of what WB/DC did, I would not want to see Disney and Marvel do anything different with their shared universe. I’m not looking for a replacement, I’m just looking for more of a good thing.

It was 2016 before we ever saw Batman and Superman in a live action movie together. If Superman Returns is my choice for biggest missed opportunity in comic book movie history, Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice is my choice for most disappointing film in comic book movie history.

Warner Bros and DC seem to have found their groove a bit more with recent releases like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and SHAZAM after a rocky period stemming from the fallout of BvS. I’m personally hoping they can stay the course this time, and finally give us the connected DC movie universe (or multiverse, I suppose) that we’ve been waiting nearly 20 years for. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop wondering what it could have looked like if they’d taken that big swing when they had their first shot at glory.

Go To War For ‘Warrior’

“It’s Deadwood, but with Kung Fu!”
I’d bet dollars-to-donuts that was the elevator pitch for the Cinemax (now HBO Max) series ‘Warrior.’ And, if that’s enough to get you to watch it, then my work here is done. But if you need more reasons, then I’ll do my best to provide them below.
I’ll state this right off-the-bat, I’ll be going into some spoilers, but nothing that should affect your enjoyment of – or investment in – the show.

Here’s the jumping off point: Ah Sahm arrives in 1870’s San Francisco from China. When confronted with some racist dickweeds, he promptly whoops their asses with ease. This puts a damper on his plans to take a job as a “coolie” – a derogatory term for an unskilled laborer – building railroad tracks.

Fortunately for him, Wang Chao pulls him away from the ruckus with a seemingly better deal. Chao is that character you find in these types of stories who knows everyone, plays every side, and always has an exit plan in his back pocket. His exit plan for Ah Sahm, less fortunately for him, involves selling the man to the Hop Wei to serve as a “hatchet man” or enforcer.

The Hop Wei is a Tong, essentially a Chinese crime family, who are currently in the midst of navigating their way around two other Tongs in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Father Jun is the hard-ass head of the family. But his son, Young Jun, takes an immediate liking to Ah Sahm when he finds out just how well he can “Scrap.” Scrapping is fighting and, yes, some of the vernacular of the period gets a bit overplayed (especially another one that I’ll get to shortly). But that’s just a small complaint.

Young Jun is a bit restless, and has a tough time keeping his thoughts about maybe being more fit to run the Hop Wei than his father is to himself. At any rate, he promptly takes Ah Sahm to the local hot spot (i.e brothel) run by Ah Toy. At the brothel is where we learn one more, very colorful term that you’ll hear a lot – “getting sticky.” Considering where they are when you hear this euphemism, you can likely figure out what it means. Ah Sahm bonds pretty quickly with Ah Toy, who has a very cool after-hours hobby of her own that I won’t spoil here. But she earns Ah Sahm’s trust enough to learn the reason why he came to Chinatown: To find his sister.

It doesn’t take long for his to find his sister in the last place he’d expect. She’s (unofficially) running one of the other Tongs: The Long Zii. Mai Ling fled to America years before to escape an arranged marriage to an abusive warlord. A marriage she was forced into to save Ah Sahm’s life, which she is absolutely nurturing a big-time grudge over. But she’s also planning to take down the Hop Wei using group of people who might as well be gangsters: The politicians.

Mai Ling has secret meetings with Walter Buckley, who is running his own schemes alongside the fairly incompetent Mayor Samuel Blake. Blake is married to Penny, in an arrangement not unlike Mai Ling’s. Penny’s formerly wealthy father’s business has been free-falling, so she volunteered to marry the mayor in order to get a city contract to pump back up her father’s financials. The wheelings and dealings of city officials, and broke businessmen bring us back around to cheap labor, and coolies. Which, in-turn, bring us to the truest villains of the story.

The Irish laborers have fallen on hard times, and are not helped by the fact that the Chinese are willing to work for a lot less money. Coupled with the fact that the manufacturers are more-then-willing to pay as little as possible, makes for a lethal combination. There is a level of vicious racism on display here that, up until recent years, we were happy to pretend no longer existed in this country. The silver lining is that we get to watch these guys get kicked in the face pretty regularly by Ah Sahm, and others.

The exception to this is the character meant to singularly represent all this heinous bigotry, and “patriotic” fury: Dylan Leary. Leary is an undefeated bare-knuckles boxer in his spare time, though most of his free time is spent riling up anyone without earshot about the Chinese “parasites” who don’t belong in this country, and are stealing their livelihoods. This line of bullshit probably sounds all-too familiar these days, as people like Leary still exist today, and will never stop sounding the drums of a race war.

Putting the least amount of effort possible into preventing this race war, the city creates a Chinatown Squad that consists of all of five cops. Only two of these cops really matter to the story. The first is Sgt. “Big Bill” O’Hara, who’s seen more than his share of Chinatown vices. Most of which comes from his own gambling addiction that puts him in the crosshairs of the Fung Hai Tong. O’Hara is your classic used-to-be-a-good-cop who will eventually find his way into trying-to-be-a-good-cop-again territory thanks to the other pertinent member of the Chinatown Squad: Officer Richard Lee.

Officer Lee is a transplant from the south, who made his way so far from home for reasons that are addressed near the end of season 1. He’s a good deal more open-minded than pretty much any other white character on the show, besides Penny, which is a bit of a twist considering his geographic origins. He also dabbles in some shockingly modern crime scene investigation techniques. If there was one character besides Ah Sahm who could support their own show, it would probably be Lee.

Ironically, Lee was likely given his name as an homage to the man who wrote the actual original pitch for the show: Bruce Lee. ‘Warrior’ was something he tried to get off the ground back in the early-70’s, but it never happened. I expect this was due to America not being ready for a TV show with a predominantly Asian cast at the time, and Lee’s own tragic, untimely death. But his daughter Shannon Lee is a producer, and she’s brought along the creative team from another Cinemax show that featured weekly ass-beatings: ‘Banshee’

Which bring us full circle back to the Kung Fu. If that long list of characters and their relationships to one another seems a bit dense, fear not, it’s all dished out in easily digestible segments between awesome scrapping, and getting sticky. The fight choreography is as good, if not better, than anything I’ve ever seen on TV, and they give you two or three of these fight scenes every episode. I mentioned Deadwood earlier, but the way the characters speak to one another is more akin to the lighter, snappier dialogue of Justified (itself a modern western).

The title of this blog post is Going to War For ‘Warrior.’ But really, the war in this case is just to sit back, fire up your HBO Max, and plow through the first two seasons that you find there. It was recently re-located from Cinemax, and not yet renewed for a third season. I expect they’re waiting to see how many eyeballs they can get on the show before decided whether or not to renew.

So do yourself a favor, and get your eyeballs on one of the most purely entertaining TV shows that I’ve watched in years.

The Mage: Book Three Of The Venator Series – Chapter One

Malcolm Woods was not used to working cases out in the field these days. He was a couple of birthdays past his sixtieth, and he knew very well that he was better suited to providing and modifying equipment for Venatores closer to their prime than he was. The problem, in this case, was that there was simply no one else available to take it on.

The life of a Venator had never been one that favored longevity, but the past year had been brutal even by typical standards. So much so, that Malcolm had begun to wonder if the current generation had simply been under-trained by his own due to a lack of Venatores living long enough to effectively prepare replacements.

If Malcolm was ill-suited for fighting monsters, then his partner on this case was essentially little more than bait on a stick.

Twenty years ago, Lawrence Kalvert was a wunderkind who cracked the best way to falsify records and supply Venatores with a nearly unlimited inventory of phony credit cards and identification credentials. While Malcolm had been out on the hunt for half his life, Lawrence had never personally encountered a supernatural entity in all of his forty-seven years.

Lawrence could barely fire a gun, and his blade skills were even worse. In some ways, Malcolm felt that he’d have been better off on this mission alone. But he understood the problematic mathematics of his current limitations: Slowed reflexes plus arthritic joints equaled a lousy combination for survival.

“This is nuts,” Lawrence exclaimed, as they loaded up on weapons from the trunk of the car. “Until tonight, the most dangerous thing I’ve done is hacking into bank systems. Now I’m out here in the freezing fricking cold looking to hack away at some monster that we don’t even have a clue about the nature of.”

“You and I may be a has-been and a never-was, but we’re all these folks have got,” Malcolm replied as he pulled on his wool cap and brushed some snowflakes out of his salt and pepper goatee (which was mostly salt these days).

“Listen, I know what the job description is,” Lawrence said as he pulled on his gloves, pushed his glasses back up the narrow bridge of his nose, loaded up his shotgun and slammed the trunk. “But no one’s gotten hurt here. So maybe this can wait until someone better suited becomes available.”

“We can’t just wait for bodies to start dropping,” answered Malcolm, as he placed a crucifix and a small copy of The Rites of Exorcism into the pockets of his wool coat. “And besides, from what it sounds like, this is about the safest case you’ll ever go on.”

Safe is a relative term in this life,” Lawrence stated, as he pulled on his own heavy knit cap.

“You’ll get no argument from me about that,” Malcolm agreed, as he started trudging through the snow toward the barn.

“How safe can it really be when we don’t even know what we’re hunting?” asked Lawrence, as he stumbled along in the footprints that his partner left behind him.

“The folks who live here reported strange lights and banging noises from the barn, which suggests a poltergeist,” Malcolm started. “Mrs. Hardeston also said that she saw her deceased husband wandering through the woods over there,” he pointed to the forested area two hundred yards from the barn.

“Which suggests zombies, I get it,” Lawrence jumped in. “But what about the scratching from under the floorboards at the house? And don’t tell me that’s the zombie, because Gene Hardeston was buried at the cemetery five miles west of here. No way he burrowed his way from there to here like Bugs Bunny heading toward Albuquerque.”

“The scratching could still just be the poltergeist. So could the presumed zombie for that matter. Spirits sometimes take the form of what’s weighing heavily on a witness’s mind.” Malcolm swung open the barn door to the moldy smell of damp hay that had been sitting out for too long. “And Bugs Bunny was never heading to Albuquerque, he just also took a wrong turn there on the way to…somewhere else.”

Some moonlight permeated from between the boards of the barn, but not nearly enough to get a read on the space. Malcolm and Lawrence took out their flashlights, and made a sweep. The bales of hay were mostly stacked on the second level, while the thresher – along with other machines and tools – was on the ground floor.

Confident that they were alone in the barn, Malcolm knelt on the ground and laid out a large red candle surrounded by a number of smaller white candles. He lit each candle in turn, and took his small book out of his pocket.

“Where the hell was Bugs Bunny heading to anyway?” Lawrence asked, needing to vent his shaking nerves through chit-chat.

“Damned if I know,” Malcolm replied, and began reading aloud from his book, “Restless spirits. We of the living world command you to reveal yourselves in the name of God.”

As he read on, the candles began to flicker.

“In the name of God, we command thee!”

When his voice grew louder, the walls began to rattle. Lightly at first, but soon more violently, filling the air with dust and debris.

Lawrence had loaded his shotgun with rock salt shells to deflect any attacks from a manifested spirit. He walked in circles around Malcolm and the ring of burning candles searching for a target.

“Sounds like someone’s awake,” Lawrence muttered to himself through chattering teeth.

“In the name of God, we command thee to reveal thyself!” Malcolm ordered.

Loose particles of the hay now rained down on the pair of Venatores, but there was no sign of the haunting spirit.

“Reveal…” Malcolm yelled, but stopped when he heard a loud moan come from behind him.

He turned and saw the undead corpse of Gene Hardeston snarling as he entered the barn flanked by four others. They were all dressed in dirt-caked formal wear, and appeared to be in advanced states of decay, with deteriorating flesh on their faces and milky white eyes.

Lawrence panicked and fired a rock-salt round at Hardeston’s face. It did not pop the skull as it would have with typical rounds, but blasted off the loose flesh around his right eye and cheek. The right eye itself burst and began leaking thick fluid. The zombie faltered slightly but, setting his now skull-faced gaze on the Venatores, regained his footing as he continued toward them.

“None of them are freshly turned,” Malcolm stated, as he rose and snapped his custom-made, pearl handled hatchet loose from his belt. “They’re already falling apart. Should be easy ones.”

Malcolm had to get close to use his hatchet, close enough to see the bottomless hunger in Hardeston’s dead-but-seeing left eye. A single swing of the weapon took off a sizable piece of the creature’s skull and brain, causing it to fall limply to the ground.

The other four converged on Malcolm, clawing and growling at him. The seasoned Venator kicked another zombie in the knee, causing its rotted leg to snap in-half. Once it was on the ground, one good stomp was enough to splatter its brains across the dirt floor of the barn.

In his rush to help, Lawrence laid his shotgun on the ground, drew out his pistol and fired at the ghouls.

The first bullet missed wide, ironically hitting the broad side of the barn, and the second was fired when he was a mere two feet away from Malcolm.

The re-animated corpse who took the bullet to the temple hit the ground, but Malcolm grasped at his left ear, which was ringing from the gunshot.

“Shit, I’m sorry man!” Lawrence shouted.

“Don’t apologize,” Malcolm shouted as he chopped a decaying hand off at the wrist that grabbed at his shirt. “Just get that last one.”

“But there’s two…” Lawrence began, just as Malcolm slammed his hatchet into the top of the now one-handed zombie.

“Right,” Lawrence said, and fired another round point blank into the temple of the last of the undead.

Lawrence holstered his weapon, and went to check on his partner. “Are you alright?”

“Ringing will stop in a couple hours,” Malcolm looked at the palm that was pressed against his ear with relief as he saw no blood, and knew that he hadn’t ruptured his eardrum.

“Guess it was zombies after all,” Lawrence remarked.

“Zombies don’t make walls rattle,” Malcolm replied, just in time for a pitchfork to fly across the barn and pierce through the back of his thigh.

Malcolm dropped to the floor with a cry of pain.

“Shit!” Lawrence shouted. He spotted his shotgun halfway across the barn.

He ran for it, but a rubber mallet came spinning through the air and hammered him between the shoulder blades. He rolled forward as he hit the cold, hard ground.  Seeing that the shotgun was within reach, he started crawling toward it when he heard the thresher turn on.

The vehicle with the spinning blades pulled away from the wall, and headed directly toward Malcolm. He yanked the pitchfork out of his leg, but couldn’t hear the thresher through the ringing in his head. When he saw Lawrence gesturing wildly toward the area behind him, Malcolm rolled onto his back and saw that the death machine was nearly upon him.

He pulled his legs away just in time to avoid having them sliced off at the ankles. In the same movement, he pulled a pistol loose from the back of his belt and fired several rounds into the engine of the thresher, stopping it dead with a plume of smoke that rose from it like a departing soul.

Relieved, Lawrence made another lunge toward his shotgun, but found himself hovering off the ground. The shotgun was inches from his fingertips, but soon those inches were filled with black smoke that took on the appearance of a demonic visage with burning red eyes and a vicious smile.

“No!” Lawrence screamed, as the black smoke wrapped around his body and twisted him like a man ringing out a wet towel.

As the wraith snapped the remnants of Lawrence’s spinal column with a horrific spiral motion, Malcolm got back to his feet, made a dive under the smoky entity, and got hold of the shotgun. He fired two rounds of rock-salt into the black cloud, causing it to disperse with a deep howl.

It only took one look at Lawrence’s face for Malcolm to know that he was dead. As the boards began rattling loose from the walls, Malcolm pulled out his exorcism book again and continued reading the expulsion spell.

“By the command of all that is holy, I command thee to leave this realm!”

As he started to read the next passage, three pairs of clawed hands with hard black skin burst out from the ground around him. The stench of mud and rot choked him, and he knew before he even saw the eyeless, nose-less faces, or the two rows of fanged teeth, that he was in the grasp of mordeos.

He fired his last few rounds into the ravenous fiends, but the one that he killed was replaced by two more. Malcolm Woods was still swinging at them with his hatchet when they began to rip his organs from his body and devour them.

Once he was dragged to his fate, with soil filling his mouth and muting his screams, the walls stopped rattling, and all was silent on this winter’s night.

 

Read the rest of The Mage – Now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon.com!

Showdown In Screamtown: The Challengers

With Halloween just around the corner, I’ve decided to dedicate a couple of blog posts to two of my favorite things: Horror Movies and Single Elimination Tournaments.

So, I’ve rounded up 16 of the greatest movie monsters of all-time, and decided to stick them in a series of one-on-one matches to determine who is the baddest of them all!

I’m calling this pay per view spectacular The Showdown In Screamtown.

In the instance of challengers with numerous incarnations throughout film history (Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, Zombie) I chose the versions who would be the most proficient in a straight-up fight.

I’m not that big of rules and regulations, so I’ll be playing pretty fast and loose with the matches themselves.

There were, however, some qualifying rules for entering the tournament. The most useful of these rules was placing   and weight limit on the combatants. Basically, if you can’t fit into a WWE-style wrestling ring, then you can’t compete. This rules out monsters like Cloverfield, Godzilla, King Kong, the Kraken, and any other kaiju. Sorry, big guys.

One other rule is that, since I want this to primarily be a hand-to-hand combat tourney, signature weapons are allowed except for firearms. In other words, Leatherface gets his chainsaw and Jason get a machete, but Terminator’s guns and Predator’s shoulder-mounted laser blaster are outlawed

The seeding was based on the first fights I’d be interested in seeing. I haven’t planned beyond Round One yet, so things will get pretty interesting pretty quickly.

From Round Two onward, the tournament will run according to Round Robin rules, with the highest remaining seeds taking on the lowest remaining seeds (1st seed vs 16th seed, 2nd seed vs 15th seed, etc).

With that in-mind, let’s meet our tremendously terrifying tournament titans:

1: Dracula (Bram Stoker’s Dracula – 1992)

Dracula is a no-brainer for the #1 seed here, as he’s been the inspiration for so many other monsters. I went with this version of Dracula because he showed a full arsenal of creeptastic powers, including control over night beasts like wolves and rats, mind control over people, de-aging himself, and the ability to transform himself into a big wolf-like thing and a big bat-like thing. Bonus points for the fact that he was still able to seduce Lucy while in wolf-like thing form, which takes mad skills.

2: The Wolfman (The Wolfman – 2010)

There are so many werewolves to choose from, but this one might be my favorite. He looks like a big bad wold ought to look, while still serving homage to the classic Lon Chaney Jr. wolfman. He can run on two legs or all fours, is strong as hell, fast as hell, and nasty as hell. You also have to give props for them getting Sir Anthony Hopkins and Benecio Del Toro to star in this film.

3: Frankenstein’s Monster (Classic Universal Film Series)

There were shockingly few semi-decent film incarnations of Frankenstein’s Monster (not to be confused the Frankenstein, the mad scientist who created him). But since this character probably inspired even more monsters than Dracula (a few even show up in this very tournament) he needed to be represented here. Several of the classic Universal monster films feature the Creature are great, though, so we’re rolling with old flat top here.

4: Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Film Series)

The only fully human competitor who made the cut (so to speak) Leatherface deserves a lot of credit as he’ll be repping the whole human race essentially (I’d still take him over Trump). He’s a whirling dervish of a killing machine who can chop you to bits, then slow cook those bits into some mean BBQ.

5: Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th Film Series)

To paraphrase DJ Khaled  “All he does is kill kill kill no matter what!” JayJay here is an early favorite for this type of challenge as he puts his SuperZombie skills on display in hopes of winning that championship belt! (Did I not mention there’s a championship belt? Cuz there is. There always is. And it’ll be pretty damn sweet).

6: The T-800 Model Terminator (The Terminator – 1984)

As mentioned earlier, the T-800 won’t have access to the plethora of guns he’s used through the course of five films (of varying quality), but don’t feel too sorry for him – he sure as shit won’t feel sorry for you when he tears your limbs off one at a time. He’s built from a highly durable steel alloy and was built exclusively to do what he’ll be doing here.

7: Predator (Predator Film Series)

The Big P was built for killing like the T-800, but he’s spent his entire life mastering the art of it. This guy might be looking forward to these fights more than any other combatant, as he loves nothing more than to test his skills against the most formidable of opponents. His shoulder-mounted laser blaster may be off-limits, but he’ll still be able to use his retractable wrist-blades and extendable spear.

8: Reagan Macneil (The Exorcist – 1973)

The little demon girl (literally, not figuratively) is less of a physical threat than most of the other challengers, but she’s spooky and running on devil diesel fuel. Her best gameplan might be to talk crazy smack until she gets into her opponent’s head and psyches then out into a making a mistake.

9: Pinhead (Hellraiser Film Series)

He’s iconic, so he had to make the list, but he’s really more into pleasure than pain – even if the specific pleasure is meant to be elicited from extreme, agonizing pain. But he’s all black leather and nails-in-the-face, so I expect he can hold his own in the ring.

10: Brundlefly (The Fly – 1986)

Mad scientist and monster all-in-one, so he’s got brains and brawn, Seth Brundle’s may have transformed himself into a horrifying and nauseating human-fly hybrid, but can he transform himself into a champion?

11: Alien Queen (Aliens – 1986)

Queenie just barely made our weight/size cut off, but she trimmed a few pounds and here she is! She royalty and the mother of horde of neigh-unstoppable apex predators, so she’s going to be a tough out for anyone,

12: The Thing (John Carpenter’s The Thing – 1982)

Thingie pushed right up against our size limit, as his final form is pretty massive, but we let him in. A master of deception who, when found out, can also bite your arms right off. This thing from another world has a chance to go deep in our tourney, but it all depends on what sort of shape he shows up in (cardio and otherwise).

13: Zombie (Return Of The Living Dead – 1985)

So many zombies to choose from, but we’re going with the ROTLD variety as they are the hardest to kill. Brain shots won’t stop them from munching on your brains. Hell, they had to nuke a whole town to stop them at the end of the movie. So he can take a beating for sure, the only question is whether he can deliver one.

14: Michael Myers (Halloween Film Series)

Michael could be interpreted as every bit as human as Leatherface, but he’s really running on some dark and unknowable evil drive. Six shots and a two-story fall didn’t finish him, so he’s a player. John Carpenter’s Halloween kicked off an entire sub-genre of slasher films – not unlike Romero’s zombies – but will that be enough to get his arm raised in victory?

15: Fred Krueger (Nightmare On Elm Street Film Series)

I’m going with “Fred” instead of “Freddy” because the character was a child murderer in life, and that disqualifies you from being on more familiar terms with me (JayJay only every killed teens, so I’m a little cooler with him). But Fred McMeltyFace has been haunting nightmares both on-screen and off for more than 30 years, so he’s primed and ready to get down and dirty.

16: Pennywise The Dancing Clown (IT – 2017)

A very recent addition to the pantheon of famous filmland monster, but a worthy one nonetheless. He does eat children, so he occupies the same pure heel position as Krueger, but the crowd always needs someone to boo! Still, he made one hell of an impression in one hell of a short period of time, so he’s coming in to Round One hot.

Round One Matches:

Dracula (1) vs Pennywise (16)

The Wolfman (2) vs Fred Krueger (15)

Frankenstein’s Monster (3) vs Michael Myers (14)

Leatherface (4) vs Zombie (13)

Jason Voorhees (5) vs The Thing (12)

The Terminator (6) vs Alien Queen (11)

Predator (7) vs Brundlefly (10)

Reagan MacNeil (8) vs Pinhead (9)

Check back next time to see the who managed to survive and advance the Round Two!